Because Neji was getting tired of Tenten's specialty, chicharong flower, he ordered the young lady to cook fried fish. On her first attempt however, she nearly lost all blood from her body when she accidentally stabbed her own hand instead of the Neji's soon-to-be fried fish. Good thing the young lad arrived just in time, with over-flowing concern for his expensive tiles, and saved Tenten before she suffered fatal hemorrhage. More importantly, they finally had a meal which isn't chicharon.
Now let us take a look at the next colorful chapter of our telenovela which doesn't have the slightest significance to the practical everyday living lessons learned from your Home Economics teacher. By the way, some scenes may be dangerous to your health. Keep out of reach of children. Parental guidance is advised. What you don't know won't hurt you as long as you don't know it hurts. Laugh moderately. And if symptoms persist, insult your doctor.
…………………….
Tenten has been living for some months now in the Hyuuga mansion. Even though it was hard on the part of the young lad, he had slowly accepted the fact that our heroine, little by little, was becoming a part of his life.
The kitchen was not a kitchen without the lass creating magic with her fish-based meals she dubbed as exotic dishes. His laundry was not the same without Tenten there, hanging up his clothes, his underwear arranged according to color. (Damn, now every guest who visits his mansion, even the entire neighborhood, knows he has four pairs of red briefs.)
In short, he had grown used to having a pain in the ass in his life. However, there wouldn't be a story without a conflict, right, kids? (That's your cue: do the tango, and pretend you're watching Blues Clues)
Anyway, here's the orchestrated plot twist for the young lass' story…
"Neji, you've got mail!" Tenten cheerfully delivered the envelope to the boy's hand. "Who ever thought someone would waste a stamp on you!"
Neji glared at her. "I would appreciate a little respect on your part, Tenten."
She grinned. "Why, Hyuuga Neji, you think I silently mock your noble name? Perish that thought!" Peering down, she looked at his letter. "But in fairness, at first I didn't want to believe the letter was yours until I saw your name on the envelope. Is that a love letter? A gift pack from your favorite men's magazine? Maybe they finally chose your True Confessions submission!"
"You're the one subscribed to that magazine, not me," muttered Neji.
"You're the one with something to confess, not me," said Tenten. "Besides, you also read it!
"What did you expect me to do? Every time you read it you always sit beside me!"
"Who told you to read along with me anyway?"
Hinata, who was standing behind Neji, peered at the handwriting on the letter. "Kuya Neji, it's from Father."
Neji's attention was shifted away from the men-oriented literature. "The last time he wrote, he only asked for my current address. I wonder what he wants this time?" He read the letter's content.
"So, what did he say?" asked Tenten eagerly.
"Ah… He said that… WAIT JUST A MOMENT! Why do I need to give an account of it to you?" he demanded, keeping the letter behind him.
"Because I love to gossip?" Tenten, with a shrug.
"Well, guess what? I'm NOT telling. It is my letter!" Neji possessively tightened his grip on the stationery.
"Touchy." Tenten proceeded to clear dining table.
"Kuya Neji, what did Father say in his letter?" asked Hinata.
Her cousin's eyes narrowed at her. "What, you love to gossip as well?"
Hinata blushed. "Kuya, it's only natural that I feel concerned. Father is my kin."
"Heh. Ok, so you gossipers will be happy, Uncle just said that he already knows my address," announced Neji.
Disbelieving looks from both women.
"But I've seen four paragraphs! Don't tell me all of those were questions!" said Naruto from behind.
"So what?" Neji snapped.
"Tee-hee!" Naruto used his quick reflexes to take the letter from Neji's hand, then read it out loud. "'Neji, my nephew who is the only one in the world… how are you? How is my daughter Hinata? How is my adopted son Naruto? How is the weather? How is the gate? How is everything?'"
Neji faced Hinata, eyebrow cocked. "I see Uncle's still meticulous."
Naruto continued to read the rest of the letter. "'Anyway, don't answer me anymore. I do not care. I do not care about you. I do not care about Hinata. I do not care about Naruto. I do not give a damn about the house, and the garden, the food, the dog…'"
"Pardon my rudeness to your family member, but I think your uncle has gone nuts," commented Tenten to Neji.
"O-Oh, I'm very sorry, Miss Tenten," apologized Hinata quickly. "I'm sorry for Father…It's just that sometimes—-"
"At least now I now someone's loose bolts wasn't by coincidence. It's hereditary," added the brown-haired woman, chuckling.
"Damn you." Neji.
"'Anyway, enough eliminations…'"
"Don't you mean preliminaries?" asked Tenten.
"Comprehend it as you please," said Neji, sighing. "Uncle is a Frustrated English teacher."
"Really? I think so, too," she said, scratching her head.
"He's also a frustrated ballet dancer," informed the male Hyuuga, "and a frustrated TV Idol. Frustrated gigolo, frustrated balut vendor, frustrated singer, frustrated pilot, frustrated flight stewardess… he's very frustrated in life."
Tenten's eyes widened. "Oh… how… frustrating…"
"'Neji, your cousin had just married, and soon she would have a baby. That baby would be my grandson, and I would be his grandpa. It touches the very bottom inside me—'"
A snicker, unmistakably from Tenten.
"'-- but I am still unhappy, because of knowing the knowledge that you are alone and single in your life. That is why I, being the clan head, am ordering you to show me proof of evidence beyond unreasonable doubt that you intend to make me a grandpa of your future kids. I summarize in one question: Do you have balls?'"
Neji's face darkened.
"'Do not laugh, because I am not laughing. I am seriously serious. I will visit you soon and I will bring a fertile woman, whom you must censored, and censored, and REALLY censored, so that in nine months, you will have a kid. A kid to be my grandchild. Do you understand? If not, I will repeat. You MUST censored, and censored, and REALLY censored—'"
"Oh damn." Dark aura started to emanate from the Hyuuga.
"Your uncle has a funny way of being serious," remarked Tenten, smiling. "Get it, Neji?" she nudged his ribs with her elbow.
He grunted.
"'I am expecting a response from you, nephew. Make it soon, if not sooner, but maybe soonest will also do. Nevertheless, you can text me in this number 0917--). While at it, send me some load, ok. Your Uncle, Uncle.'"
Neji collapsed on his seat, meditating on what he had just heard.
"K-Kuya Neji, a-about Father…" Hinata seemed to hesitate, wanting to tell her cousin something.
"Heh. You want to try to talk some sense to him?" He scowled. "Your Father doesn't listen to anybody. I'll deal with this."
Tenten sat down beside him, crossing her legs. "You seem problematic. Was it because your sexuality was questioned?"
"No."
"Then what is it?" she asked. "Maybe I can help."
"Lend me 100 bucks. I need to buy Uncle some load," he replied.
Everyone watched as Neji bought some load, sent his text message, then smiled as if planning something. About what? Now that was what Tenten was dying to know. After living with the lad for so long, she had grown very much familiar of his mannerisms. And that smile he was currently wearing, was the same smile he wore everytime he would poke fun of his cousin's husband, or whenever he would play with the bees in the grass outside: first, catching it, then keeping it prisoner inside a Coke bottle, then drenching it with rubbing alcohol.
Later that night, while Tenten was cooling herself by the balcony, she felt a presence behind her. She looked back to see who it was.
"Neji, oi, what winds drove you here?" she asked, recognizing immediately the Hyuuga.
"I want to talk," he said simply.
"Talk about what? World peace?" she wanted to know. "I'm not interested with those sort of stuff, so how about if we just do that tête-à-tête some other time… like maybe, in the next lifetime?"
Neji moved beside her, ignoring what she said. Instead, he asked, "You wanted to get pigs for your chicharon right?"
"Of course," said the woman in a puzzled tone. "That's my life's work. That's my career."
"Very well." Neji looked at her, an earnest expression on his face. "The pigs are free."
Tenten gaped at him, shocked. "You set them free from their pens?"
Neji rolled his eyes. "No, what I meant was… we'll talk about that now. I'm giving you those pigs for free for your business… all of them."
Tenten's eyes widened. "Really? As in, for real? My gosh, Neji—"
"Under one condition…"
"I know," said Tenten, sighing. "There's always been one, in all the soaps I've watched. So what's on your mind?"
Neji turned his gaze at the evening skies. "I sent Uncle a message saying he doesn't need to bring a fertile woman anymore. I said…well, I said, I already have a fiancée, as beautiful as Helen of Troy, as graceful as a swan, and as refined as a member of the royal family from England."
Tenten felt her face redden. "A-ah… I'm really not as pretty as Helen… and I cannot personally claim that I'm a swan… and I'm not sure my roots came from England…"
Neji blinked. "What?"
"You're going to ask me to be your fiancée, right?" she laughed nervously.
Neji bellowed with laughter. "I'm still in my right mind, Tenten. Why in the world would I ask you to pretend to become my fiancée?" he asked. "You'll be the last person I'll ask of that. You're not any one of those three things I mentioned."
Tenten turned away, embarrassed. "From the way you explained things, that's the conclusion I came up with. Fine, I was mistaken. So what will be my role then?"
"You're the person who knows the population of Konoha," said Neji, "and I want you to find a girl that would fit the requirements: beautiful, graceful, refined…"
"So I would find you a girl that would meet all those requirements… check. Then I would get pigs for my business for free?"
"Yes," smiled Neji. "That'll be done. And if I am satisfied with your choice, you'll receive a bonus."
"You mean that?" Her eyes gleamed. "Oh, ok! How about if I ask for a house?"
"No problem."
"With a door and some windows, and a roof and a ceiling?"
"Ever heard of a house without those?"
"I was just being thorough," she defended herself. "And it can accommodate human-sized creatures?"
He frowned.
"What if you build a doghouse instead? In transacting business, we have to be very concrete." Tenten snapped her fingers, as if remembering something. "Oh yes, and it should have an Olympic-size swimming pool! Indoors."
Neji blinked, then shrugged. "Fine."
Tenten finally grinned and shook hands with him. "Deal!" She looked at him curiously. "By the way, why is your Uncle so impatient in having grandchildren? Don't tell me he's a frustrated father… or a frustrated mother?"
"He just wants to tease me," replied Neji. "He knows the thought of leaving my bachelor days is farthest from my mind right now."
"Being married also have its positive points," said Tenten. "For example you'll no longer be alone."
Neji smirked. "Heh. I'm used to being alone. When I was inside my mother's womb, I was alone. When I was in my crib, I was alone. When I was attending preparatory school—"
"OK I get it. You're a loner."
Neji wasn't quite finished with his explanation yet. "When I die and lie inside my coffin, I will be alone. I don't want to get used to have someone to lean on to. That's how people get lonely, by knowing happiness."
"You're really morbid, Neji," she complained. "You're already thinking about the end of your life, but how about the time in between your prep and coffin period? Do you still want to be alone? Don't you want to have someone to accompany you?"
"I don't want to search for something I don't know."
"But you're wasting your life. You're missing so much…"
Neji shrugged. "I don't know how much your "much" is so I don't really mind. Besides, don't try to sound so concerned."
Tenten suddenly stopped, feeling the mild teasing in his voice. "O-Ok, Good night, Neji."
Neji stopped her."Tenten, just a while, I want to ask something."
She looked at him, puzzled.
A taunting smile slowly spread on his face. "Why did you think that I would offer you to be my fiancée?"
Tenten stepped back, eyes wide, cheeks flushed. "A-Ah… N-Nothing special. As if you don't know me, I say things in random. Really." She laughed forcibly. "Good night! I need to wake up early tomorrow to start looking for the perfect girl for you. Nighty-night!" She fled, almost running towards her room as if it was a safe haven from a raging storm outside.
A storm named Neji, whose eyes were still trained on the fleeing girl. "…random, eh?" He crossed his arms. "Right."
……………………
At last a semi-sort of solid plot for our soap. What was Hinata supposed to tell Tenten? Will Tenten be able to find Neji's dream girl? And would be it in time for Hiashi's arrival? And why is our heroine affected by the Hyuuga lad? More importantly, how come there are only a few eggs inside the 10 php pugo eggs (pugo, a type of bird XD) sold at the bus station in Sierra Madre? Watch out for the answers here on the next chapter of… Chicharong Flower…