That stupid, stupid man. I am going to kill him.

She couldn't believe that after she had spent the whole morning organising their dinner (and considerable emotional toil) that her sensei had left after just barely 4 minutes.

Is that all he was after. A free dinner. Was he really that adverse to spending time with them? With her?

Speaking of free dinners, she just realised that she had left Sai and Sasuke with the bill. Oh well, she had more important things to deal with at the moment. She'd just have to avoid them for the next week. Make that two.

She had no idea what to do, what her next step would be. What she really felt like doing was to go and give Kakashi a piece of her mind. She was just so mad at him. Did he even realise how much he was hurting his former team?

Especially Naruto. She wasn't really mad at him, like he suspected. She knew it wasn't his fault. There was no way he could have stopped the copy-ninja once he had his mind set on leaving.

No the blame lay totally on Kakashi. The only problem was, she had no idea where he lived. Just another thing he had kept secret about himself. She knew Naruto knew where he lived, but she realised that he was avoiding her avidly at the moment. And going back to the bastard and the freak wasn't an option either.

So that left one very irate kunoichi.

But just as quickly as her anger had risen, it just as quickly left, to be replaced by misery.

The message was pretty clear now. She had been fooling herself before to think that she could somehow get him to like her back.

Her memories of the other night were a bit fuzzy, but she could remember a time in there when Kakashi had responded to her kiss, just a little bit. She had taken this to mean that he was just holding back, held back by his moralities. Even when they were arguing yesterday, she remembered his moment of tenderness, when he had held her face, and then when she had hugged him.

She realised now that he had just felt sorry for her. Pathetic little student of his, not even a jounin yet, thinking that she had a chance with him, the almighty copy-nin. No wonder he had avoided her for so long. He mustn't of thought she was worthy of his time.

Ugh, how could I be so stupid.

She could feel the tears welling in her eyes, and suddenly felt the need to sit down. To wrap herself in a little ball and cry her eyes out. But she just didn't have the effort to walk home, and seeing how she was still a chuunin, hadn't perfected the art of just transporting herself there either.

She quickly flopped herself onto the nearest bench, pulled her knees to her chest and let the tears fall out. Somewhere between her sobs she realised this was the third time she had cried that week.

No wonder Kakashi hated her. She was so weak. She should have learnt from Sasuke. She thought she had. She had told herself that she wouldn't let another guy make her feel that bad about herself. At first she had done this by forgoing guys all together. But somehow she had let her ex-sensei, with his cool attitude, quick wit and oh so hot body niggle his way into her heart.

And now here she was again. Weeping, feeling utterly sorry for herself. For the second time in her life she was left heartbroken.

Wasn't it supposed to come in balances. What was that old saying, you take the good with the bad. Well so far she hadn't experienced any good.

After Sasuke had left, she had worked her but off, begging Tsunade for and apprenticeship (when it became apparent Kakashi couldn't be bothered with her), training nearly every day. She kept to a strict routine of hospital shifts, fitness training and jutsu practice, leaving little time for a social life.

And still she was weak, still just a chuunin.

And she had spent so long forgoing boys (not that many had actually approached her) thinking instead to focus her attention on her career.

Now both her love life and career were failures.

By now Sakura had stopped crying, and was just looking gloomily down at her feet.

She hadn't realised before how ugly they were. All weird-shaped with little podgy toes.

Great, even her feet were failures.

She realised somewhere in the back of her brain that she was over-reacting a little bit, but at the moment all she wanted to do was wallow in her misery. It was time for chocolate and ice cream, and wrapping herself in her doona with a box of tissues on stand-by.

With that thought in mind she grudgingly got up and made her way to the nearest convenience store. She didn't really feel like dealing with anyone else at the moment, but she knew she had no junk food at home, opting for a more healthy diet.

Mmmmm. Chocolate and Honeycomb, Hazelnut swirl or Cookies and Cream. Who knew there were so many ice cream flavours to choose from. She could always just buy all three. She reckoned she would need a lot of ice cream in the week to come.

She stood there pondering her choice in the middle of the aisle, not conscious of the ninja that came up behind her.

"Hey Sakura,"

She jumped at the sudden voice, banging her head on the shelf in the process.

Rubbing it vigorously she turned around to face the now laughing ninja before her.

"Sheesh Kotetsu, you scared the daylights out of me. You can't just go sneaking up on a person like that."

"Ha, sorry bout that. Don't blame it on me though, you were the one that was out of it."

She knew he was right, but she didn't feel like being fair tonight.

"Whatever, can you just go now. I don't feel like talking tonight."

Or nice.

"Shit Sakura, I was only joking before. I probably shouldn't have laughed. That was rude of me. I really am sorry."
Ugh, why did he have to be so kind. Now he was making her feel bad. The jerk.

"That's alright. Listen, I'm just not in a good mood ok. It would probably be better if you just avoid me for a while."

Being Tsunade's apprentice, she had gotten to know Kotetsu and his best buddy Izumo quite well. She didn't see them that often, seeing how busy Tsunade kept them all, but whenever they did see each other they always stopped to have a word, complain about the hokage and what not. But right now she had a bed at home with her name written all over it, with some junk food in her basket just begging to be eaten. She wanted Kotetsu to leave as soon as possible. But he seemed disinclined to follow.

"Is there anything I can help you with. I can try and help if you'd like."

"Uh, no that's alright. I think I can manage. Thanks anyway" She replied, quickly grabbing the nearest ice cream carton and leaving.

But as she heard footsteps behind her she realised that she couldn't get rid of him so easily.

"Ya know, if you're looking for comfort food, I think I can be of assistance," he piped up.

Now that had her surprised. He quickly read her thoughts from her expression and chuckled lightly.

"I grew up with four sisters. I think I know the symptoms by now. And the cure. You've got the basics but you'll probably need more."

"What do you mean?"
"Well, marshmallows for a start. Good to munch on and convenient to throw, when you start to get angry again. No breakages."

"Um…"
"Cookie-dough's always good too, though can be a bit sickly. I recommend it only in small doses."

"Oh…thanks."

She left to get the items he prescribed, while he followed her the whole way. Finally when her basket was full they made their way to the cashier.

But when it came time to pay for it he gently shoved her out of the way and started getting his own money out.

"What are you doing?"

"It's the least I can do for scaring you before, and making you hurt yourself. How is it by the way?"
"I, uh, it's fine, but you don't have to pay. It wasn't really that big a deal you know."

She was quite puzzled by now. His actions tonight certainly weren't in sync with his previous behaviour. And now he wanted to pay for her food, just cause he scared her a bit. She didn't really know how to take it.

"Nuh, I insist. Let's just say I'm a gentleman helping out a damsel in distress. You wouldn't want to tarnish my heroic reputation would you."

"Still, I really think-"

"Listen, it's no sweat Sakura. See ya round k." he smiled at her before exiting the shop, leaving Sakura staring dumbfounded after him

Weird.

Oh well, she'd think about that later. Right now she had some serious wallowing to do.

--------

The next week went by in a blur. By the third night, she had realised how stupid she was being, and had thrown out the rest of her junk food, though there wasn't much left at that point. She went back to her normal routine of working all day, leaving little time to think about what a mess her life was.

She had managed to avoid Kakashi for the whole week, but that wasn't saying much. Even back when she had wanted to see him she never could. Either on missions or up in some hidey hole reading his porn. Or just plain avoiding her.

Naruto, Sasuke and Sai had all gone off on some high ranking mission for jounin only. Unfortunately she hadn't had a chance to talk to Naruto since the night at Ichiraku's, only finding out about their mission second hand from Shizune.

Today had been the same as the others. She had woken up early and went through her hour-long exercise regime. Then started her shift at the hospital. She was just finishing up, about to go train, when Shizune called out to her.

"Sakura, hey, wait up."

Sakura turned around wearily, knowing what was coming.

"What is it this time Shizune?"

"I'm sorry Sakura. Tsunade was meant to do some physicals today, but one of them didn't show up. However, he has just turned up now, but she's already left for the council meeting. I was wondering if you could give him a check-up instead."

Great, just what she needed. Some loser who had no respect for the busy time-schedules of the doctors that took care of them and saved their lives. But of course she wouldn't say no.

"Fine. What room is he in?"

"Second floor, room 3b. Thanks Sakura. I really appreciate it." She smiled warmly, giving her a file, before leaving the hospital.

Sakura watched her enviously before turning around and making her way up to the room.

She opened the door, and moved towards the little cupboard that held her gloves and stethoscope. She opened the file as she did so, quickly scanning it.

"Good afternoon, Mr…Hatake!"
Sakura whipped her head around, and sure enough, leaning against the bed was the man she least wanted to see.

"Yo," he raised his hand casually, his eye creasing, "where's Tsunade?"
He looked as if nothing had even happened between them.

"You were late. She left. Now you're stuck with me." She replied angrily. "But I'd be more than happy to reschedule for you, knowing how much you hate to be in my presence."

He sighed wearily, as if her reactions were something he had expected. This only made her more angry.

"Maybe that would be a good idea."

"Oh so it's true, you do hate me. All that bullshit the other day was just a lie wasn't it, just another one of your fucking lies."

Another sigh.

"Sakura, you should calm down."
"Fuck you."

But she knew he was right. The hospital was not a good place to yell all the obscenities that she wanted to say to him. She knew anger wasn't the answer here. It would just make her seem even more childish in his eyes. Not that she cared what he thought of her anymore of course.

"Listen, I'm here now, so if you can force yourself to bear being with me for 20 minutes, I might as well check you up."

He stared at her intently for a minute, obviously analysing her actions, before acquiescing.

"Good," she replied, starting to put her gloves on, "Now lift up your shirt please."

--------

He knew he should never have come to get his yearly check-up. He had been dreading it all morning. Having to let someone into his personal space, letting them touch him, while he wasn't even sick. This is why he hated hospitals.

He had tried to put it off as late as possible, but come 5.00 he knew that if he left it any longer Tsunade would give him a real reason to visit the hospital. And he really didn't feel like getting any more broken bones. Made it hard to concentrate on reading.

When he had finally made it to the hospital, he was welcomed by an annoyed Shizune, and was promptly told to wait in the present room. He had watched as the clock ticked by, hoping Tsunade wasn't too angry with him. She should be used to it by now anyway.

But when the door opened and instead of the curvy blonde, a slim pink haired former student of his walked into the room, he was totally thrown. He had known she worked at the hospital of course, but considering how much effort he put into avoiding both the hospital and Sakura, he had never actually seen her at work. Therefore he couldn't quite register the thought that she could actually play doctor with him.

He watched as she walked over to the cabinet in the corner, seeming quite confident in her position. He must admit, she looked quite a bit older in her white medical jacket, almost of an age where he would be interested. But this image quickly faded, as she opened his medical file, and promptly threw a tantrum.

In a situation like this, he always reverted to the tactics he knew worked best, playing it cool. Actually, this was how he dealt with his whole life. He had learnt early it was the easiest way to deal with people. It especially worked a treat with Gai. And it was always amusing to see how annoyed he could get them.

And by the looks of it, Sakura was quite annoyed. He sighed. He really didn't want to deal with this right now. Or ever. And said as much to her.

But she only grew more annoyed, calling him a liar. Which irked him a little bit. Because what he'd told her about how he felt about their team had been the complete truth. It had been one of the only times in his life he had been completely honest with his feelings, both to her and himself.

But he could see she wasn't being reasonable at the moment, her anger clouding her judgement, so he let it slip. No use arguing. And by the looks of it, if she got any angrier, something in this room would get damaged, either the furniture or himself..

"Sakura, you should calm down."

He realised as soon as he said it how condescending it might sound. If anything it might just fuel her anger.

"Fuck you."
Yep.

Time to just leave. That's what he was good at after all. But her next words stopped him short.

"Listen, I'm here now, so if you can force yourself to bear being with me for 20 minutes, I might as well check you up."

By now he had expected things to start being thrown at him. She'd really grown to resemble Tsunade in that sense. And he knew from experience that they both could generate a lot of power behind those throws. Instead she decided to follow his advice, and lose her angry approach.

But her words hurt him slightly. Despite what she thought, he definitely did not hate her. He hadn't wanted to hurt her before, but he knew that a relationship between the two of them was a very bad idea. He was too far gone now, too old and damaged. He'd suffered too many times in his life to just open himself up to more. He didn't trust it anymore.

And someone like her, so young and still innocent to the tragedies of life didn't need someone like him to bring her down. He'd just force her to grow up too early, and he didn't want that on his conscious. Just another thing to feel guilty about.

But he didn't want her to end up hating him either.

Why did this have to be so difficult? Why couldn't she just be like the boys, and not give a crap about him. But thinking back to that night at Ichiraku's he had to admit that wasn't quite true. Naruto had made it pretty clear that he had wanted Kakashi to stay. And he had sensed from the others, that under their surprise and suspicions, they had seemed happy to see him.

He looked back at Sakura, and nodded slightly, watching while she put her gloves on.

"Good. Now lift up your shirt please."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you sure that's necessary."

"What, you think I only agreed to do this physical so I could feel you up." She replied a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"No, but it definitely is an added benefit." He smiled at her.

He could see her answering smile on her lips, despite how hard she was trying to hide it.

"Up yourself much?"

She got her stethoscope out and pressed it to his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He had expected her hands to be cold, but they were quite warm, moving over his chest like a caress. It had been a long time since he had had someone touch him like this.

It felt nice.

"Mmm, heart beat is steady, very strong."

"So I'm not gonna die anytime soon then."

"Not if I can help it." She said, looking into his eyes, a slight blush rising on her face.

Ahh, he had missed this. The easy banter, slight teasing. Back when he was their sensei, and then team leader, it had been like this every day with his team. It was one of the things he had missed most when he decided to avoid them.

"Now turn around, and cough when I tell you to."

He complied, and felt her gentle hands against his skin again.

"So you're a doctor now huh,"

"Cough. Medic-nin, not doctor. And I've been doing this for years now. Cough. I thought you knew that."

"Yeah well, I hadn't realised you were so advanced, you know, practicing on your own patients, by yourself."

She looked at him weirdly for a moment, before continuing the exam.

"I've been doing that since I was 14. Hold out your tongue and say Aagh. Actually, I'm head medic-nin now. I'm teaching the next generation of medic-nin now. I feel so old." She smiled.

He looked back at her, surprised. "But you're still only a chuunin."

Her smile quickly disappeared.

"Just rub it in why don't you." She sighed. "I know all there is to know on medical jutsu, and can literally bring people back from the dead. But when it comes to offensive jutsu, those used in fights, I'm still lacking. I guess it's cause I know how much damage they can afflict, since so many times I've had to heal my friends after missions. Knowing that, I just can't put my all into it.

And Tsunade's been great and all, but she just hasn't been able to train me much these days. Her hokage work is pretty time consuming. I haven't been able to learn any new jutsu, and my taijutsu's not really up to scratch either. It's hard when you've only got yourself to train against."

"Why haven't you asked someone to train with you then."

"Who? Sasuke and Sai are a big no-no. I've tried Naruto but he doesn't really take me seriously. He doesn't want to hurt me. And usually the bastard will turn up half-way through and then they'll argue before going off and sparring. That's when they're not on missions."
"Maybe another sensei then."
"Well I would ask Kurenai, but with her baby, and her new genin squad, I don't really want to bother her. And I tried training with Gai once, and I'm not doing that again."

"You asked Gai? When?"
He didn't know why, but the idea that she had asked Gai to train her, and not him, niggled him somewhat.

"A couple of months ago, before the jounin exam."

"Hn"

Sakura missed his irked tone, as she wrote in his file. He watched, noticing as her face screwed up in thought, her tongue poking out slightly as she wrote. Cute.

"You could have asked me."

This did get her attention. She glanced up from her writing to look at him confusedly.

"Uh, sorry?"
"You could have come to me. I could have helped you. It's my job."

"I, I thought…hey, you're the one that left us. You didn't seem to care anymore."

He was now beginning to see just how much his actions had hurt his former team. The thing was, although he had always thought of them as his family, he had no idea they had felt the same way. Until now.

"I'm sorry, Sakura."

…

"For leaving you guys. I regret it now. No matter how scared I was, you guys needed me, as a teacher if nothing else."

…

"And I'm sorry for leaving the other night too. That was rude of me."

…

"Well, are you going to say something."

All of a sudden she burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just that, that's the first time I've ever heard you apologise."

"Hn. Yeah, well don't get used to it."

But he had to admit, she looked quite pretty when she was laughing. Her joy just seemed to roll off her, and spread around the room. Oh my god. That sounded just like something Gai would say.

Before he could embarrass himself further though, the door to the room opened, and Kotetsu's head appeared.

"Hey Sakura, sorry, am I interrupting you?"

Yes

"No not at all. Would you like something?"

"Yeah actually. But not right now. Maybe after you're finished. Are you doing anything?"

"Well actually, I was supposed to go training."

"No sweat, we could train together. If that's alright with you, of course"

"Um, sure. I'm nearly finished here, so why don't you just wait outside for me."

Kakashi watched this interaction with growing agitation. Hadn't he just offered to train with her? And now she's gone and decided to train with this loser instead.

He glared at the boy (because seriously, he could hardly be called a man. Not like him), until he disappeared again.

He glanced back down at Sakura noticing her blush had reappeared.

"Weird," he heard her mutter under her breath.

"You don't have to train with him if you don't want to. I can go out and tell him you changed your mind."

"Um, no it's alright, I don't mind. You're the one who said I should find someone to train with anyway."

Yeah, me.

She got up and started to pack away her stuff.

"Listen, your check-up went very good. You're in perfect health, though I did notice you're a bit tense in your muscles. You might wanna find some way to relax, like a massage or bath or something. Other than that though you're fine, and free to go. I'll see you around k, or not."

She didn't wait for a reply as she left the room in a hurry, leaving Kakashi sitting on the bed, pondering these new feelings he were having.

Oh Kami, why was life so difficult.