I've split what would have been Chapter 4 in half, and this is the first part. 'C is for Centra' will be Chapter 5. Reviews eagerly awaited, as always. Enjoy!

Chapter 4: Shadows of the Past

The dark haired man with a diagonal scar across his face had almost boarded the Ragnarok shuttle, when Caryn rushed out to him. "Sq… Umm, I mean, Commander Leonhart…"

"Yes." Squall turned to face her, his face impassive. "What is it?"

After several tries, Caryn finally managed to say, "I want to be a Seed."

Squall didn't respond. "You quit after Trabia was destroyed." He said finally.

"I know, but…" She coughed, and tried again. "Almost all my friends were dead, Sir. I lost hope. But I won't let you down again."

Squall just waited. Caryn felt her anger rising. I know you'll say no! Just get on with it!

"You really think you're good enough to be a Seed Cadet?" Squall asked.

Caryn felt her anger boil over. "What about them?" She pointed at Zell and Quistis, inside the shuttle, not caring that she was being stupid. "I found the Adelists, when they couldn't! And they're full Seeds!" Then she bypassed stupid, and jumped straight to suicidal, by pointing to Seifer "And he abandoned his post, and didn't do a damn thing…"

Her voice trailed off, as Seifer headed towards her, gunblade raised. She wondered how much being cut in half would hurt.

"Seifer!" Squall barked. "Back in the shuttle, or you're out of Garden. Now!"

Seifer snarled, but obeyed.

Squall took a folded letter out of his pocket, using a fire spell to melt a blob of sealing wax. He pressed his Griever ring, shaped like a lion, against the wax, and handed the sealed letter to her. "Fine. Give this to Headmaster Cid at Balamb Garden, and start training."

"I'm in?" Caryn couldn't believe it. "Why?"

But Squall had already entered the shuttle.

Irvine watched Selphie give Squall one of her 'attack hugs'. "You let her in Garden! I didn't think you would!"

"Why not?" Squall shrugged. "She was alone, armed only with one weak spell, a cheap pistol, and two rusty daggers. She identified a heavily armed terrorist group, blew their cover, and killed several of them. Full Seed exams aren't that difficult."

"She can't fight." Seifer objected.

"She can learn. That's good enough." Said Squall. "She's already cunning, and that's better."

"Commander Leonhart." The voice came over the cockpit speakers. "This is General Estoc. Brute's hostage has called in. He regained consciousness in his car, with all his cash and a hooded overcoat missing, and Brute long gone."

"Can you trace him?"

"Difficult, but maybe. We're advertising him on TV as an escaped mental patient, harmless unless provoked. Any confirmed sightings, we'll let you know. Estoc out."

"He could still be dangerous." Quistis warned.

"I don't think so." Said Squall. "Not now he's sane. He didn't try to kill me, even when he knew he was losing. He kills those he hates, but he doesn't hate Esthar, or Seed."

"So who's he hating now?" Irvine was cleaning his shotgun, bored with the conversation.

"Whoever made him like that." Squall said. "And himself, I think. He said that this world was mine, not his, and that I was more than he could ever be."

"So he knows you're the better fighter, huh?" Zell looked pleased.

"He didn't mean that, Zell." Squall looked thoughtful. "He meant something else…"

"But we can change him back, right?" Rinoa smiled. "We can figure out what happened! We can restore him, make him human!"

"No, we can't." Squall didn't look happy. "We don't know what was done to him."

"But we can find out!" Rinoa hadn't noticed. "Once we've studied the biotechnology…"

"Study it?" Squall looked incredulous. "As soon as we find that biotech, we destroy it all! It's too dangerous to do anything else!"

"But…" Rinoa was shocked. "What about Brute? If we don't change him back, he'll never be human again!"

"I can't do anything about that."

"He saved your sister, your father, and your friends, Squall! You have to help him!"

"I can't. I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Rinoa screamed in his face, and Squall, tough as he was, took a step back. "So sorry, that you can't be bothered to help him? He'll be a monster forever, and you're sorry?"

Irvine looked at Selphie, rolling his eyes. Here we go again…

"I'll help him the best I can. We'll look after him. At Garden…" Squall shut up, but it was too late. He'd already said too much.

"You want him to be a Seed?" Rinoa exploded. "That's it, isn't it? You want him to stay a monster! That way, he's a better mercenary! He can kill more people, earn more money for you and your precious Garden! You don't care about his feelings! If he's human, he's not useful, is he? That's all you care about! What you can use!"

"It's not like that!" Squall shouted back. "I want to help him, but as soon as we find the technology, it has to be destroyed!"

"It might not take long!" Rinoa protested. "If we kept it for a few days…"

"We can't keep it for an hour! Hynedammit, Rinoa! What if we switch it on by accident, and it changes US?" Squall slammed his fists against the wall. "And even if we can study it safely, someone could steal it, and take it somewhere we can't trace! This biotech could create an army of monsters, and we wouldn't be able to stop them! We have to destroy it, and this could be the only chance we'll get!"

"It's the only chance we'll get to save Brute! We can't give up on him!"

"Rinoa, I don't want this!" Squall took a deep breath. "Brute seems like a good guy. He saved Sis, Quistis, Zell, Laguna and others, and I'll always be grateful. I wish I could help him, but I can't put everyone at risk just because I owe him. Besides, he's clearly a fighter."

As soon as he heard the last sentence, Irvine was waving his arms frantically, shaking his head and mouthing NO, hoping to catch Squall's attention. Things were bad enough at this point, but if Squall would just shut up, they could still work things out. But the next thing Squall said would be incredibly stupid, and then…

"And as he's a fighter" Squall continued, unaware of Irvine. "He's put his life at risk before, for the greater good. He knows what's really important. He's aware of the risks. He'll understand."

Rinoa was silent. Squall looked confused, but not as much as he was going to be.

"I've trained as a fighter." Rinoa said finally, clenching her fists behind her back. "Should I understand?"

A look of dawning horror crept across Squall's face.

"Should I understand when someone turns me into a monster, and you just abandon me? Should I understand then, YOU BASTARD!" She punched Squall in the face, knocking him back against the wall.

She's been taking lessons from Zell Irvine thought, but didn't say anything. Even he knew better than that.

Squall wiped the blood off his face. "Rin…"

Rinoa turned away, refusing to look at him.

"Fine." Squall sighed. "Selphie, you're the pilot. I'll plot the route. Irvine, report to Xu."

"If you want my advice, Squall, you'd better…"

"I don't, Kinneas! Now report!" Squall disappeared into the cockpit with Selphie. Rinoa sat down, blankly staring at nothing.

Another Leonhart screwup. Great. Irvine dialled Balamb Garden.

"This is Assistant Commander Xu."

"It's Irvine, reporting that we're flying to Centra to destroy some dangerous Centran biotech. Good enough?"

"No. Which Seeds are involved?"

"C'mon, Xu! It's us! You know that!"

"Please state all Seed personnel and their status for the records, Kinneas."

Irvine groaned. "Okay. Irvine, Selphie, Quistis, Zell, full Seeds. Rinoa, Seifer, cadet Seeds. Squall, complete asshole."

There was silence on the other end of the phone, then "Could you repeat that last part, Kinneas?"

"Nah. Can't be bothered." Irvine hung up.

That night, the voices in his head were screaming. The man gripped his sabre, striking and blocking endlessly in the derelict building, the exercise driving back the shadows in his head, calming the voices.

He saw them, in his mind's eye. Screaming at him. Calling him a freak, a monster, a demon. An image for every man, woman and child that he'd killed.

And there were millions of them.

He accepted what they called him. It was the truth, so it didn't bother him. He knew what he was.

Then the images faded, as they always did. But then he saw the girl, screaming at him.

Please, you have to understand! You have to stop this!

He stumbled, dropping the sabre as he fell. Then he saw Melissa, her stare proclaiming him guilty. You hurt her. You terrified her.

I'm sorry! His mind screamed. I never meant for that to happen!

Did you mean to protect her? By almost killing her friends?

I didn't think! I DIDN'T KNOW! He collapsed. I was insane…

But that was no excuse. Denial of reality was more addictive than any drug, and he had tasted it, and fallen.

But the girl as she left, mouthing she was sorry. Why? No human could ever feel sorry for anything they did to him. Being what he was, how could they?

But she had. Could he find her, and apologise?

No. He would not deny reality again, however tempting. The girl only felt compassion through ignorance. She didn't know what he was. He couldn't let her know. There'd been blood on him after killing her attackers, and she'd been scared of him then. So if she knew what he really was, all the terrible things he'd done…

She'd go insane. He would never allow that.

And she had protection. The scarred man, with strength and skill to match his own. When they'd fought, neither had tried to kill the other. The scarred man had proved his honour. He was worthy.

But naïve, for thinking them alike. The scarred man was human, when he never was, and never could be.

So what now? The base was waiting for him, but there was nothing there. Now the world had no place for him, his purpose was done.

He remembered travelling for days through forests and wilderness, never seeing another human presence. Perfect. He would exist there, and wait for death to find him. If combat or sickness refused to claim him, age eventually would. He would die there, with his remains consumed by the animals.

And with no trace of him, it would finally end.

At last.

Gripping his sabre, he turned to leave the building, and something felt wrong. Very wrong. As a killer born, bred, and trained, he trusted his instincts.

He heard a rattle, and glanced in its direction through a broken window.

A dazzling burst of light exploded in his eyes, blinding him. He could hear people rushing in. He blinked desperately, but could only see faint, distorted shapes.

Anything defective is a weakness. Abandon all weakness. Words he knew well.

He shut his eyes, and listened. Heavy breathing was fast approaching on his right, eager for a kill.

He obliged, stepping forward as he swept his sabre diagonally upwards. He felt the tension of cleaving through flesh, and heard a scream, fading to a choked gurgle as his blade reached neck height.

There was a gasp to his left. He moved quickly, stabbing just above the origin of the noise. A hiss, and hot blood sprayed on his weapon hand and face. A thud as a body collapsed on the dirt floor.

He kept moving, knowing it was his only chance.

The hiss of a sword being drawn, just ahead of him. Most attacks came to the body. He guarded on a slant, to cover the greatest area…

The block connected. He pushed his sabre forward, and punched where he heard breathing, hitting a face. The blade he was blocking faltered, and he lunged, grabbed the weapon arm and taking the sword as the body collapsed.

Something blunt hit the back of his head, and he stumbled forward before stabbing behind. It connected with a scream of pain, but no body collapsed. What felt like a club hit his chest, and there were sounds of breathing all around him. He whirled, blades cleaving flesh, but there were too many. Weapons slammed into him from all directions, and his balance failed him.

We created you. As he fell, he saw his teacher. Why did you betray us?

You created a perfect killer. His muzzy thoughts responded, as darkness claimed him. What did you expect?

So Brute was responsible for the deaths of millions – anyone think that's excessive? Who were they, and why did he do it? And who is Melissa? (She's not in the game, so don't bother looking.) Stay tuned!