"I'm… I'm not…?" you ask, nervously. You think something has happened to your baby. What if you had a miscarriage? I mean, you HAD been jumping around a lot at the past concerts. "How is that possible? I took the pregnancy test and it came out positive!"
"Yes… but those tests can make mistakes sometimes." the doctor reassures you that nothing went wrong, "and your cycle is probably irregular, am I right?"
Now that you think about it, your period has never been regular.
You nod.
"Alright then. I think we're done then. You can go back out."
You get up and walk out the door to find James and the manager standing patiently by the door.
"So?" asks the manager.
"I'm not pregnant." you say.
"I knew it!" the manager yells, "you are not to be seen on that tour bus again, do you hear me?" he says to you.
You're taken aback by his comment.
"What? Why not?" you ask, defensively.
"I know what you're trying to do! You're just one of those insane fans that would do anything to have one of these boys by your side.. like faking a pregnancy!"
"WHAT! No! I didn't fake this! It was a mistake!" you can't believe what you're hearing.
"I really don't think that she faked it." says James, who'd been standing quietly since you walked out the door.
"I don't care what you think. You're not allowed here again. Is that clear?" the manager is now looking at James.
"Fine. It's not like it matters now. There's no more Big Time Rush." James says, grabs your hand and walks away.
He takes you into the tour bus. He closes the door behind him and turns to look at you.
"So…" he says, making his way over to the couch, "false alarm?" he asks.
"False alarm." you say.
You're unsure why, but you suddenly feel empty. Even.. sad, at the fact that you're not pregnant. You were really looking forward to this baby. And that was just taken away. In a flash.
"Are you happy about that?" you ask James.
James looks away and bites his lower lip.
"If I'm being honest, I was looking forward to it…"
You smile, "That's what I'm feeling too."
You both sit in silence for what seems like years.
Finally James shifts a little in his seat and turns to you.
"You are the most beautiful person I've ever met, you know that?" he says.
You sit there for a while, thinking of all the things you messed up for him, the band, and the fans.
"Why doesn't it feel like it?" you say in return, "I made this stupid mistake and now, the band is split up.. your dream is crushed. The fans are going to be devastated!"
"Don't punish yourself anymore." James says, putting his arm around you, "… it was bound to happen some time."
At that moment, you hear someone open the door.
You turn around and find Kendall coming inside.
"Of course… you're here. Together." he says, angry and disappointed, "Nevermind." he turns to walk away but James gets up and stops him.
"Wait. I was just comforting her…" he tells Kendall.
"Yeah, well you go ahead and comfort her. Maybe this time you'll actually make a baby and live happily ever after." Kendall responds.
"You heard?" you ask, getting up.
"yeah…" Kendall says, calmer. "Carlos and Logan told me. They said you looked upset. I just wanted to make sure you were alright, but I can see James is taking care of that already.. I'm just gonna go."
"Wait… Kendall…" you say. He turns back around and looks at you, "I want to apologize. I really, honestly am sorry. I should have told you right away. I just want you to know that I never meant for things to get so out of control."
"Me too…" James jumps in, "I'm really sorry bro. It was way out of line of me to do what I did. I can't say sorry enough… It shouldn't have happened."
Kendall stands there in silence, looking at you, then at James.
"I should apologize too." he says, "I shouldn't have yelled at you the way I did. I was angry. I mean, I still am, but I cooled down a bit."
Silence fills the room.
You look down at your feet. Unsure of what will happen next.
"You guys look really happy when you're together." Kendall says.
You're a little shocked at his statement.
"Do we?" you ask.
"Yeah. I've always thought you were going to end up with him… I just didn't want it to happen. I wanted you for myself…" Kendall begins to walk towards you and stops about three inches away from you."… but I'm not the one who makes you happy."
"You do make me happy, Kendall…" you answer. You grab the back of his neck with one of your hands, but he grabs your hand and puts it down.
"But not as happy as James." he says. The look on his face tears you apart. Kendall means so much to you, but the more you think about it, the more sense what he's saying makes. Maybe he was right.
"I want you to be happy. And if he makes you happy, then I guess I'll have to suck it up and deal with it." Kendall looks over at James, who is speechless, "… just take good care of her, okay?"
James nods and Kendall starts to walk away.
"Wait!" you say.
"What is it?" Kendall asks, this time he doesn't turn back around. He's still facing away from you.
"What about Big Time Rush?" you ask.
James and Kendall both turn to look at you.
"I want Big Time Rush back together…" you say, "I don't care if I can't go on tour with you guys, or even if I have to leave…"
The boys look at you, not knowing what to say.
You look at James, "I know it's your dream… and I'm not going to let you stop living it because of me. I just want you and you," you turn to Kendall, "to be happy."
"I can't be happy without you…" James says.
"I'm sure we can fix it." Kendall says.
"So.. does that mean you're back in the band?" you ask Kendall, hopeful.
"I guess so.." he says after a long pause.
"YES! FINALLY!" you hear Logan say. He comes into the bus with Carlos behind him. Both are cheering.
"Were you seriously listening the whole time?" you ask.
"We're always listening." Carlos says.
You can't help but laugh at the truth.
"I'm just glad this is all straightened out!" Logan says, "Now, let's go rehearse. We have a show tomorrow."
"Let's go, then." James says.
"I'll catch up.. I need to talk to her alone for just a second." Kendall says.
"Okay, hurry!" Carlos yells as they walk out.
"What is it?" you ask, curious to see what Kendall has to say.
"I just want to let you know that I'm here for you. I'm mad at you, but I'm here for you. Always. That will never change, you hear me?" he says.
"Loud and clear." you answer.
"Good… oh and one more thing..?" he asks.
"Sure, anything." you say.
"Can I have one last kiss?" he asks, his eyes shifting downwards.
You hesitate, "Are you sure?"
"I just want closure. You know?" he says, smiling.
"Okay." you say. You lean in and taste those familiar lips, one last time.
"That was nice." he says.
"Hahaha, I guess." you answer, "Now let's go."
You both leave and meet the other guys inside the building, in a large room, where they are rehearsing, "One in a Million".
"Here she is." Kendall says to James, "She's all yours."
"Thanks." James says, taking your hand.
"But if you hurt her, you die." Kendall says. Smiling.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" James asks.
"Yeah, are you sure?" you say.
"I'm positive. Seeing you smile is what helps me get through the day. And even though I'm not the one you're in love with, it still helps. As long as you're happy, I'll be happy." he replies.
You look at him and smile.
"Someday, you're going to find someone that deserves you. Someone that will never take you for granted. And she is going to make your life so much better than I was ever able to." you tell him.
With a sad look on his face, he says, "I know."
"YAY! We're all good, now can we please get back to rehearsing. My voice is all warmed up and ready for some action!" Logan says.
"Alright, alright." James says and with a long, sweet kiss he walks away to join his friends.
You have no idea what's going to happen next. But all you can do is pray for the best. You think about everything that happened.
I know I made the right choice..
I hope..