Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
It would have been an understatement to say that Roy was in a state of sorts.
A state in which he felt like the life was slowly draining out of him with each moment she was still missing.
As soon as he got off the train and was greeted by his subordinates, all he could say was, "Where is she? Did you find her?"
To this he received a couple of solemn nods.
"We're still looking chief, but I wouldn't worry, I'm sure Hawkeye can handle herself." Havoc bravely contributed.
"If she was handling herself fine, she wouldn't have been gone this long without any explanation."
The look on their faces relayed the fact that they did agree, but didn't want to say anything. Riza Hawkeye didn't just disappear without a trace.
"Damn it! I want every single soldier on this base out searching for her."
"Sir, I don't think we can really do that—"Breda tried to say.
"Listen, I don't care if I need to go get special permission from the Fuhrer himself, I'm giving you an order and you're going to listen. Understood?" He knew he had that look in his eyes, but he didn't care what people thought of his demeanor, with every second that passed the chances of finding her alive were dropping.
"Yes sir." Most of them scrambled off to start putting together more search parties but Havoc simply stared at him.
"Sir, please don't do anything reckless. We're going to find her alive, I promise."
"You promise? You're sure she's still alive? How in the hell did this even happen? Were you the one who let her run off on her own?
"As I said before, Hawkeye can handle herself and we didn't think anything could go wrong. The last thing she would want is you not being able to function without her, if we can't find her by the end of the night you'll have to go back to your post and continue you're job here in Ishval." Havoc was the only one other than Riza who could try to talk his emotions down.
"I can't just go on as if nothing happened! She was my bodyguard! My most valuable subordinate! My... we have to find her. I'll comb every inch of this desert myself if you guys want to give up so easily."
"Listen, I know exactly how you feel about her and I know this is tough, but you can't just abandon your post. We're still recovering from the attack last night and we need you here to lead the restoration. You need to focus on the task at hand; the search parties will do their job."
"And what if they can't find her?" Roy almost didn't want to hear the answer to that question.
"Sir, you have goals and I know Hawkeye would never forgive you if you abandoned them because of her. If they can't find her you have to move forward."
Roy was furious, clenching his fist so tightly he almost popped a vein. He couldn't fathom a future without her, he had goals yes but they all meant nothing to him without her by his side. To just lose her to the unknown like this was not what he imagined. He finally accepted a future where they both live in contentment and this was what he was rewarded with.
If there was a sign he really didn't deserve to be happy this was it.
"I'm going to look for her, don't you dare stop me until the morning. If we haven't found her by then I'll return to my post, but trust me, we're going to find her."
He didn't even have faith in his own words.
It was three hours before dawn when they found the body.
One of her guns lay on the forest floor and the other one rested atop the right hand of the man they had found. He died from blood loss, a gunshot wound on his side deep enough he didn't have a chance. He was an Ishvalan, likely a rebel who would never be identified, a castaway from a nearby Ishvalan camp. The details weren't that important, all Roy knew was that this was the last man to see Riza Hawkeye alive and they would not be getting any kind of information out of him. Yet another setback he couldn't properly comprehend.
All of this was a dream, he told himself. They now had her at the edge of a cliff, a man with a gun in his hand, and chances were looking slim that she was even alive. They had sent a crew down to investigate the bottom of the cliff; in fact the words he heard them say were along the lines of retrieving the body. It wasn't a premature statement, where else could she have gone but down that cliff? He'd peered over the edge, if she had fallen right down to the bottom there was no way she would have survived. If she had hit one of the jagged edges on the way down there was no way she would have survived. If she had not gone over the cliff the man would have shot her, and there was no way she would have survived.
He reprimanded his thoughts, this was not a dream. This was a nightmare. The worst nightmare he had ever had, and that was saying a lot. This was the worst one because it was true. He had left for two days, came back ready to start a life with her and now she was gone. His shadow always hovering two steps behind him was gone. To lose your shadow is to lose your being, to cease to exist. If you don't cast a shadow you are nothing, which was exactly how he felt without her. His knees hit the ground as his palms followed soon after. He simply stared at the earth, unable to process everything that was going through his mind.
"General? General! Are you okay?"
He felt the pain subsiding, his body surrendering the numbness crawling up his skin.
"General Mustang! Answer me now!"
He was almost thankful that he could no longer feel a thing; the agony would have been too much to handle.
"Someone help! Something is wrong with him!"
His soul had departed from his body.
A/N: Thanks for all the reviews you guys! The more I get the more motivation I have to get these up, so keep them coming!