A/N: I don't own iCarly. This chapter might be a little weird, but I have a plan and I'm hoping it turns out alright. Thanks for the reviews! I feels awesome to know that someone actually took the time to read it, and didn't hate it.

Chapter 4

On the Fire Escape

CPOV

After the web cast had finally ended, I let out the breath that I had been unconsciously holding the whole time. I hoped that my game face would be enough for the viewers. I prayed that I could fool them better than I was fooling Freddie. Every time I looked at him, I could see the concern in his eyes, written across his face. Sam as usual was oblivious to anything that wasn't dealing with food. I made up my mind then and there to ask Freddie if we could talk later. He agreed, and ran downstairs to check if it was raining or not. I really wanted to use the fire escape, because no one would bother us there. As I waited for Freddie to come back, I sank down onto my bean bag chair, and let my mind begin to wrap around everything that had happened that day. I stared out the window until I heard my phone buzzing on the floor beside me. I had a text from Freddie saying that it wasn't raining anymore, and that he would meet me on the fire escape in fifteen minutes. His text confused me a little because I wasn't sure what he would need fifteen minutes for, but I let it go. I used my fifteen minutes to stare out the window some more, trying to organize my mind, about everything that I wanted to tell Freddie. I must have really been out of it, because I heard a knock on the studio door, and looked up to see Freddie standing there. I got up off my bean bag, and walked over to him. He wrapped his arms around me, something that surprised me, because lately he hadn't been acting that way.

"Hey," he said, in the same soft voice that he always used when I was upset. It had a way of calming me down, even when I was on the verge of insanity, as I was now.

"Hi..." I started, looking down at my feet. "I'm sorry that I'm late, I was just thinking about..." Freddie cut me off.

"It's okay Carls, I can see you've got a lot going on in that head of yours. Let's go talk."

The two of us walked down the stairs and out to the fire escape. Freddie held the door for me, like the true gentleman he was. I knew that one day he was going to make some lucky girl very happy. When I was on the fire escape, I turned around to face him. He was turned away from me, shutting the door, and I noticed a backpack slung over his shoulder that I hadn't noticed before. I must have been a lot more out of it than I thought.

"What's up with the backpack?"

"Well, I figured that it was going to be pretty cold and wet outside, so I grabbed some blankets, and I made some hot chocolate. I figured we'd be out here for awhile, since you never shut up." He was making fun of me, and I couldn't help but smile. Just another one of his amazing qualities. He could always make me smile, no matter how bad things seemed.

FPOV

I had made her smile. Even though it was just a small smile, this time it had reached her eyes. When she smiled like that, it made me realize just how much she meant to me, and how beautiful she really was. It also gave me a little burst of confidence that I had been the one to put it there.

"I'm glad you're smiling," I told her, and I truly meant it.

I unzipped my backpack, laid one blanket out on the floor of the fire escape, and handed the other one to her, which she wrapped around her quickly. She shivered a little, and all of a sudden I realized just how cold it was out here. All I had on was a T-shirt, but I figured that I should man up, and not let her know that I too was shivering. She sat down on the blanket, and I poured the hot chocolate into the two mugs I had grabbed from the kitchen, much to the dismay of my mother. She had given me a lecture about how the mugs would break and stab my back through my bag. Sometimes I didn't know where she even came up with these things. I shook my head, trying to get the image of my mother out of my head, and looked over at the girl of my dreams. Too bad that's the only place she'd ever be mine. She was holding her hot chocolate, and staring out at the skyline, the same look on her face that I had seen when I walked into the studio before.

"So, what did you want to talk about Carly?" She jumped when I spoke, clearly having drifted back into her dreamland.

She looked at me with her beautiful brown eyes starting to glisten with tears. It literally tore my heart in half. I lowered myself down to sit next to her, and tentatively put my hand on her shoulder, not wanting to invade her personal space. She sniffled a little bit, and put her head on my shoulder. That was enough to send my heart into overdrive. It happened every time that she was close to me, and it embarrassed me. I could hear her breath catch as she drew in the cold night air. She was still crying, and I decided that maybe it was best for me to just sit here with her for the time being. After a minute, she sniffled again, but then began to speak.

"Today, after school Ben broke up with me." She said, and looked up at me, as a tear slowly slid down her cheek. "I walked home in the rain, crying, even though I wasn't all that upset we broke up. But then I got home, and I realized that I wasn't just upset about Ben. I was upset that I can't find a guy that will stay with me. Every time I start to date someone they either break up with me or act like idiots until I have to break up with them. I want something real, Freddie. Something that will last for more than a month or two."

When she had started talking about something real, I wanted to interrupt her, and tell her that I, Fredward Benson, would be her something real. Forever. As she said these words, all I could do was nod, because I was afraid that if I started talking, my voice would be shaking, or I would end up blurting out the words that I didn't think she could handle. I wanted to tell Carly that I loved her, I had for a while. I just didn't think that now was a good time, especially knowing how she felt about me. She had always told me, 'I love you, but I'm not in love with you.' She would always apologize at how cliche it was, but at least I knew that she wasn't leading me on. As I was deep in thought, she shifted her body just a little, and it snapped me back to reality, and the realization that she had stopped talking.

"Well, Carls-" I began, and then of course, my phone started to ring. Carly sat up, pulling herself from my shoulder, dissapointing me greatly. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, cursing whoever was calling me during my private time with Carly. Of course it would be my mother. I debated whether or not I should answer it, but then I realized that if I didn't, she would probably burst out onto the fire escape in a few minutes.

"Hi, Mom. What do you need?" I answer, rolling my eyes at Carly, trying to get a smile out of her. The corner of her perfect mouth turned up a little, but it wasn't the smile I wanted to see. I listened to my mom yelling about the tick bath that she had ready for me. When I had assured her that I'd be there in a few minutes, I hung up the phone, and shoved it back into my pocket. I had to tell Carly that I needed to leave, but how could I leave her at a time like this, when she really needed me. I couldn't let her down. Not when I wanted her to feel the same way about me as I had felt for her all these years. It was too much for me to handle. I felt like crying, but that definitely wouldn't help anything. I looked down at her and tried my best to keep it together.

"I have to go Carls. I'm really sorry, but my tick bath is ready, and you know how my mom enjoys our time together." That got a laugh out of her. Maybe my mother's interruption wasn't a total disaster. "I can try and escape after my bath if you want. I'll sneak out, and bring some more hot chocolate."

She thought about my proposition for a minute, and then nodded at me. "You'd really sneak out after your tick bath for me?"

"Of course I would. I'd do anything for you Carly. I hope you know that..." I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth.

"I know Freddie. And I do appreciate it. I know I don't always tell you, but I know." She leaned towards me and my mind began to race. Was she going to kiss me? What was going on? But then, her lips gently touched my cheeks, and with her gesture came mixed emotions. On one hand, she had never done anything like that, but on the other, I just wanted it to be so much more. I knew it could be so much more, if she would just give me the chance. I managed a small smile, and stood up, leaving her with the blankets. I took the thermos with me, knowing that I had promised her more when I returned. I told her that I'd be back later, opened the door, and began the walk to my apartment.