Author's Note: If you enjoyed the Kenzo and Azula's interactions last chapter, I hope you'll enjoy seeing a whole lot more of them.
The cell was lightly padded, that was an improvement from the old one. She'd made progress that surprised everyone, lately. Less tension in her fingers as she gripped the Pai Sho tiles too. That didn't stop her face from making those tight little facial twitches, brow furrowing hard enough to crush a properly placed nut. Her skin had looked better though, must be the stress reduction. Kenzo wanted to take most of the credit for that, but he decided to spare Zuko the embarrassment of having to admit he and Mai were right all along.
"You're over-thinking this, and you know it," Kenzo said to her, his voice syrupy sweet. It was the easiest way to rattle her cage without going too far. He knew the borderlines at this point.
"You're trying to distract me, and you know it, you louse," Azula shot back. Kenzo knew to take many grains of salt when it came to what she said in a competitive mood.
He smiled gently, knowing the effect it had on her. All he had to do was maintain it, that face that might pass as innocent contentment for anyone else. Azula could read it better than the average person, when she glanced up to flash him those amber knives of eyes. She'd catch the tease, and he knew she'd like it all the more deep down because there was nothing more therapeutic for her healing mind than a non-violent challenge. But the payoff wasn't there yet...
He could wait though. It would be a few minutes more before she decided just what to do about that last move he'd made. And he could stare at her face for far longer than he'd dare admit to anyone, including himself. He watched her cheeks intently, their creamy white a vast improvement from the deathly pallor of not long ago. He kept an eye to her finely crafted nose too, and did his best to keep off her lips. That was likely to be a sensory overload, and the treasure he sought wasn't going to be there anyway.
He drummed his fingers on the table, and ceased as soon as he was met with those almond shaped jewels. His gaze and contented facial expression never wavered.
"Have you been staring at me this entire time, Kenzo?" Azula asked, with a voice that had a foreboding presence all its own. It was little to no wonder how she got so many grown men to fall into line back in her wartime days. Luckily, Kenzo was just enough of an impudent boy not to flinch. That actually got him places with her, he found.
"Staring? No, no, never. Wouldn't dream of something so crude," he answered, as if he were a child denying he'd stolen from the cookie jar. Azula maintained perfect eye contact as she placed her tile down.
"Your move, Kenzo," she said, voice now more cajoling and deceptively smooth. He knew a natural when he heard one. He silently wondered how breaking this beautiful mind hadn't been listed as one of Ozai's crimes against the nation.
"Naturally, my dear. Though I must clarify something..." he trailed off, picking up his tile and placing it quickly in accordance with the rules of the particular gambit he was trying. "While I wasn't staring, I was admiring." He punctuated the statement with the same grin he gave his enemies when he knew he had them beat on the council floor.
And there it was, the tint of rose that flushed her cheeks was exactly what he'd been looking for. It was well worth whatever names she'd give him this time. As it would turn out, this time she merely chose to mutter something under her breath as she turned her head and cast a dirty look sideways. He thought might pass as less than "murderous" this time. Perhaps he could report that as an improvement to her doctors?
Azula picked up another tile and began plotting her next move on the board. This is what she needed most of all, challenges. Ways to keep her on her toes that didn't involve true pain and cruelty. And losing, she needed that too, just to learn how to deal with it. He'd heard Zuko's account of the last time she really lost, he didn't know if he could withstand seeing her in such a state. They'd grown too close.
Too close...that's what Zuko said he was afraid of. In Kenzo's opinion they were at a perfect level of familiarity together, in terms of what was good for her recovery. These were the only visits she never once protested, and the only ones she'd ever request additional time for. They were the only ones other than her uncle and brother that were not supervised by guards anymore. And they were such pleasant affairs for the both of them, filled with philosophical debates, battles of wits, games of Pai Sho, all the likes of which neither could really get from anyone else. Neither of them had ever had such an intellectual counterpart...aside from Lady Mai, perhaps. But Lady Mai was likely to brush off any such activity with a competitive edge, while the two of them indulged each other in ways they didn't think possible.
Azula broke him out of his musing with the crisp slap of a tile on the board. She gave him a smug look of confidence, obviously hoping to work her own well practiced methods of getting inside her opponent's head. He had to tap deep into his politician's toolbox not to reveal his secret happiness over her openly displaying such relatively normal reactions without even a hint of flame sparking in her hand anymore.
There were setbacks and risks to this arrangement, of course. She was certainly short on patience during a Pai Sho game, if things turned too badly for her too quickly. And she could snap with her nightmarish violence at any time. Or break down into crippling tears. It was all very difficult to watch what he said at every moment, being a man who preferred to say so much, so freely. But it was becoming easy now, more routine. Getting her to blush was down to a risk free formula, that helped.
Yes, they were perfect where they were. He was a new friend and a fresh start for Azula, practice with having a friend for her, really. And spending time with her was a stimulating exercise for Kenzo. A new friend for him too...a stimulating friend all around. Very stimulating...she was so incredibly fascinating and stimulating inside and out...
"Are you going to make a move or are you ready to surrender, Ken'?" Azula remarked impatiently, her arms crossed but her posture upright and dignified, all an attempt to assert her storied royal composure over a beaten opponent. Her smug arrogance aside, he was glad she'd taken him out of that train of thought.
Kenzo closed his eyes and cast her a tranquil nod of apology. He breathed in deep, then picked up the tile, leaning in and propping himself up on his elbows as he surveyed the board.
"Now how is it you've gotten so much better at this, 'Zula, when I know for a fact that the only other person you'd play with is your uncle, and no one gets any better playing with him. Just more frustrated." He spun the tile around between his fingers. "You haven't been sneaking in other boys to play with have you? Surely you aren't growing bored of me?"
"Oh, don't worry so much Kenzo," she replied with a drawn out purr at the end of his name, feigning that mock consoling voice of hers, like that of a mother comforting a child combined with a disarmingly flirtatious edge. "You're still my favorite Pai Sho partner." She reclined in her seat, face and posture still in alluringly smug control. "I sneak in those other, more handsome boys for my other games."
Kenzo spun the tile through each finger and back, slower this time. He was still contemplating his next move, in more ways than one.
"That is terrifically, exuberantly fantastic my dear. Please do keep them busy, I'm sure they're sore that I've kept the ladies of the court so occupied as of late," he bluffed, with a satisfied grin of his own. He placed the tile down, pleased with his counter in both metagames. Azula huffed insomuch as she'd allow another person to see, and began searching for a new move. Such exchanges inevitably brought him back there again, the place with the strangest set of feelings he'd ever encountered. It was ground he couldn't ever remember treading in his life, no matter how many girls he'd sent into fits of giggles at the many parties he'd frequented since prepubescence.
It was a place he had made it a point to avoid with Azula, up to now. It had already occurred to Kenzo once before that in spite of the "perfect" status of their "relationship", what he wanted might be deviating from what he should want. Such a new dynamic was problematic in so many ways, not the least of which was the overprotective brother, the political weak point he'd create for himself, the danger almost anyone who lived through the war would tell him he'd be crazy for inviting into his life...
The fear. The fear of the unknown was probably the worst, no matter how clichéd and simple that made him feel. Fear that he couldn't really save her, that she was too far gone, that he'd ruin everything through his affections, fear of...loving, and loving too much. For all his boldness, he'd never taken on something quite like the force that had ultimately ended the war that nearly rent the entire world apart at the seams. The beginnings of such notions were scary enough, but to feel them toward the most dangerous-and perhaps most hated-girl in history was nothing short of foolhardy, and he always made it a point to never be a fool. Then again, it might be just like him to do. It always had to be the hard way for him, there was no denying that. He couldn't stop himself from thinking about it. And that very same conflicted thinking, along with the emotions that fueled it, buzzed around in his head uncontrollably.
"You know, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world for you to heal up enough to go out there , and maybe find a nice boy to give affection to..."he trailed off, the statement making her pause stiffly before laying down her tile. They sat still for several moments. He continued with unusual apprehensiveness in his voice.
"Wouldn't be terrible for you to learn about emotions like that, maybe get used to them..." he trailed off again, hoping she wouldn't pick up on his sudden lack of confidence but knowing she was too skilled at reading people for that. She still hadn't moved; she remained hunched over as if frozen in the moment of putting down her tile. All that moved was the steady rise and fall of her chest, and a slight quiver around her mouth. And...he silently prayed to Agni that wasn't a glint of moisture coming out of her eyes. But it was too late, what came next couldn't be stopped from billowing out from within him, no matter how much his head throbbed with trepidation.
"After all..." he paused, trying desperately to bring reason to his next statement such that it wouldn't set her off. He finally settled on his choice of words, and spoke as if each exhalation of sound was a chore.
"...it's what separates your father, who led you and himself to a life of locked cells, from your brother and your old friend, and the Avatar's entire crew, who are now living lives with such joy..."
Azula jerked up from her stillness with fury in her eyes. The room became awash with blue light, now emanating from the azure flames she held in her hands. Her face scowled with what Kenzo thought had to be the most painful rage a human being could muster.
"You know nothing of the difference between us!" she screamed, lashing out her arm and sweeping the Pai Sho board off the table. It flew into the wall with a muffled thud upon the padding, their game smoldering into ruin.
"I know glory, I know high power! I know the greatest joys of strength while they know nothing but cowardice and weakness, clinging to each other like fools!" She flailed her arms about, firing at every angle but straight ahead at Kenzo. He sat there, immobile, unyielding in a stare even a calm Azula would not be able to read. His hands remained neatly rested upon his lap. Azula continued to assault everything she saw in the room save for what was actually there. Her shrieking voice became shrill and cracked.
"You! You're just like them! You think you know me better but you're wrong, you're wrong, you're all the same, the same thing, you're all so jealous, you think I'm a monster and a traitor and a madwoman and-" Azula ceased immediately. Kenzo had reached forward and clasped her hand with his own, firmly but not tightly holding it in his grasp. His gaze made eye contact and refused to break under her confused glare. Her other arm was cocked back, ready to strike but unable to, for reasons neither of them fully understood.
"I'm not afraid, Azula." Kenzo said as plainly as he could. "I'm not afraid. I'm not scared".
He gently pulled her down from across the table, never breaking his eye contact. Her eyes began to soften, her mouth began to quiver again. She slowly eased back into her seat, but Kenzo kept a hold of her hand from across the now ruined table. He leaned forward and grasped her hand with both of his own now.
"I'm not running. Not now, and not ever, until you actually prove you are beyond saving by actually firebending me into an eternal silence. Nothing less will do it," Kenzo said softly but with absolute conviction. Azula looked like she was being pulled from every limb by a different emotion, by anger as much as sadness, fear as much as guilt. Kenzo pressed on, not sure if he wanted to send her over the edge again but still not able to call upon the prudence stop himself the way he'd done with so many other, less critical situations. He drew their hands close to his face, resting his nose on them.
"I believe it will never happen that way. I know it. I cannot explain to you how, but I know that your future does not end in you succumbing to your darkness. Our future now, as friends," he paused upon saying the word, the first tears now trickling down her cheek, and the anger nearly gone from her expression, "it will be far greater, if you just trust in what I'm saying to you now. In what everyone who has ever really loved you has been saying to you now. Please...just trust that you are so much more than a great bender in the service of your father, Azula."
Upon him finishing her name, Azula could take no more. She began to sob as she did upon falling to her brother and that water tribe girl, with uncontrollable heaves and strained squeaks of true mental and emotional agony. Her head fell upon the table, her body unable to support herself with her sorrow.
Kenzo took their still clasped hands and tenderly kissed her knuckles, one by one. He did so slowly, with affection unseen in his usual flirtatious hand kissing with the noblewomen throughout the palace. With each kiss, Azula's sobs died down, until they flickered out with the final buss upon her pinkie. When he finished, Kenzo held her hand to his cheek and closed his eyes, trying to take in how it felt when he knew all too well he may never have a moment with her like this again. Then, with more clarity but a body still wracked with emotions too great for her muscles to overcome, she fell out of her chair and half crawled her way around the table to him. She climbed half into his still seated lap and leaned upon him, her free hand reaching up to softly stroke his other cheek. She leaned her head in and rested her it upon his forehead for what seemed like one of those an eternal moments he'd read about I in the great classic love stories, before pushing her hand free and sliding her arms around him for a proper hug. He returned the gesture, head now on her shoulder and leaning against her's as she leaned into him. Their breathing became easy now, and matched in a perfect unison he thought only couples of many years could produce.
He became keenly aware of everything in the room, and everything his memories of the past minutes could feed into his racing mind. The subdued lighting, the smell of padding blackened from her fits of rage from today and many months ago, the way his heart ached when he remembered the rage, the pain...the madness on that beautiful face. The way it beat stronger when he remembered what a vision it was minutes ago, when it was blessed with a smile full of the warmth he swore he could see to Zuko a thousand times since he first gave permission for these visits. But also the way it felt so calmly elated now, with her soft skin pressed up to his, her silky black hair wafting in a sweetly spicy scent into his nose, the strong curves of her back fitting his arms as though sanctioned by Agni.
And that's when he knew. That there was no avoiding or ending this game after all. It had chosen him and it would have him, just like so many participants before him who tried in vain to resist. And so, as would be no surprise to his closest friends, he decided there was nothing left to do but win the game.
They released, Azula now having the strength to stand again. She was subtly shaking. Kenzo stood and thanked her for the Pai Sho, and that he cherished their time together. That he looked forward to the next time, and he couldn't wait to see her smile again, because it was so very precious and special to him. He only succeeded in gaining a shy twitch of the lips, with a meek but uncommonly kind look in her eyes, an almost thankful gleam in her striking amber vision. It would be enough until next time, enough to get him through at least a few more frustrating council deadlocks.
He gave her a full, genuine smile and a shallow bow before turning to leave through the door. He knew she would not dare follow and try to escape at this point. She stood there, watching him, as he walked out with his head still turned back to her, half smiling until he slowly shut the locked door behind him. He wondered how long she'd stay standing like that. He hoped she'd sit before her legs just gave out from under her. Her pain, he now realized, was the most awful thing his prodigious mind could possibly conceive of.
And the only way to assure he would never let such a thing exist, any more than Agni absolutely demanded, was to win the game.
