Chapter 3: The Bed
The area was filled with beds. There were beds on the floor, beds on the walls, and somehow, beds on the ceiling. Red approached a lone sign standing at the chapter entrance.
"The bed was just right, and Goldilocks fell asleep," she read aloud.
Sonic scanned the horizon. "Uh, which bed? There are hundreds."
Red frowned. "It seems we have to find out which one is just right."
"Here goes!"
Sonic stepped on the first bed. He sank like a stone.
"Sonic, are you alright?"
"This bed is too soft." declared a pair of pointy blue ears sticking up between the sheets.
"Right, I don't think you could sleep on, or rather, in that without suffocati-...are you humming the Jaws theme."
The ears began ominously drifting forward. Red grabbed them and lifted their owner to solid ground.
"Ow! Okay, well I'm not taking this slowly anymore."
"Sonic, can we please just-"
Sonic kicked off another bed, finding with considerable delight that it was rather rubbery. He went flying.
"Wheeee!"
Sonic bounded across the beds, whooping and somersaulting. Red took a much more cautious approach, walking on the wooden bedframes and pressing a hand against each mattress she passed.
"We're supposed to be questing. Can't you take this seriously?" she called.
"I am taking it seriously!" he answered mid-pirouette.
She pinched the bridge of her nose, inhaling deeply. "No, you aren't. What if you hurt yourself and can't save the story?"
"Not gonna happen," he declared in singsong, swinging around a tall bedpost.
"And how do you know that?"
"One, this is what I do. Two, we're in a filler chapter! It wouldn't make sense for me to sustain any serious injuries here."
She sighed as he pinballed off several ceiling and wall mattresses. "Have I mentioned lately how bullheaded you are?"
"Yep, several times!" he retorted giddily, posing for a swan dive into a particularly large bed.
A deafening thud rocked the entire chapter. Red strolled over, calmly observing what appeared to be a blue pancake on a bed-shaped skillet.
"That bed is too hard, I take it?" she deadpanned.
"I'll pass on the mustard, please." replied the pancake.
"Well, at least you were right about comedic injuries. I can literally see orange birds circling you. Wait...why is that one wearing a monocle and tophat?"
A gloved hand shot up. "One more last fist bump."
Red shook her head, then looked down at the adjacent bed she was now standing on. "Oh!" she called, "This bed is just right!"
Sonic cringed as he pushed himself to his feet. "It is?"
"Yes! It's pliable, but not collapsing under me."
"Oh good," he responded, rubbing his throbbing nose.
"Great! Now you just have to sleep on it!"
"Hmm." He walked over and poked a foot at the bed, frowning.
"What's the problem? The bed seems perfect to me..."
"Yeah, but I can't sleep."
"What? I know you've got a ludicrous energy reserve, but don't you ever sleep?"
"Oh, I do. I'm known for taking catnaps at random times and annoying the snot out of my friends," he explained, grinning mischievously. "But I'd need to be bored. This adventure is too exciting!"
"This adventure isn't even going to continue until you fall asleep."
Sonic groaned. "But... those bouncy beds are fun…"
She pointed an authoritative finger at the pillow.
Sonic stalked to the side of the bed and flopped over in a huff.
"Seeee? Isn't that comfy?"
"Isn't that comfy?" he repeated in falsetto.
She ignored him.
"Actually…" he mumbled, yawning, "that is a really nice pillow...wow…"
Red froze, not willing to move a muscle. She watched as Sonic rolled over onto his side and curled up. She could see the tension release from his shoulders as his breathing slowed to a peaceful rhythm. She held her breath.
Sonic's ears began twitching.
"But MAN," he cried, bolting upright, "those other beds were epic!"
"Go. To. Sleep."
"Ugh, fiiine," he groaned, plopping back on his pillow.
Red walked off to another bed.
Sonic half-opened one eye. "Where are you going?"
"Oh, don't mind me," she called behind her, "I'm just getting another pillow for myself."
He curled up again. "M'kay."
Red returned and sat next to Sonic, new pillow in hand. She watched as he began fading again, as his breathing slowed, and...as his ears started twitching violently.
Red sighed and held her pillow a foot above his head.
"Three, two, one…" she muttered under her breath.
Sonic bolted upright for the second time. And for the second time, a deafening thud rocked the entire chapter.
"Hey," she quipped, knocking on the pillow with satisfaction, "I guess that other bed was just right too!"
"Zzz," said Sonic.
The pillow in Red's hand crumbled, revealing another Chaos Emerald. She smiled and stashed it in her bag. Realizing Sonic probably wouldn't wake up for a bit, she contentedly lay down, drifting off into a pleasant, significantly more voluntary sleep.
Author's Notes:
Why yes, I do have a bird Avatar. Her name is Tic Tac™. Do not steal.
This chapter is too short. I could acknowledge it as a flaw, or I could point out that the next chapter is too long and pretend I intentionally got really meta with the Goldilocks shtick.