Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.
"Of course, in a novel, people's hearts break, and they die and that is the end of it; and in a story this is very convenient. But in real life we do not die when all that makes life bright dies to us." – Harriet Beecher Stowe
o o o o
28 January, 2011
Derek laughed like he hadn't laughed in a long time. James walked next to him, an equally wide smile gracing his face. Heads followed the brothers as they walked through the FBI Academy, heading for the elevators that would take them up to the BAU.
"Anyways, I didn't tell you, because I'm not ready for Mom to know. The minute she finds out, all hell's gonna break loose," James rolled his eyes. "Her name's Kay. Kay MacMahon."
"That is not an Italian name," Derek raised his eyebrows.
"Neither is Derek Morgan. Or Tom Murdoch for that matter. Mom must have passed along her bad taste in mates to her spawn."
"Oh, wow, comparing me to your father? That's cold, man. That's cold," Derek shoved James lightly, a smile still playing on his face.
"Her name's Kay MacMahon and she's amazing," James spoke a bit louder to change the subject.
"MacMahon?" Derek asked as he hit the button for the elevator. "Hold on. MacMahon, like Gavin MacMahon?"
"She's his sister," James grinned sheepishly and Derek let out a bellowing laugh.
"You're dating your striker's sister. This is great." Derek kept laughing as the elevator door closed in front of them. "I thought teammates siblings were off-limits. Does Gavin know?"
"Know? Mac's the one that introduced us."
"So you've been dating this girl for nine months and haven't told Mom or anybody else yet?" Derek looked at James and James just grimaced. "You are in such deep shit, man."
"I know," James groaned, running a hand through his brown hair and making some of it stick up on end. "I'm screwed."
"So where is she? She can't be in Chicago with you, because I would have heard the explosion from here."
"Kay's still in Houston. She teaches physics at Rice University."
"So she's the smart one in the relationship," Derek ribbed him as the elevator doors opened.
"Well," James grinned, "I had a soccer scholarship to Indiana and she went to Oxford on a full academic scholarship. I play a game for a living and she has a Ph.D. Draw your own conclusions."
"Well, she's definitely the dumb one," Derek laughed as they walked through the glass doors into the bullpen and James raised his eyebrows, a smile playing on his lips. "She's with your ass, isn't she? Shows really poor decision making skills."
"Anyways, I'm bringing her to the party in April, so you better be there to meet her," James told him as they walked through the bullpen. Derek smiled and looked away as he started talking.
"Of course I'm going to be there. I've already got my – where did you get that?" Derek stopped still right behind Spencer's desk and stared at the file open in front of him. An all too familiar face stared back at him from the mug shot paper clipped to the left side. "Where the hell did you get that, Reid!"
"It was in the cold case files Hotch gave him to profile," Spencer sputtered.
"Give me that," Derek reached over and snatched the file away from him, slamming it closed and stalking up the stairs to Aaron's office as Spencer and Emily stared after him. James thinned his lips and bent down to pick out a sheet of paper that has slipped onto the floor.
"I – I'm sorry," James apologized to Derek's teammates, holding the paper in two hands. "My sister… Derek, he… I'm sorry." With that, James hurried across the bullpen and up the stairs after Derek, who was already in Aaron's office.
"Why did you give him this?" Derek hissed angrily, leaning over and slamming Nick Farese's file down on Aaron's desk. "No one's supposed to have this case except you or me."
"I'm sorry, Morgan, I don't know how that file got in there," Aaron shook his head with a sigh. "I didn't mean to give Reid that file."
"Farese is off-limits," Derek practically growled the sentence. "No one looks at that file. No one."
"I know you don't want to share with this, but we might be able to help," Aaron picked up the file and opened it. "It's been cold for nine years. We might be able to help, if you let us."
"No," Derek said firmly at the same moment that James said "Yes" with decisive conviction. Shocked, Derek wheeled around on his brother and stared in disbelief. "James!"
"No, Derek," James crossed his arms over his chest and stood his ground, "you aren't the only one who's been waiting a decade to get him. Nick destroyed everything and I'm tired of knowing he's out there not paying for what he did. If they can help, let them help."
"No."
"Why don't you want help?" James challenged. Aaron watched the two stare each other down, getting a profiler's feel for the dynamic of the relationship. "You'd rather let Nick kill someone else than accept some help from your team? You're really going to be that stubborn? You'd rather let him be out there free, wherever the hell he is doing whatever the hell he's doing, than give up control of his case."
"That's not it," Derek shot back. "This is private. It was my wife, it was my daughter. This is my case and I –"
"My sister, my niece, and my sister's best friend. Nick is a murderer. That's it. He's a murderer and your pride is keeping him from the death penalty. Your pride is keeping this from finally being over."
"Nick's gone," Derek matched James' calm tone, fully aware of Aaron observing the entire thing. "I've done everything there is to do. He's disappeared off the grid. I've done everything. There's nothing left to try. I've chased down every possible lead, even if it was just a wisp. There's nothing. The bastard's disappeared. He's completely off the grid. He could be dead. Hell, he could be in North Korea for all the information out there."
"This needs to end, Derek."
"Look," Aaron finally stood. "The case is about as cold as a case can get. A little longer isn't going to make much more difference. Nothing has to be decided today. I'm sorry Reid got the file, Derek. It was a mistake I should have caught."
Derek sighed and ran a hand over the bottom of his face. "I know," he admitted, "I know. Look, I've got to take him to the airport. I just needed to come grab my keys from my office. I'll be back in an hour."
"Take your time."
"I'm still babysitting Jack this evening, right?"
"Yes, at four, thanks," Aaron nodded. Derek returned his nodded and lead James out of the office with a final goodbye to Aaron. James followed Derek through the bullpen and down the hallway to Derek's office. James stopped and stared at the photographs as Derek walked around the desk to open the drawer and grab his keys.
"Your office looks more like I thought it'd look now," James leaned against the door jam. "I remember that day. The soccer game at your birthday party. I was washing mud out of my hair for two hours. I never did get those gloves clean."
"I think I still have some mud in my ear," Derek joked, but there was no laughter in his voice as he closed the drawer, keys in hand. "Everyone back home… they think I'm holding on too tightly, don't they?"
"It doesn't matter what they think," James shook his head.
"That's a yes."
"No, it's not. No one blames you for holding on. We all held on. They – we just want you to heal. Nick took everything that was important to us. He destroyed our lives, but it's been nine years. Nine years and you're still letting what he did control your life," James paused and looked down at his shoes before looking back into Derek's eyes. "I know you love my sister and I'm glad you love her. She deserved that, especially from a man like you. You're the best brother I could have hoped for, Derek. But it's been nine years. Nick took your family, our family, but you're giving him your future too. It's time to let go. A decade of wearing black is a long time. "
"James, it's not that simple. He took my family. He took my baby girl and he took my wife. He took my future with them, watching Ellie grow up and growing old with Sammie. You don't just decide to move on. I still love Sam as much right now as I did the day I married her. How do you tell that to another woman? 'I really like you, but I'm still in love with my wife.'"
James sighed. "I guess this is an argument for another day."
"Considering your flight leaves in two hours and it'll take forty minutes to get to Reagan, we'd better go now."
"Wait," James caught Derek's arm and held him back as he tried to pass. "Just… Derek, I… shit. When you came home from undercover, I was angry. I was so angry at you for leaving us."
"For running away," Derek supplied, quietly, quoting the words James had shouted at him the last time they spoke before Derek went undercover.
"Yeah, for running away. I was so angry. I never apologized for what I did when I gave you those bracelets."
"It was forgiven a long time ago," Derek said, putting a hand on the younger man's shoulder and waited until the blue eyes reluctantly looked up to meet his. "Besides, I deserved it."
ooo ooo ooo ooo
"AUNT CALLIE!" Five-year-old Jack Hotchner ran away from Derek's side as they rounded a corner in the National Gallery of Art's east building and Calliope Sellers came into view. Calliope turned away from the preparator she was talking to when she heard the happy squeal and grinned. Squatting down, the tiny redhead held out her arms and scooped Jack up into a hug, kissing his cheek as she stood.
"Oofff, you're getting heavy, Buddy," Calliope rubbed her nose against Jack's and Jack wrapped his arms around her neck. Derek looked around, searching for the little monster he knew had to be around here somewhere, and wasn't surprised when something small attacked his legs from behind, growling like a lion. Bending down, Derek lifted the little girl up by the back of her blue and white polka dot dress and held her up in front of him, smiling as she continued to growl and show tiny white teeth.
"Hey there, Nala," Derek greeted Spencer and Calliope's three-year-old daughter Emeline before shifting her into a normal holding position. Emeline growled again and started gnawing on his shoulder.
"Sorry, Der," Calliope said, walking over with Jack. "She just watched The Lion King and won't stop pretending she's a lion."
"Yeah, Reid told me." Derek kissed Emeline's crinkly brown hair. "He said he found her chewing Perses' tail last night."
"Yup, and Pers just sat there letting her," Calliope rolled her eyes. "That dog's so weird."
"Those are beautiful, Cal," Derek stepped past Calliope, reaching out and lightly squeezing her thin arm as he did, and took in the paintings leaning against temporary partition walls erected around the floor. The mostly grey-scale paintings all had one point of colour in them. The one he stopped in front of was a landscape of a lakeshore and the only colour came from the sun. "Who's this?"
"Haley," Calliope mouthed over Jack's head and Derek nodded.
"She'd have loved it."
"There's a bag of pamphlets over there naming the pieces."
"This is all going to be ready in a week?"
"I sure hope so," Calliope let out a huge sigh. "Putting together the exhibit is the worst part. I need twice as much caffeine on these days."
"Your body can handle twice as much caffeine? You already drink, what, twenty cups a day?" Derek grinned at her, shifting Emeline in his arms as she craned around to see her mother.
"Ha, ha," Calliope stuck her tongue out at him and set Jack down on the ground. "Eme, stop it."
"Maman, I'm hungry," she pouted and stuck her thumb in her mouth. Derek gently pulled the thumb back down.
"What do you think, Cal? Think these rug rats deserve dinner?"
"I dunno… Maybe just some cold gruel."
"Brussels sprouts," Derek suggested.
"I know a restaurant that only serves liver and onions."
"Ewww," Jack giggled, "I want a cheeseburger, Aunt Callie. Liver's gross!"
"How do you know, Goober? Have you ever tried liver? Maybe it tastes like cake. Wouldn't you want cake for dinner?"
"Then why can't I just have cake?" Jack asked.
Calliope started laughing and ruffled his short blonde hair. "Okay, cheeseburger it is. How about Matchbox?" A shout of happiness went up from both children and Jack jerked Calliope a bit as he jumped up and down holding her hand. "Okay, okay, we'll go to Matchbox. But first, go find your favourite painting and show me which one."
Derek put Emeline down and she chased after Jack as they ran through the gallery to look at all the paintings. Calliope watched the two for a second before turning to Derek and opening her arms. Smiling, Derek took two steps and bent down to hug her. When he stepped back, Calliope reached her hands up and grabbed each side of his face, studying his eyes.
"Hmmm" was her only comment as she let go. Derek rubbed his jaw and raised and eyebrow at her.
"Hmmm?"
"Yes, hmmm."
"Is this a good 'hmmm' or a bad 'hmmm,' yogini?"
"I see congratulations are in order," Calliope nodded at his left hand. "But you're not happy. You should be happy."
"Life's complicated, Cal."
"You're telling me," Calliope tilted her head towards the tourists taking their picture from the stairs, the top of which had been roped off. "Excuse me, cell phones are not allowed to be used in the gallery."
"Feisty today," Derek grinned.
"I'm tired of having my picture taken. And I don't want my paintings photographed. I mean, you shouldn't be able to see anything through the cases from that distance, but still. Besides, the last thing I need is a picture of us getting out on the Internet when I'm planning my wedding to String Bean. Unless, of course, you really want another love triangle conspiracy."
"Naw, I'm good. Took long enough for me to clear up everything back home after the last one."
"I'm sorry about –"
Their conversation came to an abrupt halt when Jack and Emeline came running back to them, exclaiming over which one of the paintings where their favourite. It took a while to get the two to calm down and then Derek kept them occupied while Calliope oversaw the preparators moving the paintings from their spots by the walls onto a large cart and then back into the vault. By the time they left, the gallery had long since closed to the public.
"How did you paint that many paintings?" Derek asked as the four of them walked out of the gallery into the night towards their cars. Derek had parked his green Camaro next to her Porsche.
"I don't drink my weight in caffeine for my health."
Both children wanted to ride with Derek, but Calliope shook her head, not feeling comfortable wedging Emeline's car seat into the small back seat in Derek's sports car. In the end, Derek moved Jack's booster seat from his car to the back of Calliope's SUV. From the driver's seat of the SUV, Derek leaned out the window and called to Calliope, who was putting the top down on the Camaro.
"I'll meet you at Matchbox."
Calliope gave him a thumbs up before tying her hair back and punching the radio to the eighties station. Billie Jean started playing as Calliope pulled the car out after Derek and followed him onto Forth Street.
"Okay, guys, Toy Story or Finding Nemo?" Derek slipped the Toy Story soundtrack into the CD player and started singing with them as the first song started playing. Checking in the review mirror, Derek saw Calliope still behind them as they turned left onto the streetlight-lit Independence Avenue.
They were driving down Pennsylvania Avenue, just entering the intersection with Seventh Street, when Derek saw it. The Mercedes speeding down Seventh wasn't slowing for it's red light. If Derek kept going or slammed on his breaks, the sedan would collide right into the backseat of the SUV. The Mercedes crossed into the intersection and Derek slammed on his breaks, jerking the wheel to the left as hard as he could.
Screams melded with the earsplitting screech of metal merging together as the two cars met nose to nose. The airbag exploded in Derek's face as the front of the SUV crumpled and he jerked forward and then back, slamming his head into the headrest. The SUV went forwards as far as it could into the Mercedes and jerked violently backwards when the wheels and axel stopped any forward trajectory. Derek's head bashed into the door as the Porsche left the ground and landed on it's two front wheels before bouncing backwards to the left. They rocked onto the side wheels and Derek clenched his jaw and prayed.
A/N:
LB: Guess what?
Me: Hmmm?
LB: PROMETHEUS.
Honestly, I love my little brother. I was sitting at the kitchen table finishing the last paragraph of this chapter and he stopped as he was leaving the kitchen to go into his bedroom and did this. He's pretty much the best. I don't know what I'd do without my Munchkin.
I was going to go for a bike ride today. Instead, I wrote roughly 2,000 words and watched NCIS. Oops. Do you know how many car crash tests I watched to make sure I wrote the crash realistically? WAY TOO MANY. I've only been in one car accident and I really can't remember much of it. Anyways, ohhhhh what's gonna happeeeeeeen? I dunno.
HAPPY, REN? HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? I hope so because, if you're not, I'm hunting you down and smacking you in the face. All because I love you, of course.
So Ellie Goulding is crazy popular on my radio stations right now, which is really weird for me. I found her music through a fanfic I was reading, like, almost two years ago and YouTubed her, because I wanted to hear the music I was reading. (I do that all the time, by the way, because I'm way too curious for my own good.) Anyways, I liked her music, so I, uh, procured it in a not so, uh, good? way. IT WASN'T OUT TO BE PURCHASED IN THE STATES, I'M SORRY. So I never heard it anywhere but my iPod. I hadn't listened to her in a long time and then all of a sudden I was listening to the radio and Lights started playing. So I got out my iPod and started listening to her music again. Well, actually, I figured she was available in the US now, so I went to iTunes and actually bought the album and deleted my, uh, other set. Well, except for the tracks that aren't available in the US. Because I'm my grandfather's granddaughter. Anyways, now I've been listening to her for the past week and remembering why I fell in love with the YouTube videos a bazillion years ago. "Starry Eyes," "Writer" and "Under The Sheets" are my favourites. Though, I really love her version of "Your Song" too. Oh and "The End" and "Little Dreams." And "Human."
Why do artists do that? Why do they make some songs only available in one country? Do they really think people in other countries wouldn't want them? I want the entire Bright Lights album, not just the Lights she released here. Bah. So silly. They'd probably make a lot more money if they released all of the music everywhere instead of just certain songs in certain places. Whatever.
Okay. I'm off. Bye guys!
Thanks so much for reading and, please, tell me what you think - good or bad!
Love, Thalia