After allowing himself a few…more like several orgasms with Castiel's face as a backdrop, and this included numerous types of fantasies, like those gorgeous lips kissing Dean's cock, his sexy-as-fuck eyes watching Dean jerk off, or Dean's personal favorite, that Castiel was standing under the streetlamp at the last place they met, and then suddenly opens his trench coat, revealing his completely naked body underneath it – after several indulgences, Dean realized he'd better just face reality, or he was going to make himself miserable with desire.
Dean hooked up with a guy here and there, and it helped get Dean back on track. Even though he'd missed a great opportunity, Dean felt things were going well in his life. They were selling more of Dad's newest product now, and Dad himself was starting to feel much better. Dean and Sam went out of their way to not only see Mom and Dad, but to head up to South Dakota to see their favorite uncle, Bobby.
After leaving Bobby's one day, Dean drove most of the day, until they got to one of the best greasy spoon diners they'd ever eaten at. Looking forward to the meal - a greasy bacon cheeseburger just the way he liked it, with fries and a chocolate shake in a cold glass - Dean was smiling as he slammed his car door.
He had no clue he was going to have a lot more reasons to smile.
Castiel was standing there, in front of the restaurant, looking at Dean. As if he'd been waiting for him.
And not only, that, but looking at Dean with so much longing, Dean was ready to pinch himself.
"Castiel? Castiel, is that really you? Holy shit!" Dean said. He felt like they were long lost lovers, even though they still didn't really know each other at all.
Sam muttered something about he'd been waiting inside, Thank God, because Dean really wanted a chance to talk to Castiel. Alone.
He nearly gripped the man's arm, before he remembered his manners. "Cas, Castiel, you…how did you get here? I thought I'd never see you again!"
"I wouldn't have allowed that to happen," Castiel said, and it was such an odd thing to say, Dean twisted his eyeballs up in his head, thinking about it. "What? Never mind. Cas, I've got to have your phone number. Please? I'd really…really like to get to know you better." And I'd really like to fuck your brains out, tonight.
Dean was aware though, that a one-night-stand would not be satisfactory, if he got that lucky. At this point, he couldn't even fathom having to step away from that beautiful face. Goddamn it, I really have it BAD.
Dean was embarrassed. He'd never begged for a man's phone number before, ever. Usually, it was Dean on the receiving end of that, and Dean was always adamant not to give it out.
Please, please, don't let this be the time that karma decides to be a bitch.
Dean realized people inside the restaurant were staring at them. "Hey, come here, please", Dean asked. He nodded towards the side of the building, where there were no windows. Castiel nodded in agreement and followed.
Once around the corner, Castiel said, "Dean, I do not have a phone number…"
"You don't?" Dean was instantly dismayed. He shook his head. "Everyone has a phone number. If you don't want to give me yours, you can tell me. I can deal." No, I can't.
"I really don't have one, Dean, or I would give it to you."
Dean looked around. No one was in gawking distance. "Look, Castiel, you are one weird dude. I mean you've showed up to me in several random places, you don't own a car or a phone, yet we keep running into each other. How? How is this even possible?"
Castiel looked frightened. Like deer in the headlights frightened.
"Dude, I'm not trying to scare you. Look, I should ask you, are you, gay?"
Castiel looked puzzled. "Gay?" He looked up at his incredible eyebrows, contemplating the question.
Dean started wondering if English wasn't his first language, even though he had no accent. "Do you like men, Castiel?"
"I like you, Dean," Castiel said. "So, yes."
Dean leaned in closer. "I want to kiss you. May I?" Dean was thinking for the first time in his life though, that he shouldn't have asked. Because. He. Could. Say. No. But the last thing he wants to do is frighten Castiel away.
Dean knows he's crazy at this point. He's talking to some guy who talks like he was born yesterday, has no clue who he really is, but yet, he's never wanted to kiss someone so badly in his entire life.
/
Dean Winchester wants to kiss me.
I was not anticipating this at all. The most I had hoped for was perhaps another handshake. Another hello, another accepting glance from his warm and tender eyes.
We have met three times, and his lips ache for mine. The pleasure I feel with the anticipation is immeasurable. My curiosity peaks me. My human likeness shudders with desire. My ability to swoon has increased a thousand fold.
Dean takes one look at my eyes and knows I wish to fulfill him. I get that kiss. He waits no longer.
Our lips meet, and this intimacy is the sweetest thing I have ever known. I could cry tears of joy, if I had real eyes. Dean presses up against my likeness and continues to kiss me, softly. I feel the soft pads of his lips. I feel his heartbeat in his chest. I taste his breath. I feel the tickle of the whiskers breaking out of his skin. I wish so much I truly had a human body, so I could feel even more. But even so, with my likeness, I feel so much I am overwhelmed.
Have not human poets written about this moment so many countless times? With that wish unfulfilled with each passing day?
Dean stops briefly and I long to feel his warm lips back on mine. But I realize too it is almost time for me to go. I decide I will not wait so long to see Dean Winchester again.
I am not sure either of us could stand it.
"Cas," Dean says, his head still very close to the likeness of mine. "How can I see you again? I need to see you again. Will you come in and eat with us?"
"I can't," I tell him. It pains me so to disappoint him. "I must be going. But we will see each other again. Please trust me."
Dean steps away. "I guess I don't have a choice! I have no idea what planet you're from, but heaven help me, I need to see you again, Castiel. And I want to know things. Like how we keep running into each other. Can you at least give me that?"
I think about it. I suppose the next time we meet, I could reveal more about my true self. "I will do that Dean. Next time. I must go now, duty calls."
"Duty? What is your job, anyway?"
"I take care of people that grieve," I tell him, and then walk away.
Dean sees the ghost of my likeness walking away for several minutes, because he keeps watching it. I do not pull it from the earth until I am certain he is no longer looking.
Actually, I flew to my recent charge immediately.
/
"Castiel, Castiel, Castiel, what on earth have you gotten yourself into?" my brother asks me later in heaven. "You realize this cannot go very far, don't you? And you've already kissed him? He's human. He's going to want more than that."
"I have already promised him I will answer some of his questions."
"Oh, that's going to go over well. Trust me. People freak if you tell them you are an angel. Look at you like you're crazy. Start wondering if they are crazy. Good luck with that, man."
"And another thing, if Dean Winchester asks if you are gay, you say YES."
"What does it mean? Liking men? As opposed to women?"
"It means you are a dude liking a dude. Doesn't apply if you are a woman liking a dude. Then you're straight."
"Straight, is heterosexual then? And gay, is homosexual?"
"Yes, you're learning, little bro!" He slaps the likeness of my shoulder.
"I am homosexual?" I ask.
"Castiel, you know you're not sexual anything. But Dean sees your visage, and it's a male visage. So if he asks if you are gay, and you like him, say yes, get it?"
"Yes."
"Enjoy him while it lasts," Gabriel says, shaking his head."I feel bad for you, bro. Humans. Don't get too involved, other than doing your duty. I learned that a long time ago."
There is something unspoken between myself and my brother. He knows I cannot learn the truth until I experience it. I know I cannot stop myself until I meet the very end of what can be between myself and Dean Winchester.