Here's Chapter Four. Enjoy.

"Thank you, Mr. Ketchum," Arata Ukiyo said with a sigh. He looked at Ash for a moment, ready to escort him out.

"How?" Ash asked hoarsely. Ukiyo looked at him, puzzled.

"I told you on the phone," he said, glancing down at the dead girl. "She drowned. We're lucky that she washed up on the banks. A couple more hours in the water and her features would have bloated. We'd have had to identify her through her teeth." He took one look at Ash's heaving chest and immediately regretted his words.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sir," he offered. "I don't know what I was thinking; I can't imagine how hard it is to lose a friend this way."

"She… wasn't my friend," Ash replied quietly. "And I meant how… how did you know to contact me?"

"She had a bag tied to her waist," Ukiyo answered. "It was waterproof, and we opened it to see if she had any identification in there. The only thing that we found was a note addressed to you. My assistant checked the Town Records to see if you lived in the vicinity, and when we found your number I called you."

"A note…" Ash muttered, shaking his head at the irony. "She let us know by a note the first time too" He sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "You never can escape the past," he mused.

"Sir," Ukiyo said hesitantly. "We didn't dispose of the note. Since it was addressed to you, we felt it would be wrong if you didn't have the chance to read it. We put it in the next room, along with her shoes and hat. Would you like me to..?" Ash sighed again.

"What choice do I have?" he asked. "If she left me a note, she obviously wants me to read it." Ukiyo nodded and slipped into the next room, quickly returning with an envelope in his hand. He handed it to Ash and patted him gently on the back once, just once. He silently left the room, leaving Ash alone with the corpse.

He turned the envelope over and saw his name written on the front, each letter painstakingly crafted in Dawn's calligraphy. He turned the envelope around again and slit it open gently. Looking briefly at the body of the girl who had written it, he slid out several sheets of thin paper. He unfolded them and began to read.

Ash…

If you're reading this, then it probably means that I'm dead. To be honest, I'm surprised that I've lived long enough to write this note. Looking back at my life, sometimes it feels as if everything that I've done has been a mistake.

One of my biggest mistakes was in not replying to your letters. They were all delivered safely, but at the time I just couldn't bear to try and keep in touch with you, not after what had happened. By the time I felt ready to write back, it was too late; your last letter to me made that very clear. Maybe if I'd written back to you sooner things would be different, but I've always had the feeling that nothing much would change about the way my life turned out.

There is something I have to tell you that I have kept a secret from all but one. From the moment that I met you, I knew you were somebody special. It didn't take me long to realize that I'd fallen in love with you. Yes, Ash, I loved you; I still do. From the moment that I saw you risking your life to try and save Pikachu, to now as I write this letter, I have yearned for you with all that my heart has to offer.

I knew from the start that it would only lead to unhappiness, too. I don't know if you were aware of it, but I could see that your heart was already given to somebody else. I knew that you would never love me in the same way that I do you, but I had to try and win your heart away. At one point I even thought about leaving you and Brock to travel on my own. It was painful being with you, knowing that you would never reciprocate my feelings. But not being with you would have been even more painful.

Although I am ashamed to admit it, I tried everything I could think of to win your heart, but nothing seemed to work. At the end, desperate, I tried to make you jealous by cheering for Paul. I thought it had worked at first, but then I realized that you weren't jealous because I was cheering for him; you were angry that I was supporting your enemy. I regret that moment more than anything else in my life. Every waking moment of every day after that, you were cold to me. I knew that you thought I had betrayed you, and I knew that I had brought it on myself, but my competitive side wouldn't let me back down in arguments. I know that it's years too late, but I am sorry that I slapped you all that time ago.

One night, a few days before I left you and Brock, I left the Pokemon Centre for some fresh air. I was standing outside the doors when Paul and his Tropius surprised me. He said that I was looking very sad, so he showed me his Tropius's Sweet Scent to try and cheer me up. I suddenly felt really calm and happy, and then he told me that he loved me. I know now that he didn't love me; he saw a weakness in you, his rival, and did everything that he could to exploit it; namely getting me to leave you and travel with him. He saw a girl who was sick for lack of love, and used Sweet Scent and his sickly charm to exploit that illness.

The day I left, the two of you battled and his Tropius ended up winning. I should have realized why he used Sweet Scent during the battle, but I didn't. It enchanted me for the rest of the day, and I could only see your apparent rejection in contrast to his supposed love. So I left. When Sweet Scent finally wore off I realized what had happened, but it was too late; I had already left the two of you behind, and I knew that I could never go back. I didn't want to travel with Paul, but what choice did I have?

I'm sure you heard from Brock about some of the things that happened to me as time went on; when I was 12, I was pregnant. It wasn't from anything that I did willingly. I woke up one night screaming in pain. I was confused, and then a hand clamped on my mouth and pushed my head down. I realized then that Paul was raping me. It happened several times, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Eventually my stomach started to swell, and I realized that I was pregnant before I'd even had my first period. I thought about having an abortion, but I couldn't bear to do that. It didn't matter in the end; my body couldn't handle the baby inside, and I miscarried.

I don't want you to think that I didn't care about my mother's death either. By that time Paul had retired and bought a house, and I moved in with him. I hated him more than anything, but I had no other place I could go to. I was sure that my mother had heard of my "betrayal", and I was afraid she would disown me; both Zoey and Kenny had when they found out. Paul was the one who got the letters from you and Brock telling me about her cancer. He hid them and never told me about it. I didn't find out she had died until after the funeral, when I found one of the letters in his desk. He was out at the time, so I started to make dinner.

When he came in, I confronted him about it. His only answer was a slap to my face. Then he started beating me, shouting that he'd done so much for me, and that I never did anything in return. When I heard that, I just snapped and grabbed the Farfetch'd I'd taken out of the freezer to thaw. I just wanted to protect myself and try to get away. I didn't mean to swing the bird so hard; I didn't want it to hit him in the head. I just wanted to escape. He hit the ground and didn't move. All of my Pokemon ran in from the backyard and saw him lying in a pool of blood, and the smashed Farfetch'd in my hand. They all thought I'd murdered him in cold blood. None of them, not even Prinplup, wanted anything to do with me after that.

Through everything that had happened to me, good and bad, my Pokemon had stayed by my side, supporting and comforting me. I had never truly been alone before. When they left, I learned what it was like to be all alone in the world. I had no friends and no family left. I lost the will to live. If it wasn't for Brock during my trial, I would have lost my case. I know that you didn't go, and I can't blame you for it. Brock was the only person who had kept in contact with me. He was the only one who knew what I had gone through with Paul. He came up for a surprise visit once, before Paul died. I told him about everything, including my love for you. He understood, too. He was able to tell the jury everything that Paul had done to me, and they acquitted me under a charge of self-defence.

Ash, I know that you haven't spoken to him since he testified. Please, don't hold it against him. During the trial, I didn't care if I was found innocent or guilty. I only wanted it all to be over. Brock was a true friend. He stood by me, arguing my innocence for all his worth. All he wanted was for the truth to be heard. You probably thought he was taking the side of the murderer, not the victim. That wasn't the case.

It took me a long time, but I finally managed to find out your address. I've been travelling through the country to reach you for a long time. Every time I fall asleep, I relive my past. I have no will to eat, or to drink. I don't even feel warmth or cold anymore. The only thing that's driving me on is the need to get this message to you; to see your face for one last time. If I can do that, I will be able to die happy. I have never stopped loving you, and I never will.

Love,

Dawn

Ash lowered the last page of the letter. His arms shook with grief, and his eyes shone with unshed tears. Only now, when it was too late, did he finally know the truth.

"Oh Dawn…" he whispered. "All of these years… you loved me and you never said anything. All of those fights we had… all of that pain… years of anguish and torment. Why couldn't you tell me? Why?"

Slowly, he moved forwards and looked down on the face of the girl who had loved him; who he knew loved him still. He unzipped the remainder of the bag and clasped one of her cold hands in his. His eyes sought out the small smile on her face, and he felt a sudden surge of emotion. This time, he didn't try to hold it back. The tears surged from his eyes, splashing down his arms and onto her chest.

"I'm sorry Dawn," he sobbed. "I'm so sorry that I didn't understand."

He stayed that way until his tears were exhausted. He looked away from her, took a deep, shuddering breath, and regained his composure.

"At least… at least you died happy, even without seeing me again," he said softly, his voice quavering slightly as he traced the outline of her smile. He leaned forwards and gently kissed his dead friend on the lips. Straightening slowly, he took one last look at her and began walking towards the door, folding his letter and placing it securely in his pocket as he went. He placed a hand on the door handle and paused.

"I did love you Dawn," he said. "I was just too blind to see it."

May greeted him as he arrived home. She looked at him, concerned. He had left the house with an air of forced happiness, but now he appeared exhausted, distraught. She hurried off to the kitchen to make a hot drink, but his voice compelled her to stop.

"I was wrong," he said simply.

"Wrong?" May echoed. "About what?"

"About Dawn. About everything that I told you about her this morning. I was just… wrong."

"How do you know?" she asked as he began digging in one of his pockets.

"She told me," he said, holding out Dawn's letter. May reached out hesitantly, took the pages, and began to read.

Now you know why Dawn had lost her will to live in Reaching Out, and why Ash hated her for what she had done. As ever, please review.