Hello all

The next chapter is here. EJ and Edward are finally meeting properly. Someone asked about an Alice POV and I'm thinking about it. If I do it than I'll make it into an outtake later down the line. Someone also commented on Bella's nickname, I promise that'll be explained. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. The next two are going to be dealing with more of what Bella's been dealing with for the past five years.

See you at the bottom

Thank you to my Twilighted Beta LisaDawn75 for getting this posted so quickly I really appreciate it.

Thank you PTB for all your wonderful Beta work.

Stephanie owns all things Twilight but cutie little EJ is all mine.

Chapter 4- Getting to know you

This day was shaping up to be one for the record books. I wish I could just throw my hands up and be done with all of it, but I wouldn't do that to EJ. No matter how selfish I wanted to be in all of this, I would always put him first. As we walk into the house, I am already annoyed with the situation at the school, and I know I have to let the others know what happened, but then EJ looks at Coppertop and tells him to run away. Before I have time to process what has happened, EJ is running upstairs.

I walk into my old room and through the adjoining bathroom into EJ's room. He's sitting in the center of his room staring at the pattern in the rug, like it is going to give him the answers he needs.

"Do you want to tell me what happened down there?" Silence. The only thing I can come up with is that Edward is doing his tortured soul bullshit and EJ heard his thoughts. When will this man pull his head out of his ass?

"You know he doesn't mean to always be so broody; it's just sometimes he just is. I don't know what he was thinking about that got you so upset, but I can almost guarantee that whatever it is it's because your dad thinks he's doing something for your benefit."

"I don't think he likes me very much," he whispers into his shirt as he curls his body into a ball. He's trying to protect himself from what he believes will be his father's rejection, and I'm hoping that after all this time, I'm not completely wrong about Edward; that I haven't exposed my son to more pain and heartache.

"Is that what your dad was thinking that made you run away?" I don't want to assume anything because I'm still hoping that everything I've told EJ about his father isn't complete crap.

"No, he was just thinking about leaving again; Alice and I had the vision at the same time. Why would he leave if he liked me? I know you've always said he would be happy when we finally meet, but maybe the person you knew doesn't exist anymore, Mom."

"E, I'm going to tell you something about your dad, something that I don't think I've ever said to you before, and I need you to listen very carefully. Are you listening?"

He nods at me without fully lifting his head, so I can't see into his eyes.

"Your dad sometimes lets his judgment get a little clouded. He has this perception in his mind on how things should be, and how things should be for the people around him. He doesn't always see the bigger picture of the decisions he makes and that usually leads him to act a little irrationally. I'm not telling you this so that you can always let him off the hook, but maybe this once we can just let this slide. He's overwhelmed, but I know if you give him the chance, he'll be a great father." Taking my hand, I raise it to his chin so I can pull his eyes up to mine before I speak again.

"So what do you say, EJ-can we give him a chance to be your dad? I know this is scary, but all you have to do is go downstairs-we'll figure out the rest from there."

Timidly he looks around his room and then back to my face. For a moment, I think he's going to refuse, and if he does, then what? He lets out a heavy sigh like he's battling against the weight of the world before he gives me a slight nod and motions with his head toward the door. I'm not used to this EJ. My EJ is energetic and talks a mile a minute, but this EJ is so sullen and withdrawn. I hope he hasn't buried that part of himself too deep and that this is just temporary.

Before either of us can change our minds, I grab his hand and lead the way back down to the family room. We walk slowly and the closer we get, the firmer EJ's grip on my hand becomes. I wish there was a way for me to make this easier on him; I wish that we would've been better prepared for this meeting. All I can do is be there for him. We reach the bottom of the stairs, and I feel EJ pause and hide behind my legs.

He clutches onto the back of my legs, and I slowly shuffle into the room filled with expectant eyes. I really wish I had a clue as to what to do, but I don't and I'm terrified that I'm going to do this all wrong. I work quickly to bury that feeling because no matter what I'm feeling, EJ needs me to take the lead on this. I decide to start with the easier people in this situation and just move from there. While still trying to hide him, I crouch down and face my son.

"Baby, Granddad and Mima are here to see you. Do you want to say hello to them? I'm sure Mima could really use one of your special hugs right about now."

He slowly glances around the room before looking at me. He slowly nods and makes his way over to his grandparents. Esme is the first to wrap him up in her arms, and I notice some of the tension in EJ's body diminish. Regardless of my own personal feelings on this family, Carlisle and Esme are amazing to their grandson. They love and dote on him-I love the way they are with him and have never regretted having them in his life. I watch on as EJ rocks back and forth slowly in his grandmother's arms. I can't hear what she's saying, but I'm sure she's murmuring words of love and affection to him-it's just her way. She's even still like that with me. Even with the number of times I've pushed her away, she always does her best to pull me back in. I honestly I love her for it, and one day I might stop pulling away-maybe.

EJ finally pulls away from his Mima and looks shyly over at his granddad. Carlisle pulls him in for a hug, and the room is filled with EJ's laughter as he squirms within his granddad's hold. Carlisle ruffles his already unruly hair and beams down at his grandson. As he interacts with his grandparents, I can see the spark coming back into his eyes. The carefree little boy that I know so well is starting to show himself.

Once he pulls away from Carlisle, he comes and tucks back next to me. Some of the uncertainty begins to show once again, but it's now mixed with curiosity. I look down the line at his family and try to decide where to start first. Directly in front of me are Emmett and the Ice Queen, and I'm figuring I should start here and work my way down the line. Still crouching down, I pull EJ in front of me.

"E, this is your uncle Em that we've talked about and his wife, your aunt Rosalie." I try to smile as pleasantly as possible because regardless of my own issues, I want EJ to make his own opinions about his family.

"Hey, little man, I'm your cool Uncle Em. Anything you need, any time you need it-just come and find me. I got your back, kid."

EJ grins up at the big behemoth of an uncle, and I instantly see how at ease they seem to be with one another. I honestly always knew that they would be; it's just the way that Em always was with me that let me know that my son would have a partner in crime for life.

"Do you play any sports, Uncle Em? Uncle Jake's been teaching me, but we can never get a full game going. Would you play with us? I promise I'm really good, and I'm pretty fast."

"Any time, little man, you just let me know the time and the place, and I'll be there. What do you guys usually play?"

"Soccer, football, and baseball, but I really love soccer."

During this entire banter, the rest of the family is watching on intently, and Rosalie seems to be in awe of the interaction between the two of them but chooses not to add anything more than a simple smile. As much as I'm enjoying this display, I have to pull EJ away to continue the introductions. Now as we progress, all the tension seems to leave him, and his confidence is higher than it's been this whole time.

"Baby, this is your uncle Jasper and your aunt Alice."

EJ tilts his head to the side like he's examining them. After a few minutes of silence, his laughter fills the room, and he turns his head toward me.

"He's trying to figure me out, Momma. He doesn't understand why his gift isn't working on me, and he doesn't know if I'm a threat to them."

The stunned looks on everyone's faces makes EJ laugh more, and his infectious laughter causes me to join in. Finally we compose ourselves and get back to the business at hand. He sticks his hand out to Jasper and gives Alice a quick hug.

"Your gifts won't work on me, and they'll rarely work on Mom anymore. We're both shields, so we get to stay under the radar."

"But they always worked before, why wouldn't they work now?" Jasper inquires. I can tell he's more curious than suspicious. Jasper has always been the guy in the background, taking everything in and trying to figure things out. EJ has just given him the ultimate puzzle to try and solve.

"Mom's getting stronger. She'll keep getting stronger. Her gift is like a muscle-the more she improves on it, the more force she'll have behind it. Plus, the more she turns into herself, the more protection her shield provides."

EJ stuns the entire room into silence with his eloquent description of my inner workings. I can tell by Jasper's face that he wants to know more, but when he looks over at his over-excited wife, he pulls it back in while smiling lovingly at her. EJ extends his hand to Alice and I'm sure the squeal she lets out breaks the sound barrier.

"O-M-G you are so cute. You have to be the most adorable thing that I have ever seen. We're going to have so much fun together. Do you shop? Don't worry. I'll get you into it. OH MY G OD I'm an aunt. Jasper can you believe that after all these years, I'm actually an aunt. This is so cool."

EJ is momentarily stunned by the short woman that almost seems to be levitating off the sofa. For me it just brings back more memories of a time so long ago. I have missed my best friends-my family-so much, and now having them here and watching them with my son brings all those feelings back. Those feelings were now tainted by the hurt and pain that had been caused by this family.

Sensing where my emotions are taking me, EJ grabs hold of my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. Even though the others' gifts don't work on me, that doesn't apply to EJ. He doesn't even have to try; he just maneuvers around areas where others can't step. In all honesty, it's pretty weird to be such an open book to your son, but we have boundaries set up, and fortunately for us, EJ is able to tune out his gifts when he needs to. I try to teach him to respect the privacy of others and understand when certain things can't be avoided, but I'm proud of how determined he is to not be intrusive into others' thoughts or feelings. I must've been doing something right with him.

Not being able to control herself any longer, Alice scoops EJ up into a hug while swinging him around. If my son didn't look so terrified, I would've found the sight hysterical. My son, who is almost the same height as his newly found aunt, is barely dangling from the ground. As amused as I am at the sight before me, I decide to intervene and rescue my son.

"Alice, it's time to put the child down and bring it down a notch or two before you scare him into hiding."

I know she wants to argue with me, but then she glances at EJ and I'm grateful that she puts him down and does her best to contain her excess energy. I turn him towards the more unfamiliar member of the group.

"EJ, this is Tanya. She's a part of Carmen and Eleazer's family, and she's also very close to your family." I almost choke on that last word. They aren't really his family yet. I've been trying to keep my anger and my own personal feelings in check, but I really just want to give each of them a piece of my mind and tell them that they don't deserve to have my son in their lives. Tanya smiles at EJ and gently takes his hand when he offers it.

Introductions are almost over, and I've held it together this long; what's a few more minutes?

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Edward fidgeting and shifting from one foot to the other. A few years ago, I would've wanted to comfort him and I would've soothed him with my words, but this is now and there will be no sympathy from this devil. As we make our way closer to where Edward is standing, I can feel the tension return to EJ's form. If I'm being completely honest, it seems like all three of us are on edge. I almost wish we were in some Lifetime movie of the week where we would all have that great moment and go running into each other's arms, and the world around us would stop. We would hug and kiss and declare our undying devotion to our little family, and we'd walk away into the sunset.

Okay, sue me-I've watched a lot of Lifetime. It's not my fault that I was too big and too pregnant to get out of bed most of the time that last month. Regardless of my guilty pleasures, that won't be happening in this situation.

Once in front of him, we all just stand there and look at everything except each other. When I do finally look at Edward, I'm hoping that he will at least attempt to make the first move, but he seems too fascinated with a spot on the wall way over my head to do anything.

Once again it looks like I'm going to have to take the first step. Only one thing comes to mind, and I do my best to steady myself for what I'm about to do. Slowly, I raise my hand up and reach out for Edward to take my hand in his.

"Edward, it's good to see you after all this time. I would like for you to meet EJ, our son."

As we shake hands, the sparks shoot through me, and I fight to maintain my composure and focus on the little boy hanging on to me from behind. With my free hand, I pull EJ to the front to stand between us. Slowly and after looking up at me, EJ extends his hand up toward his father and begins to speak quietly.

"My name is Edward Jacob Masen Cullen. I'm four years old but I look ten. I'm special or at least that's what Mom says. Mom's told me a lot about you, and it's good to finally meet you."

Seeming dazed and in awe, Edward slowly lowers himself to his knees until he is eye to eye with his son. Moments tick by and some unspoken communication seems to pass between them. A second later, Edward is tightly holding EJ in his arms with EJ holding him with equal intensity. I let out a big breath that I didn't even know I was holding. Watching them together, I feel a squeeze in my heart. I always hoped for this moment, and now standing here, it's more than I could've hoped for.

It isn't until a few moments have passed that I realize that I am crying. Well, more like sobbing as I watch the two of them together. I've done my best not to regret the decisions I've made up to this point, but seeing them right now brings on waves of guilt. Who did I really do this for all these years: EJ or me? We would've found a way to make it work just like we will now, so why did it take so long for this to happen? And why did it take my hand to be forced to realize it?

EJ, still wrapped in his father's embrace, turns his head to look at me while shaking his head, letting me know without words that all is as it should be. I choke back the new round of sobs that threaten to break from me because it's his world that's changing, and I'm the one being comforted.

When they finally pull away from each other, matching grins plastered on their faces, Coppertop just stares at him. It's a look I've held many times over the years; it's a look of love and complete awe. Glancing around the room, I notice everyone trying to give us privacy but failing as they steal glances in our direction-not that I blame them. It's a sight to see.

Eventually the spell between the two seems to break, and Coppertop stands and looks directly at me. He lets out a shaky breath and whispers "thank you" to me as if I have just given him the key to life. Glancing down at my son, I think maybe I have.

Attempting to regain a bit of composure, I let them know I'm heading to start dinner. EJ seems a little hesitant to let me go too far, so I suggest having them sit in the kitchen while I get things started. I try to focus on what I'm doing and not listen in on their conversation, but it's so hard. I want full access, but I know that this is time that they need. EJ calling me causes me to snap around, almost making me to lose my footing and take a nasty spill into the kitchen island. When I focus eyes on my son, I can tell he's holding back his laughter.

"Not a peep, little bit." I laugh out while failing to send a mommy glare at him. He just holds his hands up in mock surrender and turns back to his father.

While the food is simmering and the boys are lost in conversation, I decide to make my way to the back porch. I usually like to go back there to be alone and enjoy the quiet, but once I reach the porch, I realize that Jasper is already there. He stands there, leaning against the railing with a cigarette resting lazily between his fingers. Without giving him a chance to react, I pull the cig from between his fingers, bring it to my lips and take a deep cleansing pull. Jasper's mouth hangs open as I replaced the cig back between his fingers.

"The kid keeps throwing mine away, so I have to bum them every once in a while," I state matter-of-factly.

"No problem, just a little shocked is all; never really saw you as the smoking type. I'm sure my brother is in the middle of a coronary right now," Jasper says with a light chuckle.

"Guess it's a good thing he's no longer my keeper, or I might actually have to fear the big bad Edward Cullen," I stated flatly with a shake of my shoulders, not even attempting to hide the sarcasm.

"Listen, Bella, if you really want to be mad at someone, I'm more than…" I cut him off swiftly.

"My anger is placed exactly as it should be. You were the excuse, the justification for selfish, self-loathing actions. He made his decision before we even made it back to the car. What happened that night just gave him better leverage in his argument." Taking a deep breath, I continue with the words that I have waited five years to say.

"I never blamed you, Jasper. It was never your fault. Your brother and I made a decision that day-a decision that would change our lives forever, but it also put other things in motion. Not that I approve of being your Twinkie, but you still got stuck in the cross fire and for that I'm sorry. No one deserves to walk around with that kind of guilt. Nothing could've changed the events of that night to us being here at this moment. Regardless of how I feel about everything else, you don't deserve to feel responsible for how things happened between me and your brother. He should've been honest about his reasons for wanting to leave. I'm not saying he needed to give a detailed account, but he shouldn't have used the party as a reason to get you all to leave. That wasn't right of him."

It feels good to finally say that to Jasper. It felt like I am able to breathe easier.

"Thank you, Bella-you've taken a great weight from me, but I would be lying if I didn't say that you talking to Alice would really make things better."

He at least has the decency to look sheepish at his request.

"You're a good husband, Jasper, but that's an issue for me and my therapist. Maybe after another ten grand or so, we can start to move past all of this."

He gives me an amused raised eyebrow and a look as if to say, "really therapy!"

"Yes, I have seen the light and apparently the light is a black leather chaise lounge and sentences that start with 'so how does that make you feel,' a lot can happen in five years that can change everything. Therapy just gives me an outlet to deal with everything."

Even I can hear the haunting distance in my voice. Five years can change everything. It can give you so much and take so much away. I pull myself away from the mirage of memories that are trying to break through the walls I've built.

"Well, I've got hungry boys to feed. Glad we could sort through all this."

I step back into the kitchen without looking at the faces that are always watching me these days. I focus on losing myself in my own mind.

Shut out the world, shut out the pain.

And for a few minutes, it actually feels like I'm in my own bubble that no one can break through.

~TLS~

Dinner is done and EJ is nicely tucked away for the night in his old room. The rest of the evening just passes quietly. No more confessions, no more talks of the past, just another evening like so many others that had been shared in this house.

It is discussed that Esme would take over EJ's schooling. Earlier when I went to pick him up, I never imagined that it would be for bullying. EJ being bullied not the other way around. A teacher caught the tail end of some boy making sexually inappropriate remarks to my son about me by telling him "to get ready to call him daddy after he makes me scream it." The little perv is eleven-his parents must be so proud.

Once we sat down and talked about it, we found out that this boy had been harassing EJ since the previous semester. Two teachers had filed complaints against the boy, and the principal did nothing. If not for everything else going on, I had ample reason to withdraw my son. So EJ is now in Grandma's school of learning, and the others will lend voice as needed.

I walk back into the living room after saying goodnight to EJ, when I decide to grab my notebook and sit outside. Over the past few years, music and writing have become my greatest outlets. My therapist tells me my words are my freedom, and I'm inclined to agree. As I sit there, not really giving conscious thought to what is going down on paper, I feel the charge in the air. Who needs vampire senses when you're connected for life? I had every intention of ignoring him until he leaves but he just stands there. After a few minutes, I huff out in frustration before I address him.

"Stalking is a crime in this state, in case you weren't aware."

"I didn't know that you knew I was here."

"Hence the education on the laws of this fine state. Was there something that you needed from me?" I tried; I really tried to keep the anger out of my voice. I know, logically at least, that Edward has a right to be upset with me. I know this but it doesn't make my anger lessen. Hearing him, seeing him—hell even smelling him—brings so much back and if I'm being honest, it's more hurt than anger.

My anger, my hurt are what I have to hold on to. These feelings keep my heart from skipping a beat; they keep me from becoming the lovesick doe-eyed teenager I once was. These feelings remind me that we once existed together; that it wasn't all a dream.

"I just wanted to see that you were okay. A lot happened today and I know I can't be the only one that's overwhelmed by all of this. I was also hoping that maybe we could sit down and talk soon. There's a lot that I feel like we both need to say, but I won't push you. I'm ready when you are."

"Maybe in a few days once things calm down, we can go to my house and talk. I can show you some of EJ's things, and we can just go from there." I finally turn my head to look at him. He's still more beautiful than anything I have ever seen, but his eyes have since lost the spark that was once there.

"Was there anything else that you needed? Because I really want to finish what I'm writing and head up to bed."

"No, nothing that can't wait, but I did want to say that I'm glad you found someone. It's probably none of my business, but if Jacob makes you happy then I'm glad that you were able to find each other."

"So glad you approve. Now if you don't mind, I would really like to get this done."

He walks back into the house without another word. I am left there with words swirling around in my head and a pain in my heart that I have long since learned to live with. I turn back to the paper in my lap, and this time I'm more conscious of what I'm writing, and the words just flow out of me. My pain is my art.

~TLS~

Finally when my hand is painfully cramped up, I trudge up the stairs to my bedroom. Feeling like the weight of the world had been placed on me, I collapse into bed and roll onto my side. Not even seconds later do I feel warm arms surround me, Jake. He is my sun, my joy, and in the worst of times, my peace. Finally feeling myself relax, I exhale for what feels like the first time all day.

"Are they close by?" I whisper into Jake's arm.

"No, they've gone deep into the woods. I can't even smell them."

"He thinks we're together."

"Did you correct him? Did you tell him about Ness?"

"Nope."

I let the "P" pop and wait for him to speak.

Jake lets out a breath, and I feel his warm air cocoon me like a blanket.

"You're making this harder than it needs to be, Bells."

"Yeah, I know." I sigh, feeling so many emotions well up inside of me.

"Trust me, Jake-I know."

So no love triangle. I love Jake and sometimes he gets the hard end of the stick in fics. Their relationship is going to be close but nothing romantic. The next chapter is in the works so I'm hoping to post quickly. Your reviews inspire me to keep writing.

You can find me on twitter EdwardsLoveMonk

Or

On FB as Edwards LoveMonkey

Till next time