Chapter Four – Memories
The next morning, after all of the pre-school preparations, I headed out, my black shoes sliding in the wet grass of the forest. I yawned, twirling around here and there, before smiling. Today was a beautiful day!
"Hey, Naminé! Wait up!" I paused, turning around to see who had called, to watch Sora bound down the hill and slip. Roxas came up from behind him, shaking his head groggily.
"Good morning, Sora!" I greeted with a smile. I turned to the blonde, sighing. "Good morning, Roxas."
"Mornin'!" Sora chirped in return, jumping back to his feet. Roxas grunted out an answer, his eyes flickering closed every so often. Watching him sway threateningly —as though he was about to topple over asleep—was quite comical.
"Do you mind if we walk to school with you?" Sora asked. He was bright and cheerful; happily awake. A morning person, I guess.
"No, I don't mind," I answered. Sora grinned, grabbing Roxas' arm and shaking him. Roxas protested with his eyes closed.
"No…stop it, Sora! I don't want to go to school…" he mumbled, finally toppling over onto his brother and using his shoulder as a pillow. Sora tried pushing him off, but the drowsy Roxas did not budge.
"Roxas! Get off!" Sora whined. He began shaking Roxas around again, this time managing to get his brother's head off of his shoulder. Roxas groaned, rubbing his eyes. I smirked, thoroughly amused.
"Roxas, you can sleep in first period, you know," I quipped. He nodded in response, yawning. He looked like a young child, acting so adorably. Sora took his shoulders, shaking him around.
"Just keep your eyes open until school," he instructed slowly. Roxas opened his eyes to glare down at Sora, but nodded.
"What was he doing last night?" I whispered to the brunette once we started walking.
"I'm not sure. After you left, he got all quiet, and he was thinking a lot. I don't think he got much sleep," Sora explained. I nodded, sighing.
"Sorry for yesterday," I said in a louder tone, facing both of the spiky haired twins. Sora waved it off and Roxas just squinted at me for a while before returning his gaze to the back of his eyelids.
We walked silently through Market Street, pushing our way through the crowd, until finally being dragged onto a somewhat full tram. I stared silently out of the window as Roxas took a nap besides me, and Sora stood, watching the scenery pass by. The people inside all respected each other, keeping their mouths closed and staring stiffly at nothing; the entire tram was tranquil, the only sound coming from the running of the wheels on the tracks.
Once the train came to a slow stop, we exited, now making our way up to Sunset Hill, where our school stood like a massive corporate business office. We passed other students, Sora and Roxas (well, Sora) smiling as they waved to each other. I kept my head down, walking straight.
"I'll see you guys later," I mumbled, scurrying off. I walked into Mr. Uchida's class room and noticed that Kairi was already there, cheerful and peppy, sitting straight up in her seat. She waved at me, beckoning me over.
"Good morning, Naminé!" she chirped, grinning. I smiled back, taking my seat.
"Good morning, Kairi," I said back, as more kids began filing in through the door. I watched Kairi from the corner of my eye, a small smile spreading across my face as I watched her bounce up and down in her seat in anxiety.
"Hyper, much?" I joked. She turned to me, grinning.
"Yup! Four cups of coffee and a bag of gummy worms!"
I smirked at her as Mr. Uchida raced in, complaining about 'transportation problems' when really he was sulking because his wife had another nasty argument with him. He started the class in a fluster of unintelligent mumbled words, bringing all quiet conversations to an end as he glared at each and every student that opened his or her mouth. He then turned to the black board, murderously scribbling down problems for us to decipher.
Yawning, I rested my head on my desk and closed my eyes. A nice, simple nap couldn't hurt…
When the bell rang, I sprang up from my seat and glanced around, surprised. Kairi smirked, handing me my bag.
"Have a nice nap?" she asked jokingly. I got up and stretched.
"Every second of it!" I answered cheerfully. I felt rejuvenated and fresh, ready to take on my next class. Kairi and I walked out into the hall before bidding each other farewell. The girls continued to glare along the hall; some even took the courtesy of ignoring my existence completely. I smiled as I stalked off to my next class.
I entered the biology room feeling invincible, like the looks the girls gave me passed right through me to the person behind me. Skipping over to my window seat, I propped all of my supplies on my desk and folded my hands neatly.
Roxas came wobbling in moments later. He was swaying from side to side like a drunken man, the bags under his eyes looking heavier than before; Sora must have kept him up all through first period. He tripped over his own feet and landed clumsily on his chair; within seconds, he was out like a light.
I watched him sleep like the stalker I am. He looked so peaceful, so unbelievably adorable with that tiny little smile, so innocent. His face rested on his arms, facing the wall, but I could still see a good portion; I was the only one who could gaze at the sleeping beauty. His hair, which normally pointed up and out, now tried resisting the wood beneath them, flattening them out so it looked funny. He didn't snore, but his mouth wasslightly open as he took heavy breaths. I giggled quietly to myself.
I was suddenly aware of the many glares and envious glances getting sent in my direction. I faced them on, acting oblivious as I observed my surroundings. Most girls were giving Roxas dreamy sighs, probably getting lost in a deep thought bubble of fantasies. Others, like Selphie and Yuna, began applying make-up all along their faces and slipping notes drowned in perfume into his bag. I rolled my eyes, smiling slightly as Roxas shifted, unaware.
Mr. Sparrow burst into the room, groggily explaining something about the bathroom, a water bottle, and a flask before scribbling nonsense about piracy onto the board. Honestly, everyone knew he had been drinking. My classmates—who had fallen silent at our teacher's entrance—began silent conversations with each other, mumbling unintelligible things. Some girls sent suggestive winks in my general direction; when I stared back at them curiously shocked, I noticed that Roxas had awoken from his slumber.
"Finally awake?" I asked quietly. He rubbed his eyes cutely, frowning.
"Not quite," he answered, stretching his arms up over his head and turning slightly in his chair. He looked more alive, at least. I figured now was the time to apologize properly for before.
"I'm sorry about yesterday. I just… yeah," I mumbled. Roxas looked at me oddly, raising an eyebrow.
"You already apologized. And it's no big deal."
"Yeah, but when I apologized earlier, you were half dead."
"Didn't mean I couldn't hear."
"No, no, I'm just surprised you remember."
"It's not that shocking, really," he mumbled under his breath, turning away.
During our small banter, the girls around me were silenced, wondering how exactly I captured Roxas's attention. They tried mimicking me, but Roxas would only answer with casual yeses or nos. it made me feel special inside, even though I wasn't really on friendly terms with the blonde next to me.
The class carried on in quiet conversations as many in the front row tried to lull Mr. Sparrow to sleep. I stayed distant from the word, fishing around in random memories, testing my power. If I could dig into the core—the birthplace of all memories, the heart—I would find some really juicy information. Yuna was usually subject to these tests; most of the time, my victims were left fidgety and uncomfortable, having experienced a feeling of violation. Unfortunately, I wasn't capable of digging so far into some memories: The heart is a battleground, and it was like I was one soldier fighting millions in my path to the heart. I gave up on Yuna, moving on to Selphie.
Selphie Tilmitt is a very shallow person who would put looks and popularity status above all else. If you hate those people who talk like "Oh my god, I just like, totally chipped my manicure!" then you will utterly despise the brunette head cheerleader. Typical, really; to be number one, you need to be in the 'in crowd'; easily accessible through the cheerleading squad. She has her eyes set on making Roxas—the best player next to Sora—her famous, beyond popular boyfriend. I doubt she cares about what was in his heart.
Roxas! It had just dawned on me that Roxas could be very suitable prey to my memory chaining. His heart was probably the biggest battlefield of all; but that only intrigued me further. Smirking, I closed my eyes and pushed my mental barrier around his slumped form.
The first couple of chains protecting his heart are easily passable; I just skip right through every memory in the area. As I get closer and closer to the center, it gets harder—much harder. Roxas was a very tough cookie to crumble, after all. I visit recounts of his childhood, pass memories of growing up, and fish up a decent painful moment between him and Sora. Curious, I stop the process, watching the memory like a film reel.
A very young Sora—maybe three years old—is being held up by a very young looking Tifa. He's bawling; reaching out for something I couldn't see. Something flashed at the bottom of the makeshift screen; a pair of hands, very tiny, reaching for Sora; I understood. Something must have happened years ago that separated Roxas and Sora throughout his childhood. The viewpoint shifts upwards; and Roxas' father is there, steely, emotionless, only a twinge of pain seen by the small tear that rolls off of his cheek. A sniff; a crying Roxas. The toddler's hands fall out of sight, and another sniff is heard.
"Daddy, what's happening?" he asks in such a cute, immature voice. He tries to be strong.
"Mommy wants to stay here. Daddy has to train you for the games," the emotionless father had answered.
"What about Sora?"
"He's a bad influence to you, Roxas. You need to stay away from him while you train."
"Why? Why can't Sora come with me?"
"Because he isn't ready. No more questions; all will show itself in the future."
The memory cuts short suddenly and I'm flying out of Roxas' head like I've been blown back from an explosion. I almost fall out of my chair, rocking slightly in shock; was Roxas powerful enough to push me out of his head? Impossible. No one has ever done that before. I peek at him, and notice the pain and fear crossing his eyes. He's clutching his head, digging his fingers into the roots of his golden spikes, shaking his head.
"No, not again… Not that memory…no…" he mumbles. A feeling of extreme guilt washes over me; I shouldn't have pried.
Gently, reassuringly, I put a hand on his shoulder. "Roxas, are you alright?"
He turns, slowly, unclenching his hands. His bright eyes are clouded in fear and denial. He shakes his head, trying to smile.
"I'm fine," he says, like he's trying to convince himself. I feel another wave of guilt crash down, but I keep silent. Maybe if I buried the memory again…
No. No more interfering. Besides, his mind is completely blocked off to me. I can't even get a single vibe from him; it's like an iron wall has been placed between us. I shake it off, trying to focus on anything but him.
The class dragged on, but as soon as the bell rang, I was out the door. I wanted to keep as much distance between Roxas and me as possible; any more temptations to infiltrate his mind might just make me insane. I rushed to the cafeteria, burst through the doors, and scrambled over to Kairi and Xion.
"Hey," they greeted, mouths stuffed with sandwich. I waved in return, mentally slapping myself for forgetting lunch money.
"I heard from Sora that you're their new neighbor; what's going on there?" Kairi asked slyly, poking a milk carton as if she were uninterested. My eyes narrowed.
"Nothing, Kairi. It's the same as any old neighbor," I answered smartly. She huffed, unable to respond, so Xion took over.
"Any signs of romance?" she asked quietly, smirking. She huddled closer to Kairi as a large group of obnoxious boys passed by.
"No, and there will be none. I actually fought with Roxas a little instead."
The two (well, mostly Kairi, since Xion was still worming away from the students passing by) stared at me in disbelief. "Why did you fight him?"
"I was irritated, okay! I… don't know why I did, but he just set something off inside of me," I mumbled, slouching forward. The more I think about it, the dumber I seem.
"Well, apologize and let the love fester!" Kairi hissed. I mock glared at her.
"I did apologize, and I will not 'let the love fester' because that seriously sounds disgusting," I snapped back, using air quotes at the right time. Kairi ended the stupid argument by sticking her tongue out. Xion giggled quietly.
It was silent between the three of us until the boys came over. Of course, Hayner and Sora were louder than a parade of rampaging elephants, so conversation managed to pick up again. I was delighted to add Olette to the table when she quietly walked over and waved.
"So, Roxas. What's it like to live next to Namine?" Kairi pressed. I groaned, giving her a look to drop the subject. She ignored me.
"Annoying," Roxas smirked. I gave him an evil glare. He sent one right back.
"Ooh, things are heating up between our little emo couple," Riku chuckled. We both shot our death glare on him.
"I am not emo!" I shouted, pointing an accusing finger at his chest. Xion squeaked from the sudden movement. Roxas said nothing, just poked around in his lunch. "You're not denying it?" I asked quizzically. He shrugged.
"Why deny it? Everyone calls me emo already. I'm used to it," he mumbled, trembling a bit. The guilt washed over me again, but I couldn't apologize for it; What could I say, 'I was fishing around in your head when I found a memory and accidentally pulled it up to the surface'? He wouldn't believe me. Besides, no matter how much I wanted to set it right, I still couldn't access his memories; it was like they never existed to me. A part of me was severely irritated, while the other part saw it as a warning label. Despite my better judgment, I apologized anyway.
"What are you sorry for?" Sora asked in return. Roxas had jerked his head up and stared at me curiously. I shook my head.
"Nothing," I mumbled before picking myself up and walking away.
I remember why I didn't have friends. I couldn't trust any of them in the past; and when I managed to build the courage to burrow into their minds, I found information I should have never seen. My so called 'friends' planning my downfall; hoping to push me to the bottom rung of the social ladder. I wasn't going to let it happen back then; I separated myself.
Now, as I gain the friendship of very popular boys, I cut my ties again. No one could be trusted; not even a cheerful girl like Kairi. I knew that somewhere deep inside, there was a darkness in every heart. A darkness I didn't want to see. I know everyone has something against me to hate me for.
I hopped up the stairs onto the roof of the school, walking into the corner and burying my face into my knees. I had to be alone.
"You don't have food, do you?"
My head jerked up, and I noticed that the door had never fully closed. Roxas stood in front of it, holding a small roll of bread. He had followed me. Why?
He made his way over to my crouched form, leaning against the wall and sliding down next to me. He handed me the bread, which I took gratefully. It was quiet between us as he watched me eat.
"Why'd you leave?" he asked after awhile. I shrugged.
"Trust issues, basically," I summed up, laughing sadly at my lameness.
"You know, we won't just pretend to be your friends like all those other girls did. Don't explain, Kairi told me," he said when I gave him a shocked look. "You have to believe me."
"I…can't. I've been through too much. And trust me, you've been beaten to this speech already," I sighed, hanging my head again. He awkwardly pats my shoulder.
"Namine. I would know about trust issues. I'm a celebrity; everyone wants to be my friend. Can't trust anyone though. But… you're different. For the first time since we were little, someone talked back to us, showed us she was indifferent. That she didn't care. That you didn't care," he said softly. I looked up to him, noticing his pained expression. I laughed humorlessly.
"I guess we really are emo," I joked. He smiled, picking himself up.
"Give it some time. You don't have to trust us now, but if anyone, you'll warm up to Kairi. That girl doesn't know when to quit," he said, sliding his hands into his pockets. I jump to my feet as well.
"I'll take your word for it."