Chapter 4

The next half hour or so passed with ease as Roy's attention was either wrapped idly by his own wandering thoughts, or focused on calming down Edward. He seemed to have drifted into sleep a few times as he was curled up on the bed besides Roy, who had mindlessly continued to rub circles on the kid's back once he began to stir, fitful from whatever sick-induced dream he was having.

Edward would occasionally blink wearily back into consciousness and mumble under his breath, repeating that he did not want to die, that he was afraid, nonsensical apologies to his brother, and showing no indication that he was aware of the words that slipped past his dry lips. He was always shaking whenever he awoke like that, which thankfully eased slightly when Roy spoke up, telling him over again that he would be alright, consistently and without fail.

The longer Roy remained in that dark room with his young subordinate curled up in agony besides him, the stronger the ache in his chest became. Questions of how he could have stopped this from happening spun in a whirlwind of doubt, but no answers ever came to light. And if they had, it would have changed nothing.

There were too many unknowns to find answers within his own mind anyway. He had to keep telling himself that to keep still, fighting off the urge to jump up and find the solution he so badly craved. He couldn't- not now, when Edward needed him there. The kid would deny it fiercely, but there was no hiding the fact that at least some of the irrational fear that clung around the blond loosened as long as Roy stayed by his side.

That was all the gratification he needed.

Almost an hour had passed before there was a light knock at the door. Roy jolted at the sudden sound, having grown so used to the relative silence that passed between the two alchemists. At either his movement or the sound, Edward groaned and dig further into the bundle of sheets, unknowingly pressing further into the side of Roy's leg. His chest tightened uncomfortable at the prospect of getting up and potentially disturbing him, but he didn't have a choice in the matter. He decisively pulled away from Edward and slipped back onto his feet. Ed noticed the sudden lack of warmth and subconsciously shifted to make up for it, but he looked less content.

Roy rubbed at his eyes and attempted to straighten out his uniform as he approached the door and unlocked it for Hawkeye, who greeted him with a plastic bag filled with what he assumed to be medicine.

He felt some of the tension unwind at the sight of her; strong, confident- she knew exactly what she was doing. Meanwhile, Roy still felt like he was fumbling in the dark. He suspected the past hour only went by smoothly because Ed was so delirious.

"I'm glad you're here," Roy heard himself breath as his shoulders slackened.

"I bought some things to help with the pain and nausea," she announced as she walked past him, getting right down to business.

Roy closed the door behind her and followed as she approached the dorm's only small table. Both officers eyed the stacks of books that covered the cluttered surface warily. But without any other choice, Hawkeye placed a bottle of pills from the bag onto one of the hardcover books. She then looked over to the bundle that was Edward and pursed her lip in thought. "Has he been able to keep anything down?"

The colonel hesitated to answer, which attracted her critical gaze to fall on him before he willed out a response. "I haven't gotten him to try…"

"Roy." He tensed as she used his first name, knowing from experience that that hardly ever meant anything good. She sighed, her features easing slightly when he failed to come up with an excuse. "You'll have to try to get him to at least drink something. Hopefully this will help," Hawkeye said and pulled out a set of four bottles of ginger ale from the bag. The glass clinked against each other as she found a spot to put them down. "He needs to get something in his stomach."

"Yeah," Roy agreed lamely. He was not looking forward to fighting the kid on this again. He glanced at the child in question for a moment, dourly noticing how easily he drowned in the room and how small he looked when the bulking suit of armor wasn't by his side. And speaking of which… "Hawkeye," he began again, quickly snapping back into focus. "I need to speak to you about Alphonse."

"Have you found out where he is?" she asked quietly as the colonel guided her to the far end of the room from Edward.

"He's still in Cameron," Roy answered, unsurprised by the curious glance she gave him. "From what I could gather, he's completing the mission I assigned Fullmetal since he's sick. They were trying to keep it a secret." He paused with a sigh, combing over all of the nonsense that Edward rambled through earlier, trying to sort it into something that made sense. "While there, it seems like they got involved in something they shouldn't. Alphonse thinks someone had poisoned Edward to keep them from interfering. Whatever the case, I doubt it's life threatening. But it looks like Al has decided to take on this group himself, so I want you to send a team to deal with them and bring him back."

"Do you think he's in danger?" she asked in a hushed tone so the protective older brother could not hear if he happened to be listening.

"Judging on how Edward was taking it, I don't think so. But he should be here with his brother."

"I agree," the blonde said with a short nod as she cast Ed a quick glance. "I'll have him retrieved and back here by tomorrow."

"Good," Roy answered with a small smile, grateful to have one of his many worries be lifted from his shoulders. He could always count on Hawkeye.

The blonde turned and cast the sleeping teen one last look before looking back to Roy. "I should get going. There's already enough work that needs to be done with the deadline for that paperwork coming up."

Roy felt the impulse to say something to make her stay, but there was no excuse he could come up with that she wouldn't see through immediately. She had a job to do, and so did he. Although there were many times where he considered asking her to switch.

"Alright," he said instead and followed her to the door. "Wish me luck," he said almost sarcastically as she walked ahead and opened the door for herself.

"You won't need luck, sir," she said, making him wonder where the confidence came from, and wishing he had more for himself. "You'll know what to do." And without another word, she disappeared into the hall, leaving Roy with the sick child once again.

With a heavy sigh, he closed the door and moved back towards the center of the room, yawning as he reached the bedside. Edward seemed to be sleeping well enough. A nap certainly didn't seem like a bad idea, now that he thought about it. It seemed like trying to care for the kid had drained him fairly easily.

Maybe if he just... rested his eyes for a moment while he had the chance. As quietly as possible, Roy allowed himself to take a seat on the side of the bed besides Edward, ensuring he did not disturb him. He would deal with the medicine once the kid woke up. No need to interrupt the rest that he so dearly needed.

However, the colonel did not have to wait long. Only minutes past before Edward noticed his presence.

Edward shifted on the bed, a low grumble coming from the back of his throat as he struggled to become comfortable. Roy sat up straighter and watched the kid for a moment, torn on how to approach this.

"Ed?" he said more quietly than planned. "Are you awake?"

"No," he heard him breath as he pressed his face into a pillow.

"Hawkeye brought some things over for you. They'll make you feel better," Roy tried, unable to help how awkward he felt by trying to cajole the kid to cooperate. He usually used direct orders or pure charisma to make people do what he wanted. Whatever this was, it was far out of his comfort zone.

The promise of relief apparently made it through the tired fog that surrounded Edward. He slowly pushed himself up with an elbow and blinked wearily at the colonel for a moment, eyes squinting through the dimness. Roy took this as a good time to slip back onto his feet, open the bottle of pills and quickly fill a cup of water from the sink, deciding it would be safer to wait and see if he could manage this much before giving him something carbonated.

Edward glared at the offering disdainfully for a second before dropping back onto the bed and beginning to turn away.

"Hey- Ed, you need to swallow these. They'll make you feel better."

"Won't work," he said tersely. Roy paused, forced to reason through the few short words and assumed he meant he wouldn't be able to keep them down.

"You need to try… Hawkeye will probably kill me if you don't."

Ed made a faint sound with a quick exhale that would have been a scoff if he had the energy. Roy watched him for a moment as if expecting the kid to jump up and accept the medicine, but when that didn't happen, he withheld a sigh and knelt down alongside bed, propping his arms up on the mattress as he held the pills and the cup of water. Now on eye level, he stared at Ed until his golden eyes cracked open to glance at him, stubborn and obviously pained.

"You'll feel better," Roy said again, insistent, trying to somehow get through to him with sheer determination.

As they held contact, something hardened in Edward's eyes for a moment before he shied away with something else that resembled shame. In that moment, Roy realized that he had a faint, hopeful smile on his face, which slipped away the moment he was conscious of it. For a moment, he had forgotten his station. He had forgotten that he was Edward's superior officer, that he wasn't supposed to be here, and that Ed didn't even want him here in spite of what he needed. Ed was ashamed and embarrassed of what he let Roy see, and of the roll he was forced to play.

Edward glared at the sheets for a moment and took a deep breath. He then slowly and decisively pushed himself up into a hunched sitting position and swiped the pills without looking up at the colonel. Still appearing mildly dazed and unbalanced, he hesitantly took the cup of water as well, as if he was just then realizing that he had decided to do. He looked down at the glass with a flash of doubt and worry crossing his visage, then swallowed thickly, frozen by dread and uncertainty. Ed glanced at Roy, almost with a plea in his eyes, but looked away when he was met with that damn unintentional hope that was surely demeaning in some way.

With another quick breath, Edward threw the two pills into his mouth and took a gulp of water, quickly handing the glass back to Roy as he shut his eyes and swallowed, fists curled and shoulders tense as he put all his meager energy into simply breathing. Then a hand went up to his chest, fingers grabbing around the fabric of his shirt, brow furrowing. Roy could only watch with his breath held stubbornly in his lungs, unable to do anything to help.

Beats of silence passed until Roy began to wonder how long Ed would remain like that. But just as the thought crossed his mind, a small whimper came from the young alchemist as his lip pursed and a sharp shiver ran up his back. Roy found himself rising and grabbing a nearby wastebasket before situating himself on the edge of the bed without any thought put into the action, placing himself by Edward's side. As far as he knew, the kid did not register his movement, far too focused on keeping the water and medicine in his stomach to think of anything else.

"You're going to be alright," he reminded quietly, putting a hand on one of Edward's quivering shoulders. Roy didn't know if is actions were correct or if there was something better he could have been doing, but he liked to think that it helped somewhat. Ed did not respond, perhaps because he wasn't able to, or maybe simply because he didn't want to.

Ed's head lowered and dug his heels into the mattress as if he could push the pain away. When that didn't work, he made another small involuntary whine and shifted his arms to tightly hug himself. Roy decided not to move, despite how he yearned to do something more- to help more. But he feared that too much movement of any kind would risk further upsetting him.

Seconds passed by without words and Ed's breathing slowly began to steady and Roy allowed his hopes to rise. However, it was all in vain when his golden eyes shot open and his flesh hand rose to cover his mouth and his attention was abruptly drawn to the bathroom door, taking that split second to decide if he could make it in time. Before he could move however, Roy reached for the small plastic wastebasket that he had dragged over and held it up, which was swiftly taken from him.

Edward coughed and retched into the basket, arms wrapped around the outside and gripping desperately onto the rim. His hair tie had loosened earlier as he moved around, allowing strands to fall dangerously close to his face, but he was far too distracted to do anything about it. Roy, still with one hand on the kid's back, carefully moved his hair out of the way just as he broke into a coughing fit.

Roy heard himself whisper soft assurances to the boy, not entirely sure what he was saying but almost certain it didn't matter to Ed either way.

Edward returned to his heavy breathing, gasping into the basket, not yet bothering to rise his head. Still, Roy continued on with his meaningless litany while he drew circles into his back and mindlessly combed through Ed's hair with his fingers. Meanwhile, an irate voice in the far back of his mind was heedlessly insistent on reminding him that this was strange, and that this wasn't his place. But as his only consolation, the colonel told himself that Ed was likely too dazed and confused to remember that this strange moment had passed between them anyway. Besides, he would rather deal with the embarrassment that persisted when abandoning him was the only alternative.

Edward coughed again and spat into the bucket, rising from his slouch just slightly but still staring absently downward, seemingly unsure if he was done or not. Roy waited a moment, then when nothing happened, retrieved the cup of water he had left on the side table and offered it to Edward once more. He narrowly stared at it for a moment, internally weighing his options, then accepted the cup and took a generous sip that was quickly swished around and spat out into the bin.

The blond allowed his tired eyes to fall shut as he hung over the wastebasket after absently wiping at his chin, radiating an air of exhausted misery. Roy noticed with no small amount of concern that his lip quivered with every exhale and a wetness formed through his eyelashes, threatening to fall down his face.

For not the first time that evening, Roy was amazed at how tenaciously Edward suffered silently. He wanted so badly to appear strong, and even while not entirely coherent, still did all he could to keep Roy from seeing the full extent of it. Somehow, realizing that hurt more than he thought it had any right to.

"You're okay," Roy muttered absently, all too easily feeling Ed's back heave with every breath. Edward of course did not audibly respond. Instead, he minutely shook his head with another quite groan of pain escaping his ajar mouth. He didn't seem all too convinced, but didn't fight when Roy put a hand on the rim of the basket, testing to see if Ed would let him draw it away. He did, and so Roy left it on the floor to be cleaned out later. He might have gotten up to do it then, but his attention was quickly pulled away as Edward began to shuffle to lie back down. But before he could get there, discomfort slid onto his face and he stopped, turning slightly, struggling to find a position that was comfortable and wouldn't upset his sensitive stomach. He again made a discontent and surprisingly sad noise as he pushed himself back up, settling for sitting in a hunched position, holding himself up with his shaking arms, looking down.

"What's wrong?" Roy asked without thinking.

"I- I can't-" he paused and shifted his weight so he could wrap one arm around himself, as if it alone would be enough to ease the pain. He trailed off, but certainly didn't need to explain for the colonel to understand. Despite there being nothing left in his stomach, any which way he tried to lie down caused the fear that his gag reflex would jump into action again. Part of his tired irrational mind must have thought that he was trapped sitting up for the rest of the night; and just the prospect of it struck a sensitive cord. His mind wasn't working clearly, his emotions were in disarray, and Roy couldn't help but notice the pang of sympathy he felt for him.

With a soundless sigh, inwardly wondering if he would come to regret his decision, Roy pushed himself further onto the bed and sat against the headboard. Edward paid little attention to him, imbalanced and looking as if he was doing all he could just to keep from collapsing.

Committed to help in some way, Roy leaned towards him and put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention, which seemed to be ignored due to the fog that clouded the kid's mind.

"Edward," he began hesitantly. "You're tired, aren't you?"

It took him a moment to process the words and muster up a response. "Yeah, but I- if I lay down, I... I'll-" The sentence fell away when Roy gently pulled Ed closer to him. He wearily scrambled to keep himself upright at first, not expecting to feel gravity turn on him. But Roy kept a steady grip on him until he stopped struggling, pulling him over to his side and guiding him to lean on him. Edward complied, though clearly confused, too tired to resist.

"...What're you do'n?" Ed mumbled as he rubbed at his face. Judging on the tension in his muscles, he wasn't eager to use the colonel's side like a pillow, but the sheer exhaustion grew stronger with every passing second, sapping the lingering strength from him against his will.

"Don't worry about it," Roy answered vaguely as Ed began to give up and lean on him, eyes already fluttering to a close. If he couldn't get comfortable lying down, then at least this way he would be able to fall asleep. Roy would just have to move him after he was knocked out, which didn't seem like it would take long, he thought as Edward's breathing began to steady out already.

The kid was like a dead weight against him with his arms wrapped weakly around himself and a subtle warmth undulating from his skin.

Roy wasn't going to worry too much just yet. At least the kid was sleeping, although he wished he could have kept the water down in his system. Hopefully they'd have better luck when he woke up.

In the meantime, all he could do was wait it out once again. Roy leaned his head against the backboard, gazing lazily up at the dark ceiling and holding back a yawn as he failed to realize that his arm remained rested lightly around Edward's shoulders.

Roy woke abruptly as a piece of metal slammed into his chin, jolting him out of whatever dream he was having, it already long forgotten. Eyes wide and back straight as a rod, he urgently scanned the room until he noticed Edward had been laying in his lap, twisting and expression contorted in pain. He was mumbling almost incoherent warnings to some unseen enemy, telling them to get away. His automail arm had flailed in a blind attempt to fight back, surely leaving a bruise on his chin.

"Hey, Ed- it's okay," he urged as he scrambled to hold the hysterical kid's arms down before he got struck again.

Thankfully, it didn't take much to stir Edward from his disruptive slumber. The moment the colonel's voice reached his ears, his eyes flew open and he hastily broke out of Roy's grip to sit up, panting heavily and searching around the room in case the monster in his dream followed him out.

"Edward," Roy said sternly, returning his hands around his subordinate's arms to get his attention. Ed turned to look at him, eyes frantic and wild, not yet realizing what was happening. "You're fine, everything's fine. It was just a dream."

He just stared back at him for a moment, digesting the words and breathing to return the air to his lungs. "Where's Al?" he asked at last.

Roy purses his lip, mind churning through all the directions this could go. "Cameron," he answered simply, letting his arms drop to his sides as the initial alarm of the rude awakening wore off. "I sent a team to get him out."

Ed opened his mouth to ask another question, but stopped before the words could form, staring into nothing as his mind sorted through the answers that he already knew.

Roy exhaled slowly as he was distracted and looked around the room, noticing how much darker it had gotten. He quickly gave up on reading the nearest clock with no light to assist him, but they had clearly slept well into the middle of the night.

The colonel turned back to Ed, blinking wearily. But the blond was still sitting straight, shoulders tense and eyes still far too focused.

"I need to get to him," he said so quietly and quickly that Roy almost didn't register his intent until he started to get up.

Roy immediately knew that he wasn't thinking clearly. Whatever he was draming about, Ed had been shaken by it and didn't realize that no good would come from him doing anything besides resting. Abruptly, before the kid could get far, Roy reached forward and grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled back with just enough strength to guide him back towards him, muttering a quick "no you don't" as he did so.

"Stop, I- I need to-"

"You don't need to do anything besides sleep," Roy reminded sternly, but his words were ignored and Edward tried to shrug out of his grip, too tired to listen and too stubborn to give up. Roy bit his tongue before he could snap at the kid to knock it off, thinking better of it. Ed was probably not even aware that he wasn't still sleeping. Finally, Roy had more than enough of it and decisively reached out before Ed would scramble away again and wrapped both arms tightly around him even as he squirmed to resist.

"Quit trying to stop me," the kid murmured weakly. He tried to physically pull Roy's arms from around him, but in his state, he was not able to make much progress. "I need to get to him!"

"Alphonse is fine, Edward. He's probably on his way here right now. He'll be much happier if you're resting by the time he gets here," Roy tried to reason, vaguely aware that there was no point while the kid was like this.

"No- no, I-" The fight began to drain out of him, his struggling only growing more and more in vain against Roy's grip. Still sitting against the headboard, Roy continued his hold around the blond, but lightened slightly if only just to make him more comfortable. Ed eventually slumped against him, giving into the exhaustion that his illness helped to accelerate. "Al," he muttered under his breath between heavy breaths, managing to still cause a sharp pang of pity despite Roy knowing that they had nothing to worry about.

He never moved his hands back from trying to pry Roy's grip from around him, leaving him almost holding onto him without even realizing. With Edward now leaning against his arms, the colonel knew he would collapse like a rag doll if he let go. He supposed he didn't have much of a choice but to continuing holding him. Roy doubted he would get any sleep in his current position, and god knew he still needed some, but as long as the kid was able to rest, he supposed that's all that really mattered.