A/N : Hey you amazing people! Really, you are! All the support you've given me so far, I can't begin to explain how much it means to me. You make it all so great. THANK YOU! (scatters hugs and cookies)
Please tell me what you think of this chapter? It took me kind of a long time to write..so I'm really curious as to what you think! Pleaase let me know? (hugs! cookies! everything you want!)
XO, as always
Merlin
Whenever he looked at the boy, he saw a veiled truth, a different reality to his own. He had never understood it, but Mordred seemed inhuman – his bright blue eyes and dark red lips of unnatural color. Yet there was something different to him this time : he had grown, he had been changed by a terrible anguish of such nature that it overruled the essense of who you were. Once you'd suffered through it, you would never be the same.
"I can help you," the voice continued. "I can make you better. My debt will be repaid."
He couldn't believe the words he spoke next, not until the meaning of what Mordred had said became clear to him. "No – no, no.. " Merlin shook his head enthusiastically, biting away the pain that hit with every movement. "I don't want your help."
A small smile appeared on the young boy's face, and it held so many emotions. Unearthly. Powerful. Calculated. "You have seen the future, Emrys." His eyes widened and the very look sent imaginary flames running over his arms and legs. He cried out, the sound almost loud enough to drown out the next words that entered his mind. "So have I."
-
Morgana
She watched through the glass window as Arthur rode off and swore she could sense his fear all the way up to where she stood. He might pretend to be brave and strong…or play unaffected by the events of the last few days, but Morgana knew he was shaken to the core. She didn't know what he'd do if he found Merlin injured; or worse.
She'd begged him to take her with him, but he had refused her. He'd always put her safety first, even when they were little. How she missed those days of games and laughter, in a time where it didn't even occur to them that one day they would face this kind of peril – lose these kind of friends.
There was a disturbance in the hallway, the voice of a desperate woman calling out and angry guards restraining her. Morgana swung her door open and walked to the men, knowing that no matter what the woman would be right – the guards in Camelot were quite useless, but they needed the charade to keep their enemies from discovering. Without Arthur's leadership, these men were lost. Without Arthur, all of them were.
"What's this?" It was only when she saw the woman's face that she understood her distress, and she lay a hand around her shoulders. "Hunith…come in."
-
"They…they won't let me see Arthur." Hunith had barely touched her tea, the apparent shadows under her eyes witnessing to the lack of several nights of sleep. "Merlin was supposed to come home a few days ago, and… Uther wouldn't know anything, so I just…" she shook her head. "I needed to talk to him."
"Arthur's away for a few days," Morgana told her. "He's gone to find Merlin."
Hunith closed her eyes, her worst fears confirmed. Morgana gripped her hand that lay on the tabletop and gently squeezed it. "Arthur will do anything to save him, you know that."
Tears ran down the mother's face, dangling on the bottom of her chin, ready to fall and crash to the floor, where they would shatter and remain. She nodded slowly, lifted a trembling hand to her brow where she pressed it against her flesh, hard and demanding. Her shoulders shook, and all the king's ward could do was close her arms around the woman, comfort a well that would never run dry if anything had happened. She whispered soothing words. Told her that Arthur would make it all okay.
He would.
Arthur
Sometimes he wished the world would stop its spinning. Wished that time would cease to matter in the place…or that it could be rewinded to a time where all was well. They'd live inside that moment like a comforting shell, keeping them safe and warm – happy.
Time was his enemy. Every second was an opportunity for harm to come to Merlin, and that was something he couldn't allow to happen. If he was too late, he'd never forgive himself. He was reminded of the time when he'd raced to recover to Morteus flower, and smiled when he foresaw a moment in their future... When he'd gotten Merlin out of harm's way, he'd sigh dramatically and gently nudge his friend.
"It seems I'm always saving you." That's what he'd say, and Merlin would have the decency to look embarrassed before smiling back at the prince. "I'm always running around for you. It was about time you did something."
-
Nightfall, and he could not afford sleep. The stars were shining brightly above him and he marveled at their beauty as he rested his weary body for a few precious minutes. He lay in the soft grass, his horse grazing nearby… and recalled every second of the moment they had last seen each other.
"Good to know I'll be missed." A sharp sting appeared behind his eyes and he shot up from the ground. There was no time to feel this way – he needed a clear head to face the troubles. He would not cry tonight.
Merlin
They were back again, taunting him through their half-lidded eyes, near barbarians yet more powerful than he was. He tried again and again – and they laughed at his attempts, they threw bones at his feet. "Nibble on that, would you, puppy?"
-
"Why are you letting them do this to you?" He turned his face to where the voice had come from, because this time it was not the ice cold haunting voice of his … whatever Mordred was… but a more familiar voice. One he'd heard nearly every second of the day before he'd left to visit his mother on her birthday.
Arthur sat beside him, leaning back against the cold stone wall and of course he knew it was not real, he couldn't help but grasp at any ammount of familiarity, imaginary or otherwise. "I've tried. They're stronger than I am."
The prince rolled his eyes, kicking at the bone that lay in front of his feet. It bounced against the wall with a loud clank, and Merlin followed its path with interest. His fingers, dirty with dried up blood, grasped at the object and he dug his nails into the harshness of it… It hurt, but with this pain to distract him he would not think of the other one. With Arthur here, he could bear it all.
"If they are stronger, it's only because you allow them to be." Arthur continued. "It's your name that has been written down even before you were born, not theirs. If you set your mind to it…"
"Wait." Merlin frowned, panic and sadness written in his expression. His heart beat faster. Afraid. "You know about…all that?"
Arthur looked at him as if he were stupid. It was a look he had gotten used to over the past year, but being in this much pain, it took everything to a different level. It hurt. "I'm not real, Merlin. I know whatever you want me to."
"Right." Merlin rolled his lips into his mouth, fighting back the tears. He would not cry tonight. Not while he was here. "I wish you were." He murmured, glancing back at the emptiness.
-
Mordred came back that very night, a plate of food in his tiny hands. He pushed it over to the prisoner, who just kicked it back with a more-or-less intact foot. "I don't want it."
Mordred stood tall, proud. There was no doubt about the fact that he was helping Merlin out for his own benefit, but there was one thing that didn't add up. The pain he'd suffered – it was still a mystery Merlin needed to solve. Because if he could get to the heart of what was wrong with the young boy, he might be able to save him. It is in your power to prevent a great evil, the dragon had once told him. Maybe this was the way to complete that task…finally. "What happened to you?"
There was only a thin line as he pressed his lips together, silent as always. "They left me. This is who I am, now."
"I don't think the druids would leave you." He pressed his palms to the ground to keep him steady as he neared the boy, trying to get him to listen. "You're family."
Mordred held his head up high. "This is who I am, now." He repeated, and Merlin felt him penetrating his thoughts, searching… Turning his face, for he felt Arthur's presence again, he saw the prince raise his eyebrows in a meaningful way.
Mordred did not find what he was after. Arthur was here now, and together they were strong.
Ok, what did you think? Pleaaase tell me? I promise to write the next chapter asap, promise! You're amazing.
BTW, I know some of you will like the "Merlin AND Arthur" bit, but those of you who don't, well... I say : interpret it anyway you want to (Merlin could just be thinking about what Arthur WOULD say if he were there), and don't be scared... it's only the one bit. It just flowed from my fingers - - and I missed writing Merlin & Arthur banter, so..
XO, as always