Alone

Girl POV

I listen to Tobias and Marcus's convocation as they eat, I hear how Tobias is going to be able to get away from this hell hole and I am so happy for him. He will be able to get away from the beatings he will be able to become strong.

I know by how angry he is that Dauntless is best for him, the way he punched the wall out of anger, means he will be able to make it. If he just focuses that anger towards something else, like training. He will learn how to control it all. Then he won't need me anymore, then I won't have to worry about being strong for him because he doesn't need me anymore, he will make friends and make a new family. Not me. He lived without me for 16 years; he will probably forget me in no time.

What if he doesn't though? What if he stays here because of you, because he wants to make sure you are safe? You know that he is selfless, he doesn't know it himself, he doesn't see himself, but he would stay for you. A voice says in my head and I shake my head.

"No, he wouldn't, he doesn't even know me." I mutter to myself, trying to convince myself that he wouldn't stay. I wanted to be certain though that he won't stay, I need to tell him to go. To go and find himself elsewhere because he will regret it for the rest of his life if he stayed here because of me.

I lay on the bed going back to listening, I freeze when I realise what they are talking about. They are talking about last night. What is he thinking? Does he want me to get killed? Does he not realise what he is doing? I am already getting his beatings! I sigh deeply as I the memory of earlier comes to mind.

I hear the front door open, I turn grunting and gasping in pain just to look at the clock. No it can't be Tobias which means it is…As if on cue Marcus comes pounding down the stairs. If I could move I would be in the corner cowering right now, but my abdomen hurts, every single little movement drives agony through my body. So I just look at Marcus who is glaring daggers at me.

"Get up! You will be getting Tobias's beatings as well as your own until Saturday." I slowly start sitting up gasping from the pain that hit me, it felt like I was being stabbed all over again, I bite my lip hard to stop myself from screaming. Marcus was already growing impatient.

"I said get up!" He yanked me up in one swift movement, I bite my lip harder, and I feel liquid slowly pouring in my mouth. I must have burst my own lip.

"Take your shirt off already! Tobias will be back soon!" He yells at me and I slip it off with my back turned to him, seconds after it is off I feel it the belt on my back, I feel the leather sticking and pulling off my skin, I feel the belt pulling and tearing at my back. I couldn't help but sob and cry. After the fifth whip he stops putting his belt back on, he storms back upstairs. I listen for another 10 minutes before I hear the front door open and close again.

"Wow he came home just to whip me." I mutter to myself before getting up letting a cry escape my lips.

I push the memory away and start listening again, I hear how Tobias is asking about dishes but Marcus isn't having any of it, I gulp hard. I am going to get it, he is sending Tobias upstairs so he can come down here and blame it all on me.

I hear Tobias walk up the stairs and as soon as the noise fades the door to the basement opens. Come on… I have been stabbed and whipped today, I am going to die. A slow and painful death. I think as I hear the sound of Marcus's footsteps coming down the stairs.

"You heard all of those question Tobias was asking? That…that is why I never wanted you to leave. Yet you disobeyed me." I look at him, my eyes were wide of fear, I know I shouldn't be talking but he needs to know why I done it, to save Tobias's life.

"You were losing it, you were going to-" I start to explain I want to lie through my teeth tell him that I was trying to save him from all of the question of how Tobias died but I was cut off by him.

"I told you not to speak, girl. When will you ever learn?" he replies, the next thing I know there is excruciating pain in my side, then a hand covering my mouth as I scream. "Shut up, Girl. Tobias is upstairs. We can't have him know that his dream was real now can we?" He spits at me, my whole body is trembling, I look down and all I see is blood and a knife in my side, my eyes widen. What is it with him stabbing me all of a sudden?

His hand keeps tightly clasped around my mouth as he pulled his blade out I cry out falling to the ground. I look down to see blood gushing out my wound. I crawl to the bathroom sobbing and crying, It felt like my side had be cut and being pulled apart.

I groan in pain as I finally get to bathroom. I grab the first aid kit biting my lip hard so I do not scream. I grab the usual antiseptic wipes, stitching and bandages. I pull my shirt off groaning loudly but it is muffled as I put my hand over my mouth biting my hand hard.

I need something to numb the pain, everything hurts so much. I look through the first aid kit praying that I can use to stop the pain. That is when I find something that I never thought I would use; anaesthetic, I pull the needle out and stab it in my side. I feel pain for only another moment before it subsides and I am pulled into darkness.

I thought that my dreams would be peaceful with anaesthetic but I was wrong, I was haunted by what would happen when Tobias left.

"This is all your fault you bitch. He would never have left if you just stayed down here. You will regret being born." He yells at me.

"I-I…" I stutter with fear, I am trembling in the corner closing my eyes not wanting to see what weapon he has with him. Is it his belt? Or will it be the knife again? For the third time within a few days.

"Shut up you ugly, unwanted bitch. I have told you not to speak yet you always seem to disobey me, I am only going to keep you alive so that I do what I damn well please to you. If I want to beat the shit out of you then I will. No one will ever know and if somehow they find out then I will make sure that there will be no evidence to find. Do you know what that means, girl?"

I sit trembling in the corner shaking my head not because I didn't know the answer but because I didn't want to know the answer, I am praying that Tobias wouldn't say a work to anyone.

"You will be dead I will find the ditch that you put your mother in and I will dig the earth and bury you there. Hell I may even bury you alive. That would be interesting to watch wouldn't it? You would die from suffocation." He laughs an evil laugh, then I feel pain of the belt landing against my face then my chest. I scream in pain.

I wake up gasping for air, I look around confused at first about what happened about why I was laying on the bathroom floor that was when the memories came flooding back, I sit up wincing my hand moving to my side. "Damn it." I mutter as I stand up gritting my teeth together.

I use the wall to make my way to the bed before falling on my back causing myself to wince again. "Damn I hurt everywhere." I mutter to myself before looking out of the window to see that the sky is dark and the stars are out. I let myself smile a little at the sight of the stars.

I always like looking at the stars somehow it reminds me that there will always be light in the darkest of places, I mean that is what helped me with surviving this long. Tobias is my light knowing that he is my brother that he cares about me.

My eyes widen as I remember that he might stay here because of me and I cannot let him stay here and be beaten because of me. It wouldn't be right, I must get him to know that before this ceremony that happens. I glance over to my bed side table and see that I have paper and pen on there I sit up slowly grunting loudly. I stand up picking up the paper and pen that is when I realises blood on my arm.

I frown deeply looking to see what the cause of it was, I see a cut I just shake my head and start writing my message to Tobias. I will sort out the cut later.

Tobias,

I heard the convocation, I am so pleased that you will be able to escape all of this. You have to choose dauntless, it is most fitting for you. Do not give a second thought about me, go to your new life. Maybe we will see each other again in a few years' time? Good luck in your aptitude test.

Just remember when things get tough, you are never alone, no matter what someone is going through what you are, there is always someone to talk to.

Escape. Be free. Be brave.

The girl downstairs.

I look at how messy the hand writing is, I shake my head not pleased, but I was never taught how to write I ended up teaching myself when I was younger. I look at the clock and see it is 2am. I listen for any sign of movement or sound to show anyone is awake. When there is nothing, I look at the note again and see blood drops on it. I sigh considering rewriting it because he might worry.

I decide not to, I just slowly and carefully walk up the stairs not making a sound, I use the railing for support as I walk up to the ground floor silently opening the door before walking upstairs to the next floor. I need to put it somewhere that Tobias will find it but Marcus won't. So where could that be? I walk slowly into his room and see Tobias flat out in his bed, I smile a little at the sight. He looks peaceful.

I shake my head, "Focus." I mutter under my breath. I look around the room trying to think about where I should hide the note. Well considering I do not know his morning routine except for getting dressed. I will have to hide it in his shirt.

I slowly walk towards his set of draws, avoiding the first draw, I slowly open the second draw trying to be as quiet as possible. I quickly turn to look at Tobias as he starts to shift, I am frozen still watching as he turns to lie on his stomach. I smile a little before snapping out of it slipping the note inside the folded grey shirt.

I close the draw quietly before walking out of the room closing the door quietly behind me then walks down the first flight of stairs then the second shutting the secret door behind me.

I make my way to the bathroom again seeing to my bleeding arm. When Tobias leaves it is going to suck. I know it is, Marcus will blame me, maybe even kill me because in his eyes if I didn't interfere then he wouldn't have left. He is wrong, Toby would have left where he knew about me or not.

Wait, what? Toby? Why would I give him a nickname? I stitch my arm up neatly, if I could be a nurse I probably would be one, the amount of times I have seen horrible wounds and stitched them up. You gave him a nickname because he is your big brother. You care for him and love him.

"Not like I'm going to see him again." I mutter to myself as I put all of the first aid equipment away, washing my hands that are covered in blood. My mother's dead body pushes to the front of my mind, tears fall down my cheek before I push the memory to the back of my mind.

I cannot let blood affect me for the rest of my life. Mother wanted you to be strong, you are letting her haunt you, she is meant to give you strength. She died for you. She is meant to make you happy when you think of her. A voice in my head tells me.

Which I reply to, How the hell can I be happy? When I can see is her dead body on the floor, pouring with blood, if Marcus can do that to mother then he will do it to me. I will be dead just like her. That seems to shut my consciousness up.

I walk over to the bed as I argue with myself I climb in bed exhausted. "Damn I just woke up." I mutter to myself. Probably the blood loss. Come on sleep, you deserve the rest.

I just nod to my own thoughts, before pulling the blanket over myself. I let myself drift into a light sleep.

I wake up to the heavy footsteps of Marcus. He was swaying back and forth. Great he is drunk. I think to myself, I get out of my bed with a hiss escaping my lips from the pain.

"You bitch! This is all your fault. He left because of you!" Marcus yelled his voice was slurred I could barely understand him. Wait? Toby left? I slept that long? I wonder if he got my note. Least he is safe now. I look up to see how furious Marcus is. Not that I can say the same for myself.

"You know I was going to kill you, but that would too quick for you, you wouldn't suffer the way you deserve to be. I have lost everything because of you! First you take my wife then you make my son leave me! What sort of conspiracy is this? Eh girl? Well guess what? I am going to make you wish you were never born." He has this grin on his face that just creeps me out, it is an evil grin. I grin that is making all of the hairs on my body stand alert.

I have to make a plan, I have to survive this. I have to get to Toby. It's not like I know where he chose but hopefully he listened to my advice. I will chose dauntless when I finally have my time to choose. Hopefully I will find him there. If not then at least I have escaped this hell hole just like he did. I am snapped out of my thoughts when I hear something smash then I felt stings all down my arm and my face. I look to the ground to see a beer bottle on the floor. Where he got these I have no clue but he always got drunk.

"Where you even listening to me, bitch?" Marcus snaps, my eyes shift to look at him, my eyes were hard. I hate him. I literally hate him with every ounce of my body. That is the only emotion I can feel right now.

Marcus's voice is full of hatred as he speaks. "I said that I will strip any part of comfort or happiness away from you. No furniture, no water. No fresh showers. You will be fed once a week, every Sunday! You will be tied up so I can beat the shit out of you whenever the hell I feel like it. No one will save you, not liked you saved Tobias. No one even knows you exist, you will be here for the rest of your worthless life." I let what he just said sink in, I see his evil grin again as he knew that it has sunk in this time.

I am zoned out, my thoughts going wild. Never be able to leave. I won't have the same choice as everyone else at 16. I will have to stay here and be beaten every day for god knows how long. I won't be able to survive. I will be dead, he might as well kill me now. He wants me to suffer though. He wants to pin all the blame on me. I let myself take a deep determined breath. No. I will not let him get the better of me, I will fight with every ounce of my body, and I will find a way out of this hell hole.

I will find Toby again.