This was torture now, for Blaine. Kurt would touch his arm and tell him a piece of news he had heard that day and Blaine would have to control himself so that he wouldn't react too much to that touch. Every single time Kurt's skin met his own, it was as if his skin was burning, not in a painful way but in a way that signalled how much Blaine longed for more. Blaine wished that they could go further than just a touch of the fingertips, or the occasional playful shove. He would catch himself staring at Kurt's lips as Kurt told some interesting story that Blaine had completely missed because he was too distracted by the movement of Kurt's perfect mouth. Blaine would use every excuse he could to get close to Kurt, and even though he knew he wouldn't ever be able to let anything happen between them, he didn't think he even needed to worry about it seeing as Kurt didn't ever show any sign of sharing Blaine's feelings.

That's why Blaine was so surprised when one night, while they were sitting across from one another chatting about what everyone else was doing on their holidays, Kurt leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Blaine's lips. Kurt drew back slightly but lingered, waiting for Blaine to make a move. But Blaine just stayed still, staring at him with an expression that Kurt couldn't quite read. Then slowly, ever so slowly, Blaine closed the gap between them. As their lips came together again Kurt's right hand moved to cup Blaine's cheek and Blaine tangled his own hands in Kurt's perfect hair. Usually Kurt wouldn't let anyone touch his hair but he wasn't really thinking about anything else other than the feeling of Blaine's full lips on his own. Blaine adjusted his position, trying not to focus on how tight his pants suddenly felt and instead of the feeling of Kurt's tongue brushing against his lips. Blaine let his lips part, allowing Kurt to slip his tongue into his mouth.

Kurt didn't know where this sudden confidence had come from but he didn't care. Blaine was kissing him back and moving up against him and Kurt really couldn't think straight anyway seeing as all the blood had rushed south. He could feel Blaine's own erection pressing against him now and a small moan escaped him. With that noise Blaine began to become more forceful, more urgent and Kurt let go of him so he could take his own shirt off.

As soon as Kurt moved away, Blaine froze. He couldn't be doing this. This wasn't right. He couldn't do this to Kurt. He moved back and stood up off the bed, smoothing out his clothes and trying to fix the tangle of curls on his head. Kurt had stopped too, his mouth red and slightly swollen from the kiss and god he looked hot.

"Blaine?" Kurt questioned with a voice that was deeper than usual, a little ragged and very sexy.

"Uh, look Kurt, we can't…I can't…This can't happen."

Kurt crossed his arms. "Why not?"

"Because, it just can't okay."

"No, not okay. I know you want this Blaine," he said with a glance down at the bulge in Blaine's pants.

Blaine's eyes looked down to where his own body betrayed him before glancing at Kurt and seeing that his pants were stretched too.

Kurt saw where he was looking and was surprised at how aroused he actually was. He had kissed Blaine on impulse, but obviously his subconscious knew more than he did. Did he really feel this strongly for Blaine? That question was answered when Blaine leant forward so their faces were less than a centimetre apart. His heart rate sped up dramatically and his breathing sped up too.

"Kurt," Blaine breathed, "no matter how much I want this, it can never, ever happen."

A single tear rolled down Blaine's cheek. Why were they always crying all of a sudden? Why couldn't things go back to normal when they could smile and laugh without the constant knowledge that someday, this would all cease to exist. Kurt finally understood what people meant when they said ignorance was bliss. He had already lost one person he loved, his mother, he had come close to losing his father and now Blaine. Was this some kind of cruel trick of the universe? Must he always be losing the people he loved? But Blaine wasn't gone yet, and there was no way Kurt was letting him go without a fight.

"But Blaine I want this! You want this! We can be happy together! I never thought I'd feel this way for you but I do and I can't help that and if you say that this can't happen, that we can't be together then I don't know what I'm going to do because…because I love you."

Kurt gasped. He had gotten that all out in one breath and now he was feeling lightheaded. Meanwhile Blaine was just staring at him. He had definitely not been expecting those three little words that Kurt had just spoken with such confidence. He wasn't sure whether he should be dancing with joy or whether he should be crying. He loved Kurt too, he always had, but he had promised himself he wouldn't let this happen. It would only hurt more later on.

"You love me?" Blaine asked. He was trying to buy time so he could come up with a way to tell Kurt that he cared too much about him, and that's why they couldn't do this.

"Didn't I just say so?"

"Well yeah, but are you sure you mean it?"

"Of course I'm sure Blaine! It just took me a while to realise it."

Blaine decided he was just going to come out and say it, after all, he had nothing to lose. "Look, Kurt, I care too much about you to let you waste your time on me. You know I'm sick, and as much as I'd like to, I'm not always going to be here for you. I do love you Kurt, and that's exactly the reason we can't be boyfriends. You need someone who can look out for you."

"And who's going to look out for you?"

"I can look after myself."

"It sure didn't look like it the other day when you were hardly breathing. Do you remember that? You were lying there, groaning with pain and do you remember what you kept saying? My name, Blaine. You were whispering my name. Over and over again and it broke my heart to see you like that. And I promised myself I was never going to let you suffer like that again. I promised myself I would be there for you. So how am I supposed to do that if you won't let me?"

Blaine finally realised that Kurt really did care about him. Really did love him. Maybe it was because of that realisation, or maybe it was because he didn't want to fight anymore, but Blaine felt the need to have Kurt touching him again. So what if it hurt later on when they had to say goodbye? At least he could finally have what he had dreamed of having for so long. He could have Kurt all to himself and he didn't have to worry about holding himself back anymore. Even if it was for s short time, they could be happy.

"I love you too."

And as Blaine uttered those final words, all the tension between them dissolved and they embraced each other with tears of happiness. They were done with fighting. They were done with staying apart. Kurt didn't mind that it wasn't going to last, it would be worth it.