Rose: I love this chapter.

Yoh: Why?

Rose: This is a flashback chapter! Although it is pretty sad...

Lyserg: Disclaimer: Rose-Sempai does not own Shaman King. She does, however, own a fake samurai sword that's been drawn on with a red marker.

Yoh: Drawn on with a red marker?

Rose: For an English project.

Yoh: Mmkay.

Lyserg: Sue death toll count: 3

Rose: Reviews kill Sues! ON WITH LE FIC!

All eyes were on the pair that had just walked into the Patch Cafe. It was silent. You could've heard a pin drop. The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with Ren's Kwan Dao.

That was because said Chinese Shaman was walking side-by-side with Asakura Hao.

And the whole Cafe went berserk.

"REN!" screamed Horo, "You betrayed us!" He watched Ren pull out a chair for Hao. "No, not really." Hao said rather nonchalantly.

"We've made a deal." said Ren. "He's going to help us get rid of it."

Everyone looked puzzled. "What do you mean, 'it'?" Yoh asked. Anna didn't look as confused. "I'll bite. It's Tenshi, isn't it?"

Hao nodded gravely. "Yes. Tenshi is a MarySue."

Anna sighed. "That was my first guess. My second was that she's a spy, and everything was just cooked up by an unknown organization."

"I would've gladly gone for the latter." Hao reached for a bread roll, but Anna slapped away his hand. "Ouch!"

"First, you tell us how you know about them. Then you can eat." And, as an extra precaution, Anna moved the bread basket away from Hao.

With a rejected sigh, Hao began his story...

Flashback begins (Hao is 13 yrs old)

"HAAAAAAAOOO! Where are yoooouuu?!" Panting, the Shaman rounded the corner and ducked into a nearby alleyway. The girl chasing him, or Kiri Kasame SummerPetal, was no doubt right on his trail.

Kiri was tall, with long, black hair with light pink streaks in it, and pastel pink eyes. With her was the spirit of a warrior-princess who had died in some unknown battle. Her parents had abandoned her, and Hao had rescued her from almost being drowned in a river.

Or so she thought.

When Hao had denied ever seeing her, Kiri wailed and darted after him. Hao had to admit, she was strong, beautiful, and pure, but she was just so...so...

Annoying.

The fire shaman wiped his forehead and started looking around for an escape route. A few trash cans, a pile of brick and concrete, and a rusty old ladder. His options didn't look so good.

Dainty footsteps came closer and closer. "Hao, I know you're here. Please, let me be your Shaman Bride!"

Frantic, Hao looked around wildly for some other way of escape. The ladder was rusty, but he could chance it.

Hao ran over to it, grabbed it, and started to climb. He felt it crumble under his weight, and the screws gave way. Below him, Kiri waited for his fall with outstretched arms. Hao closed his eyes and waited for it...but it never came. Instead, he was standing on his feet, and Kiri was no longer screaming for him.

Hao opened up his eyes, and found himself standing on the roof he had tried to escape onto. Kiri was gone in a puff of gray smoke, and behind him was a tall, red-haired guy about his age holding a huge, shiny blue gun that looked almost fake.

"Whew! Hope you're okay, kid. Looks like you don't have much experience fighting Mary-Sues."

Hao blinked. "Mary...Sues...?"

The guy nodded. "Yeah. They're supposed to be perfect little angels, but they cause many characters great distress, like yourself. Worst part of it is, people create them, and there's always two or more of them chasing a character. Come on, I'll explain it to you and introduce you to my boss. By the way, what's your name? I'm Sagittarius."

Sagittarius had taken Hao into a room filled with shiny, blinking computers and the low murmur of conversation. "Everyone," he announced, "this is Hao!"

Everyone turned to them and greeted the pair with smiles and cheers.

"We heard you helped Sagi defeat a Sue!"

"Was that your first time?"

"Are you hungry at all?"

Hao blinked. "Um, in order: Sagittarius did all the work, what's a Sue? and yes, a little."

Sagittarius laughed. "Hao, just call me Sagi. Lunch is in the breakroom."

The two boys had a peaceful lunch in the breakroom, until Sagi brought up the reason for all of this madness. "Sues are created only for the purpose of love. They are made pure, strong, beautiful, and tragic. And annoying, stupid, vain, and childish. First order of business is the rules: Don't provoke a Sue. They might not like it, but at the same time, they might like it. They're just big mood swings, those Sues. Too unpredictable."

"Second rule is: Don't fight a Sue on your own. Get someone from the organization to help you. If you see a Sue, contact us." Sagi slid a piece of paper over to Hao. "She will immediately be put on mark for a trial. DO NOT create a Sue, or we will have to hunt you down."

"ZERP!" Hao coughed and almost spit out his sandwich. He hadn't created a Sue, but hunting them down... "You're really extreme about this."

Sagi sighed. "Only because a Sue stole my little sister's fiance. My sis was so heartbroken that she drowned herself. I fight for her." Sagi took a picture out of his pocket and slid it over to Hao. He turned it around. "Is this your sister?" Sagi nodded. "She's beautiful!"

Sagi ran his fingers through his hair. "Yes, but not beautiful enough to match a Sue. They damage relationships and break families apart." Sagi pointed over to a girl with brown hair. "See her? One of her sisters created a Sue that stole her father away from her mother. Instant crash."

Hao looked down at his lunch. He wasn't hungry anymore.

"And...that's it." Hao sat back in his chair. "That's my knowledge of Sues....what are you staring at?"

The group looked terrified. Horo was rigid, Ren was petrified, Yoh was shaking, Choco looked like doom, and Manta was freaking out. Only Anna was the one who was somewhat calm.

"We're screwed, that's what." said Horo, as he passed the bread basket over to Hao.

"Hmm...well, we'll just have to start training more. And keep our eyes peeled." said Anna.

Rose: ACHOO!

Lyserg: Gesundheit.

Yoh: Funga Fufu. (eats orange) Oranges are high in citrus. They're good to eat when you have a cold.

Rose: That's nice Yoh, but I don't have any oranges.

Lyserg: Again, reviews kill Sues.

Yoh: For every review you send, you will receive a description of the Sue you killed. It doesn't matter if the review is short or long, you just need to review.

Rose: Also, if you review, but do NOT have a account, I can't send it to you. Sorry, but that's how it goes.

Lyserg: That's the way the cookie crumbles.

Yoh: That's how we roll.

All: Ja ne!