Author's Note #1: The process of adoption is somewhat confusing to me even with all the research I do so I am sorry if I messed that part up I just didn't know how to go about it and I wanted the process to be quick.

Chapter 3. The Directions We Take, the Choices We Make

Four months after Kate Beckett had given up her daughter, elsewhere in New York Rick Castle and Meredith Sanders were waiting in the doctor's office to find out the results of some tests. Rick had met Meredith when, unknown to him Kate was five months pregnant, and then married Meredith a month later. Meredith wasn't keen on the idea of having kids. Rick was working on his latest novel and she had many acting jobs that she was looking forward to but she also loved Richard in her own way which was why they were at the doctor's now. Castle had taken tests a week ago and everything was working the way it should.

"I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Castle, I wish I had better news," said Delilah Thorton.

Rich took Meredith's hand, "How bad is it," he asked.

"I wish you would have come in sooner, preferably when your symptoms started. The lining that is supposed to be inside your uterus is actually growing on the outside of the uterus. It acts normally but it becomes trapped so scar tissue starts to form around the surrounding tissues. It's abnormal in the sense that it binds the organs together. It's a condition called Endometriosis and as a result it can cause infertility."

"So what you're saying," said Meredith. "Is that basically I can't have kids, ever."

"I'm so sorry," said Dr. Thorton, "but there are other options: a surrogate, adoption. You don't have to give up. Good luck."

Later back at the apartment Rick sat with his laptop and Meredith was reading one of her latest scripts. Castle closed the lid and looked at his wife.

"So are we ever going to talk," he asked.

"There's nothing to talk about. I was okay with not having kids so you know maybe this is for the best don't you think?"

"You really believe that?"

Meredith placed her script down. "Don't you? I love you, kitten, but you're working on your second novel and there's a lot of roles I want to take. Can you honestly see this body going through all of those changes and me being miserable and then having a baby on my hip while I go on auditions and on set? Yuck."

"Well there are other options. It doesn't have to come from us. People adopt all the time, we can do that."

Meredith took a breath. Castle could see she was starting to get frustrated and he couldn't understand why.

"Could you really handle all of that though," Meredith asked, "The crying, the changing, the late nights?"

"Don't we all ready do that as humans anyway?"

"I have the late nights. You just cry and procrastinate over your writing."

"See, so you've all ready got the late night's down. You'll be an expert at the late night feedings and diaper changes. You wouldn't even have to breast feed though had your body not betrayed you I'm sure that would have been very attractive."

"I love you Richard-,"

"Just not enough to have kids."

"I've never wanted kids so maybe this endo-me-tree whatever is a good thing," she said getting up and placing a kiss on his head and taking the script to their room.

"Yeah for you maybe," Castle said not caring if she heard him.

The next month was a challenge for Rick and Meredith. Rick had a chapter due at the end of the week and Meredith had been chosen for a lead role in an indie film that would begin shooting at the end of the week in Italy.

"You're being ridiculous Richard," said Meredith.

"We both want different things," said Castle.

"You went ahead with the adoption without me. You're twenty-one, tell me that is not being ridiculous. Couldn't you have waited another ten years before deciding on a kid? It's a big decision."

"I know it is but I don't want to wait ten years I don't even want to wait five. What choice did I have? You don't want kids. You've made that clear every time I've brought up the subject."

"Why can't you just go with me on this," Meredith whined.

"So I want to be a dad, what's wrong with that?"

"I don't want to be a mom, what's wrong with that?"

Castle didn't answer her question, "Then make this easy on the both of us and sign the papers. You can leave tomorrow for all I care: have all the sex you want, never destroy your stick figure and my baby will be here after you leave and I'll be able to continue on with the life I want as a writer and a father."

Rick wasn't lying about the last part. After the conversation he had with Meredith when they were home from the doctor's office, he had looked into adoption on his own when Meredith thought he was writing. It wasn't easy but he had discreetly gone through all of the needed background checks. It didn't matter to him if it was a boy or a girl and it didn't have to be directly a newborn just as long as it was small enough for him to still cradle in his arms and a baby had been found for him.

Of course Meredith had gotten wind of Rick's plans and she was furious and felt betrayed. It felt like typical childish Richard doing what he wanted and not considering anyone else.

"We could still make this work," said Meredith.

"No we can't. If it wasn't this it would be something else. Meredith, sign the papers, please."

Meredith took the pen and signed the three pages.

"You're off the hook," Castle said with a smile.

"I hope you know what you're doing Richard. I hope this isn't one of your crazy ideas."

"Hey, I may not have experience with kids but what first time dad does? Trust me I know what I'm doing. Good luck on the movie."

"Good luck on the writing and…everything else."

"Okay let me see her, let me see her," Martha said squealing with delight several weeks later as her son held her new granddaughter.

Rick handed the baby over to his mother.

"Oh look at you," said Martha in a more childlike voice, "You are so cute, yes you are." She then changed her voice back to normal, "Oh Richard she's adorable. So have you decided on a name yet? We can't exactly keep calling her baby Jane."

"I was thinking of calling her Alexis. Alexis Harper."

"Alexis Harper Castle, very fitting."

"It's too bad Meredith couldn't be here."

"Oh please Richard, you're better off that woman. Trust me she would have driven you crazy or worse, cheated on you. Trust me I know her type."

"I thought you liked her."

"Since when have you needed my approval on your girlfriends? Richard, I stopped getting emotionally involved when you hit sixteen. Although-,"

"Although what?" Martha remained silent. "Mother?"

"You never told me about that other woman. You know, the one before Meredith."

"There was no other woman before Meredith."

"Oh Richard, who do you think you're talking to? I'm a professional actress. I read people's facial expressions for a living. So who was she?"

Rick took the baby from his mother. He looked at his daughter and smiled. She looked at her father with deep set eyes.

"It doesn't matter," said Rick, "She was no one."