TOW They Feel Nothing
Monica entered Joey's apartment without knocking. The night before she'd told Rachel of her ultimatum about Chandler. Now it was time to tell Chandler. Chandler and Joey were seated in front of the TV watching Baywatch.
"Hey Mon," Joey turned around and saw Monica.
"Hi Joey, uh," Monica tried to kick Joey out.
"Oh, um Chandler I gotta go," Joey got out of the chair and grabbed his jacket as he left.
"Whats up?" Chandler turned off the TV and looked to Monica, "Have a seat."
Chandler watched her take a seat, the shirt she was wearing was skin fitting and tight, and her jeans the same. As his eyes overviewed her body he suddenly became terribly scared, he wasn't turned on. Ever since that night in London just looking at Monica made him want her, and she didn't usually wear tight clothes.
"Chandler," Monica said softly, "We need to talk."
Chandler studied Monica's face, if he could read any emotions from her eyes he could have known what to say. Her face was blank.
"You left me," Monica stated simply, "You never told me where you were going."
"Mon let me explain," Chandler tried to argue, and then sighed there was nothing to explain.
"You left me alone," Monica said as she swallowed the lump buried deep in her throat that was preventing her from speaking, "I didn't know what to do."
Chandler stayed silent as Monica spoke. Monica finally sighed and she remembered what it was like to be alone and suddenly the anger she'd been keeping inside began to come out, "And it was horrible Chandler! I hated it! Here's what I came here to tell you, either you come back or its over. And I'm not going to lead you on by saying it will be all right if you come home, it won't!" She glared at him and finished, "Chandler Bing, you hurt me."
"Monica-er," Chandler sighed, "I don't know what to say."
Monica turned towards the door, "Think about it, be there by midnight or not at all."
"Wait, Monica! Your making me make a life altering decision in," Chandler glanced at his watch, "3 hours?" Monica nodded simply and opened the door. She sent a longing glance towards Chandler and walked the short distance across the hall to the apartment. The emptiness consumed her and she sunk into the couch. A single tear trickled down her cheek as if she hoped that all the answers would come to her if she cried. ~***~ It was 11:30 that night when Chandler and his suitcases came back into the apartment. The decision had been tough, he wasn't sure he still felt the same way about Monica, but if he did he wasn't sure if he was going to risk all that he had felt once. Chandler saw her curled up on the couch and he leaned over the back to see if she was sleeping or not. The puffiness around her eyes let him know she'd cried herself to sleep.
Monica was stirred from her sleep as she heard noise from the bedroom. Chandler was back! She smiled slightly as she went to the door of the room. Chandler was slowly putting his clothes back in the closet.
"You came back," Monica whispered.
Oblivious to Monica's presence Chandler jumped when he heard Monica's voice, "Yeah."
Monica looked in horror at how unorganized Chandler was putting his clothes back, "Chandler, let me do that. You're doing it all wrong."
Chandler smiled slightly and nodded, "Go ahead." ~***~ The next morning was a Saturday and Monica had decided they would unlock the front door and talk through their relationship. Her only fear and she was sure it matched Chandler's was that maybe there wasn't anything to talk about and it was over.
Monica was cleaning the dishes from breakfast while Chandler was in the bathroom shaving. They finished at almost the same time and with a sigh Monica sat in the easy chair next to the couch and Chandler dropped into the couch.
"Um, so?" Chandler started.
"Why?" Monica asked simply.
"Why what?" Chandler wondered.
"You left me Chandler," Monica said softly.
"I'm sorry," Chandler sighed, "Its just every time I looked into your eyes I saw pain. And I knew it was my fault. I didn't want you to have to live with me, the constant reminder that I lost your son."
Monica was taken aback. She had partly blamed Chandler, but not because he had been there. More because she had to blame someone and Chandler was the easiest person to blame.
"Chandler," Monica sighed and stood up.
"What are you doing?"
"I can't stay here, I don't want to spend all day crying," Monica told him.
"But you said no matter what we have to stay here," Chandler grabbed her arm.
Monica shook her arm free, "Let go of me!" she glared at him.
"Monica," Chandler tried to make her stay, but he didn't want her to stay.
"Monica what?" Monica asked crudely as she pulled her coat on.
"Have a good time," He told her sharply.
As Monica exited the apartment she realized she had nowhere to go. There was no one to talk to, the other 4 of her friends already knew their problems and she had a feeling that they were all sick of the Bing's problems. ~***~ "Where the hell is she?" Chandler asked himself 4 hours after Monica had left.
Chandler reached for the phone and dialed Joey's, then the Geller's, and finally Phoebe none of them had seen her. He grabbed the phone book and searched the number for Central Perk. Gunther hadn't seen Monica since the morning before. Chandler reached for the door knob just as the door was opening.
He let a small shriek out, he hadn't touched the door, he heard chuckling as his eyes met with Monica's.
"Where have you been?" Chandler asked harshly.
"The hallway," Monica answered simply.
"The hallway as in the one between this apartment and Joey's?"
"What other hallway is there Chandler?" Monica wondered sarcastically.
"You were out there for 4 hours?" Chandler demanded, "What were you doing out there?"
"Crying," Monica sighed.
"About what?" Chandler wanted to kick himself after he spoke, he had realized that was a really uncaring question.
"I just lost my husband," Monica sighed, "And my son."
"What?" Chandler asked in astonishment, "You lost a husband?"
"Chandler do you love me?" Monica asked.
"What kind of a question is that? I married you," Chandler said.
"Kiss me," Monica insisted.
Chandler walked to Monica, almost propelled by a greater force than his own will. He reached for her and brought their body's close. As he brought their lips together into a kiss he wanted to cry, he'd had better kisses than that. Not just from Monica, from his worst girlfriends!
Monica turned away, "Chandler?"
"Did you feel-" Chandler was interrupted by Monica.
"Nothing," She said softly. ~***~ Monica wasn't mad, she wasn't hurt, she wasn't confused, she was numb. She didn't know what to make of everything she felt, or didn't feel about Chandler. It was almost as if her brain had shut down and she was running in neutral. It was the morning after their uneventful kiss, and to escape it all Monica was in Central Perk drinking coffee with Rachel, Ross, Emma and Phoebe.
"What are Chandler and Joey doing?" Rachel asked.
"I really don't know," Monica said softly, "I don't pry."
"Well, last night Joey was talking about the huge stack of porn he had rented from the video store," Ross piped up.
"That sounds like something they'd do," Phoebe commented.
"Mommy! I'm bored," Emma complained to Rachel.
"Ross, will you take her over to the park," Rachel asked.
"Its freezing outside Rach," Ross complained, "And why do I have to why can't you?"
"Okay, go home," Rachel said, "Pheebs and I are talking to Monica."
Ross snarled and left the coffee house hurriedly. Rachel turned to Monica and sighed, "So, tell me again what exactly happened? Everything."
"Well, he came back at probably 11:30 Friday night," Monica relayed the entire story to Rachel and Phoebe.
"You felt nothing in that kiss?" Phoebe confirmed, "But Chandler is like the best kisser ever. I remember when we first got back from London and he had to kiss Rach and I every time he left the room."
"Your reminiscing about kissing my husband?" Monica asked harshly.
"Sorry," Phoebe said guiltily.
"I don't know Monica," Rachel sighed, "What do you feel about him now?"
"I'm totally empty inside, I feel nothing," Monica sighed, "The only thing I feel is the pain from my burnt tongue because I drank my coffee too fast." ~***~ "Don't you just love porn?" Joey asked as the 3rd movie ended.
"Its okay," Chandler sighed.
"Okay? Just okay? Porn is great! There's nothing better!" Joey exclaimed, "Chandler what's wrong?"
"I don't know," Chandler sighed heavily.
"Dude, something's got to be wrong," Joey complained, "You love porn! Next your going to tell me that you don't want to watch Bay watch reruns with me?"
"Bay watch? Not really," Chandler told him, "You could throw away all the porn and I really wouldn't care."
"You're a sick sick man Chandler Bing," Joey told his friend bluntly, "Something IS wrong, is it Monica?"
"I just don't really care, I don't care about anything," Chandler said.
Joey sighed. Porn was the best thing in the world, eating was the only thing that even measured up to it. And Chandler had always felt the same way, drop anything your doing for porn was his motto. And now Chandler didn't feel anything he could care less about Bay watch and porn? That was just horrible! ~***~
Monica entered Joey's apartment without knocking. The night before she'd told Rachel of her ultimatum about Chandler. Now it was time to tell Chandler. Chandler and Joey were seated in front of the TV watching Baywatch.
"Hey Mon," Joey turned around and saw Monica.
"Hi Joey, uh," Monica tried to kick Joey out.
"Oh, um Chandler I gotta go," Joey got out of the chair and grabbed his jacket as he left.
"Whats up?" Chandler turned off the TV and looked to Monica, "Have a seat."
Chandler watched her take a seat, the shirt she was wearing was skin fitting and tight, and her jeans the same. As his eyes overviewed her body he suddenly became terribly scared, he wasn't turned on. Ever since that night in London just looking at Monica made him want her, and she didn't usually wear tight clothes.
"Chandler," Monica said softly, "We need to talk."
Chandler studied Monica's face, if he could read any emotions from her eyes he could have known what to say. Her face was blank.
"You left me," Monica stated simply, "You never told me where you were going."
"Mon let me explain," Chandler tried to argue, and then sighed there was nothing to explain.
"You left me alone," Monica said as she swallowed the lump buried deep in her throat that was preventing her from speaking, "I didn't know what to do."
Chandler stayed silent as Monica spoke. Monica finally sighed and she remembered what it was like to be alone and suddenly the anger she'd been keeping inside began to come out, "And it was horrible Chandler! I hated it! Here's what I came here to tell you, either you come back or its over. And I'm not going to lead you on by saying it will be all right if you come home, it won't!" She glared at him and finished, "Chandler Bing, you hurt me."
"Monica-er," Chandler sighed, "I don't know what to say."
Monica turned towards the door, "Think about it, be there by midnight or not at all."
"Wait, Monica! Your making me make a life altering decision in," Chandler glanced at his watch, "3 hours?" Monica nodded simply and opened the door. She sent a longing glance towards Chandler and walked the short distance across the hall to the apartment. The emptiness consumed her and she sunk into the couch. A single tear trickled down her cheek as if she hoped that all the answers would come to her if she cried. ~***~ It was 11:30 that night when Chandler and his suitcases came back into the apartment. The decision had been tough, he wasn't sure he still felt the same way about Monica, but if he did he wasn't sure if he was going to risk all that he had felt once. Chandler saw her curled up on the couch and he leaned over the back to see if she was sleeping or not. The puffiness around her eyes let him know she'd cried herself to sleep.
Monica was stirred from her sleep as she heard noise from the bedroom. Chandler was back! She smiled slightly as she went to the door of the room. Chandler was slowly putting his clothes back in the closet.
"You came back," Monica whispered.
Oblivious to Monica's presence Chandler jumped when he heard Monica's voice, "Yeah."
Monica looked in horror at how unorganized Chandler was putting his clothes back, "Chandler, let me do that. You're doing it all wrong."
Chandler smiled slightly and nodded, "Go ahead." ~***~ The next morning was a Saturday and Monica had decided they would unlock the front door and talk through their relationship. Her only fear and she was sure it matched Chandler's was that maybe there wasn't anything to talk about and it was over.
Monica was cleaning the dishes from breakfast while Chandler was in the bathroom shaving. They finished at almost the same time and with a sigh Monica sat in the easy chair next to the couch and Chandler dropped into the couch.
"Um, so?" Chandler started.
"Why?" Monica asked simply.
"Why what?" Chandler wondered.
"You left me Chandler," Monica said softly.
"I'm sorry," Chandler sighed, "Its just every time I looked into your eyes I saw pain. And I knew it was my fault. I didn't want you to have to live with me, the constant reminder that I lost your son."
Monica was taken aback. She had partly blamed Chandler, but not because he had been there. More because she had to blame someone and Chandler was the easiest person to blame.
"Chandler," Monica sighed and stood up.
"What are you doing?"
"I can't stay here, I don't want to spend all day crying," Monica told him.
"But you said no matter what we have to stay here," Chandler grabbed her arm.
Monica shook her arm free, "Let go of me!" she glared at him.
"Monica," Chandler tried to make her stay, but he didn't want her to stay.
"Monica what?" Monica asked crudely as she pulled her coat on.
"Have a good time," He told her sharply.
As Monica exited the apartment she realized she had nowhere to go. There was no one to talk to, the other 4 of her friends already knew their problems and she had a feeling that they were all sick of the Bing's problems. ~***~ "Where the hell is she?" Chandler asked himself 4 hours after Monica had left.
Chandler reached for the phone and dialed Joey's, then the Geller's, and finally Phoebe none of them had seen her. He grabbed the phone book and searched the number for Central Perk. Gunther hadn't seen Monica since the morning before. Chandler reached for the door knob just as the door was opening.
He let a small shriek out, he hadn't touched the door, he heard chuckling as his eyes met with Monica's.
"Where have you been?" Chandler asked harshly.
"The hallway," Monica answered simply.
"The hallway as in the one between this apartment and Joey's?"
"What other hallway is there Chandler?" Monica wondered sarcastically.
"You were out there for 4 hours?" Chandler demanded, "What were you doing out there?"
"Crying," Monica sighed.
"About what?" Chandler wanted to kick himself after he spoke, he had realized that was a really uncaring question.
"I just lost my husband," Monica sighed, "And my son."
"What?" Chandler asked in astonishment, "You lost a husband?"
"Chandler do you love me?" Monica asked.
"What kind of a question is that? I married you," Chandler said.
"Kiss me," Monica insisted.
Chandler walked to Monica, almost propelled by a greater force than his own will. He reached for her and brought their body's close. As he brought their lips together into a kiss he wanted to cry, he'd had better kisses than that. Not just from Monica, from his worst girlfriends!
Monica turned away, "Chandler?"
"Did you feel-" Chandler was interrupted by Monica.
"Nothing," She said softly. ~***~ Monica wasn't mad, she wasn't hurt, she wasn't confused, she was numb. She didn't know what to make of everything she felt, or didn't feel about Chandler. It was almost as if her brain had shut down and she was running in neutral. It was the morning after their uneventful kiss, and to escape it all Monica was in Central Perk drinking coffee with Rachel, Ross, Emma and Phoebe.
"What are Chandler and Joey doing?" Rachel asked.
"I really don't know," Monica said softly, "I don't pry."
"Well, last night Joey was talking about the huge stack of porn he had rented from the video store," Ross piped up.
"That sounds like something they'd do," Phoebe commented.
"Mommy! I'm bored," Emma complained to Rachel.
"Ross, will you take her over to the park," Rachel asked.
"Its freezing outside Rach," Ross complained, "And why do I have to why can't you?"
"Okay, go home," Rachel said, "Pheebs and I are talking to Monica."
Ross snarled and left the coffee house hurriedly. Rachel turned to Monica and sighed, "So, tell me again what exactly happened? Everything."
"Well, he came back at probably 11:30 Friday night," Monica relayed the entire story to Rachel and Phoebe.
"You felt nothing in that kiss?" Phoebe confirmed, "But Chandler is like the best kisser ever. I remember when we first got back from London and he had to kiss Rach and I every time he left the room."
"Your reminiscing about kissing my husband?" Monica asked harshly.
"Sorry," Phoebe said guiltily.
"I don't know Monica," Rachel sighed, "What do you feel about him now?"
"I'm totally empty inside, I feel nothing," Monica sighed, "The only thing I feel is the pain from my burnt tongue because I drank my coffee too fast." ~***~ "Don't you just love porn?" Joey asked as the 3rd movie ended.
"Its okay," Chandler sighed.
"Okay? Just okay? Porn is great! There's nothing better!" Joey exclaimed, "Chandler what's wrong?"
"I don't know," Chandler sighed heavily.
"Dude, something's got to be wrong," Joey complained, "You love porn! Next your going to tell me that you don't want to watch Bay watch reruns with me?"
"Bay watch? Not really," Chandler told him, "You could throw away all the porn and I really wouldn't care."
"You're a sick sick man Chandler Bing," Joey told his friend bluntly, "Something IS wrong, is it Monica?"
"I just don't really care, I don't care about anything," Chandler said.
Joey sighed. Porn was the best thing in the world, eating was the only thing that even measured up to it. And Chandler had always felt the same way, drop anything your doing for porn was his motto. And now Chandler didn't feel anything he could care less about Bay watch and porn? That was just horrible! ~***~