GAH! I'm so sorry it's taken sooooo long! This part is a bitch to write, so I decided to give you a shorter one (but I guess I forgot about the 'short' part...), just so nobody would come and beat me over the head with a brainbot or something.
And I think I forgot to mention that this is an AU, the movie never happens ;-)
Roxanne exited the invisible (but currently visible) car and stood by the side of the road, looking at a brick wall just like any other wall in this area; old, crumbly, tagged and grimy.
Minion had been heading around to open the door for her, like the gentlefish he was, but she'd been in too much of a rush to wait for him and jumped out before he even got out of the car. He'd still taken it in stride (of course) and closed the car door gently behind her.
The invisible car was, to say it lightly, amazing! It was the first time she'd ever been in it conscious and voluntarily, and inside it hadn't looked like anything she'd come to expect from the blue genius.
Apart from a few extra buttons and levers, an LCD-screen you obviously never saw in regular Hudsons, a gear-stick unlike any she'd ever seen in her life and the reinforced seat for Minion it was just like any other restored vintage car.
In other words; not the tricked out, crazy, pimped, over-the-top car one would expect from Megamind.
It was actually classy!
The dash was gleaming, polished ebony, not a scratch on it, with black leather and silver accents. The large display was surrounded by chrome, just like the original would have been.
(Roxanne knew vintage cars, her dad was crazy about them and when she was little she'd helped him restore a Hudson).
The steering wheel appeared mostly original, but there were a few extra levers on the left-hand side of the column, with no markings at all, and Megamind's insignia in the center. The front seats had been replaced with reinforced single seats to support Minion's heavy body and make room for a raised middle console, but everything kept with the style of the rest of the car. The back seats were either original or perfect replicas, and all the leather used for the door interior and roof was (of course) black and so was the wood and carpet.
Megamind has class. Who would have thought!
Sure, the outside didn't look like the original design, but he was a supervillain, so she guessed he had to do something flashy to keep up the image. And knowing him, the fins and spikes probably did something. A 'hidden in plain sight'-weapon perhaps.
All of his inventions were flashy and usually spiky, but after several years up close she knew he almost never put useless things into his designs. Every single spike, bolt, arm or fin served a purpose, no matter how ridiculous they looked.
She could hear the engine was either tuned up or brand new or... something, too. The sound it made was completely unique; a deep rumble she felt in her lungs coming together with a higher-pitched whooshing sound, unexpectedly harmonic. But Minion had denied her even the tiniest little peek under the hood! That had not helped her curiosity! Especially with that wary, semi-frightened look on Minion's face when she asked. She knew it had to be special when even he didn't tell her! Minion was always easy to sneak information out of.
They were in a run-down part of town, where every building seemed dead, the only exception being a small café three buildings down the street, but it was closed for the day. Too bad, Roxanne needed a coffee, but even the first bars had closed by now.
It had been late afternoon when she found the entrance to the lair and still light outside, but she'd spent so much time snooping around and then talking to Minion and getting up to date on his investigation, that by now it was almost two in the morning.
She sent a quiet thanks to whatever deity may be out there; at least it wasn't raining! But there was no moon and the clouds hung long in the sky now, contrasting with the warm day it had been earlier, making the streets darker than usual, especially when there were so few working street-lights.
So now Roxanne found herself swiping a flashlight over broken walls and crumbling sidewalks, looking for leads that was left four weeks ago.
Yeah, this was gonna be a piece of cake...
She looked around the area, hearing Minion clanking around in the background, and had a feeling of- familiarity? No that wasn't it. It- it was more like a missing piece in a jigsaw that she could see what was but not where belonged. Except she wasn't sure what it was either... But she was sure she hadn't been in this part of town in ages. Still, that coffee-shop seemed faintly familiar, somehow, and the area just felt important!
- This is it?
She looked back at Minion who nodded.
- Yes Miss Ritchie. I found the cube over there...
Minion pointed to the mouth of an alley where Roxanne could see a door with a single light-bulb barely illuminating anything, and next to it was an overflowing dumpster with additional trash-bags stacked up next to it. She could see why the cube hadn't been rehydrated that night; there was a clearly home-made wooden awning over the door that also covered the dumpster, keeping it dry.
- ...under that lean by the dumpster, near the wall. That's all I've found so far. Whoever took him must have been really careful to not leave anything else behind... I guess they didn't think a dehydrated trashcan was anything to worry about, but at least now we know where whatever it was went down.
- I'm not so sure about 'careful' as I am about 'lucky'. The light from the cube should have been pretty obvious, don't you think?
He blinked at that. Why hadn't he thought of that? It was so obvious now that Miss Ritchie mentioned it!
How could I be so stupid!
He had assumed whoever kidnapped Sir knew what they were doing, that they were pros hired by someone. He had executed his search based on that assumption too!
- But-
Roxanne continued
- whoever it was, was probably in a rush, and if the cube fell under the dumpster I guess it would have been pretty hard to spot.
She couldn't just say nothing when she saw the face Minion made at her comment about 'lucky' versus 'careful'. He'd looked like he personally was responsible for Megamind's vanishing act!
- And are you sure someone kidnapped him? He isn't just out- I don't know - roadtripping or something? Blowing off some steam if someone actually jumped him? I've seen him fight, it would take more than a few guys to take him down. I don't think anyone is that stupid... Or maybe he got detoured if he got another tip or something?
Her questions pulled Minion out of his own thoughts and back to the present.
- No... I- I mean, no, he wouldn't take off like that without telling me. Sir might be spontaneous, but not like that. He'd tell me, it's a safety-thing. He always tells me...
Minion looked around the deserted street, feeling completely lost.
Why didn't I go to her before? Barely two minutes and she already has a new take on what happened! I'm a horrible minion!
Roxanne nodded an 'okay', not sure what to say, and started walking around, shining a flashlight around on the ground, covering every nook and cranny but not really seeing, that feeling of familiarity still nagging her. Something about this place felt important and it killed her when she couldn't put the pieces together!
Suddenly her subconscious alerted her to something that seemed slightly off.
- Hey, come look at this.
Minion looked up from where he was shining a flashlight into the dumpster by the lean, hoping for more clues but not really believing. Miss Ritchie was standing a couple of feet outside the alley, about ten feet away from him, shining her light on a few pieces of what looked like thin, slightly curved glass.
Broken glass by an alley wasn't exactly unheard of, but this looked... out of place. She had no idea why, but Roxanne had learned long ago to trust her gut on seemingly insignificant details. More often than not they lead to a breakthrough.
Minion came over and looked down on the spot she was shining her light.
- Glass?
He looked at her quizzically, not really sure where she was going with this. It was just a few small pieces. There were plenty of other glass around here, so how come this had caught her attention? And it had been weeks since Sir disappeared, what were the chances something important had survived this long? He couldn't even remember it from the other times he'd been here.
- We should bring this, I think. You guys have a way to analyze it?
- Uh- yes, we have the-
Minion suddenly closed his jaws with a 'click' and looked like a deer in oncoming headlights.
Should he tell her? He wasn't sure how much he could divulge to the reporter. She had said everything was off the record, but did that stop her from going to the police? Or Metro Man?
- Don't worry, I won't.
- Huh? What- what 'won't'?
She gave him a knowing smile, crossing her arms and cocked her hip.
- I told you everything is off the record. That includes the police, and everyone else.
Minion could only gawk at her. Had she spontaneously developed mind-reading powers? How did she do that?
- Oh come on, you're the henchfish of the city's reigning supervillain and I just asked you about your equipment! It's not hard to extrapolate what you're thinking, Minion. Besides, you're almost as easy to read as Megamind.
She just had to give him a wink at that last bit. She found Minion had the cutest expression when he was befuddled! He just kept looking at her with his jaw hanging open.
- Seriously, though, I promise I won't tell anyone about any of your stuff or places or anything.
She was sincere now, and Minion knew it. She wanted him to trust her, he could see that. She needed him to trust her. And he needed her to trust him. They had to work together on this and they had to truly rely on each other. Sir's life could depended on it!
Could he do it?
Roxanne knew she didn't have any secret plans or evil inventions to hide, she just had to trust Minion wouldn't kidnap her again, and that wasn't very hard to do.
He on the other hand, had to trust her to not disclose anything she saw or was told to either the authorities, Metro Man, television or anywhere else. That was a much bigger leap of faith than what she had to do, and she hoped he could.
After a long silence Minion finally nodded. Roxanne had to give him a big smile, relieved Minion had deemed her trustworthy. He had taken so long she was worried he would say no.
Minion smiled back and after a silent agreement they went back to their task; going over the street with a fine-toothed comb.
Four weeks earlier:
(...- Good evening, gentlemen.)
Hah! Megamind had to concentrate not to laugh as the drug-dealer jumped and visibly gulped at the unexpected sound of his greeting. He would be the first to run if Megamind let him.
(He wouldn't let him).
The guy with the scar took half a step closer. Huh, impressive. Especially with that look of uncertainty on his face. Megamind could smell the fear coming from the humans.
- You're coming with us.
Scarface obviously tried to sound confident, but it came out like the feeble attempt it was. But at least now he knew who the leader of the gang was.
- What, you're not even gonna offer me a drink first? I don't go home with just anybody, you know. I have standards.
Megamind obviously looked him up and down before giving him an affronted look, feigning insult and holding his hand to his chest, fingers spread, like someone gravely insulted would do in the movies.
- You don't really have a choice. We're five and you're one. You don't even have the fish with you! You don't stand a chance!
Now one of the unknown ones, the one in the middle, took courage from Scarface and came closer, too.
- Oh, is that right?
Megamind flashed them all a too-sharp smile that made anyone considering approaching stop.
- From my position I count twelve ways to have you all flat on your backs in less than a minute. In less than half a minute, actually.
He lowered his voice to a wicked almost-growl, bending his head so that it was almost completely in shadow now. Then he looked up at them through his lashes, his pupils reflecting what little light there was, making his eyes almost glow and treated them all to his most wicked grin and added:
- Even more ways if I decide to have a little fun first.
He carefully emphasized the word 'fun' with both his voice and his face, hie brows going up the exact right amount at the word and his eyes opening all the way, making him look a bit manic, his eyes alone conveyed all the terrible things he could do to them.
Scarface took his hands out of his coat pockets, his right hand sporting a shiny set of brass knuckles, and took another step forward. His hands were clenching and unclenching, clearly nervous but wanting to appear tough in front of the others.
- Oh, so you're tough guy, hm?
Megamind couldn't help but taunt him a little. This guy was big and if he got a good hold of Megamind he could do some serious damage. Better stay away from those fists. Megamind might be stronger than humans compared pound by pound but against a guy at least three times his size they were very equally matched. The advantage maybe even leaning towards his opponent.
He had some room, they hadn't backed him right up against the wall, and an alley just a few feet down the street would give him even more room if he needed it. Right now he didn't want much, just a little more and a few feet away from the wall should be plenty.
He was ready to play.
Taking a sudden step forward he said:
- Boo!
And laughed out loud when all five jumped back from him.
- Hahah! And you think you're gonna take me down? That's a fucking joke!
Megamind snarled, took another quick step towards them, arms out and hands like claws, getting himself another step away from the wall, getting even more room to maneuver. They backed up again. Apparently they waited for an invitation.
- Well?
He held out his arms in a questioning yet inviting fashion, putting one foot in front of the other and giving them a formal bow, all the while keeping eye contact and that wicked smile on his face.
- Who's first?
He kept that position, confident and waiting, up until the first thug made his move.
Back in Evil Lair:
Roxanne and Minion had spent almost three hours going over that part of the street, and all they had to go on was that stupid cube, a tire-track that most likely had nothing to do with anything and some shards of glass. Minion hadn't understood why the few pieces of glass were important, but Miss Ritchie had said to bring them, so he had collected them in a little plastic jar.
Right now he was standing in a smallish room with black-painted brick walls, beside the large central control panel for the collider, full of blinking lights, a sheet of paper in his hand and his mind temporarily blank.
He leaned lightly on a shiny, stainless-steel tube of about a meter in diameter that was going out in each direction from the panel. There were large collars around the tube every few meters containing sensors and the powerful magnets. The tube ran in a big loop around Evil Lair and partially on the bottom of the lake where it was maintained by aquabots.
It was in essence the same as the particle accelerator at CERN located in Switzerland, just smaller. Sir had found it easier to build this one than an actual mass spectrometer. Those required so much fiddling and some really expensive, rather exotic materials, to get reliable readings, and they couldn't have any fun with it either, so Sir hadn't found it worth the trouble. A collider, on the other hand, would be much simpler, and way more fun.
They often played around to see what happened when different substances crashed at near-speed-of-light velocity. Some elements made really trippy and fascinating light-paths, even outside the collider and all around them in the air. Others would spiral out of control and went pinging off any metal surface before fizzling out while a few didn't even make a pop (boring!).
They had never heard about light-paths from Switzerland (neither in the news or any classified reports that Megamind received regularly thanks to a little program deep in the code of the internet), but of course Sir hadn't gone and made a normal collider.
Megamind used some of his free time to study the particles and in 2002 he'd discovered evidence of the Higgs boson. Humans had kept arguing the existence of it for years to come, but Megamind hadn't seen the point in telling them which side was right. They never gave him a chance, so why should he give them anything?
A few elements were, however, now banned after causing a blast upon collision. They had discovered colliding the same material was relatively safe, usually just making a light-show, but mixing them- well, that often brought some unexpected side-effects.
Aluminum versus tellurium had blown a hole in the side of the tube, a minor annoyance and easily fixed (they'd done it again, timing the explosion to scare some brainbots just for laughs. That lot had been snippy the rest of that week, and one had completely destroyed Sir's baby-seal leather boots).
Thorium versus cobalt had blown a hole in not just the collider tube, but the wall of Evil Lair too, taken out sixteen brainbots, ruined Minion's newest (not even finished) suit, turned the singed edges blue and almost killed Megamind.
Megamind had liked the blue color of the discharge, though, and started getting ideas of how to use it against Metro Man. Minion had to work hard to convince him that trying it again, even on a smaller scale for research, was probably a Very Bad Idea.
In short; the collider was useful and fun (and potentially dangerous if Megamind got to play with it by himself. But then again, a glass of water could be dangerous in Megamind's hands.).
But right now Minion couldn't focus on the fun times he'd had with Sir.
The sensors that monitored the collisions also picked up the component parts on a sub-atomic level, giving them the same results as a mass spectrometer analysis would (actually even more detailed and in half the time).
Now that he was looking at the results all he could focus on was suppressing an ice-cold dread that had started crawling it's way through his body like arctic fingers, and he felt that old, all-consuming hate flare to life.
He was so glad they had brought that glass. He'd seen those readings before. It was almost the same result as one of Sir's own sedatives and looked like the exact same as the original sample.
They rarely used it, but sometimes when Sir was hurt bad enough yet had managed to escape Metro Man (or Minion had hauled him off before the hero could get a hold of him) he'd tell Minion he 'wanted to sleep', since he rarely managed to fall asleep on his own if he was hurting too much.
His body could usually fix itself, but it always took longer if Sir didn't get any sleep. Sir carefully avoided using the word 'needle' or anything resembling it. He hated the little things, but accepted them when there was no alternative, and he'd used several days to invent a needle so thin he barely even felt it but that could still carry the fluid. That didn't mean Minion didn't have to hold him down from time to time, though... He hated when he had to do that to Sir!
He knew how Sir had gotten the original formula that he tweaked, too, and it wasn't a cheery story.
He can't be back. He's supposed to be dead!
Minion had been sure that monster was dead! From what little Sir had told him there should be nobody left! But this put everything Minion thought he knew in doubt and he wondered who else from the past may pop up.
He heard a rustle and almost jumped out of his bowl, being lost in his own memories and thinking it was yet another ghost from the past sneaking up on him. He turned his robotic body around and then had to turn his fishy self around again too, since he'd done both the first time and ended up facing the wrong way.
- Oh, it's just you!
It was just Miss Ritchie coming into the room with a mug of fresh steaming coffee in her hand with the print "Trust me, I'm an engineer, let's just assume I'm never wrong".
- Um... who did you think it was?
- Oh, heh, no- no-one.
He gave her a half-hearted smile.
Brainbot #486, the one with the pink markings, was trailing along after her again. It had apparently taken a shine to Miss Ritchie after she had tossed it that wrench. Then the mug she had in her hands caught Minion's attention.
I gave that mug to Sir last Christmas...
Minion always got him a mug, this year it just said "Super-villain at work". Simple, but it was getting harder to find one he didn't already have. It couldn't just be anything, it had to make a point, and be funny and/or appropriately evil, and Sir was getting quite the collection by now, his favorite being the one that said 'One lab accident away from becoming a supervillain'. Sir was leaving them all over Evil Lair and it was up to Minion to find them again.
Minion knew, of course, that Sir appreciated the gifts, and it wasn't like he didn't care about the mugs, he just got carried away when a new idea suddenly popped into his giant blue head and he forgot about everything else.
Once he had found a mug inside the dome of a brainbot that had needed it's circuitry replaced!
And Sir was always happy when Minion brought back a mug he'd been missing, so he didn't mind. It was his job to take care of Sir! And looking for the mugs had become a sort of game, seeing what kind of strange place Sir would leave his mug next.
Minion wasn't entirely sure how he felt about Miss Ritchie using the mug.
Stop that, that's stupid, she's here helping and it's just a mug!
Sir's mug. His missing Sir's mug that- stop it!
- What's that?
She indicated the sheet of paper in Minion's hand with Sir's- her mug and took a sip, leaning against the door-frame so much like how Sir used to do that Minion had to physically shake himself.
- Oh, um... It's- it's the result from that glass you found. How'd you know it was important? There were loads of glass all around in that street!
- I don't know. It just felt like it was. It's worked lots of times before and helped me get some great stories. Remember that ring of pedophiles a few years ago?
Minion simply nodded.
- I got that one because of some chewing-gum wrapper.
Minion's eyes widened and he stared at her.
- From bubblegum-wrapper?
He was astonished.
- Mhm...
She looked at him over the rim of Sir's- (her mug, dammit!), humming her confirmation.
- So what's it say?
Minion looked up, almost surprised again that she was there. He'd been lost in his own thoughts again.
- Oh! Yeah, it's a solid lead, I know who might have him, but there's no guarantee. And I really hope I'm wrong...
He muttered that last part, almost to himself as his gaze fell back to the paper in his hand, but she heard him anyway.
- What? Why? Isn't it better to know who's got him? Then we can try to anticipate them, figure out where he might be!
Minion looked at her with- fear?
What's going on?
- Minion, seriously, what do you mean? Why would you wish to be wrong about this?
- Because, if I'm right he might already be dead.
He whispered the last part, then looked up at her with a strange expression of pure fear mixed with misery, all wrapped up in a sort of 'kicked-puppy' kind of face, fiddling with the paper and shuffling his feet.
He wasn't sure he could make her see the gravity of the situation without explaining, and he really didn't want to rip open those memories. But he soon saw he shouldn't have worried about that. This was Miss Ritchie. She understood immediately.
- Oh my god...
A hand went to her mouth and she almost dropped her coffee. Roxanne felt her stomach turn into a solid rock from the three pounds of loose pebbles she'd had before and she wanted Minion to say he was joking. That all this was just an elaborate prank and then Megamind would jump out at her, yelling "got you", "April fools" or something. She didn't even think she'd be mad at him! Not at first anyway, later she'd probably be furious and would want to strangle him! But the look on Minion's face told her nobody would come jumping out at her from anywhere.
He was dead serious and it scared the hell out of her!
- Minion, please tell me you're kidding...
She had to ask, even when she knew he wasn't. There was always a microscopic chance.
Minion gave her a glare and for the first time Roxanne was actually a bit scared of Minion, because that glare could burn through stone.
- Miss Ritchie, I would never joke about this. If Doc has had him all this time... I almost hope he's dead. I can't let him go through that again! Last time Doc got his claws in Sir- he-
He couldn't even say it. The fear, the anger he'd felt when he finally got his Sir back last time...
They had been seventeen when Sir disappeared from the exercise yard and after spending a month convincing the Warden that Megamind hadn't just escaped and forgotten to bring Minion, they had fought for over a year to get him back, and when they finally did... That was the one and only time Minion had seen the Warden cry.
Minion had genuinely hated the entire human species for months after. Sometimes he still did; if something triggered the memories, like now, he'd feel that ice cold hate returning and for a few moments he wanted the species extinct, with only two exceptions, before Sir would notice and distract him.
Thankfully Miss Ritchie seemed to get the point.
He shook himself and sighed and wished fish could cry.
- Let's just say it was really bad and he was lucky to live. If it wasn't for the Warden... I- Please, I really don't want to- Look, can we just get back to work?
He looked so miserable Roxanne couldn't help but hug his huge mechanical gorilla body, twisting her hands in the fake fur and hearing how the inner workings of the suit swooshed and whirred and clinked, just offering silent her support to the distressed alien fish. She didn't say anything, but she thought Minion understood.
She also understood that he badly needed a distraction. They had been at this for hours. She let go of his suit and looked up at him.
- Minion, how about some food?
He blinked down at her, completely caught off guard by the question.
- Are you hungry, Miss Ritchie? I could whip up something real fast, or-
He stopped when he saw her shaking her head in a 'that's-not-what-I-mean kind of way. He knew what she was doing, he just didn't want her to do it. He wanted to keep working and find Sir!
-I could... order something?
Minion made a disgusted face at that. He really didn't care for take-out. Everything tasted bland and any nutrients were boiled out of it and then some. He could make any take-out meal in his own kitchen cheaper and better tasting than any restaurant. Now he was just trying to get Miss Ritchie distracted so he could get back to work.
- Minion...
She gave him a look that said very clearly 'I know what you're doing'.
- We've been at this for hours. And when was the last time you ate? Or slept?
Minion refused to meet her eyes and mumbled something about 'last night'.
- Which 'last nigh'? The last night when I found the lair or the last night you actually went to sleep?
Roxanne thought she heard 'Wednesday'. Today was Friday... She smiled up at him, a tired but encouraging smile, and lead the way out of the Collider control room.
-Come on. We both need some food. And then we'll get some sleep. Ah-ah! No, you don't get to argue about this.
She rounded on him and pointed her finger into Minion's chest, looking at him in a demanding way.
- You've been up for what I suspect is days and you need rest! You're no good for either Megamind or me, running on fumes or zonking out in the middle of something!
Miss Ritchie looking at him like that was almost as bad as Sir, and Minion found himself following her out to the living-portion of Evil Lair. He knew she was right, but he felt like he was failing Sir if he didn't keep going, no matter how tired or hungry he got. Eating or sleeping felt like a waste of time!
- Here you go, Miss Ritchie, I hope you like it.
Minion smiled and put down a plate of wonderful-smelling pasta with mushrooms, ham, truffles and a generous sprinkle of Parmesan, everything topped with finely chopped parsley. Miss Ritchie was sitting on the outside of the kitchen bar-island so Minion would have room to move about. He never let Sir into the kitchen after the salsa-incident, so Minion was used to not having other beings in his domain.
He turned around and went back to the fridge to get himself a piece of raw chicken and some iced tea (actually iced, it came in small cubes kept in a tiny freezer atop the fridge). Roxanne had turned down the offer and opted for warm tea instead since the lair was pretty chilly in her opinion.
- Oh my god, Minion, this is wonderful!
Minion smiled at the compliment and was intending to go back to work after his chicken-and-iced-tea snack, but then he got distracted by the way Miss Ritchie was wolfing down her late dinner (breakfast? It was getting light outside again).
- Hungry, huh?
Roxanne froze at his comment and looked up, slowly, until she met his eyes, her right hand still holding her fork halfway to her mouth. He didn't make a sound but his eyes were laughing. She hadn't realized just how hungry she was before she started eating. The last solid meal she'd had was that toast for lunch before she ditched Hal after her last report on Friday. Now it was almost Saturday morning!
- Uh... Heh, yeah, I guess...
She gave him a embarrassed smile and put her fork back down on the plate.
- Sorry, Minion. That was rude of me. It really is delicious, I guess I didn't know how hungry I was.
- It's okay, Miss Ritchie, I don't mind. Sorry I stared.
- Really, when are you going to start calling me Roxanne?
Minion suddenly looked slightly uncomfortable and looked down at his feet.
- Oh, well, if- if you don't mind, I'd really prefer 'Miss Ritchie'. It's- just a- I don't-
He didn't like having to deny anyone anything, especially not Miss Ritchie, but it just felt so...impolite.
- Or just stick to 'Miss Ritchie' if you rather want that. It's not that I mind, it just seems a bit, you know, formal, between friends.
- Sorry... Roxanne...
Minion had to try but made a weird face when he called her by her first name. It just felt wrong. He shook his body.
- That felt strange... I'd rather stick with Miss Ritchie, if you don't mind...
Minion looked like a puppy begging for treats, and Roxanne couldn't help but laugh at the situation. Here she was, eating home-made truffle-pasta in the lair of two villains at five in the morning, helping to find the city's missing supervillain, worrying about the alien who kidnapped her several times a month! And now they were discussing the proper way to address her, the henchfish being the one preferring the more respectful variant! When, exactly, had her life become this crazy?
- Don't worry about it, you can call me whatever you want.
Roxanne gave him a smile and started saying something more, but never got that far. A huge yawn interrupted her and she suddenly felt how utterly exhausted she was.
- Oh! I'll find you somewhere to sleep, Miss Ritchie!
Minion's suit jumped and started walking out of the kitchen.
- Or would you rather I take you home?
Minion wasn't sure where she could sleep if she stayed in Evil Lair. There was only one bed in Evil Lair and that was Sir's bed. Minion didn't feel comfortable letting her sleep in that, but where else could she stay? They didn't exactly have a guest bedroom; they never had guests! He should probably take her home, she'd be more comfortable there anyway.
- Oh, no, I'll just crash here. Didn't I see a couch here somewhere?
The sofa? She prefers the sofa over me taking her home? Huh...
- Besides, it's only for a few hours and it'll save us time. And I need to make sure you get some sleep, too.
She looked around absently, as if the couch was in the kitchen they were currently occupying, Minion having stopped in the doorway.
She didn't notice Minion's face at her comment about her watching out for him.
After four hours of sleep (with Minion out of his gorilla-suit to make sure he actually got some too and didn't sneak away to keep working after she was asleep) Roxanne discovered that breakfast at the lair was apparently a very efficient affair, thanks to Minions mastery of his kitchen.
Because it was his kitchen, no doubt about it. It was fascinating to watch him swirl around to get everything he needed and how efficient he was. He even used his feet to get stuff from below the counter!
She looked around and admired the room while Minion cooked. She had been too tired to notice last night- well, more like 'this morning', really, but the space was beautiful.
The kitchen was smaller than she expected, in a huge warehouse with plenty of space, but it appeared Minion had it just as he wanted it. He was probably the one who designed it, after all.
It had been built into one of the smaller rooms just off the main hub (Minion called it 'the work room', but she'd gotten used to 'main hub'. That's what it looked like!) and it was just a little bit larger than her own at the apartment.
White-tiled floors, a slate-grey counter-top with mostly open shelves above and a single row of cupboards along the floor. The doors appeared black, but after a while Roxanne realized they were the same dark wood as the interior details of the invisible car!
The tiles on the walls were a beautiful sea-green that accented the counter-top perfectly and there were recessed lights in all the shelves and cupboards (including those without glass), so even with all the black it didn't seem dark, just sophisticated. The polished surfaces also helped to reflect the light and brighten up the space.
The oven looked like a state-of-the-art professional gas burner with brushed steel surfaces and Roxanne was surprised it appeared to be original, no apparent 'tweaking' by Megamind at all (not even a single spike). She didn't see any other freezer except the small one inside the fridge and the fridge placed in the corner was well-stocked.
It wasn't until Minion opened one of the cupboards under the counter that she saw signs of Megamind's influence on the kitchen. There were some chemistry-beakers and a bottle of a strange blue powder Roxanne doubted was healthy to eat. Other than that the room was all Minion.
In no time he had her breakfast ready. It was made up of fresh, brainbot-pressed orange juice, pancakes with syrup, topped with fresh blackberries, raspberries and currants and a strawberry-lime smoothie as 'desert'.
And of course lots of coffee.
By the time she was done it was almost ten in the morning and time to get back to work.
Work...
- Oh shit, I have to make a call, I'll be right back, Minion!
She got up from her swiveling bar-chair and walked out of the kitchen and into the main hub. She was off today since it was Saturday, but she was supposed to come in tomorrow to do the Sunday special. It was still early but she wanted to give her boss a heads up as early as possible.
Minion busied himself with clearing the dishes (which took about three seconds, the time it took to order one of the kitchen-bots to do it, properly this time, please!). Afterwards he tried to appear as if he wasn't there while Miss Ritchie was finishing her call.
He didn't intend to listen, it just kind of... happened.
- ...ey Benny, it's me. I just wanted to let you know I'm taking a week of my PTO, starting tomorrow. It might take longer but I'll let you know if it does. It's a family emergency.
Minion started and gave her a Look at that, even if she couldn't see it.
Family emergency?
His attention turned back to Miss Ritchie's obviously annoyed tone.
- Yeah, I know that, but just let Jill take it, she can handle it. Hal will make it- What? No, this can't wait! I- yeah, well, I'm sure you'll make it work, this isn't up for discussion, I just called to let you know, I'm using my PTO! I have a right to them and you just check and see when the last time I took a vacation day. Yeah, that's right. You- WHAT?!
She was yelling now, walking in circles in her socks on the bare concrete floor, right by the red curtain, and Minion was very happy that her red-hot anger wasn't directed at him.
Angry Miss Ritchie was deeply unsettling!
- Yeah well, screw you, Benny.
Then she hung up and growled. It was at times like this she really missed the old phones where she could slam the speaker down properly. It just wasn't possible to hang up on someone rudely with cellphones! She stuffed her phone harshly into her pocket instead and huffed.
- Miss Ritchie… what did you just do?
He looked so pensive and spoke so quietly Roxanne almost didn't hear Minion in her anger at her jackass boss.
After a few seconds she sighed and looked behind her at Minion, still standing in the kitchen doorway.
- I just took a week off so we can find Megamind. And possibly I might have signed my resignation in the process.
The fish looked at her in shock.
- You- you just said 'family emergency'. Miss Ritchie, I-
He looked at her like she had suddenly turned a certain shade of blue. He was sure he'd misunderstood. There were probably rules on when she could use the PTO-days. It probably only applied to close family and she had to lie to get them. But that meant she'd have fewer days if she got an actual family emergency!
- Minion, have you been eavesdropping?
She drew out the 'o' in his name, her tone teasing, not scolding. She just had to ask, and oh god was Minion's face worth it! She remembered to give him a smile that clearly said she was joking, but it didn't appear he caught it or her tone.
- Miss Ritchie! I promise- I didn't- I-I-I didn't mean to- I- never-
He turned a dark green, his eyes huge as he frantically tried to explain and apologize all at once and fell over his own words, his hands making soothing motions to ward off an exploding Miss Ritchie.
- Oh god, I'm sorry Minion, I know you didn't do it on purpose.
She suppressed a laugh and tried to assure him she was, in fact, joking.
- You may be my kidnappers but I've realized I've been thinking of you as my friends too, for a long time. And friends joke with each other, okay?
She came over to him and put her free hand on a faux fur robotic gorilla arm. He was still breathing hard (she thought, it was hard to tell through the glass) and looked a little extra green.
- It's certainly the strangest, most fucked up friendship I've ever encountered, with the kidnappings and deathtraps and stuff, but still... We are friends. Taking time off to help is the least I can do.
Minion didn't quite know what to say to that. Friends. They were friends! They had a human friend! And that friend was Miss Ritchie of all people! And she had just risked her job to help him look for Sir! He couldn't not hug her now, so he swept her up in his arms and squeezed until she rather frantically knocked on his glass to make him let her breathe again.
Four weeks earlier:
Surprisingly it wasn't Scarface who moved first after Megamind's confident challenge, but one of the two he hadn't met before, the one next to Scarface. He came at Megamind fast but obviously inexperienced, something small and shiny in his left hand.
Megamind recognized it as a knife and subconsciously moved fluidly into position in an instant.
He wasn't sure what Leftie though he'd accomplish with something looking like a pocket-knife, but he nimbly sidestepped anyway, while grabbing the knife-hand with his right, spinning to increase momentum, his cape fanning out behind him, and bringing his left elbow down hard on the neck of his 'opponent'.
Megamind sent Leftie flying forward and crashing to the wet ground in a crumbled heap, staying there, the knife (a pitiful excuse of a knife) now in Megamind's hand. It was over in less than two seconds.
Evil heavens, it really is a pocketknife!
Megamind looked down at the "knife" in his hand with disgust, at the red casing with the little insignia of the Swiss Armed Forces on one side, looking worn and scuffed. The blade itself was scratched and showed the evidence of being sharpened in a less-that-professional way many times.
Leathcheann! It's not even sharp!
He looked up at the four left standing with an incredulous expression.
- Did he-
Megamind gestured to the crumbled Leftie on the asphalt in a very 'please-tell-me-you're-joking' kind of way.
- -just seriously come at me with a Swiss army knife?!
He almost roared the last part, looking around his present company, deeply offended.
No answer seemed forthcoming though.
- All right, anyone else?
Megamind derisively threw the little 'knife' away and it clattered into a drain. He straightened up, squaring his shoulders. Megamind was done waiting and now he wanted to get on with it. He was angry and sought to let out some steam. He wanted to punch something! He gave each thug a challenging glare.
Leathcheann means 'idiot' in irish.
And I have no idea how PTO-days work or how many you get, so let's just pretend this is how it works in Metro City (I almost wrote Metrocity...). If anyone have any suggestions as to how their investigation should go, or ideas for what they find/do/anything else, I'd love to hear about it, investigations are really not my thing!
And as before, I'll probably come back and change details since I'm picky ;-)