Chapter Four

Eddie pushed up the sleeve on his shirt and scratched the skin on his wrist. Something about being in Dr. Tarus' office made him uncomfortable…and itchy. Maybe he was allergic to the leather covering the couch. He idly wondered if the Guardian Council would buy that as an excuse for him to cease and desist these sessions.

Probably not.

"Good afternoon, Eddie," Dr. Tarus said as he walked into the room.

"Hello, hi…" Eddie stammered. Despite speaking to the doctor twice a week for the past month the older Moroi still made the Dhampir nervous. Like what was he always writing down? And why did he sigh so much?

"How are you feeling today?" Dr. Tarus asked after sitting down in his chair.

"O…okay," Eddie said, unsure. He never knew if he was supposed to give longer responses.

"I've gotten good reports from your physical therapist," Dr. Tarus said. "He says you're healing nicely. That's very encouraging news."

"Um, yeah…I mean…my knee doesn't hurt as much," Eddie replied. The doctor didn't say anything. "I feel stronger," he added just to fill the awkward silence.

"Mmmhmm," Dr. Tarus sighed and jotted something down on his legal pad. He looked back up at Eddie. "Anything you'd like to talk about?"

He always asked this and as usual Eddie replied, "No, not really."

"Mmmhmm," the doctor said and wrote down something else. "I'd like to try something new today."

"Yeah, sure," Eddie agreed. Doing something other than hear Dr. Tarus said 'Mmmhmm' sounded great to him.

"We're going to do word association. I say a word and you say the first thing that comes to your mind," the doctor explained.

"Okay," Eddie replied. That sounded easy enough. He pulled his sleeve back down and looked at Dr. Tarus.

"Work," he said.

"Hard," Eddie replied.

"Weak," Dr. Tarus said.

"Protect," Eddie answered.

This went on for another ten words until Dr. Tarus said, "Jill."

Eddie felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room when her name was uttered. "No," he replied.

"No?" Dr. Tarus asked.

"I don't want to do this anymore," Eddie replied. He crossed his arms over his chest not caring if he looked like a petulant child.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about her," Dr. Tarus said gently.

"The guardians wanted me to come talk to you…they never said what it was what we needed to talk about," Eddie pointed out.

"The council wants you to heal…and I think talking about the late princess is part of that healing process," Dr. Tarus replied.

He tightened his arms around his chest. "No," he said again.

"Mmmhmm," the doctor sighed as his hand flew across the page. Once he had finished he looked up at the clock. "Our time is up…anything you want to add?"

"See you on Thursday," he said gruffly and bolted out of the room.

Eddie exited the office and once he was far enough away he leaned against the wall and tried to remember how to breathe. He closed his eyes, but the second he did images of Jill lying in Adrian's arms flashed through his head. "Fuck…" he muttered to himself. He balled his fist and wound his arm back to take out his aggression on the wall, but before he could a familiar voice stopped him.

"Whoa, hey…" Adrian said gently. "Probably not a good idea to have two broken hands. I mean…things could get awkward quickly."

Eddie eyes blinked open and focused on Adrian's emerald ones. Unlike most people they didn't have that look of pity in them…just genuine concern. "Tough therapy session," he said softly…not that Adrian had asked.

"Yeah, Dr. Tarus is something else," Adrian agreed. He then mimicked the sigh and note jotting motion. "It's impossible to read the guy."

Eddie couldn't help but laugh a little at the imitation. "You see him too?" he asked curiously.

Adrian nodded his head yes. "I don't know if it's helping, but…it's good to talk," he replied with a shrug.

Eddie rubbed his hand over his face. "I need a drink," he mumbled between his fingers.

"As much as I agree with you…I think Sage would kick my ass if I let you go to the bar," Adrian said with a chuckle. He slung his arm around his shoulder. "Come on…let's try something else."

XXX

"Now see…I was expecting a strip club," Eddie said as they walked into the art therapy studio.

"Only losers go there during the day," Adrian said. "I know…I used to be one of those guys." He ducked into the supply closet while Eddie settled onto a stool.

"I really don't feel like making a papier-mâché duck," Eddie mused.

"Good thing that's not what we're doing," Adrian said and emerged from the closet with a small bucket of paintbrushes.

"Are you sure this is better than a strip club?" Eddie joked.

"Of course…less chance of contracting crabs too. Just trust me," Adrian said to him. "Can you get the poster paints out of the cabinet?"

Eddie hopped over to the cabinet to retrieve the paint. "So what exactly are we doing?" he asked.

"Today we're going to do some interior decorating," Adrian replied.

"And that's going to help me feel better?" Eddie asked skeptically. He set the paints down on the table and took his seat again.

"You were going to punch the wall to make yourself feel better…I think this should work just as well," Adrian reasoned. He grabbed a large brush out of the bucket and handed it to Eddie.

Eddie stared at the brush before twirling it in his functioning hand. "Does this count as one of my sessions?" he asked Adrian.

"Sure, why not? I'm in a good mood today," Adrian said with a chuckle.

"I should get this in writing," Eddie said. "Sydney won't believe me otherwise."

"Alright, enough talking," Adrian told him. He unscrewed a bottle of paint, dipped his brush in it, and flung it against the wall. Eddie raised an eyebrow. "You try," Adrian told him.

"Umm, alright," Eddie said. He dipped his brush in the bottle and smeared it against the wall.

"Weak," Adrian huffed. "You're a guardian for god sake…show that paint who's boss."

Eddie dipped the brush again and flung the paint with more force.

"You're killing me, Castile," Adrian scoffed.

This time Eddie's splatter hit the wall so hard that the structure shook beneath his touch.

"Good!" Adrian encouraged him. "Keep going!"

Again and again Eddie flung the paint against the wall. This was for whatever stupid guardian thought therapy was an effective treatment. This was for Sydney (who was always right). This was for Dr. Tarus' irritating sigh. This was for the pale faced abomination who had taken away his best friend.

Eddie stopped and let the brush fall from his fingers. He stumbled back into the stool and felt something wet streaking down his cheeks. He quickly wiped away the tears he hadn't even realized escaped. He looked over at Adrian.

"I miss her…" he whispered.

Adrian clapped a hand on Eddie's shoulder. "Me too."