Habits
Chapter 4.

All he could remember was their faces. Their terrifying faces. How they looked at him, how clear and bright their eyes were. Eren could only stare in horror and awe. One of them had removed the mask covering his mouth, and he was handsome, and young. For a moment, he looked sympathetic while he watched Eren stare at him. His eyes had softened, and Eren wondered if he might let him go, change his mind, remove the rope around his mother's wrists and let them run free.

But then he chuckled softly, and knelt down before him. A warm hand raised Eren's chin, and the man smiled. 'I have a daughter about the same age as you. Maybe you two will meet each other one day.' Afterwards, he stood to his feet and turned his back on Eren. The boy was dragged away by the two men holding him. Their grip on him was hard, and Eren screamed for his mother, and he wanted to tell her to run, to run away, but she wasn't able to.

Eren scrunched his eyes closed. When he heard her yells of protest, her screams, the laughter and taunts of men, Eren tried to break free. He tried with all his might, until suddenly something hard and heavy smacked him over the head. Blackness slowly clouded his vision and Eren fell into a deep state of unconscious. His mother stopped screaming.

'Eren!'

Footsteps. Hurried, frantic footsteps.

'Eren!' A woman was calling for him.

Another person was yelling orders.

Blast! Splinters of wood cut Eren's cheek and he grimaced, slowly opening his eyes.

'Oi, Jeagar.' This voice was calmer, controlled. A man's voice. A strong hand grabbed Eren by the scruff of his collar and dragged him up. Wide awake, Eren looked at his offender. Levi made a "hm" noise, and chucked him to the side. 'We're being attacked. Somehow, those bastards slipped in through the wall. You know what that means...?'

Eren blinked, and then it hit him. The valeguards had managed to break in. Levi threw a large, black gun Eren's way.

'That's an MP5. A bit too advanced for a kid like you, but there's no time. Get your ass out there.' Without waiting for a reply, Levi brushed past him, a similar weapon also in hand. Eren swallowed, and was about to follow, when suddenly he was blown back when one side of the room exploded. Smacking his head into the wall, Eren struggled to his feet and hurried out.

His ears were ringing, and he wiped blood off his cheek which he knew didn't belong to him. Once he was on the training field, everything was a blur, a mess. It was hard to decipher who was a soldier, and who wasn't. Corpses lay rotting on the ground, and mangled bodies reached out to him for help. Eren stopped breathing. Someone ran past, accidentally colliding into him, and another person almost bumped into him, before being shot in the head.

There wasn't any time for Eren to respond. He toppled backwards when the dead soldier fell onto him. Quickly shoving the body aside, Eren found his feet again, and searched. He searched for something to do. An enemy to kill, a wounded soldier to help. But, soon, he found himself running. Running for what, he wasn't sure. They were being attacked. He had to do something. Where did Levi go? Where was Mikasa? And Annie? What about Armin?

That was when he saw one. A fit, lean man, dressed completely in black. His trench coat was splattered in blood, and Eren watched while he stabbed a soldier's face again and again with his knife. Eren yelled, and dashed forwards, levelling his gun and then he fired. Bullets sprayed at the valeguard, and hit him. Eren only aimed for his chest but left the man to die in agony on the ground.

'Mikasa!' She was there, currently escorting two soldiers to shelter. She whipped her head around to where he was, eyes wide.

'You're here! I left you with Corporal Levi––'

'What the fuck is going on?' Eren said, heart pounding against his chest. He ducked slightly when there was another blast from nearby.

Mikasa shook her head. 'I don't know. One moment it was quiet, and the next a siren went off and people were being shot–– Eren, please take these men to the shelter close by. I need to help Corporal Levi.'

'What? I need to help, too.'

'No, you must do this.'

Eren was about to retort, but there wasn't any time to discuss this over. Growling in irritation, he took the soldiers from Mikasa, and watched while she hurried in the opposite direction. Levi must have ordered her to accompany him. That asshole. Wait, why was Eren angry with Levi? It wasn't his fault this had happened. Damn it. Fuck.

Passing the wounded men to a nurse at the shelter, Eren dashed outside again, and caught side of three valeguards slaughtering four men. Eren skidded to a halt when one caught sight of him. In a flash, a dagger scraped Eren's cheek. Blood trickled from the wound, and he knew if he had moved less than an inch to his right he would have been killed. The valegaurd was angry to discover he missed. Eren realised he was about to use the gun in his hands, and quickly aimed with his own.

A hot, sharp sensation stung his chest. Eren yelped, dropping the gun. Suddenly he couldn't work his arms, and his knees collapsed beneath him. Looking upwards, he watched while the valeguard reloaded his gun, stepping closer and closer––

Then he disappeared.

It was a green blur, and it looked like it was flying. A man, a soldier. A cord hung from his belt, the other end attached to somewhere else. The body of the valeguard fell from the man's hands and smashed into one of the rooftops. Eren slowly found his feet, hand pressed to his bloody chest. The green blur dropped down in front of him.

'Kid, you'd better move!'

'Yes, sir...' Eren mumbled, snatching his gun from the ground. However, when he tried to run, he found he couldn't. The agony in his chest made it hard to breathe and move. Eren groaned, pressing down on the bullet wound harder.

Of course he didn't get very far. Before he could defend himself, Eren was smacked to the ground. His nose felt like it had been ripped open and he gasped, suddenly coughing up blood. Someone heavy straddled his hips, and with the end of his gun hit Eren across the face. Then he hit him again. And again. It felt as if Eren's face was being torn in half; he couldn't move, he was being beaten to death. And this man was enjoying himself.

Such an easy kill.

No... No, I can't die like this. Eren turned his head, saw the valeguard looking down on him, reached up and grabbed his face between his hands. Then Eren squeezed. He squeezed so hard his fingernails dug into the man's mask, and into his flesh. The valeguard started to scream. Eren pulled down, and he could feel the man's flesh tearing. And Eren thought of his mother, the man who knelt down in front of him, smiling so warmly, so lovingly.

So sadly.

"I have a daughter about the same age as you..."

The valeguard retreated, rolling off Eren and searched for his pistol. Eren was one step ahead though. The MP5 was in hand, and he shot.

He didn't wait for the body to fall. Eren remembered, his anger returned, and the pain in his chest ebbed away. He needed to find Armin, and make sure he was okay. And he needed to find Annie and Mikasa too. Where was Annie? How could she vanish so easily? He would have found her by now, surely. Unless... No, he couldn't think like that.

Eren dashed onwards, and fired bullets at any valeguard in sight. 'Armin!' He called, but to no avail. 'Mikasa!' He stopped, swivelled around, breathing heavily. 'Annie...?'

Faces of the dead greeted him, and the stench of death reached his nostrils. Eren suddenly saw a valeguard racing over to him, but he had no time to fire. In an instant, Eren was hit across the head, kneed in the stomach. Two other valeguards hurried over, tied Eren's wrists behind his back with a piece of wire, and then shoved something hard and cold into his mouth.

'I hope you like the taste of grenade, sweetheart.' Laughter, and they left the boy alone, biting down on the grenade cap for dear life.

When she reached Levi, she had to ask him what he was doing. Two 3D Manoeuvre Gears were in his possession and, without a word, he threw one to her. Mikasa stared in disbelief. He couldn't be serious. She had barely trained. How could he expect her to do this? 'No, sir. I'm not ready.'

'There isn't time for ready, Ackerman.' Levi was sweating, but he appeared so calm and serene. Clearly this invasion was barely anything compared to what he had endured in the past. 'Strap that on, and follow me.'

Hands shaking a little, Mikasa obeyed her commanding officer's orders. Soon, the 3D Manoeuvre Gear was on correctly and she hurried after Levi.

Fortunately, they didn't bump into any of the valeguards on their way. Levi shot upwards, the cord of his Gear grabbing onto a rooftop to one of the training halls. Once he landed on the roof, he looked down at his subordinate. 'Try it. Remember what I taught you yesterday? It's easy.'

If Levi trusted her to do this, she could do it. Mikasa braced herself for the impact, and shot the cord upwards. It latched onto the rooftop and she quickly joined her commander. Levi passed her a knife, and a gun. It was fairly large, but she was able to manage it. When she looked at him, she couldn't read his expression. She wanted to know what he was thinking. If this was all a big joke to him, or if he might possibly be afraid.

After all, they could both die out here if they weren't careful.

'You know what to do. Kill any valeguard in sight. Mercy isn't an option.'

Mikasa nodded. 'I'd never even dream of offering such, sir.'

'I know. Good luck, Ackerman.' Levi jumped off the rooftop, and used the 3D Manoeuvre in order to glide in the air. This gave him the opportunity to take the valeguards by surprise. Mikasa watched while he grabbed one, brought him up into the air, and stabbed him through the chest. Carelessly, Levi dropped him back to the ground and searched for his next target.

Like a bird of prey. A majestic hawk.

Walking to the edge of the roof, Mikasa searched for a valeguard who had left himself open. She found one, and followed Levi's movements. Jumping off the edge, she fell, but quickly shot the cord upwards. The air was rushed out of her when she zoomed forwards. It was so fast she was shocked when she saw the valeguard was only inches away. Reaching out, she grabbed the man by his coat, used the dagger Levi gave her and stabbed him in the forehead.

The man's eyes rolled back, his head lopsided, and she dropped him.

And even though death was singing in her ears, even though she might die, Mikasa felt a thrill. A thrill she had never felt in her life. Not for a very, very long time. The cord was aimed perfectly at another rooftop, and her body was dragged upwards into the air. She could feel the cord digging into her skin, marking her, but the pain wasn't noticeable.

Within just a couple of minutes, she managed to kill seven valeguards without their knowing. But she needed to stop. Her feet landed gracefully on top of one of the rooftops, and she caught her breath. The 3D Manoeuvre was more exhausting than she first assumed. It pressed down on her lungs, and the rush made it hard to breathe.

Someone landed nearby, and she shot upwards, her dagger at the ready.

Levi grabbed her arm before she attacked.

'... it's done.'

Mikasa frowned at him, then finally she could hear. So absorbed in the movements of the 3D Gear, so obsessed in mercilessly killing those bastards, she wasn't aware of anything else. Now, noise filtered in through her ears.

Silence. Sweet, blissful, awful silence. There were no more gunshots, no more screams.

Catching Levi's gaze, she expected him to say something else, but he simply released her arm and walked to the other edge of the roof. 'Believe me, that was easy. That was nothing.' Placing a hand on his hip, he peered at her from behind his shoulder. 'You're ready for what's out there, Ackerman. By the end of the month, you'll be in my squad.'

It puzzled her how he could be talking about this, just after so many people had died? Didn't he want to wait and find out how the valeguards broke in through the wall? It was as if he didn't feel anything. 'That was quick...' was all she could say.

'Like I said: that was nothing. Just a slip-up. Those were not valeguards.'

Mikasa looked at him sharply. 'What?'

'I've fought them before, and what we handled were... well, pawns. Whoever organised this invasion either rushed into it, or didn't want to be a part of it. Tell me, why would you pick your worst soldiers for something so important?' Levi glanced down. He saw survivors and soldiers either searching for any wandering valeguards or wounded men. And he saw men and women sobbing, over corpses or over nothing. A pitiful, pathetic sight. 'It was a test.'

Silent, Mikasa watched him intently. A shiver ran up her spine when she realised what he was implying.

Whoever organised this invasion was someone who they thought was an ally. It was an inside job. Someone on their side had betrayed them.

'Who?' She didn't expect Levi to know, but he seemed to appreciate her question. 'Who would do such a thing?'

Levi turned to her, and, for once, he didn't appear bored or exhausted. A small, tiny smile reached his lips. Despite the horrific circumstances, Levi was thrilled. 'I guess that's up to us to find out, Ackerman.'

Blood pooled into his curled palms where the wire had dug into Eren's wrists from his struggling. His teeth bit down hard onto the grenade cap, and sweat trickled down his forehead. There weren't anymore gunshots, but no one had found him in this position yet. His gums were beginning to ache, sting from the amount of pressure he was putting on the grenade. He wanted to yell for help, but wouldn't dare open his mouth, not even move his lips.

Oh, oh how he hated them. Those pieces of shits. They had laughed at him. Eren barely had a chance to make a move, and they laughed at him, nearly killed him, and then left him in such a humiliating position. More than anything, Eren wanted to break their necks. How dare they do this to him? How dare they hurt him more after everything they had done?

They dare break into the wall–– Well, Eren would dare do the same to them.

If he survived.

Glancing to the ground, he waited. He couldn't snap the wire around his wrists, it was too tight. The sun was murder, glaring down at him. Hair stuck to his sweaty forehead, and his clothes were soaked. Biting down on the cap was becoming too much. He needed to open his mouth, ease his poor jaw. Relax himself. His muscles were tense, and he was so angry.

Now, it was all very clear why Levi refused him to fight.

Now, it was all very clear why Annie criticised him.

"What do you know about anger anyway?" Eren closed his eyes, clenching his fists. He remembered every word he said to her last night, how he screamed at her so pathetically. And he screamed and fought because he knew she was right, and he couldn't handle that. He couldn't handle the fact she was right; that she knew him better than he knew himself.

God, they barely knew one another to begin with.

"Anger is an emotion and, as far as I'm concerned, you don't have any."

How wrong he had been.

I'm sorry, Annie.

And here he was, biting down on a grenade cap, waiting to die and to kill everyone else around him. Because he was weak. Because he had acted out in his anger. Because he overestimated his own abilities. He underestimated the valeguards and now he was stuck like this.

Eren gasped in surprise when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Help, finally! But when he looked up, his heart sunk, and he slumped his shoulders. It was a valeguard. All he could see was his eyes –– a clear, faint blue. Like the man he met all of those years ago. The one who removed his mask and smiled at him. Chuckled and then murdered his mother.

And now, it was his turn to die.

But the valeguard did nothing. He watched him for a moment, studying him, his amazing eyes examining Eren's face. Then, he reached forwards, a gloved hand taking the grenade from the boy's mouth. Eren exhaled, free. His mouth relaxed, and he stared at the valeguard in disbelief. The valeguard pressed down on the cap, his eyes so clear, but so illegible.

Eren said nothing. There was nothing to say. They were both silent, and he watched the valeguard walk away, and soon disappear into the dusty atmosphere. Eren was still for a moment longer, before he, too, found his feet.

Never was it known for a valeguard to offer mercy. They were all animals, and Eren hated every single one of them for that reason.

Deciding to keep quiet about what he experienced, Eren, trembling, searched for any survivors.

Unclipping the cords from her body, Mikasa inhaled slowly, finally released. She walked past a field of bodies, paid no attention to the nurses and doctors kneeling down beside wounded men. It was when she found a valeguard, blood oozing through its black coat, did she stop. Crouching, she tugged at the valeguard's mask and pulled upwards.

Mikasa didn't know what she was expecting, but was shocked to discover the valeguard was very human. A man, possibly mid-twenties. A good-looking male, neatly combed, blond hair. There was a path of dried blood from his lips to his jawline. He had been shot. Straightening herself, Mikasa continued her way, when she heard sobbing from nearby. Turning, she saw a hunched over figure, pressed against a wall, head down.

It didn't take her long to realise who this was. Armin. The boy Eren had been speaking to on the training grounds the other day. Mikasa proceeded over, and stopped before him. She didn't know what to say. Armin was crying. And he had every reason to cry.

But he shouldn't.

The blond sensed her approach, and raised his head, quickly wiping away the tears streaming down his face. 'Don't look––' He hiccuped. 'Don't look at me like that.'

Mikasa looked away. 'Why are you crying?' It was a stupid question; she knew why he was crying, but how could he cry? Did Armin just collapse in the midst of battle and burst into tears? The thought irritated her immensely.

'Because no else is,' he replied, his voice stronger. '... How did they get in?'

Mikasa lowered her gaze. 'I don't know.'

'We need to know how,' Armin insisted, standing up. He wiped away a few stray tears. 'We can't let them get in again. We lost so many.'

'Mikasa! Armin?' Both turned to Eren's voice.

He was running awkwardly towards them, a limp in his step. Mikasa gasped and rushed forwards, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck and pulling him into a hug. Eren widened his eyes slightly in surprise, but smiled anyway. 'I'm so glad you're okay,' Mikasa said, releasing him slightly. She then spotted his bullet wound. 'Eren!'

It shocked him how he forgot. Now that Mikasa reminded him, the pain returned, and the loss of blood began to take effect. Feeling lightheaded and queasy, Eren cursed to himself and nearly fell to his knees. However, Armin shot over and brought Eren's arm around his shoulders. Mikasa did the same, and together they gradually made their way to the hospital.

None of them were that surprised to find the building crowded, queues running outside the doors. Eren sighed, and forced himself out of his friends' grip. Plopping down onto his backside, he watched Mikasa tear at her jacket and wrap a strip tightly around his wound. 'That should stop the bleeding for now. Come on, Eren. You must keep your strength up.'

'I will...' Eren glanced over at Armin, then Mikasa, then Armin again. 'Have you two seen Annie?'

'Leonhardt?' Armin queried, raising his brows. Mikasa and he exchanged looks. 'No.'

Eren tried to ignore the sinking sensation in his stomach. Mikasa caught on, though. She squeezed his shoulder affectionately. 'I'll go look for her. Armin?'

'I can take care of Eren... Come on, we need to queue up...' With reluctance, Eren was helped to his feet by Armin and they slowly made their way to the queue. Eren peered over his shoulder and watched while Mikasa hurried away in search of Annie.

Please, please be all right, he thought to himself. Please.

No matter where she looked, Mikasa couldn't find Annie anywhere. On several occasions she had to postpone her search in order to help wounded men onto stretchers, or to fetch some medical supplies for nurses. She was out for nearly six hours by the time she concluded Annie wasn't around. Mikasa initially thought Annie had got injured in the battle and so was probably in hospital. Maybe she and Eren had found each other.

Still, Mikasa couldn't help but feel uneasy. During the invasion, she didn't spot Annie at all. Of course Mikasa couldn't assume anything which such a lack of evidence. So what if she didn't see Annie? She didn't see a variety of people she knew at the battle. It was all a blur, and so fast. Anyone would have missed her watch.

Mikasa frowned to herself. Yes, maybe she simply didn't catch Annie at the time, but... but why didn't she feel convinced yet? Mikasa had been sceptical about the girl from day one. Annie would return from somewhere late at night (insisting she had only been training which was plausible, considering her exhausted state), but she also left very early, at sunrise. Their last conversation didn't go down very well, and Mikasa decided she should probably try a more mature, careful approach the next time she started querying Annie about her whereabouts.

Although she didn't want to admit it, Annie was an important soldier in the army. She was brilliant with combat –– better than a handful of superior officers at that. So, Mikasa had every reason to ask where she was during the invasion. If she had got attacked, or fled, or simply wasn't there.

Simply wasn't there.

'Hm,' Mikasa shoved a hand in her pocket.

Turning around she began to return to the hospital. On her way, she saw Levi from afar, and he was in a very intense discussion with several superior officers. Mikasa couldn't decipher what they were talking about, and when Levi caught her watching, she quickly glanced away. She might have her suspicions about Annie, but it wasn't long until Levi would transfer her to outside the wall. Due to this, her investigation would have to end. Preferably, recruits should have at least three years of training, but time was running short.

That much was proved when the wall was invaded.

Mikasa wasn't one for flatteries. In fact, she rarely received them, even from her adoptive parents. Ever since her biological parents' deaths, Mikasa had been odd. Even she could tell the difference. In order to feel safer, Mikasa kept very much to herself, and sometimes kept a good distance from Eren if she felt uncomfortable. She wondered if Levi might understand. He seemed to have endured quite a harsh past himself.

Or was that the reason he saw eye-to-eye with her so easily?

When she returned to the hospital, she was pleased to find Eren no longer queuing up. Entering, she asked a nurse behind the receptionist desk which ward Eren Jaegar was in, and was directed a couple of metres away. The hospital was crowded, and some soldiers didn't even have the luxury of a bed, seated in chairs of even on the floor. The place stunk of sweat, medical supplies, and blood. It was awful.

Passing several beds, she reached one at the end of the ward, and found Eren asleep, a clean sheet over him. Armin was there, and he hurried over to meet her. 'They removed the bullet and bandaged him up. He just needs to rest now.'

Mikasa didn't reply.

'Did you find Annie?'

Looking at the blond, Mikasa shook her head. 'No.'

When Eren would finally wake up, she wasn't sure what to tell him. Hopefully, though, Eren wouldn't take Annie's mysterious disappearance as heavily as Mikasa.

author's note: I can imagine what you're all thinking about Annie. There will be differences to the canon-verse, though, so I shan't bore you with repetitive details. Eren might have appeared weak in this chapter, but I wanted to illustrate just how powerful the valeguards were (and they weren't even the best, like Levi said). Also, Eren is still a recruit, he hasn't had a lot of training. Mikasa is a natural with the 3D Manoeuvre Gear, but that is her only speciality currently. In time, the characters will develop and discover what they're good at.

Personally, I felt my writing wasn't very good in chapter, but honestly, I can't figure out how else I can improve it. Sorry for the crap quality, guys.

Kamil the Awesome: Thanks very much!

unblockabletree: Your theory is interesting, and plausible too. You'll just have to wait and find out what happens. ;) As for the ages of the characters, I should probably make this clearer, but they're eighteen and upwards. To me, that seems the most appropriate age to join the army. I will go into further detail about this in later chapters, but below that age, I think children would have a sort of pre-training before joining the army, so that they're prepared.

White Ink Penpal: Thanks for what you said about the characterisation –– it helps, and I do feel a lot more free when challenging some of the characterisations in the canon-verse. The situation is somewhat different to what happens in the manga, so I do think it's important to appreciate that and analyse whether the characters would be different in some ways. Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

Vaegtersang: Cheers for the review! I'm glad you liked the previous chapter. :)

ReaderWriterPoet: Thank you!

MBScavenger1498: I do intend to give all the characters a lot of character development –– particularly Mikasa. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

Kimiilnkk: Wow, thank you for such sweet feedback!