A/N: Long gap between updates 'cause I got sick. Still have two more GG fics that need updates ASAP, but this is the most popular so I came here first. Thanks for all the fab feedback. On we go...

(For disclaimer, etc - see chapter 1)

Chapter 4

"Hey, sweets. You okay there?" asked Lorelai in a whisper.

Rory hadn't really been herself all day, and especially not at the grandparents function tonight. Not that Lorelai wasn't feeling her own kind of awkward here, sat next to Jason and being told to act like a couple. Little did Emily and Richard know that was exactly what they were! Lorelai shook her head and refocused her attention on Rory. Something just wasn't right with the kid, and Lorelai would bet everything she had on the fact Jess had something to do with it.

"I'm fine," said Rory with a brave smile. "I- I don't know, I'm just a little... Today has been a weird day."

The grandparents had gone to circulate, leaving the Gilmore girls with an awkward looking Jason sat between them, and two secretaries talking quietly amongst themselves on the other side of the table. Jason looked from his girlfriend to her daughter and back again, then shoved his chair away from the table.

"Now seems like a good time for a drink," he said, smiling at Lorelai and then all but running from the table.

"Huh. Men really are afraid of girl-talk," said Rory, watching Jason make a hasty retreat.

"Yep, seems that way," Lorelai nodded, moving over into her boyfriend's seat next to Rory. "So, this is still about the J word?"

"Mom!" Rory almost laughed at the way she said it. "You can call him by his name, but yes, Jess is on my mind, more than a little," she admitted with a sigh.

"That talk you had at Weston's, I thought it was a good thing," said Lorelai with concern. "You cleared the air, right? Got to being friends?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," Rory considered. "And you two are friends now too, at least from what I saw this morning?"

"Um, yeah. I guess, kind of," said Lorelai thoughtfully. "I don't know, babe. I think Jess has been through a rough time since he left, and as much as a part of me thinks any pain is well deserved... I don't know," she admitted with a sigh. "He reminded me just a little too much of me last night."

Rory might have thought that comment was a little strange if she was really listening to what her mom said. Truthfully, her brain was otherwise occupied, replaying her conversation with Jess earlier, and over and over for maybe the hundredth time. It was so surreal seeing him again, especially when their reunion had gone nothing like she ever imagined. Rory always thought she would be more mad at Jess, that he would beg her forgiveness maybe. She wanted some epic explanation for why he ran and to feel satisfied when it was given. Rory wasn't ready to be blamed for her part in the break up. She wasn't ready to feel the strange longing in her chest that had been there for such a time now that she ought to be used to it. Missing Jess just hadn't ever gone away, no matter how many weeks and months passed.

"He apologised," she told her mom then. "For everything. I did too. I know it was easy to blame him for everything that went wrong with us, but honestly? I could've behaved better," she admitted sadly. "I should've treated him better, Mom. I've known that for a long time, I think, I just... I didn't want to admit it. It was easier to be mad."

Lorelai put her arm around Rory's shoulders and gave her a quick squeeze. She wanted to say that her daughter did nothing wrong when it came to Jess, but she couldn't. Nobody knew what went on in that relationship except for the two people in it, and Lorelai did know that Rory had been kind of judgemental sometimes. Lorelai also knew she hadn't helped with that, and it hurt her heart to realise that she had probably been a part of the screwing up of the Rory and Jess romance too. That wasn't cool.

"So, now you guys are okay with each other?" she asked eventually.

"More or less," Rory agreed, nodding her head. "But by the time we get back to town, he'll be gone again, so it doesn't really matter anyway. I guess it's nice knowing if he ever comes back some other time, the air is clear, y'know?

"I know, babe." Lorelai smiled warmly. "Hey, how about we give this thing another half hour and then book it to that Firelight Festival? Pretty sure burgers and funnel cake will perk you right up."

"Sounds good," said Rory with her first real smile of the night.

Jess wasn't sure why he was sitting here. The car was fixed, Gypsy was paid, it was time to leave. Under cover of darkness was probably for the best, without catching another glimpse of a Gilmore girl or anybody else that might make for an awkward confrontation. He had apologised to Lorelai, made things better with Rory. Jess had even gone to talk with Luke and smoothed things out. There was nothing left to do now but start the car and leave Stars Hollow one final time, and yet Jess was still sitting here.

"This is crazy," he muttered to himself, fingers running back through his hair.

Jess' free hand pulled down the driver's side visor, startling him when an envelope dropped down into his lap. Though there was no note or even a message scrawled on the envelope itself, the money stuffed inside gave away where it had come from. Jess shook his head and smiled. Luke was too good a person. A much better father than Jimmy had ever been. A much better parent than Liz could ever hope to be. Still, as much as he could use the cash, Jess knew he couldn't take it. He already owed so much.

Getting out of the car, Jess shoved the envelope inside his leather jacket and pulled the zipper higher. Heading for the diner was going to be a dangerous mission with all the people milling around the Firelight Festival, including Liz and her new guy. Jess kept his head down and powered forward, hoping to get across the square without incident. Fate had to be playing the cruellest of tricks, Jess realised, as he looked up the same moment as Rory and their eyes met.

"Hi", she said, though clearly startled by the sight of him.

"Hi," Jess replied in kind, trying not to recall a time when they had got stuck on that particular word way back in the beginning.

"I thought you'd be gone by now."

"That was the plan."

An awkward pause followed, until suddenly the hot dog vendor prompted Rory to take her purchase. She snapped out of her daze, taking the food and turning back to face Jess. He was surprised when she held out one hot dog to him.

"You're not hungry?" she checked when he didn't move immediately.

Jess opened his mouth and closed it again fast. This was kind of surreal, but honestly, he was hungry and as nuts as he had to be for thinking it, the idea of spending a few more minutes in Rory's company before he departed did kind of appeal.

"I could eat," he said at last, taking the hot dog from her hand. "Thanks. Er, you want to...?" he asked, gesturing to an empty bench a few feet away.

"Sure," Rory agreed, nodding her head.

They sat down with a clear two feet between them. It was kind of ridiculous, but even sharing the same space with hot dogs in their hands was another memory that used to be beautiful and now semed painful. A day in New York, before they were even dating, that now seemed like a life time ago. Jess looked at Rory and then away again as she did the same to him. They ate in silence, and as soon as they were both done, Jess got up.

"I should go," he muttered, knowing it had to be the best thing.

Rory's voice stopped him dead in his tracks before he had barely taken one step.

"Again?" she asked, noticing Jess wince at the sound. "I'm sorry but you really do seem to have this habit of running out on me."

She didn't even sound mad somehow, just bitter. Jess turned slowly to look at her and shook his head.

"Rory..."

"Jess, I just... I don't know why we can't be friends," she said sadly.

Jess had a hundred answers to that one, none of which he was willing to share.

"Because we can't," he said at last, barely looking at her now.

"That's not an answer."

"It's all I've got."

Rory watched Jess push his hands in his pockets, his back mostly to her. She hated that he wouldn't look at her, and yet she wasn't sure how she would meet his eyes if he did. It was never easy, looking at Jess. Somehow it was too good, too much, like looking into the sun. Still she missed the shiver that always ran through her when their gazes locked, the thrill of just being in his company, talking, bantering back and forth. She just missed him.

"We used to be friends," she noted. "Before... everything else. It worked just fine. Why not now? Why can't we?"

"Because I love you!"

The four words came out of his mouth too loudly, too suddenly. Had they been in a room, Rory was sure all the air would have rushed out in a second. As they were outside, she really couldn't account for the fact there was no breath in her body and suddenly no sound from any of the people or activites going on all around her. There was just her and Jess, and his words hanging between them.

It took Rory a moment to realise Jess was now making a hasty exit, possibly because she had given no answer to his declaration, maybe just because she was sitting here with her mouth opening and closing like a fish. Scrambling to her feet, she literally ran after him, catching him by the sleeve a little further across the square.

"Rory," he said with a sigh, not turning around yet. "I have to go."

"No, you don't," she insisted.

"Give me one reason why not," he asked, finally looking at her.

Rory faltered the moment his eyes met hers. She knew it was fatal to meet that gaze, but she just couldn't help it. A part of her knew what she wanted to say here, but the larger part was full of fear and concern.

"Jess..." she said, shaking her head when no more words would come.

With a sad smile, he looked away as he spoke; "That's what I thought."

"Jess, I'm sorry," said Rory desperately, hanging onto his sleeve still. "I just... I can't say it back, not now, not after everything, but I- I just know that I don't want you to leave."

That seemed to come as a surprise to him.

"You don't?"

"I don't," she promised. "Jess, I didn't want you to leave the first time or the second time, why would I want you to go now?"

With a sigh, he ran his free hand over his face. This was such a crazy freakin' day. Two days, actually. Coming to Stars Hollow was such a big ass mistake, and staying would be a worse one. It was nuts that Rory was asking him to, that she seemed oblivious to all the reasons why he should go.

"Because... I'm a jerk," he said at last.

"For saying you love me?" she checked, shaking her head at the ridiculous logic. "You're not a jerk. Please, Jess. Please, come back, enjoy the festival," she urged him with a smile, changing tack when she saw the incredulous look on his face. "Okay, fine, watch me enjoy the festival," she tried, rolling her eyes. "Our couch is still available for tonight, and then tomorrow if you really want to leave, you can," she told him, "but not like this. Please?"

Jess already knew he could deny her nothing, never could. Those big blue eyes set into the beautiful face of Rory Gilmore, the most intelligent, crazy, wonderful girl he ever met in his whole life. The only girl he ever fell in love with, and Jess was already pretty sure he was in love for life.

"Okay," he said at last, watching Rory's face light up brighter than the fire beyond.

He had to be crazy, Jess was damn sure on that, or maybe he was just the same fool in love that he had been for more than a year now, since the first day that he walked into the Crap Shack and laid eyes on Rory Gilmore. There was no other explanation.

To Be Continued...