A/N: Thanks to all who have been reading and reviewing this story. I know I probably got some of you nervous when I introduced Analise again, but I think I have found in writing this chapter a central theme for this story will be learning from ones mistakes. That is going to include everyone. I hope everyone continues to read, review, and above all, enjoy.

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

Chapter 4

As their hands touched it was as if the magnetism that had drawn them together at the Parents without Partners mixer had not diminished since their practical decision to terminate their involvement. Analise's hand slid up Harm's arm to his shoulder while Harm moved his free hand around her waist applying just enough pressure to invite Analise's body next to his. She accepted his gesture and rested her cheek against his chest for a long moment before pulling away.

"Sit down," she invited politely; morbidly curious as to why Harm was there in her apartment after all this time. "Can I get you anything?"

Harm moved slowly and sat in the large maroon chair that was once unofficially his. "I'll take a soda," he replied. "Where's Maggie?"

"Taking her nap," Analise said. "She's been skipping her lunchtime nap lately, can't seem to drop off in daycare. Probably afraid she'll miss something."

Harm offered a half hearted laugh. "I remember those days, picking Lucy up at the daycare across from HQ…" Harm's voice trailed off and he swallowed hard.

"What brings you here, Harm?" Analise asked setting his cold glass of soda down in front of him. "It's not that I'm not pleased to see you but no contact, no word since October and now here you are with no explanation."

"I don't know why I'm here," Harm admitted. "Mac and I met up at the Starbucks in Arlington; we have some decisions to make about Lucy. After I left I started driving home and ended up here instead."

"I see. What kind of decisions did you have to make?" Analise asked. "How had Lucy been?"

"Well, they let her leave the hospital just after Matthew was born in January…Oh; my I never even…Mac had a healthy baby boy," Harm told Analise with a small smile.

"I read in the birth announcements," Ana confessed. "A large, healthy boy…Matthew Harmon Rabb. How did Commander Brumby take to that?"

"Not well," Harm told her. "Analise, I have something to tell you about Matthew before we talk anymore. Matthew, he's my son."

"Your son?" Analise echoed. "Harm I'm no doctor or lawyer but even I know the period of human gestation."

"Mac and I were together last winter," Harm said. "In Utah when I was sick. I had no memory of it. I still have very little recollection of it, but DNA tests confirmed it. He is my son."

"Congratulations," Analise said. "Really, I'm very happy for you and Mac. I hope you will both be very happy."

"One very important key for our happiness still hangs in the balance, Ana," Harm sighed. "Lucy's health and future are still very bleak."

"You were going to tell me about that I think before we started talking about Matthew," Analise reminded him.

"Yes. Well, after Matthew was born Mac had some serious health problems and had to stay in the hospital," Harm said.

"What sort of problems?" Analise asked.

"Her uterus ruptured during the delivery, she had to have an emergency hysterectomy so she was in the hospital for two weeks, right near Lucy. Another two weeks later Dr. Jacobsen felt Lucy was ready to leave the hospital and go back on the outpatient treatment, so we brought her home," Harm sighed. "Two weeks after that at one of her check ups and treatments Dr. Jacobsen came in with another doctor, a pediatric hematologist, Dr. Thomas. They started talking about doing a bone marrow transplant." Harm paused for a breath. "So Mac and I think about this separately for three weeks, we do our own research and our own studying to try to come to the right decision, the best decision and now that we have I'm not sure its right at all."

"Wow," Analise sighed. "That's a lot to take on and take in Harm. What decision did you make?"

"Mac feels we still have more options with chemotherapy to exhaust before we resort to doing a transplant. This last round beat back all the secondary cancer, it's just the ALL left now," Harm replied.

"Why did Mac think the transplant should wait?" Analise asked. "It could actually be the quickest and most reliable cure at this point if you find a match."

"And the most likely place to find a match is a sibling," Harm supplied. "Mac feels if we resorted to a bone marrow transplant now we'd run the risk of one child feeling it was merely a host to keep another alive."

"And what do you think?" Analise asked.

"Well, I can understand why Mac feels…" Harm began.

"Of course you can," Ana replied. "I can too. I didn't ask you if you understand why Mac feels as she does. I asked you what you think about the issue."

Harm's gaze fell on his hands, "It doesn't matter, Ana. Mac is the legal custodian."

"It does matter, Harm," Analise insisted. "Because a year from now you along with Mac may have to bury your daughter. That is hard enough to face without regrets. You have to do all you can as her father and as DJ and Matthew's father too. So, tell me, Harm, what do you think about the bone marrow transplant in Lucy's case?"

"I…I think she's been through so much already between the cancer, the metastases, the chemotherapy, the infections…I think if the bone marrow transplant will give her a break, even one day less of that Hell we have to try it," Harm finally said. "I think we have to save Lucy first and fix whatever effect it may have on DJ or Matthew later."

"That's a good point," Analise confirmed. "And think about this, what are you and Mac going to tell DJ and Matthew when they are old enough to learn about leukemia and they ask you why you and Mac didn't fight harder to save their sister? Children have an uncanny ability to find ways to make bad things in life their fault. Do you want that? Does Mac?"

Harm shook his head, "Mac feels that if we reach a point where a transplant is necessary we can explain it to DJ, we can give him a choice. We won't be able to explain it to Matthew. If we do it, the procedure that is, and it somehow impacts Matthew's future we don't want him to feel that he is only valued as a tool to keep Lucy alive."

"I suppose you have to be on the outside of this situation to hear how ridiculous that sounds," Analise said flatly. "In a baby Matthew's age or even in a child of DJ's age, the chances of long term adverse affects from being a donor are virtually non-existant. The chances of more chemotherapy and more time sick with cancer weakening Lucy to a point where she is not strong enough to withstand the procedure are much, much higher. I'm surprised you didn't come across that in your research."

"I did, I know Mac must have," Harm sighed. "She's basing this choice on a family experience that had negative effects on a child kidney donor. That and Mac and I always wanted our children to have a choice in their lives."

"That's an admirable goal Harm, but children have parents for a reason. If they were supposed to make their own choices at five, six, ten years of age, they wouldn't need parents. Children have to be taught how to be adults and they don't learn that by their parents making them adults long before they are old enough to handle the responsibility. They have to come to that in their own time. I admire you for wanting to give your children a choice, and for some things, that's great to give them that independence, but not at this stage, not with this much at stake. It's just not right, Harm," Analise said definitively. "You know that, you wouldn't be here if you didn't."

Harm had always felt the one of the ways to teach children to make good decisions was to let them do so on their own with parental guidance, not influence and then to be their to help them correct any mistakes they had made and help them to learn from them. That was the one area where he and Analise had consistently disagreed when they dated. "There is so much at stake," Harm sighed. "Sometimes I feel my whole life is riding on Lucy's life. If something were to happen to her, if she dies…"Harm's voice caught.

"I know," Analise said softly, her voice filled with compassion. "So what are you going to do?"

"What can I do?" Harm sighed defeated. "It's been decided. We talked about it."

"Did you? Did you really because if you really talked it through and agreed 100 you wouldn't be here, you'd be at home with Mac and your kids," Analise pointed out. "Go now, go to Mac and tell her your feelings and your thoughts. Once upon a time I'm sure she deeply valued your input, you were married for seven years, five of which were pretty good."

"You don't understand, Ann," Harm sighed and rose from his chair to pace about the room trying to physically work off his frustration.

"Then explain it to me," Analise told him. "Make me understand."

"It's true, Mac and I were married for seven years, but we never talked, not one time in the entire marriage did Mac and I ever manage to have a productive conversation that didn't end in sex or disaster," Harm replied. "We lost that link, that physical bond when Mac got sick and we never got it back. That's how our marriage died."

"Harm, I can't tell you how to handle this, how to talk to Mac or anything, but I can tell you, you better learn how to communicate with Mac outside the bedroom before you try to repair your marriage," Ana warned.

"I didn't tell you…" Harm began but Analise cut him off before he could finish.

"You didn't have to," Ana sighed. "Why do you think I ended our relationship. You loved me. I know that, but I would never be to you what Mac was or even is, we both know that. And even more so, if you weren't trying to win her back, you'd have fought her decision tooth and nail about the bone marrow."

Harm's silence was Analise's assurance that she was right, on all fronts. She continued, "Go to her, Harm. Go see her, tell her your thoughts and your fears. She'll never learn them if you don't tell her."

"She's been through so much…" Harm sighed.

"And you haven't?" Ana retorted. "Harm, regardless, the issue here is not about what Mac's been through or what you have been through. It is not about revenge, settling old scores, and believe it or not it is not a power struggle between you and her. This is about your daughter; your Lucy who is very sick and who needs her parents to work together to do the right thing for everyone, including themselves. You need to get that through your head," Analise said firmly. "Stop trying to appease Mac to make up for you affair, stop swallowing your words to avoid an argument, and do the right thing for you daughter because in the end she is the one who's going to pay the price, not Mac, and not you."

"I'm not even sure I know what the right thing is anymore," Harm admitted defeated.

"Sure you do," Analise encouraged. "You knew before you walked through the door."

Slowly, Analise rose and closed the gap between Harm and her. She reached for him and held him to her for a minute, "You may have made some big mistakes, but speaking your piece to Mac about this won't be one of them. If you want to talk about lessons for your kids, think of this one; you have to stand up for what you think is right even if someone else thinks its wrong. That is an excellent lesson for your sons."

Harm gave Analise a squeeze, "Thank you, Ana. Thank you for listening, for being here even after…"

"I care about you, Harm," Analise said. "I'll always be here if you need a friend." She pulled out of his hold and met his eyes. "Now go talk to Mac."

With a final kiss on the cheek Analise showed Harm out of her apartment. Harm got in his car and headed for Manassas. Analise was right, Mac at least needed to hear his thoughts before they closed the matter of the bone marrow transplant. If he held his tongue and let things fester the new life they wanted to build would be dead before it was even born.

Mac had just finished clearing the supper dishes and was loading the dishwasher. Lucy and DJ were engrossed in a game of "Go Fish" and Matthew was napping in his swing when the doorbell sounded. Mac dried her hands and opened the door. "Harm? This is a nice surprise," she smiled. "What brings you out here at this later hour?"

"Mac," Harm said softly keeping one yes out for the children who would soon be rounding the hallway to greet him. "We need to talk."