Disclaimer: I do not own anything within this story as it all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I would also like you to give me a break, I don't write very often. Please review and give suggestions if you want.

.o.o.

Chapter 3: The Truth and Horrors

.o.o.

Seeing other magical beings brutally slaughter muggles is horrible, but usually when they do die there's a flash and they don't get up. Yes, they are usually crucioed and imperioused until they're crazy, but seeing muggles kill muggles, this was nearly unbearable. Dreams like those; especially when you realize they actually happened to someone you knew, and that they had done nothing wrong in their lives ever, make you want to die inside. That was what I wanted to do at that moment, drop dead for them so Dannie could have his family back. Except that only made sense in my mind, it was nonsense all in all… The dream continued but thankfully jumped past all the gruesome details, to me standing by a lake watching the two men weighting down the bags with bricks and throwing them into the middle of a lake, I looked around trying to soak up the sights that surrounded my dream self, but I woke up. I woke up then panting and gasping for breath. Now, this dream might not have seemed too long, and when I look back it went slower that one would think, but I as I looked frantically around the empty room I screamed for someone to come. Dannie was the first one in and scrambled to kneel by my bedside, he held my clammy hand and said he was so happy I was awake, and my Mother was the next into the room she looked so happy to see me awake and I couldn't comprehend why. She turned to Dannie and silently ushered him out of the room, then she leant down and swept me up into the most loving hug I'd ever felt from her. She quietly whispered in my ear that the doctor had thought I wouldn't wake up, and I looked at her in confusion. It was then she pointed to the small calendar I had next to my bed. She had lovingly crossed off the dates for me and I saw that the date was June 22; I had been unresponsive for a little over a week. As I thought about it I secretly wondered why I hadn't been taken to a hospital, but my parents never trusted hospitals after a surgery my father had gone through before I was born. That was why we paid extra for a doctor to come to our home. I shouldn't really say that, it was more than a home; it was larger than what you would think. You see, my parents were rather successful dentists, I mean, we weren't drowning in money but we paid the bills with quite a bit leftover every month… which ended up going towards a five bedroom, four and a half bath residence about half an hour from their practice.

I sat for the next night on my bed, thinking is what my parents thought and Dannie probably thought his bookworm neighbor had her amazingly bushy hair buried in a book, but I was thinking of what I'd dreamed; remembering, writing in my journal (omitting those details due to personal issues) and contemplating the first more than the second. I couldn't fathom that the first could be true, leading me to believe the second was even more preposterous. How on earth could I be married to Voldemort and having an affair with Hogwarts very own Bouncing Ferret, Draco Malfoy. It was more than 100 percent impossible. Wasn't it?

June 22, 1996

My mother and Dannie have just informed me that it's been a week since I had seen them last, and that they had been so worried for me. That somewhat surprises me on Dannie's part; I mean we've never been close, acquaintances you could say, but not close friends. Being a teenager is confusing, and it makes it even harder that I'm away at Hogwarts most of the year; I don't know anyone here at home well at all, at least not like everyone else knows each other. Why shouldn't they be friends, they've gone to school for five years without me, at least they know what to talk about with one another. I don't know what bands are in now; I can't really get magic out of my head… I guess I know now that once I leave Hogwarts I shouldn't come back to the muggle world, it would be too hard. While I was out my dreams were weird. The first was the weirder one, while the second was simply bloody to a horrible extent. In the first dream I was in bed with Draco Malfoy, isn't that just the silliest thing you've ever bloody heard? I mean that bastard's called me a mudblood for the last four years, and it's been my all to not bawl when he gets crueler. It hurts so much to know that someone dislikes me that much, what did I ever do to him? I guess in his opinion being born is enough of a crime. But in the dream he and I had just finished having sex, I mean come on, that is never going to happen! I told him to leave and it was then I noticed the dark mark on his forearm. As I think about it I should've known I would dream him up evil, it's just what I think of him. The dream continued and just as we were about to have sex again my husband came into the room, Malfoy saw him before I did and bowed before disapperating. I slowly turned to face my husband and I was shocked to see that I was wed to Voldemort. He and I got into a fight about who I have my affairs with and how he owns my being, but I told him he could never truly control me and walked away. I can remember waking for a small amount of time before passing out again when the second dream came. (Omission Due to Subject's Request) Isn't that just horrible? I'll never forget the bloody sight of Mr. and Mrs. Malloy and I will always be here for Dannie when he needs me. Always!

I'm sorry that I asked the writer not to publish that part of my diary but it brings back to many memories for me and I don't wish those thoughts onto the world. I find it rather ironic now when I said I'd always be there for Dannie yet I wanted to leave the muggle world behind forever…The rest of June went by so fast for me. Nothing of literature interest happened to me at all, just the usual fluff one expects out of summer. Here are the rest of the entries from June.

June 24, 1996

Yesterday was interesting; I woke up and lazily stumbled down the stairs and towards the kitchen. Dannie was there with my father making breakfast. He was at the stovetop frying bacon while my lovely father was flipping pancakes. I asked to help and my father nodded to the fruit basket, I got the message and began cutting our usual fresh fruits for breakfast. It was a usual lazy Monday morning at my house. I asked my father where mom was and he told me she wasn't up yet, that she wasn't feeling well. I knew my mother had spouts like these, when her diabetes would act up. She sat in bed munching on things until her levels were normal. Dannie and I said goodbye to my father as we watched him take a tray for two up to my mother. As we (Dannie and I) sat down I let myself turn to Dannie and raise an eyebrow, and we both started laughing so uncontrollably hard. We laughed for two reasons, at my fathers attempt to be romantic and, well I'm not sure what the other reason was…

It's amazing what connections the mind of a teenager can make isn't it?

June 25, 1996

I just returned from Doctor Griffin's office today. I really, really dislike shrinks, but I guess that's what my parents think will help me more than anything. Today we talked about what is going through my mind about the kidnapping and possible murders of Mr. and Mrs. Malloy, and Dannie moving into my family's home. In my opinion I had no problem with any of these things, well… I guess I shouldn't bloody write in ink, eh? I meant that I have no problems with Dannie living with us and that the Malloy's disappearance deeply disturbs me. Somehow, out of that, my wonderfully psychotic, over thinking, female doctor thinks that I have an obsession of having sex with Dannie. She also felt she should talk with my parents about putting me on birth control. I didn't know what to think, I simply told her Dannie and I were too much of enemies to do that, and that I was only 15 and didn't need to be thinking about that instead of my school work… that bloody witch just laughed and if I didn't know any better I'd say she was rooting for me to – you know – with Dannie… yuck…She did say that I better watch myself because I was physically growing up, I merely scoffed at her.

June 27, 1996

I'm more afraid than usually… I've heeded my some of my therapist's advice in the sense that I've began staying away from Dannie, but about twelve in the afternoon today he confronted me after I got home from the library. Mum and Dad were at the office and were planning a late night there to go over books… it's nearly eleven and they still aren't home…Dannie wanted to know why I was acting so weird, and I couldn't even look him in the eye. He grabbed me by the arm and forced me to look him in the eye. He asked me again what was wrong and I froze, I couldn't speak… I just gaped like a fish and stuttered out nothing instead of words. For a while he just looked me in the eye before looking behind me for a second, his eyes going wide, then scampering off to 'his' room. I stood there in confusion, wondering what just happened before ducking into my own bedroom and flinging my body onto the bed. It was then I remembered you, my wonderful leather bound book of blank pages. I've also decided to begin drawing in you too, I'm not good but I'm not too horribly bad. Am I? Sketch of a young dragonet hatching from an egg on opposite page of diary

June 29, 1996

He kissed me. The bloody bastard kissed me, and I just stood there. Mum had just gotten home from work and was making chicken Alfredo in the kitchen and Dad wasn't coming home for a while, so she said. I went into the library to find the key for under the back staircase, I needed to do some work on a transfiguration essay Professor McGonagall assigned before break, and there was Dannie sitting on the old Victorian couch. I was startled to see Dannie there, and I had no idea what to do; did I go up to him, if I did, did I try to explain my actions last night, or did I simply ignore him and try to find the key. My brain was saying one thing, but my heart was saying another. I decided to listen to my brain and ignore him, so I went straight to my father's desk and opened up one of the drawers. Except he followed me, he gently grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. I stood there stunned, not knowing what to the say to him. Fortunately for me, the bloody bastard kissed me so I didn't have to say anything. I guess it was a blessing and a curse, but how do I explain why everything is so awkward and between us to my parents?

June 30, 1996

Dannie found me this morning and he asked me if we could just forget it ever happened. How am I supposed to forget that he kissed me? He says that it was just a mistake… that he never really meant to do it in the first place. Let me explain to you, diary, how it has all happened… that is how he found me, or rather why I let him. I'd just gotten out of bed, and I still didn't know what to think about the kiss, so when I heard a knock at the door… I just assumed that it wouldn't be him. That was a big mistake. I opened the door, and there he was. He was just standing in the doorway waiting for me. It's hard to explain what I felt; I think it was a mixture of happiness, confusion, and most likely anger. I tried to shut the door in his face, but he held it open. He pushed his way into my room, and tried to explain to me that he was just caught up in some dream, or idea of what he would like life to be like. I think he wants me to be some sort of a go-to-girl when things get too hard for him to deal with. After he left, I didn't go down to breakfast, I stayed in my room and cried.

As I go through these thoughts that I wrote, I realize how trivial it is to me now... I mean what does a simple kiss mean to a girl who had to kill to save her life? Who lost almost all who were dear to her? Who is in a loveless marriage? It really makes me think about everything that I did as a child... What about you?

.o.o.

.o.o.

.o.o.

So that's it for this chapter, please tell me what you think. If you read it, please review it.

InLove09