A/N: Hello, followers, favorites and readers in general. Hope you're enjoying these stories I'm writing. Feel free to review with anything you'd like to see here and I'll do my best to live up to your expectations. Also, I have a few other stories, so if you enjoy Ninja Turtles, Star vs the Forces of Evil, Fairy Tail and Miraculous Ladybug, as well as a few other stories I hope to publish soon, please check them out and review them. Now here in the talk between Steven and Connie.

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True Selfishness

When Connie had been taken by Topaz, despite her initial anxiety over the matter, she knew that the gems and Steven would come for her, as well as the other four people being held captive with her. And a lot sooner than she had thought, the Crystal Gems had shown up, demanding the Homeworld gems to return them.

Then Steven had ended up kidnapped right with them, only for him to use his bubble to bust them out of Topaz's form, giving them a chance to fight and escape. But even as she tried to work with Steven to get out, she could see that he was unfocused, the guilt and stress evident on his face as he mumbled to himself about the situation being his fault.

Of course, then Alexandrite had grabbed the ship and for one moment, it looked like they were all going to get out of there. For one moment, it looked like they were going to win. Then, somehow, the Aquamarine had gotten all of them and then Steven had done the unthinkable to save them: he told them he was Rose Quartz. The very gem that had shattered Pink Diamond and was the leader of the rebels fighting for earth.

Despite the Crystal Gems' begging, despite her own pleads to him to not go through with this, he had still turned his back on them and went on the ship with Topaz and Aquamarine, only turning around to give them a look of pure sadness as he declared softly, "I love you." And then they were gone, disappearing in the blink of an eye as the ship went into space.

After that, the whole thing was a blur, from making sure everyone was okay, to realizing that one of the humans didn't get off the ship (The blonde girl, Sadie, seemed particularly upset about that), to telling Mr. Universe that his son had been taken to Homeworld where he would most likely be shattered for the death of a Diamond. She had been unable to stand the way the man had broken down, unable to assure him that Steven would be okay. Most likely, he would be destroyed and there was nothing any of them could do about it.

Several days had past, most of which was spent working with Peridot and the gems to fix the green hand drop ship that Jasper, Peridot and Lapis had come to earth on. Connie had called her parents, telling them the situation and how she was needed to help rescue Steven. The five of them (The Crystal Gems, Greg and herself) all had on brave faces, putting any and all emotions into their work so they could have a chance to save the half-human gem. But it was slow going, and they couldn't even get it to fly. Then, just as they came to get more supplies, Steven was back, looking completely okay, like he'd just came back from a stroll along the beach.

After they had all group-hugged, he'd explained all that happened on Homeworld. The almost escape on the ship, the trial in which the death of Pink Diamond could not be explained and where it seems as though one of the Diamonds had killed Pink Diamond rather than Rose Quartz, how he and Lars had befriended some "Off Colors" and worked to take down some gem-seeking robots sent by the Diamonds. How Lars had died saving them all and how he had unintentionally brought him back with his tears. That Lars was like Lion now, pink and with hair that held a dimension connected to the one in Lion's mane that allowed him to get to earth. And ultimately, the agreement between him and Lars, that he'd go to earth due to the huge target on his head on Homeworld, but he would travel back to help the six of them until they could all get to earth.

At the time following his summary of what he'd been up to for the past few days, the gems decided that he should take the night to rest and they would all talk about the current situation and what was the best action to take, tomorrow. So they had all retired to their beds, or in Mr. Universe's case, his van. Connie took the couch, having already gotten permission to stay over from her parents and she had fallen into an uneasy sleep.

After a small while of dozing, Connie's eyes snapped open as she heard the sound of the front door creaking closed. One glance at the clock told her it was only three in the morning, while another glance upward told her it was Steven who had left the house. Which worked well for her, considering she had a bone to pick with the half-gem.

After he had been taken, she had had to bury what she was feeling inside, so she could focus on what she needed to do. But now that Steven was back, safe and well, she could feel all the negative feelings come barreling through her veins. The hurt, the anger, the sadness, with just a touch of happiness, that was greatly overshadowed by the other emotions. And she refused to let another moment pass without alerting the source of her turmoil of what exactly he'd done to her.

Creeping from her bed, Connie slipped on her shoes and went out the screen door. After a moment of scrutinizing the horizon below, she saw Steven. He was sitting before the beach, far enough from the waves that it stopped a few inches from touching him. Taking a deep breath to at least give the illusion of calmness, Connie moved down the stairs to stand behind him. It was a few moments before he noticed her presence.

"Oh, hey Connie," he said, voice just as cheerful and normal as before, albeit slightly subdued. Feeling a flash of irritation at how unaffected he seemed, Connie quietly sat beside him, looking at the water before them. She could feel his gaze on her, but she pointedly glared ahead.

"You know, when I was on Homeworld, I noticed it was always kind of unnaturally sunny," Steven observed offhandedly, looking up at the sky as he talked, "it's like, after spending so much time there, I forgot what the stars looked like. It's nice to see them again." Connie was still silent, although she was gazing up at the sky as well, watching the stars intently.

There was a solid minute of awkward silence as Steven seemed to be waiting for her to say something. Anything. But she refused to indulge him, she refused to let him think everything was okay now. "Connie," Steven asked hesitantly after a while, "are you okay? You're very quiet."

And then she finally spoke, voice gradually getting louder and colder with each word that came out of her mouth, "Okay? You think after that stunt you pulled a few days ago, that I'm okay?! Let me tell you, Steven, I'm as far from okay as any person can get."

She heard the boy give a deep sigh as he caught unto her real feelings towards him at the moment. "Listen, Connie. I know you're probably mad that I gave myself up, but-"

"But what, Steven?!" She interrupted, practically yelling at this point as she turned to face him, "What could you possibly say right now that would make the choice you made acceptable in any way, shape or form?"

"Connie-"

But now that she had started, the words came pouring out, the heart-crushing emotions from the past few days fueling her little tirade, "Do you have any idea what you put us all through? What you put me through? I watched you walk away with some gem bounty hunters after admitting to being the gem that killed one of their beloved leaders! I spent days wondering what was happening to you over there, torturing myself with the horrible possibilities. I thought you might have been killed or worse! And now you dare to attempt to make small-talk like everything's normal?!"

"Connie, I-"

"I mean, how could you do that to me? From the beginning, you promised that whatever trouble we face, whatever battle may be ahead, we would face it together. You jumped down me and Pearl's throat for encouraging the whole self-sacrificing thing, and then first chance you got, you pulled the exact same thing! You didn't even think to fuse with me or to let me help in some other way! How could you ever think that giving yourself the way you did was a good idea?!"

"Because it was my fault!" Steven argued back vehemently, "I gave Homeworld a solid list of humans and they were snatching them all up. Because of what I did! And we barely held our own against Topaz and Aquamarine had you all in her wand beam, or whatever. There was no way we would have gotten away from that situation, so I made a smart decision to give myself up so that everyone I had inadvertently put in danger would be free. And it paid off! You all got away, mostly, and I'm back on earth, safe and sound. Doesn't that mean something?"

Connie frantically shook her head. "The ends don't justify the means, Steven. And you had no way of knowing this would have all worked out, so don't you dare act like it. You worried me, the gems and your dad unnecessarily, all because of your stupid hero complex!"

"Stupid?! You think me making sure everyone was safe, that you were safe, was stupid?!" Steven questioned incredulously, looking shockingly at her.

"That's all it ever is with you, Steven! You always have to save everyone. You can't go a day without either meddling into other people's affairs or trying so hard to fix someone else's problems. You were willing to take a punishment for your mom, Rose Quartz, only to realize she may not have even done the crime in the first place! Which would have meant you needlessly surrendered yourself for nothing! Which, by the way, not only makes you a hypocrite, but selfish too!"

"Selfish?! I did it to save you! To save all of you! It was my mistake and my mom that put everyone in deep trouble, so I did what I had to do to protect you all. Can't you understand that?" Steven voice was just as loud as her's at this point, but neither friends were willing to back down at this point.

"The way I see it, you were doing all you could to shield us from something you can't shield us from." Connie pointed out with a hard voice. "Maybe it's because of your supposed magical destiny or because your mom was some worshipped gem rebel leader, but you seem to think that it falls on you to make the tough choices and protect us from the dangers ahead. And you can't do that, Steven! You couldn't stop us from being kidnapped. You couldn't even stop Lars from dy-"

At this point, Steven gasped as he got the gist of what Connie had been trying to say. Then his face crumpled with pain before he turned to look out at the ocean, now the one refusing to make eye contact. Connie stop talking, realizing after a few moments of how she had crossed a line. While she was mad, and justified by her anger, throwing his mistakes and failures back at his face wasn't the way to go. Especially by reminding him of the actual death of one of his closest friends. "Steven, I'm-" she started, voice a tab bit more subdued as she tried to take back her thoughtless and somewhat heartless words.

Steven spoke before she could say anymore. "Do you know what it was like, giving myself up like that? It was so hard, knowing I would be treated like a criminal and have to face the consequences of my mom's actions. I was actually glad Lars was there, despite how I knew it was wrong to feel that way. Then when he was fighting the robonoids, I thought everything would be okay. That the two of us would make it out of Homeworld with nothing but bad memories and wounds that would eventually heal. But then that last one exploded and I-" And here, Steven's voice broke as his eyes glazed over, seeing things only he knew of. "He hit two rocks when he was falling down, Connie. And he wasn't moving at all. I went to him, hoping desperately that he was okay. When he still hadn't moved a muscle, I put my ear on his chest, exactly where his heart should be and-" Steven stopped talking abruptly, visibly struggling to keep talking despite how he looked like he wanted to cry from the phantom pains he was feeling from dark memories. It was awhile before he said something, in which he spent composing himself.

"Do you know what it was like, realizing there was nothing to hear? I strained my ears to find his heartbeat and found nothing. And I know I brought him back with my tears, but that doesn't change the fact that Lars had died saving me as well as the Off Colors and due to my mistakes. And I can't help but wonder, what would have happened if I hadn't cried on him? Would he still be dead? How would I begin to explain that to his parents, to Sadie? And ultimately, it would have been my fault. One of my best friends would have been dead because of me."

"It was so hard to leave him and the Off Colors in the Kindergarden, almost like I was abandoning them. They were in danger because the Diamonds were tracking me, and I basically left them to their doom. What kinda friend does that, leaving the people you care for to their fate?" Steven gave a deep sigh, "You don't understand how life is for me sometimes, Connie. I watch other people with their families, see you with your mom, and I'm reminded that's something I can never have. What's worse, my mom had supposedly killed someone, which was something I had to live with, and now I'm not sure what to think. Living up to her reputation, acting so happy and helpful all the time, it's hard sometimes. And maybe I do have some kind of hero complex, but that's only because the people in my life, they mean the world to me. I would do anything to ensure they're happy and safe. And maybe what I did was selfish. It may have been one of the most selfish decisions that was ever made in Beach City. But I would make that choice again in a heartbeat."

There was a deafening silence in the wake of Steven's revelations. "I'm sorry for hurting you, Connie, and I'm sorry I worried you so much. But you have to know that those are the kind of impossible decisions I'll have to make, and I will always choose what I think is right."

Connie took a moment to ponder on what Steven was saying. Admittedly, she had jumped the gun on her accusations. Listening to how sad and mature he sounded, she was reminded of the fact that despite the fact that he looked like a kid, Steven was a teenager. One who was forced to partake in a war started by his mom and who spent his time thinking of ways to save everyone but himself. And it was sad, realizing how much he put the world on his shoulders. He had so much burden to bear and he was forcing himself to go through it. It made her feel horrible for just focusing on her feelings and not on his.

Taking her own deep breath, she said softly, "I don't know if I can forgive you for what you did right now. I mean, you basically turned your back on everyone else and just did your own thing. And a part of me is still anger about that. But, you did these things to keep the city and people you care about safe. And I can't really begrudge you on that."

Slowly turning to face her, Steven hesitantly asked, "So, are we still friends?" After a moment, Connie answered, "Not right now. I need some time to process all this and I can't do that if I'm still hanging out with you. I just need a little break." Seeing his crestfallen face, she quickly added, "But know I still care about you and I promise I will forgive you soon. I'm also not abandoning you now. You'll need my help to rescue Lars and the Off Colors, and then to fight Homeworld. And know that I'll always be there for you, Steven."

Steven face slowly lite up as a smile graced his face. "Thanks, Connie." He said gently as they turned to watch the peaceful horizon in front of them together.

...

So, how was it? Tell me what you think, I would really appreciate some feedback. Now, about the next chapter, a guest has asked if I could do a chapter where the of colors meet the barn mates. And while I'll attempt said fanfiction, I'm not sure if I will be able to write said thing, so I will fulfill Belphy's request of when Steven tells people of his and Lars' adventure and status. I apologize, I will attempt the guest's request, but not right now. Until next chapter!