[At the Loud house, there are people and cars outside the street. The family, except for Leni, are at the kitchen.]
Lynn: Man, I can't believe we're still going through with this.
Lana: I can't believe I have to be the other flower girl.
Lincoln: I can't believe I'm gonna kiss my own sister.
Lynn Sr.: Well, you heard what she said, this would make her truly happy.
Lisa: Well, she was above that emotion at her impromptu bachelorette party.
[Flashing back to a restaurant where the Loud girls are watching Leni feel drowsy over eating too much ribs. She laughs hysterically.]
Leni: O… M… Gosh… you guys, you're the best family I've ever had. Seriously, though… the best.
[She falls off the chair and still laughs hysterically.]
Leni: Here's a toast… to the best day… of my life.
[She spills a glass of soda on her face as everyone sighs.]
[ Flashing forward the the "wedding" at the Loud's.]
Rita: You guys, this day still means a lot to her, but I just wish there was still a way to end this mumbo-jumbo without crushing her heart.
Lisa: Fear not, mother,
[Lisa shows everyone the plan on a piece of paper.]
Lisa: Lincoln, when you and Leni are in the middle of the "i do's," you and Clyde will make a run for it, thus ending this nonsensical hoax, and we will get back to our lives.
[Lisa rolls up the paper.]
Rita: Wait, doesn't that count as crushing her heart?
Lori: I agree, but it's literally worth a shot.
Lincoln: [sigh] I guess it's showtime.
[Lincoln leaves the kitchen.]
Leni [off-screen]: Lori, help me with this zipper.
[Outside at the backyard, which is converted into an altar, there is a crowd, and Flip talks to Mr. Grouse]
Flip: So, the goofball one is receiving the "holy matrimony" treatment, eh?
Mr Grouse: I'm just here to watch it fail miserably.
[Clyde is sitting down with his dads, as Lincoln gets his attention by throwing a shoe at him.]
Lincoln: Pssst. Clyde. It's time to suit up.
Clyde: Ooh, sorry, dads, but I gotta go, uuuh, water the plants back at home. Those plants sure do need H2O.
[Clyde runs off and joins Lincoln.]
[Later, everyone is at the altar, Lola and Lana are throwing flowers on the way up, Lana pulls a disgruntled face, while Lola pulls a happy face. Luna plays the keyboard wit orchard sound. Lincoln and Clyde in disguise are at the altar. Rita, Lori, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lisa and Lily are standing beside the altar as bridesmaids. Then the crowd look b Leni revealing herself with a sparkling wedding dress, make-up on her face and a ravishing hairstyle. Lynn Sr. is giving her away.]
Leni: Isn't this totes wonderful, Dad?
Lynn Sr.: Uh, sure, sweetie. [whispering away from her] If only this wasn't fake.
[Leni and Lincoln & Clyde in the "Fiancé" disguise are standing at the altar.]
Minister: We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Leni Loud and ummm.
Lincoln [imitating]: Oh, Fiancé.
Minister: and Fiancé. Do anyone of you have any vows to share with us.
Leni: I have. Fiancé, when I said this moment would make me happy for the rest of my life, I meant every single word.
[Lincoln gulps.]
Leni: And now, you're already making me the happiest girl in Royal Woods. I can't wait to have this great life with you, and my family will support me. Won't you guys?
[The others pretend to smile.]
Minister: Fiancé, do you have any vows.
Lincoln [imitating]: Yes. I hope that you stay happy. No matter what.
Minister: Now then, do you take Fiance to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Leni: I totes do.
Minister: And Fiancé, do you take Leni Loud to be your lawfully wedded wife.
[Lincoln hesitates and starts sweating.]
Lincoln: I… I… I…. [Lisa gets Lincoln's attention and points him to the end of the altar.]
Lincoln: Look! Someone's selling fashion magazines.
Leni: Where?
[Lincoln and Clyde in disguise run away from Leni while she isn't looking. They trip on a shoelace. Their disguise breaks off and they land on the table with the food. A cake jumps off into the air and is about to land on Leni.]
Lincoln: Leni! Look Out!
[Leni looks back, and she sees the cake falling from the sky, and it lands on her, and getting pieces of cake all over her dress. Everyone gasps. And Leni sees Lincoln and Clyde with the torn disguise.]
Leni: LINCOLN?! What the heck is going on?
Lincoln: [sighs] Alright, you got me. I'm Fiancé. I was the one pretending to be your, well, fiancé.
[Leni gasps. Her heart is zoomed in as it's crushed to pieces.]
Clyde: Don't forget about me carrying him for a long, painful time.
Lincoln: Not now, Clyde.
Lori: And we were literally in on it.
Leni: But, I don't understand.
Lincoln: Of course you don't understand. This whole wedding is a sham.
[Everyone gasps.]
Lincoln: Look, I know you really wanted this wedding to happen, but you don't need a wedding to be happy
Rita: Your brother makes a good point, Leni. You can be happy with your love for fashion.
Leni: But... what about this ring. It was my fortune.
[A stranger pops up.]
Stranger: Oh, Look. There's my engagement ring, there must've been a mixup at the Chinese restaurant. You see, I was supposed to propose to my girlfriend. Well, thank keeping it safe for me. Bye.
[The stranger leaves in his car. Leni pulls a sad face.]
Rita: Are you OK, sweetie?
Leni: [sniffs] Yeah. [sniffs] I feel completely, really fine.
Lincoln: Really? [Leni then pulls an even sadder face.]
Leni: NO I'M NOOOOOT! [sobbing] MY BIG DAY IS RUINED! MY HEART IS CRUSHED! AND-AND I'M GOING INTO DEEP DEPRESSION! [She sobs all the way down to the backdoor, as she is repeatedly tripping on her wedding dress.]
Flip: I'm outta here.
[Everyone else leaves the Loud's in disgust.]
Mr. Grouse: I knew this would be a total disaster.
Howard McBride: Young man, we are going to have a serious talk about white lies.
Frankie: Hey, remember me. You owe me a lotta mula for all the wedding equipment.
[Frankie gives Lynn Sr. and Rita a bill. They are shocked when they see the price.]
Lincoln: You know, guys. I think I feel awful about telling Leni the truth.
Lori: Well she literally had to be told somehow.
Luan: But look at the bright side, at least she didn't say we're "wed" to her. [laughs] Get it?
[Luan gets knocked down by Lucy.]
Lynn Sr.: Come on, everyone. Let's clean up.
[The family go back in the house, but Lola runs back to pick up the bouquet.]