thanks for all the alerts and favs still hoping to see more comments though :) ... Just a little note i have no medical background/knowledge so it won't all be accurate so just go with the flow please hehe hope you like :D x
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"Katie? Oh Katie. Why did you have to be exactly like your mom?" Rick looks up to see Jim approaching, he stands, offering his seat, Jim shakes his head, opting to sit on the edge of the bed on the opposite side and taking Kate's left hand in his. Castle couldn't help but smile as he saw Jim's eye roll at the ring on Kate's hand.
"We're going to have to do something about this." Jim says with slight humour in his voice. Castle shakes his head. "It's Kate's choice Jim. We're going to be happy for her whatever she decides. We're going to be nice to Josh too."
Jim looks at Castle an eyebrow raised. He reminded him so much of Beckett, of Kate, with that look. She may take after her mother in most things, but she most certainly is her father's daughter, there's no mistaking that. Castle continues.
"Kate's happy with Josh, however much it hurts, however much he tries to be a pri.. pallyhead with me I won't be petty and childish, I won't hurt Kate by being rude to her boyfriend." Castle had to stop himself he didn't want to curse in front of Kate's father it felt wrong, it was wrong.
"You are a very honourable man Richard Castle. My daughter is very lucky to have you in her life. Thank you."
"No, I'm the lucky one. Before Kate.
Castle lets out a sigh.
"Before Kate I had no real purpose. Yes I had Alexis, and... Without her I wouldn't be half the man I am today. But. That was life. I had my books yes, and the parties and women. I had women.
Castle looks down slightly embarrassed for admitting that. Not like it wasn't known facts anyway, but to Beckett's father...
"But... Do you know why I started writing books?" Jim shakes his head, Castle continues.
"My life, it's never been... Conventional. I was raised in the theatre, by a nanny and handfuls of other people who came and went. The library became my fortress. My castle, hence the name. Those pages, I would just get so lost in them, that I would forget everything and become so lost in the world in those books. The characters in them, I relied on more than the few people in my life who stuck around. The books were always there. Until I got sent to private school and life, life became... restricted. I would spend my nights under the covers with a flash light and pen, trying to recreate the stories I once read. Until one night I wrote something new, something that was mine. I had a purpose then, and the books became everything. The only reason I had to be."
Castle lets out a breath; he'd never told anybody this before. He didn't know why he was telling Jim. The emotional rollercoaster he'd been on; was still on, making him reveal things he would normally have control over.
"Then I met Kate. And, it wasn't about the books anymore. For the first time in my life I had a real purpose. Watching Kate with the victim's families, seeing Kate everyday deal with this life, it made me want to be better. To no longer hide in the books, to actually live, and experience life in ways, places my stories couldn't take me. It's one thing to write about something, but to experience it... Kate opened up my eyes to a whole new world. It wasn't all green pastures and pretty things, but that's what made it better. You called me an honourable man Jim; but without Kate, I'm just an able man with honour."
Jim wipes at his eyes. He couldn't talk, he was so full of emotion, from seeing his daughter take a bullet and nearly die in front of him, to now seeing her, looking so small, so restricted. To hear Rick talk about his daughter, it was everything and more than a father wanted to hear. Part of Jim felt like he shouldn't be privy to all of Rick's thoughts, that maybe he didn't know what he was saying. But when he spoke about his Katie with such... Love. He wished to all the stars and god's out there that his little girl pulled through. She needed to experience life with that man, and truly see the world the way that it's supposed to be.
It's at that moment Kate's monitors start beeping frantically both Castle and Jim stand staring at the machine and at Kate, whose body is thrashing about wildly.
"Kate! What's going on?" Both Castle and Jim look to see Josh entering the room, he's running towards them, then pushing Castle out of the way and hitting the button behind Kate's bed. He's firmly holding Kate down but talking to her gently, telling her what he's doing, trying to calm her down. Several other nurses rush in, going to the other side of Kate, Jim having stepped back to let them work on her. His baby needed to be okay.
Josh looks to Castle who is sat on the floor staring up Kate like a lost little boy praying to be found.
"What were you doing before this started?" Josh asks in Doctor mode. Castle stumbles a little.
"We were talking. I was talking." Josh sighs he looks to one of the nurses who just started talking.
"Shall I push 5 Benzo?" Josh shakes his head.
"No, no."
"We don't want to give her too much..."
"We don't want to give her any. Castle come over here." Castle looks surprised and only faltered for a second before jumping up. Josh eases his hold on Kate; he turns his face looking directly at Castle.
"Tell her everything is going to be okay. Tell her that she needs to calm down or she's going to tear her stitches. Don't be scared to hold her down tightly, we do not want those stitches tearing. Okay?" Castle nods and Josh steps back letting Castle take his place. The nurses have stepped back too, looking at Josh who is looking at the floor. They must have thought him crazy, but he knew this was going to work. That's why he had to step back for Castle. He was the one meant to be by her side.
"Kate? Kate listen to me. It's Rick. It's Castle. You need to calm down okay; I know you don't like listening to people very often, especially me. But for once Kate, please, just.
Castle couldn't do it he couldn't pin her down, he couldn't fight her, he released one hand, his right and brought it up to her face, careful of the oxygen mask on her face, and pushes a strand of hair behind her ear, then cups her cheek as best as he could. Castle takes a deep breath remembering what Josh said.
"Everything's going to be okay. You're going to be fine Kate. If you calm down. I need you to calm down for me." To everyone's surprise except one, Kate's body began to slowly rock, her body calming down, Rick spoke more vehemently as it seemed to be working.
"Listen to me Kate. I promise you, everything will be okay. Just relax. That's it. I'm here. Always." After that one word her body stopped, her heart rate calmed, returning to a steadier rhythm. The nurses began to head out, not having been needed. Jim stays back watching Castle with his daughter, and how he managed to pull her back. She must be able to hear him, could she hear everything he had said. Would she remember? He prayed that she did.
Josh looks at Jim, then at Castle and Kate. Always. He'd always been there. The cause of every argument, every delay, every smile. Yeah she smiled with him but when that smile was on her face only he could have put it there.
That's the moment Josh realised. He was fighting a losing battle. He slowly walked out the room unnoticed. He would go back for the ring later. Hopefully Castle would fall asleep at some point and he wouldn't have to suffer anymore humiliation.
He'd lost.
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Thoughts? thanks for reading x
