Destruction

Chapter 4- Solving Insecurities

She looked at me through the dark curtain of her hair. We just shuffled seats again in class, and Bella was moved to sit directly next to me in Biology. I stared back at her and she looked away, dropping her hair to fully cover the side of her face which was previously exposed to me. Earlier on, I had tensed up when Mr. Banner announced to the class that we will be shuffling seats and changing lab partners because the class' Biology average wasn't good enough. He believed that maybe if the teamwork improves, so will our grades. It was kind of ironic actually, he wanted our grades to improve yet he made the top two students in class partners- Bella and I.

Honestly, I had nothing against Isabella Swan, in fact, I liked her very much. She was real, humble, smart, soft-spoken and well-liked by all. But she's too good to be true. She immediately fit herself in my family, she was everywhere I looked, she was as smart as I was, she was good, and she didn't know the effect she had on people. No, I am not jealous of her. I just don't believe someone like her could be so perfect- she has to have a flaw. And okay, maybe I was a little bit jealous.

Alice no longer constantly begged for my attention, she no longer needed to dress me up, she didn't even try colour-coordinating my shirt to my shoes and/or eyes anymore. Emmett doesn't call me annoying names anymore, he usually gives his attention to Bella now, Rosalie doesn't glare at me so much anymore- she has someone else to glare at, Jasper hardly has enough time to talk to me and bond with me, he's always with her and Alice. But of course, I'm exagerating, nothing's changed much- I just don't want to be around them when she is. They all have a link to her, some sort of connection, and I don't. Oddly enough, I feel like the new one, I feel like the intruder when she's there.

It was never an issue within the five of us that I didn't have a serious girlfriend, and I never felt like the fifth wheel. I always had this confidence that it was all okay. However, ever since Bella arrived, she just looks so perfect with my family. Not because she was popular like them, or because she had a cocky attitude which made her think she fit n, she just perfectly fit. As if she was some long lost soul that finally belonged, and I realised, I never belonged that way with them. I just felt I did.

I don't even know Rosalie's middle name.

I just know it's some sort of plant. A flower, I think? Or am I thinking of her already first name? Rose was a flower, right?

This is my point.

Well... not entirely. My point was, I was bitter with the new girl, Bella Swan for fitting in perfectly with my family when I didn't. They always made me feel welcome, and frankly, I felt that way. But watching from a third person's point of view, it looked as though, I was delusional for thinking I deserved to be in that group when in fact I didn't know all of them well, and that Bella is more deserving. I hated her for that. But, as irritating as I may be, I am no git. I wasn't enough of an asshole to sabotage this girl, especially if she brought Alice and the rest so much joy. So instead of scheming- which is what I'd normally do- I planned on doing something different; actually getting to know the new girl.

"Are you alright?" The timid voice beside me pulled me out of my thoughts. Surprised that she had the nerve to speak with me, I didn't answer. "I'm sorry," she continued, "I didn't mean to disturb your careful thinking. Please ignore me, I'm starting to babble. I mean, I don't really want you to ignore me- but, wait, that sounded inappropriate, I'm not desperate for your attention either- No, I dont want you to think you're that important, but I'm not saying you aren't an-" I felt bad for her, so I cut her off.

"Bella, what would it take for you to go out after school with Edward Cullen?" I grinned at her, hoping she'd just shut the hell up.

"What? Like as in a date? Not that I'm hoping it is, not that I-"

"No, I just feel like, I should get to know you better, my family just adores you." I wanted to chuckle at her, but I didn't want to further torment her.

"Oh. Okay, but I have to take my car home first."

"I'll follow you to your house, then you can drop off your car, and we'll go have coffee together, okay? Meet you at the Parking Lot at 3:00 pm, directly after class?"

"No problem."

I walked Bella to her next class, enjoying the stares we received for some reason. I was just walking beside her though- not carrying her books, not holding her hands, not doing anything. Just walking, and yet the glares I received from the boys were menacing- I enjoyed being on the receiving end for once. I remembered those who shot me glares, I'd have some payback only The King could deliver (I'm referring to myself, by the way). The glares the girls were shooting Bella were lethal- if only looks could kill. And all she could do was walk quietly, avoiding the stares while I enjoyed them. We walked slowly, unlike those times I was with one of my hoes, I always rushed walking, I just couldn't risk having one of them babble. Needless to say, I enjoyed Bella's presence very much, she calmed me and brought me to some holy place where I just was just content (maybe this was the reason why my family loved her? No, it can't be this shallow. Anyway, I'm sure Emmett and Jasper don't feel this way around her, if they did, their girlfriends would have their balls for lunch.) It's like, she took me to Nirvana? Please, ask me to shut up. That was such a happy, gay, clappy, sappy, analogy.

When Bella left my side and entered her class I saw one of my teamates entering the same class, he shot me a weird look. Danny clapped my back, "Dude, this one's different. Anyway, gotta go, Romeo. You also have school, and stop the drool." He grinned.

"Shut it, Asia. (He was Taiwanese, in case you're wondering.) Your attempt at Poetry is an epic fail. See you later, alligator." Ha-ha, my poetry was loads better. We high-fived as I rushed to my class.

I sat with my family during lunch time, tired of pitying myself and going insecure over Bella Swan. They looked happy, but I can't be so sure. No one was talking and Jasper was eyeing me as if he wanted to fuck me. No, I'm joking; he was eyeing me as if he was waiting for me to say something- like they were all waiting for some holy explanation on why I'd been distant.

"So... do any of you have plans later after school?" I tried to break the ice, and it worked!

Then came their overlapping response, which I'm sure you can pinpoint which is whose.

"None, want to go shopping with me, Edward? It's been so long since I've done your wardrobe!"

"I'm attending Maria's college party at Seattle. Dude, you want to tag along?"

"Rosalie and I are attending a Car Show tonight, we'll be out until tomorrow. Interested to join?"

"Actually, I just wanted to make sure that none of you already made plans with Bella over here. I'm taking her out."

Alice's head snapped up, Jasper's apple froze mid-air, and Emmett and Rosalie continued staring at me, Bella blushed, "What?" I asked, peeved of their reactions. "I didn't want to ruin her plans last minute. I don't know if she said 'yes' out of politeness or genuine interest." I grinned at Bella, at that she blushed harder.

Alice immediately grinned and sat up straight, "Actually, Edward and Bella, I'm very sorry... After the Car Show which Emmett and Rosalie will attend, we're all attending a Killer's concert, so we'll be gone from Friday to Sunday. Please, don't change your plans- go on, have fun. Take care of each other while we're gone and, yeah... have fun!"

"You had The Killers concert tickets, and didn't think of inviting me or Bella?"

Jasper came to Alice's rescue this time, "Look man, you were avoiding us, so we weren't sure if you'd want to come with- and we didn't think buying you a ticket was the smartest option if you did say no, and as much as we would've loved Bella to join, we knew it would mak you feel bad secretly- if she went and you didn't."

"Oh yeah? You already have the tickets? Tell me the details of this magical concert."

"Secre. Don't want you to go there and make a scene." Despite Jasper's smoothness in delivering his reply, his eyes weren't calm. They were itchin to look somewhere else.

Like I said earlier, I wasn't a git. Emmett and Rosalie's eyes all widened in confusion and they all stared at Alice and Jasper. Alice stared back with a haughty look which made them all look down and murmur in agreement. I could tell Bella didn't buy one bit of it either. "Oh, that's too bad, Al. I've made plans with Jessica for the weekend, and I know Edward's got plans, too. Right?" Bella stared at me deeply, which made me just go, "Uhuh."

Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear. Alice piped out, "Jessica! I heard you have plans with Bella, but I need you to cancel those. Mike wants you to go on a date with him."

"I don't have plans with Bella, and I know... I am going to the Killer's concert with Mike..." Jessica stared at us in confusion and before walking away sent me a wink. Disgusting. Bella glared at Alice so hard, and I knew Alice felt it, she didn't look at Bella at all. I didn't dare speak out or go against Alice anymore. She's got so much power in this school, and can easily block everyone's plans just to make sure what she wanted cam through, and although I did too have power, I may be let off the hook- but Bella wont be. And, I am not a git, nor am I heartless.

The drive to Bella's house was completely as I expected, quiet and calm. I already knew where she lived, everyone did- her dad was the Chief.

"That was such an embarassing lunch." She muttered as soon as she entered my front seat. "I agree with you." I answered as I was backing out of her driveway.

"So where are we going tonight, Edward?"

"I'm taking you to Port Angeles, where there's this little cafe called 'The Old Spaghetti House' where we will have coffee and an early dinner. Then I will take you home. Safe enough?" I smiled.

"Perfect. So..." I looked at her, and then I really saw. She was more different from the others than I thought. She had on plain blue jeans, a worn out pair of black converse, and a gray hoodie, with a pink skeleton as the print. She wore her hair down, and had an old brown Jansport. She was simple, and yet, oddly enough, it made her look sort of pretty.

"Let's play ten questions, since Port Angeles wont take so long to reach. I'm not taking 'no' for an answer, and to ease things up, I'll go first. What's your full name?"

"Isabella Marie Swan. What's yours?" That was a pretty, classy name... "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. What's your favourite colour?"

"Green. And you have a classic name-" Oh, how in tuned our thoughts are, "and what's yours?"

"Blue. Do you know Classical music?" I was expecting some disgusted reaction and once again I was shocked by her, "Yes. I love Claire de Lune, Debussy." My grin enlarged and I quickly put my CD in, when she heard the familiar music, she smiled and closed her eyes. No more questions were asked for that car ride.

I stared at her as she relaxed in my front seat, and slowly started to realise why my family loved her so much.

But, that doesn't mean that I will adore her, too. She will have a flaw- every girl does.

We continued our casual interrogation at the restaurant, from colour- to music, to shopping- to books, to first crushes and view points on relationships. Her reaction when I inquired about her undeniable amount of admirers in school was hilarious; she hated it, she hated them all, and she shut me up, when she shot the same question to me, of course, she wouldnt believe that I hated it all- because I have a girl with me always. But she did believe that I wasn't serious with them- I don't know if that relieved me or bothered me. She jokingly added that she'd never date me, because I'd make her cry, and that also hit me- but I'm unsure whether I was bothered or not.

She told me about Renee leaving them because her mom was the adventurous one, and at Junior year, she just had to be with Charlie, finally realising that her mom will be alright with her new husband, Phil. She also mentioned that her dad is exactly like her, that's why although they don't seem close, they see eye to eye, she said she enjoys the peace and quiet she gets at home in Forks, but was overwhelmed by the Student body's reaction towards her.

I was shocked by that, didn't a girl as unique as her get loads of boyfriends in Phoenix? "I think that's why I didn't get a boyfriend, I'm unique." She said that with a frown. I told her that special was good, every girl in the world was just as superficial as the other, and she shut me up once more when she pointed out that Phoenix was filled with boys like me- who only go for the superficial ones.

"I do it, because I'm hoping one of them turns out to be the one for me, Bella. That's why I go through girls. Someday, I'll reach the right one, and when she comes, the game is over. Because, I believe when I'm with her- no other girl will matter. And right now in Forks, I haven't found her yet."

"Why don't you wait?"

"I'm afraid that that is what my girl is doing, she might also be waiting for me to go and sweep her off her feet. If she's waiting, and I'm waiting, nothing will happen, I can't be sure that she's finding me, and atleast, even if she is, then surely, we'll reach each other."

"That's a really sweet way to excuse you being a player, a douchebag and an asshole. No offense."

"None taken."

"Aren't you afraid that you'll fall in love with the wrong one? And you're girl will be stuck alone and with a wrong person too?"

"I believe in second chances. If I don't get it, then I'll stick with the girl I fell in love with, because I won't fall in love with a mistake anyway, something will make her right, at least."

"Then, you'll be depriving four people true love."

"I'm selfish."

"Jerk."

"Ooh, feisty."

And our conversation went on and on and on. I've never had a conversation that long and intelligent, with only one girl, without being in love or having sex with her. Not even with Rosalie and Alice. Bella was the first. Which shocked and scared me and at the same time made me happy- it proved to me that the mistake was with the girl, I was capable of something not physical, and I could still enjoy it, I enjoyed this.

I was signalling the waiter for the bill when Bella's phone rang, "Yes dad, no dad, having dinner, with Edward Cullen, okay, I will, love you too, bye."

"I guess I have to take you home now." I smiled at her and she grinned at me, "Yes, I have to be home before 8:30 pm, Edward."

"No problem."

"This is so unfair, I didn't get you to talk about your family, and all other things you got me to talk about." She whined.

"That's okay, we'll make room for 'Coffee and Dinner Part Two.'"

"I'll hold you to that."

I didn't know what to do with her when we reached her house, I've never done this, I always usually make out with the girl first or kiss her at her door, I don't think that's appropriate with Bella...

"So Bella, I had a nice dinner tonight, I really enjoyed talking to you- I haven't had a smart, decent, long conversation with a girl for a long time, and I'm glad I've finally understood why you bring so much joy to my family. I hope we get to be really close." I smiled at her, hoping that nothing in my speech would scare her off.

"Thank you, Edward. Me too." Then she pecked me on the cheek, got out of my car and went to her porch. Before she could storm into her door and panic over some shit on kissing me, I clicked the switch to make her side of the car window to go down and I hollered her name.

"Bella!"

"Y-yeah?" She slowly turned around.

"Have a nice night, okay? I'll see you tomorrow." Then I winked, just to ease her nerves. And frankly, to ease mine too.

The house was eerily quiet when I arrived. I figured everyone else was still out. Which is odd, considering it was a school night. Regardless, I was exhausted and went straight to my room. I almost pissed in my pants when I saw Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie sitting on my bed.

Alice broke the silence, "So... how was the date?"

AN! My most heartfelt apologies! My 'a few weeks' turned out to be a few months! I hope you still love this story as much as when I left it, because I sure as hell love writing it just as much. I haven't gotten your votes in yet, T or M? By the way, I'd really appreciate reviews, and as much as I adore reviews, I adore comments just as much- I don't plan on changing my original storyline anyway, just the quality of my work, so what you say will really matter! I apologise once more for the delay. Forgive me? Just like Charlie said, "Forgiveness is divine."