Author's note: I have this lovely little start of a story on my phone and it's been on there a while. But it takes place after a few other key events and I thought I'd try to go chronologically. So let me know what you think.

Happy reading!

Try Again

I watched Adrian for several minutes as he painted intricate detail. Rory, miraculously, sat still as her father painted her portrait. She was a beautiful girl. Rose all over, except in her eyes. Those belonged to her father, my husband.

I hated to disturb his art, but sometimes it was necessary. "Adrian, Rose just called. She's almost here."

He looked up at me a moment, still lost in his painting. "That time already?"

Rory stuck out her lower lip. "I'm not ready to go, Daddy."

"And I'm not ready to send you. But it's the nature of our life, baby." He swished his brush in the water and took off the old shirt he wore to cover his clothes.

"It's gets so quiet when you leave." I told her.

"I'm not too loud." She protested as she hugged me.

"Not anymore." Adrian ruffled her hair and kissed her forehead. "Go get your things."

She nodded and trotted off up the stairs.

"I miss her so much." He said softly.

"Me too. And it's never gotten any easier." I wrapped my arms around his waist. "We should try again."

"Are you sure?" His voice was full of concern, but tinged with just a bit of excitement.

"I am. We'll have the house to ourselves again."

He gently grabbed my face and pushed me away just enough to look into my eyes. "No pressure, sweetheart."

"Same to you." I brushed a kiss over his lips and then stepped away. "I'll help her pack."

"She doesn't have much."

"I know. I just want a few more minutes before she goes back to Rose and Dimitri." I took his hand and led him up the stairs.

Lorelei sat in the middle of her bed when we walked in. She looked up at us with tears in her eyes. "Daddy, can I please stay?"

"You have school, baby." He sat down beside her. "Don't you miss your friends? Mom and Papochka?"

She thought a moment and then nodded.

"I know you'll miss us, too. But we have to be like this. Do you know some of the other kids never see their moms and dads?"

She nodded.

"So you're super lucky."

I added, "And loved so much, Rory. By all of us."

"Nathan doesn't love me." She pointed out.

Adrian and I shared a look. He responded, "He doesn't love anyone, Lorelei. I don't even think he loves himself. And the thing that I hate the most is that you have to see him all the time without him liking you're even alive." He smoothed a hand over her hair. "But I am so happy you exist."

"Did you ever love Mom?"

"I've always liked her." He admitted. "I thought I was in love with her once. When we made you. But it wasn't really love. Mom always loved Papochka. And I was always destined to fall for Sydney. But I do love your mom. I love her for allowing me in your life. And I love her for how much she loves you."

"Do you love Papochka?" She asked anxiously.

Adrian chuckled. "I do. Even though I didn't like him much for a while."

"Because he stole Mom back?"

I snorted. This kid knew the whole story inside and out. "That's one way of putting it."

She looked to me and asked, "Do you love Mommy and Papochka?"

"I do. For all the same reasons as your dad." I gave her a smile. "And I love you, my sweet girl." I sat on the other side of the bed. "And I miss you terribly when you leave. But I know it's not forever. In a couple weekends, we'll see you again. And then again and again. And then when it's summer break, you'll get to stay for a whole month. I've already got vacation set up and Daddy and I are planning some great things for the three of us."

"But I still have so much school."

"You'll live." Adrian assured her. "Let's get you ready to go."

We finished gathering her things and gathered in the living room to watch TV until Rose arrived to bring her back to Court.

Lorelei ran to the door and threw it open as soon as she heard the car pull up outside. She ran out to Dimitri and jumped into his waiting arms. She spoke in a string of excited Russian as she told him about the weekend. As much as she hated leaving, she really had missed the other half of her family.

"YA skuchal po tebe, Papochka." She finally said.

"I ya skuchal po tebe, Sasha." He responded. He turned and lifted her onto his back and walked the rest of the way to the house where Adrian and I waited. Rose was just a few steps behind.

"Was she rotten as always?" Rose asked as we walked inside.

"Of course." Adrian said. "She takes after her mother."

"So funny, Adrian." She grinned. "Hi, Sydney. How's it going?"

"It's going. Somehow." I chuckled. "Have a seat?"

"We can't stay too long." Dimitri said. "Rose is on duty in a few hours. And I get to spend time alone with nasha devochka."

"Vy delayete?" She asked happily.

"Da!" He chuckled. "Ya tebya lyublyu."

"Ya tebya lyublyu." She kissed his cheek. She then jumped down and ran to Adrian. "Daddy, I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, baby." Adrian dropped to his knees. "Do well in school. Practice outside of your combat training. And have fun with your friends." He hugged her once more. "I love you. Give Sydney a hug."

The goodbyes were brief. We stood on the porch and waved as they left. Adrian leaned into me a moment and then walked into the house.

"Painting?" I asked.

"Yeah." He stepped into his studio and closed the door.

Mostly the depression was manageable, but it reared its head when Lorelei left. An hour or two in his studio and a call with Jill usually helped, but he still walked around in a fog for a couple days. At its worst, he didn't get out of bed for nearly a week. Would another baby make it any better? Or would it make it worse?

I lay in bed contemplating that for several hours, just on the brink of sleep, when Adrian finally joined me. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed his nose into my hair.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." I rolled into him and asked, "Do you think a baby will change it?"

"A baby changes everything, Sydney."

"But I mean, will it make you happy?" I combed my fingers through his hair and smoothed my hand over his arm.

As I kissed his palm he said, "You make me happy, Sydney. Rory makes me happy. A baby we make together will make me happy."

"I'm so scared. After last time…"

He silenced me with a kiss. "I never knew what it was like to experience the depression from the outside. And I'm so sorry. For all I can't help. For the hell you went through when you lost the baby. Yeah, I'll be happy if we have a baby. But I'll be happier knowing you're okay with it."

I kissed him and pushed him onto his back. "I'm okay." I smiled. "Let me show you how much."

I made love to him slowly. This was the first time in months I was completely present. I usually let him do all the work. Until now, I wasn't very confident in my love for myself. How could I have proven my love to him before feeling that way for myself?

We made love almost constantly from the moment I walked in the door every evening until the wee hours of the morning when we finally passed out from completely sated exhaustion. This went on for a couple weeks. It was a chore some nights, but we both knew that one of these times could be the time and we didn't want to waste an opportunity.

And then I was late.

There were no other early symptoms, so I didn't get my hopes up. The miscarriage was still so raw for both of us and Adrian was so hopeful for another child. I didn't even bring it up, my husband did.

One evening, Adrian came home from picking up takeout with an extra bag. He handed it to me with anxious eyes.

I opened it after giving him a puzzled look. "Pregnancy test?"

"It's been long enough, hasn't it?"

I nodded. Tears were in my eyes. My throat hurt and my nose burned. "What if I'm not?"

"Then we'll try again. But I doubt with as many times as we made love that you aren't."

I wrapped my arms around him and he held me against his chest and murmured in my ear how much he loved me, baby or no baby. I finally stepped back and wiped at my eyes.
"Give me a couple minutes then."

You don't realize just how slow time can go until you're waiting on a home pregnancy test. The timer on my phone ticked down the seconds longer than actual seconds, I was sure. When the chimes started going off, I jumped. I grabbed the stick off the counter with my eyes shut tight. I opened first one eye then the other. And I let out a triumphant, sobbing exclamation. I ran out of the bathroom and straight into Adrian's waiting arms. I cried and cried and cried.

"Is this good or bad?"

"Good. Very good." I showed him the pregnancy test. "We're having a baby."

My husband let out a triumphant shout and lifted me up and spun me around. As he lowered me to the floor, he kissed me deeply.

"I don't want to tell Rory yet. Just in case..."

He kissed me once more. "Whenever you're ready, we'll tell the world. You got that, Jill?"

I chuckled.

A moment later his phone went off and he smiled at the screen. "She says congratulations. She told Eddie, but they promise not to say anything to anyone else until we start telling people."

"Good. Tell her thank you. Now, let's go eat. I'm starving."

I walked on egg shells for several weeks. I was so scared I'd lose this baby like I'd lost the last. But the time passed with positive reports from my doctor as to the progress of the life growing inside me. As the third month started, I began to relax even more. And as we entered the fourth and had the prospect of finding out the baby's sex, I was sure it would be fine to tell Rory and the others.

After dinner the first night of Rory's summer stay, we decided it was time.

"Hey, Lorelei?" I said with a smile. "Want to see something cool?"

"What?" She asked anxiously,

"We have a special video we want to show you." Adrian said happily. "A kind of home video Sydney and I put together."

"Is it lame and you just think it's cool?"

"Pretty sure you'll like it." Adrian said as he led us all into the living room.

The doctor had provided us with a film of our ultrasound complete with heartbeat and positive confirmation of the sex of the baby.

Adrian pressed play and it came on.

"What is that?"

"That is your baby brother." I said, pulling her close to me. "What do you think?"

She looked between her father and me. "Baby brother?"

"Baby brother." Adrian confirmed. "Sydney is three-and-a-half months along."

"Oh boy!" Rory exclaimed and threw her arms around each of us in turn. "Does Aunt Jill know?"

"She found out when I did." Adrian told her.

"But no one else yet. Except my boss." I added. "So are you excited?"

She watched me critically a moment. "Are you excited, Mom?"

She rarely ever just called me Mom. It was usually when she was tired or really wanted to get my attention. I wiped at a tear and nodded. "Scared, but very excited."

"Then I'm happy for us." She hugged me again. "Will you paint a mural in his room, too, Daddy?"

"Oh, you bet I will." He kissed the side of her head and then watched the film. "I love you, Lorelei Aleksandra."

"I love you, Daddy." Rory leaned against him and pressed her face into his chest. "Can we paint?"

"Sure." Adrian stood and led her to his studio.

Translations (some are reminders from past stories):

Papochka = Daddy

(I) YA skuchal po tebe. = (And) I missed you.

nasha devochka = our baby girl

Vy delayete? = You do?

Ya tebya lyublyu = I love you