Author's Introduction:
Disclaimer: You guys know the deal by now—Hasbro owns the rights, I'm making no money, I'm doing this for fun—so let's hope you all have fun reading.
A note to Rogue-Scholar07: Rogue, if you're still reading, it's awesome you're going to cosplay Zarana! You're going to look great. Wish I could be there to see that. *smiles.* I'm setting up my Scarlett cosplay for this fall's New York Comic Con—my college buddy and I had such fun cosplaying at last year's that we've decided to do it again this year and just reuse the costumes for Halloween, which is two weeks after the con. I cosplayed Claire Redfield of Resident Evil last year (she did a terrific Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games), but I admit that was rather easy for me (my embroiderer did most of the work) so this year I've decided to try something harder—and who better, I thought, than the coolest redhead in the service? I'd also like to extend a special thank-you to Bronwynn for encouragement and listening to me ramble on about the Joes we all know and love.
Breathless
a G.I. Joe fic by Firestar9mm
Chapter Four: Automatic Toys For Automatic Girls
This is the end of the world so it seems
I've got automatic love for automatic girl
This is the world of the end that I see
I've got automatic guns for automatic boys
Automatic toys for automatic girls
Everything keeps the right melody
I've got a couple of killing machines
Couple of killing machines
(Lola Ray, Automatic Girl)
For the second time since embarking on their ill-fated mission, Snake Eyes, Zap, Spirit, Timber and Freedom were being held prisoner by jailers who weren't old enough to legally buy alcohol.
The Joes were locked in a small abandoned generator room in the subway, far below the city streets, and it frustrated Snake Eyes to think that Scarlett and Lady Jaye could very well be walking above their heads right this very minute, and there was no way to know or to signal them. The Joes had a limited view outside their prison through a small barred window in the thick door; Spirit's obsidian gaze was scanning the area beyond the room intensely, waiting for any chance to turn the tide in their favor. Freedom perched patiently on the tall tracker's shoulder , careful not to snag his talons on one of Spirit's heavy, dark braids. Zap, the most impatient of the captured Joes, was leaning against the door, staring through the bars as though he'd try to push his way out into the room. Snake Eyes himself hung towards the back of their improvised cell, wanting time to react should an opportunity arise for action. Timber sat at his feet, waiting but wary; a growl trickled out of the wolf's jaws as he sensed movement beyond the bars.
The three teenaged gang members crowded around the door, each holding a laser pistol, ready to cook anybody who twitched.
That was another reason Snake Eyes was inclined not to make himself an easy target by keeping close to the cell door. The gang members were not trained in these weapons, and he'd seen already how volatile and unpredictable they could be—Pilar had thrown a grenade in a subway tunnel with absolutely no regard for a possible cave-in or for the safety of her friends, and she'd tackled him to the ground in the path of a subway train and nearly gotten them both killed. Likewise, the two boys flanking her had destroyed a wooden platform in the park and carelessly sent shrapnel flying into the crowd, swinging flail chains around with abandon. These kids were jumpy and they were looking for an excuse; no need to give them one just yet.
Snake Eyes had the feeling that the Joes were still better off with the weapons in the hands of the gang members rather than the Dreadnoks; as soon as they'd locked up their prisoners, the lazy mercenaries had predictably handed all responsibility off to the kids and kicked back to gloat about their assumed victory. The three bikers lounged on the now-defunct generators' metal housings without paying any more attention to their captives, and it annoyed the commando that the Dreadnoks had already written the Joes off as beaten. He made a mental note to take that out of their hides later, on principal.
Before Snake Eyes could lapse too far into a fantasy of beating some respect into the Dreadnoks, footsteps heralded the arrival of yet more Cobra soldiers, and as soon as Snake saw who it was, every muscle tensed and adrenaline spiked through his blood.
Storm Shadow walked calmly towards the group of mercenaries, his white uniform shining through the underground gloom, a troop of red-suited Crimson Guards at his back. In an odd moment of solidarity with their captives, the Dreadnoks didn't look happy to see him. "'Ello, what's this?" Buzzer sneered. "Reinforcements, now that the battle's over?"
Storm Shadow's voice was as calm as ever; he gave no sign that he acknowledged the insult. "Not until you have read this message," he responded, holding a white envelope out towards the blond Dreadnok, but Buzzer shrugged irritably and turned rudely away from the Cobra ninja instead of taking it.
"Pfft," he muttered. "'As Cobra hired you as a delivery boy, now? Why'nt you just tell us wot it says?"
That was too much for Storm Shadow; his eyes, the only part of his face visible through the opening in his mask, hardened to gray agate, the muscles around them tightening almost imperceptibly. A casual observer would not notice a change, but being well-versed in both discipline and wearing masks, it was clear to Snake Eyes that the other ninja commando was visibly leashing his temper.
Holding up the note, Storm Shadow tossed it gently into the air above his head, where it caught the slight breeze running through the subway tunnel. Unsheathing the katana from the scabbard on his back with a metallic snick, the white-garbed ninja sliced the air with two quick strikes, one across, one down. The envelope, now in two pieces, floated down to the tunnel floor while Storm Shadow reached out to take the message, which was still intact. While it might have been lost on the Dreadnoks, the message was clear to anyone with half a brain—I can do that to your face if I wish.
Despite himself, Snake Eyes smirked behind his mask. Show-off.
Storm Shadow unfolded the message with an abrupt, irritated flick of his wrist, and began to read. "To ensure victory, the final rally will include some special fireworks developed by Firefly. The plan is going well. Take care not to fail. Zartan."
Snake Eyes' teeth clicked together in reaction to this news. He didn't bother signing, not wanting to alarm his fellow Joes, but they were thinking along the same lines—"I said, this ain't gonna be nothin', Duke," Zap groused, just above a whisper. "I said, piece of cake. Now we got Storm Shadow, Firefly…"
…Bobby Maxwell, Colonel Dietrich and Colonel Kurtz, Snake Eyes finished mentally with a roll of his eyes. Why don't they just bring in Darth Vader to bat cleanup?
"Rubbish!" Buzzer, who clearly had no concept of what would put his life in danger, snatched the note out of Storm Shadow's hand, and it was almost worth it to see someone get the better of the white-clad ninja for a second. Crumpling the note while Storm Shadow blinked in outrage, Buzzer seized the Cobra commando's supply bag and rifled through it. Coming up with a roll of money, he waved it at Storm Shadow before dividing it amongst himself, Ripper and Torch, declaring, "This 'ere's the only insurance against failure!"
Walking over to the three gang members, Buzzer gave them each a much smaller share of the cash, although judging by the way the kids' eyes lit up at the sight of the money, Snake Eyes was sure they hadn't noticed. "Tonight's the big night," Buzzer said to the kids, his voice oozing with false cheer. "So 'ere, take off an' get some rest!"
Shouts of delight could be heard from the gang members as they huddled to compare their spoils. "Hey! Come on! Let's party!" the kid named Rick cheered, and his cohorts followed him down the subway tunnel, presumably towards a street exit.
Before Snake Eyes could process that the Dreadnoks would be back in charge, they handed responsibility off once more—this time to the Crimson Guards. "We're gonna take off too," Ripper announced, hopping off the generator housing and striding towards where Buzzer waited. "You guys watch them Joes. Make sure they stay put!"
Torch chuckled, following his fellow Dreadnok out with a jingle of chains. "Not that they're goin' anywhere, moind you!"
Storm Shadow wasn't keen on sticking around, either—turning towards the Siegies, he declared, "Failure will be costly!" and strode off in the direction the others had gone, his posture ramrod-straight as he departed the tunnel.
Each Joe in the cell snapped to attention when they heard all this unfold; even Timber's ears pricked up. A changing of the guard could mean an opportunity for escape, and the odds had increased considerably in their favor—dealing with six Crimson Guards was a damn sight better than facing down six Crimson Guards, a ninja, three bikers and a street gang.
Snake Eyes smiled behind his mask. Things were looking up.
It didn't take Lady Jaye and Scarlett long to figure out where they should head next. The two Joes each took a side of the street and began systematically working their way down the shops, purchasing something small in each—a newspaper, a cup of coffee—and striking up a conversation with whoever was ringing them up. By the time they met up again at the end of the block, Scarlett had a sixteen-ounce bottle of Coca-Cola, a lottery ticket, a bottle of aspirin and the descriptions of a few of the major troublemakers in town; Lady Jaye had a copy of Vogue, a cup of coffee, a lipstick, and the cross streets where the gangs tended to congregate after they were done with the day's mayhem.
"Nice work," Jaye said, downing the rest of the coffee and crushing the cup in her hand before tossing it and the copy of Vogue into the nearest trash bin—she'd already read this month's issue, anyway. The lipstick she pocketed; couldn't hurt to keep that, she thought amusedly. "Hang on to that aspirin, Scarlett—I have a feeling we're going to need it before this op is over."
"I need it already," Scarlett laughed as she pitched the now nearly-empty Coke bottle into the trash can on top of Jaye's discarded magazine, and the two women began heading in the direction Jaye had been given by the guy who ran the newsstand. "If what the pharmacist told me is true, we may have already seen some of these gang leaders today. Apparently the kid who leads the Fugitives hangs around a lot with a girl who runs another gang—he said they're always doing their Mutt and Jeff act around here. She's the brains, and he's the muscle—the pharmacist says she's the one to watch out for. His description of them sounds a lot like the kids we ran into in the park today, the ones on the motorcycles."
"If any of these punks had any brains, they wouldn't be working for Cobra!" Lady Jaye said. "O.K., I think we turn left here."
After a few blocks, it became evident that they were heading in the right direction—loud rock music bounced off the sides of buildings and the streets became more crowded. Lady Jaye and Scarlett followed the noise pollution down a side street and discovered a sizeable group of young people camped out in clusters all over the block, some lounging on stoops, others huddled around boom boxes. Some were dancing—one boy was executing a barrel spin on the hood of a car parked near the avenue; another was in the center of a circle of clapping youths, demonstrating his moonwalk. Every group of kids with a stereo had the music cranked up to a teeth-rattling volume.
"You're right," Scarlett said to Lady Jaye, shaking the bottle of aspirin. "I'm glad I kept this."
Lady Jaye nodded, her mouth set in a grim line as the throbbing beat assaulted her exhausted senses. "Save me some."
After twenty minutes of getting stonewalled talking to whoever stood still long enough to listen to them, the two Joes were beyond frustrated. "O.K., forget what I said about it being easy to get anyone to listen to us," Scarlett said, drawing her crossbow. "I'm ready to start threatening people. Jaye?"
Lady Jaye was busy arguing with a breakdancer who'd paused his routine purely out of curiosity about the two women in the strange getups who'd crashed their party. "We need a meeting with the gang leaders," Jaye pressed. "It's imperative. Life and death," she emphasized, but it did little to ruffle the placid dancer.
"Whose life and death?" he asked blithely, toprocking to the beat thumping from the stereo at the curb. "Not mine."
Lady Jaye clawed her hands in frustration, and Scarlett, imagining the citizen's complaint forms flying in to Hawk's office, stepped quickly in front of her to block. Luckily, before Jaye could vent her spleen on the irritating breakdancer, a small voice piped up from the stoop they were standing in front of. "I know one of the gang leaders."
The two Joes turned to see a small, slight, dark-haired boy get up from his seat on the stoop. He was wearing torn jeans, a pair of less-than-reputable tennis shoes and a camouflage t-shirt that was too big for him; he'd tucked it into his jeans but it billowed out over his belt. When he smiled, his teeth flashed white in his tanned face.
"Who are you?" Scarlett demanded, blue eyes suspicious.
"Who cares who he is?" Lady Jaye said. Night had fallen around them while they were getting nowhere questioning civilians; they hadn't seen or heard from their missing comrades in hours. But the mission was first and foremost, and there was a Cobra plot afoot that had to be stopped before they could even begin looking for the lost Joes. Any lead, even if it came from a little kid, was worth pursuing at this point. "Take us to him," she ordered sternly, stepping towards the boy, but the kid gave no ground—not surprising, when the sight of their weapons hadn't intimidated him. Blinking, Jaye realized that it gave credence to the idea of him running with the gangs.
"Her," the boy corrected her sharply. "And what do I get if I help you? I've got my future to think of! I'm ten already!"
Lady Jaye was in no mood to haggle. Letting her hands drift down to her belt like a gunslinger, she narrowed her eyes and gave him her best Clint Eastwood growl. "Wanna see eleven, kid?"
Surprisingly, the kid rocked back on his heels and laughed. "You're tough," he said appreciatively. "O.K. Twenty bucks and I'll take you to Pilar Vasquez. But first I gotta know what you want with her."
It was easy for someone like Lady Jaye to look patient next to Scarlett—the redhead had a well-known reputation among G.I. Joe for being a hothead and it wasn't just due to her hair color. But it would have been foolish to assume Jaye wasn't just as much of a powderkeg just because she had a long, slow-burning fuse. This kid had reached the end of it. Eyes on fire, the corporal stepped into the kid again, hand curling into a claw to grab him by the collar. "Why you little—"
Scarlett put a soothing hand on Jaye's shoulder, holding her gently back. While she wasn't often called upon to be the diplomat, she was just as worried about their missing comrades as Lady Jaye was, and fighting with a ten-year-old would get them nowhere.
"She's my sister!" the kid protested. "I gotta look out for her! Let me hold your weapons until after the meeting."
Lady Jaye shook her head. "That's out of the question. We'll find her ourselves."
The smug look returned to the boy's face; he knew he had them over a barrel. "I guess you could try…"
Scarlett sighed, drawing a twenty-dollar bill like magic from somewhere behind her breastplate. "Right. And maybe we'd find her sometime before the next election." Shaking her head, she added, "We've already had enough trouble for one day. If we keep going the way we've been, we're going to get lost or killed. There's no choice, Lady Jaye."
Reluctantly, the two Joes relinquished Scarlett's crossbow and bolts along with Lady Jaye's javelins and knife. The kid's grin nearly split his face as he pocketed the twenty and shouldered their quivers, brandishing Scarlett's crossbow. "Pleasure doing business with you, ladies!"
"Yeah, and the pleasure's all yours," Lady Jaye said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, which only made the kid laugh harder.
"Right this way!"
"It better be," Lady Jaye snarled as she and Scarlett began to follow the pint-sized punk down the block.
Scarlett smiled encouragingly at Lady Jaye. "Tell you what. If this kid leads us on a wild goose chase, I'll hold him down and you can punch him."
Despite herself, Jaye grinned. "Deal." It was worth noting that the kid cast a wary glance over his shoulder when he heard that, and while he hid it quickly, he put a little more distance between himself and the Joes.
"You know, I distinctly remember us thinking this detail was going to be a big joke," Scarlett remarked as they passed by a closed shop whose metal shutter had colorful graffiti all over it. "Now Cobra's on the scene, and we're following a tween."
"Car 54, where are you?" Lady Jaye quipped, and the Joes shared a smile.
Their destination ended up being a small, well-lit shop off the side street. It had a large front window with bright painted letters advertising candy and a soda fountain. A pair of neat flowerboxes were below the window; the happy-colored flowers were well taken care of. "Right in here, ladies," the kid said grandly, the little bell over the door jingling to announce their arrival. "Take good care of 'em, Mama," the kid instructed a plump older woman behind the counter. "I'll be right out." He strode through a door on the opposite side of the room and shut it behind him.
Lady Jaye and Scarlett exchanged glances. Whatever they had been expecting, Jaye thought, this shop was not it. The place was immaculate; the tabletops and counter were made of Formica, likely because it was easy to clean; the stools and chairs were upholstered in vinyl. The jars on the shelves and behind the counter were full of brightly-colored candy—licorice whips, jellybeans, peppermint sticks, taffy. A fan spun lazily overhead.
The round little woman behind the counter had a prematurely aged face; worry had deepened the lines around her forehead and mouth, but her dark eyes were bright and alert. Her glossy dark hair lay on her shoulders, a little tangled as though she'd been rushing around for the day; her hands were rough. This was a woman who worked hard for her living, which only confused Lady Jaye more—the kid had called her "Mama", and had said that the gang leader Pilar was his sister. How had the children of a woman with a reputable local business ended up running with street gangs?
The two Joes and the shop owner regarded each other uncomfortably for a long moment. Finally the woman's face crumpled in worry. "Have you come to arrest my Pilar?"
"We're not police, Mrs. Vasquez," Scarlett soothed.
Mrs. Vasquez seemed to fold in on herself. "She's really a good girl, deep down," she assured them tiredly, as though she'd been saying it for a very long time. "Sometimes so deep you can't find it, though."
Before Lady Jaye or Scarlett could say anything comforting, shouts were heard from the adjoining room, the kid's pre-pubescent vocal chords cracking in indignation. "But Pilar, they paid money!"
"Money you had no right to take!" The door opened and a Valkyrie of a teenager stormed into the shop, Scarlett's crossbow in her hand. She wore sandals, pegged pants and a cropped t-shirt, and her short hair was cut very close to her head, leaving a pretty face open and clean. Gold jewelry sparkled at her ears and wrist. Her face was an adolescent copy of her mother's, but her expression was far fiercer; she marched right up to the two Joes with a challenging look on her face, as if she expected them both to charge her at any second.
"Pilar Vasquez, I presume," Scarlett murmured.
"My brother Tito says you paid to talk to me," she said imperiously, drawing herself up to her full height. "Talk fast!"
Lady Jaye was ready with the same bravado that had earlier impressed the young Tito, stabbing the air between them with her index finger. "O.K., sister, how's this? You and your gang have been had. Cobra's using you to help Harper get elected. And once Harper's in, you and your pals get the royal dump—right into jail." Spearing the younger woman with a ferocious gaze, Jaye finished, "Is that fast enough?"
Scarlett hid a smile, but Pilar was not impressed by this display of machismo. "You lie," she hissed.
Oddly, it was Mrs. Vasquez who interrupted. "How do you know? Please, listen for once, Pilar!" she begged her daughter.
Unfortunately, Pilar's dark eyes were hardening as she convinced herself of the scenario she found most acceptable. "Cobra protects us, gives us money!" she insisted. "You want to take it away—that's all! Why…why should I believe you?" Brandishing a roll of bills she took from her pocket, she waved it at the two Joes. "This I can believe!"
Lady Jaye and Scarlett exchanged glances, unsure of how to proceed, but before either could do anything, the door to the adjoining room opened again and four red-jacketed gang members came striding into the room, faces belligerent beneath their greased-back hair. "I think this little conversation's gone on long enough!" one of them declared, and the four toughs advanced on the two unarmed Joes.
Mrs. Vasquez clasped her hands to her mouth. "Oh! Oh, no," she lamented, then ducked behind the countertop almost reflexively, as though she'd had a lot of practice taking cover in her own shop.
Lady Jaye fought a wild urge to laugh—it was just too ridiculous, with the four teens marching ominously across the room in their matching outfits like Sharks and Jets, looking like they were about to break into song and leap into a choreographed fight sequence with the friendly candy jars as a backdrop. But the danger the Joes were about to be in was nothing to laugh about; it was the rooftop all over again. Unarmed, unable to use excessive force on civilian children, and with nowhere to run, Jaye and Scarlett found themselves backing up, simultaneously hopping up onto the table near the front window rather than allow any of the youths to seize them.
That was just fine with the gang members. They simply exchanged glances and reached out—not for either Joe, but for the table. Lifting it in a team effort, they tipped both table and Joes backward, and for the second time that day Lady Jaye found herself falling through a window in a rain of broken glass. This landing wasn't as lucky as the first; shards of window and bits of gravel tore her exposed arms as she rolled across the pavement, Scarlett a bright pinwheel at the corner of her vision. The redhead hissed in a breath, pausing to yank a piece of glass out of a shallow cut on her shoulder, and that gave the gang members the precious few seconds they needed to leap through the broken window and press their advantage. One of the toughs pounced on Scarlett from behind, riding her down and fisting one hand in her hair. Lady Jaye had just enough time to see him press Scarlett's cheek against the concrete before her own attempt to trench-crawl toward her friend was stalled by a motorcycle boot to the stomach.
Coughing, Lady Jaye curled up reflexively, shielding her face and trying to relearn how to breathe, but another kick to her back had stars blinking behind her closed eyes.
"Leave her alone, you cowards," Scarlett challenged from somewhere beyond the pain. "Is your big tough leader too scared to do her own dirty work?"
The two boys who were on Lady Jaye left off kicking her, although one kept a boot pressed to the back of her neck to remind her of his presence. The other knelt clumsily by Scarlett's side and delivered a vicious jab to the face that made Jaye wince.
"Enough!" Pilar had clearly heard Scarlett insult her; now she strode out of the candy shop with the redhead's crossbow in her hand and murder in her eyes. The four boys gave her ground, one each on Scarlett and Lady Jaye; they held the Joes down as Pilar aimed the crossbow. Luckily, her shaky stance revealed her total unfamiliarity with the weapon; with any luck, she'd miss and give the Joes a chance to regain their feet.
"I'll finish this," Pilar announced importantly, sighting down on Scarlett, who responded by defiantly spitting blood at the gang leader. Lady Jaye let out a shaky breath, fixing her gaze determinedly on her friend—if Scarlett was brave enough to spit in the face of her own death, then damn it, Jaye was going to be brave enough not to look away.
The wind kicked up, ruffling Lady Jaye's short hair and whipping Scarlett's ponytail against the pavement, but it wasn't just a cross breeze—the sound of metal blades distracted Pilar and drew everyone's attention skyward. A heavily armored G.I. Joe Dragonfly was descending from the night sky like an avenging angel, hovering close enough that Lady Jaye could see their rescuers through the smeary canopy glass—Wild Bill and Quick Kick.
"Let's get out of here!" one of the red-jacketed gang members shouted, and they quickly turned tail and disappeared down the street. Looking around and realizing the odds had evened, Pilar panicked, dropping Scarlett's crossbow and grabbing her little brother by his scruff.
"Hey!" Tito yelped, Lady Jaye's quiver of javelins falling from his hands.
"Come on, hurry!" Pilar snapped, hauling Tito down the block and ducking into an alley.
Lady Jaye closed her eyes briefly, breathing a quick prayer of thanks. "Just in the nick of time," she said.
"No kidding." Scarlett rolled smoothly to a sitting position, reaching eagerly for her crossbow like it was a favorite toy. The relief in her face at having her weapon back in her hands was evident, offsetting the unsettling sight of her wounded mouth, lips cherry-bright with her own blood.
"You all right?" Lady Jaye asked, getting to her feet and dusting off her fatigue pants before reaching to help Scarlett up.
The redhead accepted the hand and let Jaye haul her to her feet. "Yeah. It looks worse than it is. What about you? Anything broken?"
Jaye took a breath, which only hurt a little. "Don't think so, but thanks for trying to distract them."
Scarlett snorted. "You're welcome, for all the good it did. All it would have bought you was thirty more seconds." She frowned as the downdraft from the Dragonfly's propeller sent her red tail of hair streaming behind her like a flag. "It's too bad we have to keep pulling our punches with these punks," she groused, turning a filthy look back towards the shop. "That brat would have shot me with my own weapon. And I'd have died, all right—of embarrassment!"
"Well, don't forget, they're just kids." Lady Jaye smiled wryly. "And to be fair, I wasn't too keen on getting shot with your weapon, either!"
"You're one tough broad, Lady Jaye," the redhead chuckled. "Come on, let's go thank our heroes."
"Well, howdy, ladies!" Wild Bill said, popping the canopy to the Dragonfly and sweeping his cowboy hat off gallantly. "It looks like yer havin' quite the interestin' night!"
"You ain't just whistlin' Dixie, Wild Bill," Scarlett agreed cheerfully. "Thanks for the rescue."
"Thank Duke," Quick Kick said. "He figured something went south when you two weren't answering your radios. What'd you do, lose 'em?"
Reflexively, Lady Jaye and Scarlett each checked for their communications equipment, blinking when they realized their radios were gone. "I left my headset with the bikes," Scarlett realized, putting her fingers through the empty loop on her belt. "We had to pursue on foot, and I must have lost my handset when we went through the window."
"Window?" Quick Kick asked, brow creasing.
"Or when we, you know, fell off the skyscraper." Lady Jaye said this with an eyeroll. "I'll bet mine ended up in the dumpster with Tomax and Xamot."
Wild Bill's brows disappeared almost into his hat. "You ladies have been busy today."
"You don't even know the half of it," Lady Jaye sighed, getting into the back of the Dragonfly next to Quick Kick. "Oh, my aching ribs."
"Breaker couldn't get a hold of Zap or Snake Eyes or Spirit either," Quick Kick continued. "They're off the radar completely, and for whatever reason, their radios aren't working. Duke didn't like the sound of it, so he sent us in on a search-and-rescue. Would have come himself, but Hawk's got him in meetings with D.I. about some project they want the unit's help with."
"Domestic Intelligence?" Scarlett said, looking puzzled as she climbed into the Dragonfly beside Wild Bill. "What's the project?"
Quick Kick shrugged, a fluid movement of his bare shoulders. "The scuttlebutt around the Pit is that Cobra's trying to recruit soldiers with extrasensory powers, so D.I. wants G.I. Joe to have a counterforce ready. Duke thinks the whole thing's a bunch of bunk, and he's not keen on the fact that some of the test subjects are civilians, but when Hawk says jump, Duke's got to say 'on who?'"
Scarlett laughed. "Well, Duke was psychic enough to know we needed a hand here. Thank him for us, won't you?"
"We'll do better than that, we'll bring you back home and you can thank him yerself!" Wild Bill chuckled.
"Not just yet," Lady Jaye said, putting a hand on Wild Bill's shoulder. "Take us up, cowboy. We've still got three Joes, a bird and a wolf among the missing!"
Timber was pacing their makeshift cell like it was a cage at the zoo; Snake Eyes had attempted to calm his furry friend earlier, but eventually let him have his way; he didn't blame the wolf for feeling restless. He felt like they'd been in the cell for hours; all that was missing was some bad clichéd harmonica music.
Zap had found a way to pass the time; he was at the small barred window, taunting the Crimson Guards. They were lined up with their backs to the door, as though protecting the cell from an attack from the outside rather than treating the captive Joes as a danger. After an accusation of their parentage being in question and a colorful list of all the things he'd wished they'd do to themselves, Zap had moved on to mocking their business operations. "You Cobras aren't ambitious enough," the artillery expert accused. "Why limit yourself to fixing elections? Why not the World Series, too?"
One of the Siegies had finally had enough; he broke formation and strode angrily towards the cell door, thrusting his laser rifle clumsily through the bars. "Silence!" he roared. "Got that?"
Luckily for the Joes, Timber had been on his fifty-second trip around their tiny prison; he was in perfect position to leap up and seize the muzzle of the rifle in his mighty jaws. Letting gravity pull for him, he landed, and the guard leaned further through the bars to try and hang on to his weapon. Spirit was ready to lend a hand, grabbing the barrel of the rifle; a brief struggle ensued as the two men grappled for the weapon. The rifle turned skyward as the guard leaned back with all his weight and the weapon spoke, firing into the ceiling. The report seemed to shake the entire tunnel, leaving a flash and the smell of ozone to mark its passing.
The rest of the Siegies had turned their rifles onto the cell, but Spirit wasn't about to make it easy for them; he'd locked one muscular arm around the first guard's neck in a choke hold, jerking him back against the bars. The guard was almost off the ground, feet scrabbling for purchase; he flung one hand out in desperate supplication to his fellow guards as they sighted down on the cell door. Inside the cell, Spirit hugged the wall, taking as much cover as possible while using the guard as a shield.
"N-no!" the captive guard choked out. "Don't shoot!"
One guard began squeezing down on his trigger, but the shot never came—the walls of the tunnel echoed with the sweetest words the captives had heard all day—"Yo Joe!"
At the sound of the voices, Snake Eyes and Zap rushed to the window and saw a most welcome sight—Lady Jaye, Quick Kick and Scarlett had pried open a grating at street level and leaped into the tunnel, surprising the Crimson Guards. Jaye drew a javelin from her quiver and flung it, the weapon falling just short of where the guards were clustered. She hadn't missed her target, however—the flashpacket rigged to the javelin exploded on impact, temporarily blinding the guards and sending them scattering like panicked rabbits.
Spirit tightened his hold on the guard he held captive until the hands scratching at his forearm grew weaker; when he was sure his prisoner was desperate for oxygen, he released the guard and watched him slump dazedly to the floor.
The remaining Crimson Guards began firing at Lady Jaye, Quick Kick and Scarlett. Quick Kick simply leaped out of the way of the bolts aimed at him, turning his fall into a smooth shoulder roll. Without even bothering to straighten up, he swung one leg around in a sweep and knocked one Siegie's feet out from under him; the guard's rifle slid to a corner of the tunnel as he lay stunned, sitting in his own surprise.
Scarlett had jumped backwards instead, her strong legs carrying her over the shots fired at her. Using the wall as a springboard, she launched herself at the guards and aimed her crossbow, sending a bolt right through the hand of the guard shooting at her. With a strangled cry of pain, the guard stopped shooting and began waving his arm clumsily, comically unable to release the now-useless weapon that the bolt had pinned to his hand.
"Bullseye!" Scarlett crowed, one eye winking above a bloodthirsty grin. "Guess you're…um…wait, I had something for this." The redhead frowned, dropping her crossbow to her side as she struggled for a zinger, then shook her head and decided there were more pressing matters at hand.
While Scarlett and Quick Kick dealt with the guards, Jaye drew another javelin and aimed at the cell door. "Fire in the hole!" she called out, and Zap, Spirit and Snake Eyes backed up towards the far wall, keeping the animals out of blast range. Another javelin struck the latch on the locked door, the impact triggering another flashpacket rigged to the speartip; the concussion made short work of the lock and the door swung open.
Snake Eyes wasn't able to join his friends in their battle cry vocally, but he certainly joined in spirit as they burst out of the cell. "Yo Joe!"
Timber looked almost wild to be out of the tiny cage; he pounced fiercely on the nearest Crimson Guard with a growl, knocking him down. The Siegie's laser rifle dropped out of his hands and went off, the blast taking out one of the load-bearing concrete poles and reducing it to dust. The other guards ducked out of the way of the falling rubble.
"That's enough for me!" the shaky guard declared as he scooted away from the bristling wolf in a most undignified manner. As soon as he could scramble to his feet, he was sprinting down the tunnel away from the battle. Realizing they were outnumbered, the remaining guards quickly joined him, turning tail and fleeing as fast as their feet could carry them. Timber snarled and began to give chase, but Lady Jaye hurried to the wolf's side, staying him with a gentle hand.
"Let them go, Timber," she said wearily. "Let them all go."
Timber snuffled and whined, clearly disappointed at not being able to exact his revenge on the guards, but he quieted and accepted the pat Lady Jaye gave him, circling his Joes to make sure they were all in one piece before making his way back to his master.
Snake Eyes also gave the wolf a comforting pat for a job well done, then turned to Scarlett and pointed at her, then chopping the air perpendicular to his upraised palm. {You're all right.}
Scarlett grinned. "Yeah, we'll live. You?"
Snake touched his fingers to his mouth, then let his hand move down, displaying his palm. {Good.} He curled his hands up at chest level, knuckles touching, then turned them over before spreading his fingers and waving his hands back and forth at his waist. Pointing against at Scarlett, he plucked at the air with his index finger and thumb, then indicated himself, Zap, Spirit, Timber and Freedom with a wave of his hand. {How did you find us?}
Scarlett pointed towards the still-smoking crater in the ceiling, left when Spirit and the guard had grappled for the laser rifle. "Your little fireworks display was a big help," she said with a smile. "We do manage to catch on when a clue stands up and starts tap-dancing." She turned her head towards the cell, where the last guard was regaining his senses. Putting a hand on Snake Eyes' shoulder, she indicated the rest of the group with a flick of her head. "Let's go lend a hand. We'll talk later, when we're not dead."
Shaking his head, Snake Eyes smiled behind his mask and followed her to where Zap, Spirit and Lady Jaye had surrounded the guard. Breaking through the group, he pointed first to himself, then strode to where the guard lay and helped him to his feet—then off his feet, seizing the man's collar and lifting him clear off the ground. The terrified guard struggled, but the commando had a grip like steel, his free hand curling into a fist and cocking in a fighting stance.
Zap took the helm, his voice dripping with venom as he threatened their captive. "My friend here is a man of action, not words," he said ominously. "So you'd better talk to me before he twists you into the world's first snake-flavored pretzel!"
The guard's eyes were the wide, jumpy eyes of a trapped animal, but he said nothing.
"I want the plan for Cobra's final assault," Zap said, but the guard remained silent. "Snake, please convince him," Zap entreated politely, his tone while speaking to the commando contrasting comically with his harsh berating of the guard. Snake Eyes was happy to oblige by slamming the unlucky Siegie back against the wall—hard. The guard wheezed, the breath knocked out of him, his eyes going glassy behind his visor. "Talk!" Zap demanded.
Panting, the guard relented. "P…political rally," he wheezed. "At the…pier! Blow up the whole…wharf!" he gasped, and then his eyes rolled back in his head and he dangled limply from Snake Eyes' fist, unconscious. The commando dropped the guard in an undignified heap, where he lay against the wall of the now-empty cell.
"Whoa, Snake," Scarlett said appreciatively. "I think you convinced him a little too hard!"
Snake Eyes curled his hand into a fist, thumb raised and knuckles up, then circled it over his chest. {Sorry.} After a few seconds, he threw his hands up to the side in a sort of shrug, wiggling his fingers, then shook his head. Pointing to himself, he put his fist under his chin, then drew it slightly out towards his friends, thumb extended. {Wait…no, I'm not.}
The assembled Joes, for the first time all day, indulged in a good laugh.
Author's Notes:
On literacy: In the episode Cobra's Candidate, when Storm Shadow brings the note to the Dreadnoks, Buzzer refuses to take it, saying, "Aw, come on, mate, Cobra Commander knows I can't read." Obviously this is supposed to be a joke (and I admit it does make me laugh when I watch it), but I've taken the liberty of changing the line because in comic canon, Buzzer is in fact probably the smartest Dreadnok—he was a sociologist, for crying out loud. He may be careless, but he's not illiterate.
On bad guys: When Zap is griping about all the bad guys who are trooping in to make the odds against them worse, Snake Eyes mentally adds the names of three fictional baddies (one a domestic terrorist like the gang members, the other two corrupt military men like the Cobras) as a joke to himself—Bobby Maxwell from The Enforcer (1977), Colonel Dietrich from Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) and Colonel William Kurtz from Apocalypse Now (1979). I shouldn't have to explain the Darth Vader reference—if you don't know the Dark Lord of the Sith, shame on you. *winks.*
Mutt and Jeff: Mutt and Jeff was a newspaper comic that began in 1907 and ran for half a century. It was about a tall, gangly gambler and his pint-sized cohort and their get-rick-quick schemes—but you might hear the term used to describe any duo that consists of a big person and a small person.
"Car 54, where are you?": Car 54, Where Are You? was a sitcom about two NYPD officers who got into hijinks in their patrol car in my beloved city of New York, specifically in the Bronx, where I didn't grow up, but lots of my large Irish family did. Car 54 ran on NBC in the early 60's. Its theme song was corny and catchy, and rhymed in the cadence of the quips tossed back and forth by Scarlett and Jaye in this chapter.
Domestic Intelligence: When Quick Kick is explaining how Duke sent them in on the search-and-rescue (an artistic liberty I took; it's never explained why Wild Bill and Quick Kick miraculously show up when Lady Jaye and Scarlett are in trouble…you can only cram so much exposition into a twenty-four minute episode I guess), a reference is made to another Sunbow G.I. Joe episode, Operation Mind Menace.
"Wait, I had something for this": Scarlett trying to come up with a witty remark while fighting (and subsequently failing) is anachronistic—she's quoting an oft-repeated line from my latest favorite animated series, FX's raunchy and hilarious Archer.
Next chapter: Things come to a head as both the gang and the Joes crash Harper's rally down at the wharf. Let's all just be glad Firefly and Michael Bay never had occasion to meet each other.