The Evil Curse
Disclaimer: I don't own any Beast Wars characters….that's it.
Last time on Fun in Beast Wars, Kris managed her way out of the Maximal Base, but into the hands of that Homicidal Crab you know, love and fear, Rampage! She managed to stay alive by telling him a plan that could get his spark core back! Will it work? And if it doesn't, how bad with her death be?
The journey to the Predacon Base didn't take long, so Kris didn't even feel awkward with the silence between her and Rampage, although when they got there, she freaked when she almost got hit by a security gun.
Rampage began to get impatient when the doors didn't automatically open, so he knocked on it hard.
"Quickstrike! Open the doors!" he yelled.
Quickstrike's voice could be heard on the speakers outside.
"Woops, sorry Rampage, I'll get it o-….heh, that a new 'toy' ya got there Rampage?" he said with a chuckle, obviously talking about Kris.
"You'll be my chew toy if you don't shut up and open these doors!" the crab replied.
Immediately the doors opened. They walked in and Rampage took Kris to see Megatron. Everyone was staring at Kris when they walked by, so she felt weird being there. She began to feel embarrassed when she felt her face get hot.
Craaaap, my face is going red! She thought.
When they got to Megatron, she was looking down, hiding her face with her hair, which made her look quite ridiculous. Megatron's chair was facing away from them, but she didn't care, she was too embarrassed and shy TO care. Hearing his chair turn to face them made her flinch a bit and she hoped no one had noticed.
"So Quickstrike wasn't lying when he said you had brought a human." Said Megatron. "I would have never believed that you, of all bots, would be one to have a soft spot for humans!"
Before Rampage answered, Kris spoke up.
"It's not that umm, sir, I, uh, have….information! Yeah, that's it, I got info that might help you! That's why he didn't kill me." She said.
Megatron only stared at her.
"Is there something wrong with your face?" he asked.
She put her head back down quickly.
"Uhh, sorry, I'm a little shy." She said meekly.
He looked at her for a bit more than began interrogating her.
"What is your name and where are you from? You look different from other humans here, and look at me when speaking!" he ordered.
And so began the Re-re-…..you know what? SCREW IT. You readers know DANG well what I'm about to say! Humph!
By the time she finished, her face had finally gone back to normal and everyone else's had changed. They were all wide eyed by her story on how they were just a cartoon. Even Rampage had a surprised look on his face. There was an awkward silence.
"Ummmm, that's it." She said, snapping them all out of their shocked state.
"Ahem, um, what valuable information could a human have for me?" Megatron asked, trying to sound stern but still a little out of it from the story.
"Well, I've been around the entire Maximal Base and I'm sure you can use such information because I know some secret ways of getting in besides the front door!" she answered him.
He thought about it for a moment.
"Why did you choose to come and tell me all this? The Maximals ARE the good guys after all. Why not just stay with them?" he inquired.
"Let's just say I ticked off the wrong bot." She said.
He laughed a bit at that.
"What do you want in return?" He went on.
"Oh, a place to stay, a little food, just basic human needs." She answered.
"Fair enough, I'll be thinking of a strategy for us. I'll call you all in when I have one." He said, and with that, he dismissed them all.
When they got far enough from the room for comfort, Kris looked at Rampage, whom had already transformed back to Predacon mode.
"Uhh, 'Page? I'm a little worried about that questioning." She said.
"And why is that?"
"Well, he didn't even ask YOU any questions! Doesn't that worry you?" she asked.
He thought about this, barely noticing that.
"Maybe you got him off track with that story of yours." He told her, considering the story got him off track too.
"Hmmmm, I guess your right. Maybe I'm just putting this thing way out of-" she stopped and toppled over, her stomach letting out a big errrrrrr. "…….um, I'm hungry." She said with an embarrassed smile.
Lucky for her, Megatron had sent Waspinator to go get her some food and water. They went to the control room, where Rampage told her to stay and threatened Quickstrike, whom was on monitor duty, not to lay a hand on her. Rampage left to go think about the plan. Kris and Quickstrike stared at each other.
"Sooooooooo…….how's your day been?" she asked.
"…..fine…..yours?" he replied.
"…..fine as well….."she answered.
Another awkward silence. Thankfully, Waspinator came buzzing in with Kris' food and water.
"Wuzzbinator bring fleshy-bot food and water." He said, giving it to her.
"Oh my God, THANK YOU." She said very happily.
Waspinator transformed to his Predacon mode and stared at her. No one had EVER thanked him for ANYTHING.
"…..fleshy-bot welcome." He said.
Inferno and Tarantulas walked in, curious on having a good look at the new human. They both examined her closely, which made her a bit uncomfortable. She stopped eating and stared back at them.
"…..it's rude to stare ya know." She told them.
They both stopped staring and looked around the room, a little embarrassed.
"Soooo, how'd ya get on crabbies good side?" Quickstrike asked.
She stopped mid-bite as they all stared at her for her answer. She tried to think up of a lie, but couldn't. For some God-forsaken reason she could only think of one thing to do. She dropped her fruit, clutched her stomach and let out a cry of pain.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! OWOWOWOWOW! IM CRAMPING IM CRAMPING!" she yelled, quite realistically.
They all took a jump back, wondering what the HECK was going on!
"WHAT'S CRAMPING?!" yelled Tarantulas.
"I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW!" Quickstrike replied.
"OH MY GOD! IT HURTS! GET ME SOME DAMN MIDOL!!! TYLENOL! ADVIL! ANYTHING! MAKE IT STOP!!!!" she exclaimed.
"WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS?!" shouted Inferno.
"WUZZBINATOR DOEZN'T KNOW!" said Waspinator.
All of a sudden she stopped and sat up. They stared at her, optics wide. She looked at them and smiled.
"I'm okay now." She said.
"What was THAT all about?!" asked Tarantulas.
"I'm about to start PMS." She said.
They kept staring at her.
"….do you guys not know what that is?" she asked.
They shook their heads.
"……oh boy…..you guys sure you wanna know?" she asked cautiously.
They all nodded and she motioned them to come closer.
"Alright, PMS is…" she began to whisper to them.
They all shot up and covered their audios.
"OH MY SLAG I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT!!!" Quickstrike exclaimed, falling back into his chair.
"IM SCARRED FOR LIFE!!!" shouted Tarantulas, going down into feedle position.
"THE VERY IMAGES ARE BURNED INTO MY CPU!!!" yelled Inferno, running around in circles.
"WUZZBINATOR HAZ GONE DEAF!!!" shrieked Waspinator, flying right into a wall.
Megatron burst into the room having heard all the screaming.
"WHAT IS GOING ON?!" he roared.
"ROYALTY! SHE TOLD US OF THE DREADED PMS!" yelled Inferno, clinging to Megatron.
Megatron looked at Kris, whom was daintily drinking some water. He threw Inferno off of him and walked to Kris, giving her a nasty glare.
"WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT?!" he yelled.
"I simply told them of the evil curse that we women must live through." She answered with a shrug.
He grabbed her and held her by the front of her shirt, holding her in the air.
"WHAT IS THIS PMS?!" he demanded to know.
"Are you sure you wa-"
"YES." He yelled shaking her.
"OKAY OKAY!" she yelled, motioning him to get closer.
She whispered to him what the "evil curse" was and he dropped her. His mouth was hanging open and his optics wide.
"So what happens is-"
"Yup."
"And your about to-"
"Mmmhmm."
Megatron ended up fainting. They all stared at the fallen leader.
"Well, at least he didn't scream." Kris said.
TO BE CONTINUED!