So, lots of people wanted Carlisle to get medical and what not and talk about STDs. So that's what you get! But also, I thought of my sex ed classes, we do "charts".

So Carlisle and Renesmee are gonna play a little game.

Also, my most sincere apologies for taking AGES to put this up. I've been a little busy with Snapshots and Ink Me, Baby (check those out please by the way!) But here it is.

Carlisle's POV

"Renesmee?" I called softly from my upstairs study, "Can you come up her for a moment?"

"Ok Carlisle!"

She bounded lightly up the spiral staircase, her pretty head peered around the frame of my door, "Yes?"

"I'd like you to take a seat." I replied, gesturing to the empty chair in front of me, going into doctor mode.

"Ok." She sound uncertain, and a little nervous.

"I spoke to Edward, and he told me you had a little . . chat." I steepled my fingers together in front of me, intently staring at my thumb nail.

"Oh no, I know where this is going." She groaned, burying her crimson cheeks in her hands, "Another sex talk?"

I nodded, "Unfortunately for you, yes. But I promise it'll be a fun sex talk!"

She raised an eyebrow at me, "I doubt it."

"So, I thought we could play a little game." I reached into one of the drawers of my mahogany desk and pulled out some rolled up posters, "I got these from the education centre in the hospital."

She looked extremely apprehensive as I scattered some white cards upside down on the desk in front of her.

"Now, the cards are for you, I'm going to hold out the poster, and you'll pin on the labels where you think they go!" I brightly.

"Can I please just leave?" She pleaded.

I shook my head, "Not a chance, this is important Ness. Besides, I've never needed to give the "Birds and the Bees" to any of the others, although their parents had already beaten me to the chase by the time they became my family. And I suppose I've always felt like I missed out on something important."

"That's not fair! Don't play the sypmathy card."

"These are the only cards we'll be playing with today Renesmee."

She rolled my eyes at my bad pun.

"Now," I rolled the poster the other way so it would lay flat, "What's this first diagram here of?"

"Vagina." Renesmee murmured into her hand, her cheeks flaming.

"Excellent!" I beamed, "And this one?"

"Penis." She could barely mouth the word she was now so embarrassed.

"Very good, now turn over a card and stick it to the appropriate place on the diagram." I was really quite enjoying this.

She flipped over the card closest to her, I read it upside down, Uterus. She quickly placed it on the upper right side of the diagram.

"A little lower." I hinted, "Perfect!"

"You're the most unconventional granddad ever." Renesmee said as she turned over another card, cervix.

And so it continued, Scrotum, Ovary, Testis, Prostate gland, Labia. Until we were finished. She breathed a sigh of relief as she stuck down the final card.

"Can I please go now?"

I shook my head, "I have on more thing to discuss with you. You may have heard your human friends mention it, you may have heard it in school. Either way it's a serious matter. Stds."

She visibly cringed, "But I've never gotten sick in my whole life!"

"That doesn't mean you won't ever!" I said sternly, breaking out of doctor mode and back into grand father, "Besides, that Jacob, running around in the wilderness, fleas, roadkill at times. You don't know what he could have picked up!"

"You sound just like my dad!" Ness protested.

I ignored her, "In the hospital we have a public clinic, you should see the things that come in, you wouldn't believe . . " I began to go off track, "But anyway, the important thing I'm trying to say is, you need to be able to recognise them. So I have another game."

She groaned loudly, "Please, this is nearly as bad as Alice - "

I interrupted, "Don't worry. This is a computer game I found online, it's called STD invaders."

Her eyes widened as her face grew incredulous looking, "Are you serious?"

"Yes." I turned my laptop around to face her, then moved instantly to stand behind her.

She unenthusiastically keyed in her initials, and clicked play.

"Quick, quick! Pubic lice! Condoms are no good, use the shampoo, the shampoo!" I exclaimed. I couldn't help myself, Emmett didn't lick his competiveness off the ground, "Turn! Press 1!"

"Carlise!" her head snapped round.

"Sorry." I held up my hands in apology, "USE THE ANTI VIRALS!!"

She gasped, "The chylmdia got me, damn it and it's no symptoms."

I smiled to myself, she was starting to get into this. Maybe interactive learning did have it's advantages after all.

Esme's head popped around the door, "What is going on in here? All I could hear was you shouting anti virals?"

I beckoned her to come stand behind me, Renesmee was now shielding her cartoon self with a condom.

"Quick! Use the pill again!" Esme fretted, "You wouldn't know how many mothers I over hear talking about their pregnant daughters. Not until you're married." She reminded Renesmee.

"What is with everyone around here and their morals?" She asked, throwing her hands in the air as the high scores flashed up on screen.

"Oh we can't help it."

Renesmee swivelled around in the leather chair to face me, "Can I please go now?"

"I suppose you can."

"Finally." She jumped out of her chair and made quickly for the door.

"Just one thing - " I called her back, "Don't ever take sex advice from Jasper."

So, that's Carlisle done. Jasper next.

What would you like to hear from Jasper?

Let me know in a review.

And please review and let me know what you thought of this chapter.

Sorry again about the wait.