Hello everyone! I just have one quick announcement - I did something in this chapter I said I wouldn't do. There is smut in the middle of the chapter instead of at the end. I'm terribly sorry. Also - don't be so mad at Kurt yet, he has his reasons for why he is acting the way he is. Enjoy. :)

Chapter 4

"Kurt!" Blaine's voice broke out in a panicked sob.

Kurt's heart sped up at the sound of Blaine's voice and he ran into the apartment, expecting to see things broken or stolen. Nevertheless, when he ran through the door he almost knocked Blaine over. Everything seemed to be in place, but Blaine's face looked heartbroken. "What's going on?" Kurt tried to peer over his shoulder to see what was making Blaine so upset.

"Abu's gone!" Blaine cried, "We have to go find him! I can't believe I left the fucking door open. I'm such an idiot."

Kurt put a hand on Blaine's chest to soothe him, "Blaine, he probably is just running around the neighborhood. It's New York City, there are tons of people walking around outside, maybe someone found him."

Blaine had tears running down his face; the mill of emotions from the night rendered him unable to contain himself. "Kurt what if he's hurt? What if we don't find him?" Blaine slid down the wall he had been leaning against. "It's all my fault! I'm such a freaking scatterbrain!"

Kurt's heart panged against his chest, he hated seeing Blaine bring himself down, "Baby, everyone makes mistakes. We were both so excited to go to that stupid party that we weren't paying attention."

Blaine sniffled, "A party we didn't even go to."

Kurt used his thumb to brush away tears from Blaine's cheeks, "Go walk around the neighborhood, okay? I'll make some phone calls to our neighbors and see if they saw him."

Blaine nodded quickly, "Call Beatrice von Miller first."

Kurt shuddered but nodded, "Of course. We'll find him, Blaine."

Blaine stood and grabbed a flashlight from the closet. "I have my phone," he placed a gentle kiss against Kurt's lips and whispered, "I'm sorry," before he ran through the door.

Kurt watched Blaine sprint to the stairs and let his own tears fall. He had tried to be brave for Blaine, but what if Abu really was gone? In the city that never sleeps, traffic was just as heavy at night as it was during the day. Kurt tried to push aside the feeling and started looking through his phone for the numbers of his neighbors.

First he called Mrs. von Miller, who answered quickly, "von Miller residence?" She sounded like she just woke up, and Kurt realized that calling the older woman near midnight probably wasn't going to win them any points any time soon.

"Mrs. von Miller, hello, this is Kurt Anderson…uhm, you might remember my dog Abu…"

The woman snorted, "I do remember your mutt. Now why are you calling me near midnight? You young people these days have no sense of respect…"

"Mrs. von Miller, I do apologize, but Abu has gone missing and we thought perhaps he had gone to find Antoinette…" Kurt mentally cursed himself for calling the woman. Of course Abu didn't know where the von Millers lived.

"Well, Mr. Anderson, I'm sorry but I cannot help you, and I would hope you won't call again with such trivial manners. Antoinette von Miller has practice tomorrow for a show and she needs her beauty rest. I own a show dog, not a mutt, remember that." The woman abruptly hung up the phone.

"Shit," Kurt spat, looking through his phone for more names he could call. He hoped Blaine would find Abu soon, because one of the down sides of living in a better part of the city was that everyone around them was older, and most of them were already in bed.

Blaine panted as he ran down the streets, shining his flashlight in every alleyway and on every doorstep. People were looking at him like he was crazy, but it didn't bother him. He needed to find Abu.

He picked up his pace as he got closer to the doggy park, because if Abu wasn't on his way there, then he definitely found a way into the park.

Sure enough, as Blaine got closer to the park, he saw a telltale pile of dirt on the sidewalk and a burrow path under the gated fence. Blaine slowed down and peered through the bars. "Abu!" he called, seeing a shadowed lump under the fence.

The dog merely whimpered and continued to lie under the bench. Blaine groaned because he realized he would have to either scale the fence or jump over it. Mentally cursing himself for being so short, he tried to stick his shoes into the groove between bars, to find that his feet were too wide. "Abu! Get over here!" he yelled again, bending down and whistling low to the dog.

Abu stayed put.

"Jesus," Blaine muttered, backing up and trying to use his upper body strength to get himself over the fence. He tried to swing his leg over the wrought iron, but merely smacked his shin off the bar. He jumped around on one leg for a bit, cursing himself and swore he would go to the gym Monday morning.

Blaine was about to attempt another jump when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and answered it quickly, "Kurt! I found him. But I can't get to him to see if he's okay and he won't come to me."

"Where is he?" Kurt voice was filled with a mixture of happiness, tiredness, and fear.

"The park. I can't get over the fence!" Blaine groaned again, peering around the corner to see if there was another way in, "I can try to pick the lock I think…"

"Don't," Kurt said quickly, "That would only ruin it. I'll be there as soon as I can. I can probably get over the fence."

"Damn you and your long legs," Blaine cursed.

"You like them," Kurt chided before hanging up quickly.

Blaine nodded to himself before attempting again.

This time, he was able to pull himself up, but he hung precariously in the air for a few seconds before kicking one foot over the fence and rolled over. He landed with a thud on the ground, and laid there for a second, the wind knocked out of him.

Abu, upon seeing Blaine on the ground, trotted over and checked to make sure he was okay.

"Abu," Blaine sighed, sitting up and burying his face deep in the dirty fur, "Why did you leave?"

The dog merely whined and laid his head on Blaine's leg, curling up beside him. Blaine felt the tears well up again in his eyes as he cuddled his dog. He scratched Abu behind the ears to calm the dog down, "Please don't do it again, Abu, I don't think I could ever lose you." Blaine cried again, though now he wasn't sure what it was for.

He thought he'd lost Abu, which was possibly the closest thing he'd ever get to a child.

Kurt ran down the street, panting when he finally got to the park. He saw the dirt, but didn't see Blaine. He ran down the side, expecting to see Blaine at another entrance. He then saw a gate that wasn't locked, so he figured Blaine found that gate and was inside. Opening the gate quickly, he ran towards the front, the only place they'd ever really taken Abu.

When he got closer, he saw Abu and Blaine huddled together on the ground. Blaine's back was completely covered in dirt and Abu was filthy, but as soon as Kurt got near them, he fell to his knees and hugged them close.

"Abu," he cooed, allowing Abu to lick his face, something he rarely didn't allow to happen, "Abu I'm so glad Daddy found you."

Kurt felt his tears give way again at the look of pure contentment and happiness on Blaine's face as he wrapped his arms around his husband and dog.

They sat there in silence for a while, until Kurt realized that it was nearing 2 AM and they were both technically illegally in the park.

"How'd you get in there anyway?" Blaine asked, linking his fingers with Kurt's as they led Abu back towards the apartment, "You don't even have dirt on you."

"The open gate on the east entrance," Kurt laughed, "Please tell me you found it."

Blaine shook his head, "No…I actually have dirt down my pants right now because I fell down the fence."

Kurt bumped into Blaine, "Well, you found him. That's all that matters."

Blaine rolled his eyes, "I should have at least looked around. I'm so dumb sometimes."

"Hey now," Kurt stopped walking, pulling Blaine towards him, "You are not. You forget things and get lost in the moment, but you aren't dumb. Don't say that, please."

"But what if Abu had been…."

"Don't bother yourself with what ifs Blaine. You're allowed to make mistakes." Kurt pulled Blaine down the street, "Let's get you and Abu to the showers okay? Everything is fine."

Blaine nodded, smiling slightly at his husband, "I love you, you know that, right?" Blaine still felt the sting from the fight with Hayden earlier that night.

"And I love you," Kurt returned, returning the smile softly. He knelt down, "and I love you," he said to Abu who just licked his face again.

"You're spoiling him. I thought only I was allowed to do that," Blaine said innocently, not quite meeting Kurt's eyes.

"If you ever licked my face, I swear to god Blaine…" Kurt put his finger in Blaine's chest, "Don't even think about it."

"You like the dog more than you like me!" Blaine acted shocked.

Kurt leaned close, "You get a shower and then I'll show you how much I like you," he whispered hotly in Blaine's ear, the lust from earlier running through his veins.

Blaine quickly got Abu into their apartment building and they took the elevator – something Blaine hated doing because he hated being lazy, but he wanted to get upstairs as quickly as possible.

"Are you going to give Abu a bath or do I have to do that first?" Blaine asked, already stripping off his pants.

Kurt was going to make Blaine give Abu his bath, but one look at Blaine standing there caused all of Kurt's blood to boil, "I'll do it. Just go get clean."

Twenty minutes later Kurt finished giving Abu the quickest bath of his life. Kurt looked at his arms and undershirt – they were completely coated with dirt and mud. Kurt was about to jump into the guest room shower when he had a better thought.

He made sure Abu was asleep in his bed in the second guest room and made his way to the master bathroom. He could hear Blaine singing over the stream of the shower.

Kurt poked his head in the bathroom and saw Blaine's shadow and could distinctly make out what appeared to be a mohawk.

Kurt pulled off his clothes and slipped in behind Blaine, wrapping his arms around Blaine's waist. Blaine jumped and turned around, his eyes wide.

"Kurt! Shit! You almost gave me a heart attack! You could've been a murderer or something!" he shouted, hand flying to his bare chest. "Dear lord after the night we just had.."

Kurt silenced Blaine's unnecessary panic by cutting off his rant with a hard kiss. He tangled one hand in Blaine's hair, ruining his mohawk and bringing him even closer as he ran his tongue over the other man's bottom lip.

He steadied the other hand on Blaine's exposed, wet chest feeling his racing heart beneath his own. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist as he deepened the kiss, thrusting his tongue into Kurt's mouth and sweeping it around sensually. "Are you that upset?" Kurt murmured into the kiss.

Blaine didn't answer and instead nibbled his upper lip while moving his hands down Kurt's back and grabbing Kurt's ass, sending warm sensations straight to his cock. Kurt broke the kiss and trailed his lips down Blaine's neck, sucking and even biting as he went lower.

He latched onto one spot on Blaine's collarbone, causing Blaine to move his hands on the wall, trying to find something to hold on to, he settled for putting them back on Kurt. Kurt kissed down his chest and stopped at his nipple to draw it into his mouth and suck it until he could feel Blaine go stiff against him.

"Oh my god, Kurt," moaned Blaine softly when Kurt turned his attention to the other nipple, running his tongue over it while still kneading the other. Kurt pushed Blaine up against the tiled wall roughly.

Kurt smiled up at Blaine as his moved down his chest until he was eye level with Blaine's cock. He studied it for a moment - relishing just being able to look at it and appreciate it - before running his tongue slowly over the tip; tasting a mix of precum and soap.

He felt Blaine shudder and groan.

"Fuck, Kurt. Don't tease me like that." Blaine's eyes were completely blown black with lust as he thread his hands into Kurt's hair.

Kurt ran his lips over the tip again, just to taunt Blaine and show him who exactly was in charge before suddenly taking the whole thing into his mouth. Blaine let out a strangled breath and splayed his hands against the wall as Kurt started moving his mouth over him.

Kurt's hands rubbed Blaine's thighs and cupped his ass as he took him deeper into his mouth, running his tongue along the length of his hard cock until Blaine was panting. He took his mouth off of Blaine to give him a sexy smirk before putting his lips at the base of the shaking man's erection and licking up until he reached the tip which he sucked briefly before standing up and kissing Blaine hard on the mouth, placing his hands on either side of his face and drawing him closer.

Blaine could taste himself on Kurt's tongue and pulled him closer, rutting up against the taller man. They kissed desperately - teeth clashing and biting each other's lips until they were sore.

Blaine reached down to wrap his hand around Kurt's now painfully hard erection while simultaneously tangling his tongue with Kurt's. He felt the taller man stiffen and let out a low groan into his mouth as he began moving his hand on Kurt's wet, stiff cock.

Kurt was close to coming from the second Blaine touched him, but Blaine seemed to realize this by giving Kurt's dick a final squeeze before letting go - much to Kurt's disappointment. Blaine rested his forehead against Kurt's, looking his husband deep in the eyes.

"Blaine, what the hell?" he whined, the tables now turned as he leaned against the tile wall, letting the water run over his body.

"You want it to be over so soon?" laughed Blaine darkly before sticking his fingers in Kurt's mouth.

As they kissed, Blaine moved his hands down Kurt's porcelain body until he reached his entrance and tentatively thrust a finger inside while pressing up against the other man's cock.

Kurt bucked at the intrusion and moved his hips against Blaine's skin, hoping he could sense his growing desperation. Blaine didn't pick up on the hint though, and was kissing Kurt's neck, momentarily distracting him.

"Another, please Blaine, shit," he whimpered. Blaine carefully entered another finger and started moving them faster while moving closer to Kurt's lower half to make things easier. With his other hand, he took Kurt's erection into his hand once more, pumping furiously until Kurt was moaning loud and unashamedly.

"I'm going to fuck you now, Kurt," he said bluntly. "I want to hear you," he added harshly, and Kurt simply nodded quickly.

"I need you inside of me now Blaine, please," he whispered hungrily.

Before he could give Kurt a chance to recover, Blaine spun Kurt around so that his chest was up again the cool tile. There would be no time for lube, and Blaine knew from previous experience that water would be enough.

Blaine lowered his mouth to Kurt's entrance and swirled his tongue around until it was inside. He thrust his tongue in and out until he was sure he wouldn't hurt Kurt too much.

He used his hands to slowly guide himself inside Kurt and he felt the man take in a sharp breath of pain. He moved his hands to Kurt's waist to steady himself and kissed the back of his neck gently and nuzzle into his hair, "Are you okay?" he muttered against his pale skin.

"I'm better than okay," Kurt said as he pressed his cheek to the tile and Blaine inched deeper inside of him, pulling back every few centimeters as he continued to stretch Kurt out. After what seemed like an eternity, Blaine has worked his way all the way in, loving the Kurt felt around his cock.

He bit down on his lip, trying to contain the urge to ravish Kurt hard and fast just yet.

Kurt whimpered, pressing his cheek into the cool tile wall. "Fuck, Blaine. Start moving, I'm begging you."

Blaine held tighter onto Kurt's hips as he started moving in and out slowly at first. Kurt's breathing hitched and he started bucking back into Blaine slightly once the movement became increasingly easier and the pain started fading away. Kurt groaned against the wall, relishing the feeling of Blaine hot against his back and the cold tile pressing into his chest.

Just the way he was panting and pressing against the wall was almost too much for Blaine to take as he started thrusting faster and faster until they were both groaning loudly.

"Fuck Kurt, this feels so good. I'm close." Blaine shouted in a husky voice.

"I know how you feel," panted Kurt. Blaine wanted to heighten Kurt's pleasure so he grabbed Kurt's cock as he started practically slamming into the taller man, jacking him off quickly - his hand moving easily and fast, slickened with water.

"Blaine! Oh god!" Kurt cried out suddenly as he came all over Blaine's hand.

It took only one more thrust until Blaine was coming inside of Kurt, long and deep as he let out a loud cry.

Blaine slid out, causing Kurt to hiss. He turned Kurt around and kissed his husband, using all the strength he had left to hold Kurt up.

"I was almost clean," Blaine chastised.

"Well, I'll just have to help you," Kurt giggled, grabbing the soap and winking at Blaine. The two boys spent the rest of the shower flinging bubbles at each other and laughing.

Monday morning came far too quickly for both men.

Kurt had a day off because of the fashion shows in the city, and he had planned to use that to put the finishing touches to their separate workspaces. It had been a slow process, but he was almost done. He also had insisted that Blaine take the day off as well.

Blaine mixed the green peppers into his egg mixture when Kurt came into the kitchen. "You're up early," Kurt mentioned, pouring himself some coffee and pecking Blaine's cheek.

"I wanted to make you breakfast," Blaine smiled, "Your phone has been ringing by the way."

Kurt grabbed his phone and realized he had five missed calls, all from Hayden. Kurt figured she wanted to apologize for being so rude two nights before, so he perched himself on the couch and hit her name.

"Hello Mr. Anderson," Hayden greeted him, her voice sounding tired.

"Hayden, you rang?" Kurt still wasn't over the sting of her words.

She sighed, "A bunch of your pieces were sold this morning. Do you want to come pick up the money?"

Kurt nodded and then realized she couldn't see him, "Yeah. Let me eat breakfast with Blaine and then I'll be over. We need to talk."

He heard her sigh again, "Okay. Bye."

Blaine came through carrying their plates to the dining room, "What was that about?"

"Hayden said she sold some of the things I made. I told her we needed to talk." Kurt winced, he didn't want to start this conversation with Blaine on a day when they both had so much to do together.

Blaine nodded, obviously having the same thought as Kurt. "She just let her emotions get the best of her, she'll apologize."

Kurt shrugged, getting up and following Blaine.

They sat together holding hands in silence. Neither of them knew what to say to the other.

Kurt felt like he either had to spill everything to Blaine or keep it all inside, and he wasn't sure what he wanted to do.

Blaine felt like he knew Kurt needed space. He also knew that whatever Kurt decided, he'd be with Kurt until Kurt decided he didn't want him anymore.

They finished breakfast and cleaned up together, still not saying anything. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, it just was.

Kurt leaned against the counter, "I'm going to go, I guess."

Blaine nodded, "Hey," he lifted Kurt's chin, "Be excited. You just sold more of your stuff. Your name is getting out there. Don't let other things get you down."

Kurt smiled at Blaine, "I love you so much, you know that right?"

Blaine wrinkled his nose, "I love you too, Kurt."

Kurt decided to walk towards Hayden's instead of taking the car. He needed the crisp morning air to clear his head.

He needed to figure out what he really wanted.

He slipped into the boutique and saw Hayden handing a bag to a customer, smiling at them.

When the customer left, she smiled slightly at her friend, "That was another one of your pieces. The red skirt, the one that took you ages."

Kurt smiled, "Hayden….we can't do this. You're the first friend Blaine and I made here. Please don't let this little fight tear us apart."

"I'm so sorry, Kurt," Hayden gushed, "It's just…you said before you wanted kids and I got really excited because you two would be great parents. And kids need great parents, you know? I lost my parents when I was really young so I know what it means to need parents. So many kids have parents that suck, Kurt, and you and Blaine could be great. God, I'm lecturing again." She clapped her hand over her mouth.

Kurt leaned against a display, surveying her with his eyes, "Why does everyone have to remember me saying I wanted kids?"

"I think because we all want to know why you changed your mind. Even Blaine." Hayden always had a soft spot when it came to Blaine.

Kurt's eyes locked with her blue ones, and he felt like she knew everything that was going on inside his head. He bit his lip and looked away, "I…Hayden I can't have this talk with you before I have it with Blaine."

Hayden nodded, "That I understand…but can you at least tell me why you changed your mind?"

"I didn't." Kurt said simply.

What is Kurt hiding? Will Abu and Antoinette von Miller always be apart? Could Blaine really stand not being a daddy?