A person is supposed to live, get old, and die. But that's not always how it happens, sometimes you don't make it to your twilight years. Sometimes you get cut short, and if you do is it only fair to get a second chance? Would it fair to get a third chance?

"Damn it" Kaidan swore out loud as he punched the cold hard steel of his apartment door. The pounding in his head was only getting worse from all this thinking. Thinking about his love for Shepard, thinking about how great it would feel to hold him again, thinking about all the reasons they should bring the Commander back to life, and knowing deep down it was wrong.

Kaidan pushed himself away from the door and walked towards the bathroom, he had to piss and hoped that the mundane task would distract his thoughts long enough that the splitting headache would go away.

The cool tile floor felt good on his bare feet as he stood half naked in front of the toilet letting out the air in his lungs as his bladder emptied. Eventually the piss stream weakened and stopped, Kaidan shook the few remaining drops from his cock and then flushed and pulled up his sweat pants over his round ass. He stepped away and looked in the mirror, something that he had been dreading.

I look like shit he thought, the soldier's jaw was covered in dark hair and his bed head was overgrown and all over the place. He turned on the faucet and wet his hands and reached for his razor, sure they had laser trimmers but he always had favored the old fashioned razor. He smeared shaving cream on his beard and wet the razor, it glided threw the thick hair with ease and soon Kaidan could see his jaw again.

Steam rose steadily over Kaidans nude form, the warm water felt good on his skin and muscles. He let out a sigh, would Shepard even want to be brought back to life? Kaidan would be disappointed in himself enough the way it was. Would Shepard hate him for it? And what if it's like everyone always says that he is in a better place? God, a person could go mad thinking like this.

"I wonder if Liara is still on the Citadel, I need to see her." Kaidan said aloud to himself. He shut off the water in the shower and dried his hair and body with a towel. Kaidan activated his omni-tool and called out to Liara.

"Hello?" her cool voice filling his ears.

"Hey, its Kaidan… I was wondering if you were still on the Citadel, I really need to see you."

"Yes I am, I have a few things to get done today but how about we meet up for a drink tonight?"

Kaidan smiled, "ya that sounds great how about nine at Purgatory?"

"In the mood to dance?" Kaidan didn't have to see her face to know she was grinning widely.

"Come on Liara you know I cant dance!" Chuckled Kaidan.

"One thing you and the Commander always had in common… I should get going I'll see you tonight."

"Alright see you there."

After getting a hair cut and buying some new clothes for his night out Kaidan still couldn't get his mind off Shepard, the thought of seeing him again made him smile and sent chills to his loins. But the thought of actually cloning the Commander made him sick to his stomach it felt so wrong and he felt even worse because he wanted to.

Sitting by himself at the bar made him feel uncomfortable he had already been hit on by three drunk women and an even drunker Krogan that slurred out something to the extent of suck my dick and then fell face first into the bar shattering glasses and spraying a wave of mixed alcohol at a group of squealing girls.

He checked the time, and before it could turn to nine o'clock Liara was already next to him crossing her legs and smoothing out her tight dress, the steel heels of her stilettos gleamed in the lights of the club. She was always on time.

Liara leaned in close, "You sounded upset on the phone earlier so I got us a private booth so we can talk." Her perfume smelt delicious and very expensive. She didn't wait for a response, like always, and got up pulling Kaidan buy the hand to follow her through the sea of dancing bodies as the bass from the fast paced techno beat made his chest vibrate.

They sat down in the plush leather seats and a waiter was there to take their drink orders, Kaidan ordered a rum and coke and Liara ordered a glass of very expensive wine, Kaidan imagined the shadow broker business was going good with the amount of credits she was throwing around.

"So?" Liara looked at him with a smirk saying that she already knew what Kaidan needed to talk about but was going to humor him.

Kaidan sighed, "It's about Shepard… I… I just don't know if I can live with myself bringing him back to life… I mean I really want to and I miss him more than anything in the world but what would he want us to do? What if he woke up from being in a much better place pissed at us?"

Kaidan realized he was out of breath from screaming over the still loud music and was nearly panting… or maybe it was from spilling out all of his feelings and getting everything off his chest. Regardless the drinks they had ordered couldn't have come at a better time; Kaidan's throat was dry and burned.

The cool liquid poured into his mouth, it was strong but he needed to take the edge off and if there was one skill Kaidan got from his time with the Commander it was how to swallow a lot of fluid. And with that he set down the empty glass.

Liara sipped her wine thoughtfully and leaned back resting the bottom of the tall glass on her thigh and sighed.

"Kaidan I'm afraid we have hit some… complications." She swirled her wine in the glass unable to look at Kaidan.

Kaidan felt a sharp tug at his heart, "What do you mean?"

Liara set her glass down, smoothed her dress and looked at Kaidan, "The DNA strand is incomplete, EDI spent hours minning through data and hospital files checking the DNA for matches. And we are still missing one critical piece, the coding for the formation of the heart."

She frowned "I'm afraid that we wont be able to bring him back."

"What about inserting an artificial one after he is fully grown?" Kaidan could feel the desperation in his now trembling voice.

"With out the heart being present during early development, and that's with saying that we hook him up to life support as soon as possible, the organs and the chest cavity itself would not form correctly and there would be no room for a heart. Despite the obvious physical deformations." Liara's logic was cool and sharp.

Kaidan feeling his hopes smashed could feel a tear forming in his right eye, he looked up and blinked it away.

"It is possible that the Crucible was designed to leave out important pieces so that one could not be brought back after one's being was absorbed."

Returning back to his eye contact with Liara he could see the news hurt her too.

"What about me Liara? You haven't tested my blood."

"Kaidan…"

"Kaidan nothing!" Interrupted Kaidan. "There is still a chance."

Liara went to say something but bit her tongue.

"The possibility of your DNA containing the missing piece out of everyone we have checked is about one in a trillion…"

Liara bit her lower lip seeing Kaidan's gaze. Seeing this strong soldier near tears because of her was hitting her hard. Maybe even after these years she still didn't understand humans and how they always made their decisions out of emotion. Where as Asari ruled out of pure logic or at least the logic they posses, maybe due to their radically different life spans humans didn't think like them. They didn't have a thousand years to sit and ponder on a topic. Emotion being the next best thing, offers a radically different life.

"… But I guess it doesn't hurt to check one more person."

Liara forced a reassuring smile though she doubted it had any effect. I guess there is always hope she thought.