Chapter 4 Going there to come back
"You feel so nice. So young and soft, I picked good didn't I?" His mouth whispered into my ear as softly as if it had been a welcomed action and it wasn't. I twisted my head to the side, trying to get as far from the voice as I could manage. I didn't want to hear him anymore, it was already bad enough this moment. The last thing I wanted was to hear this sickly sweet voice speaking to me. But he wasn't going to be denied and his hand grasped my chin roughly to pull my face back to his. "Look at me, I want you to be looking at me..."
"No." I cried out softly, my hands reaching out in darkness for something or anything to use to knock him off me. But there was nothing. My fingers only met the cold, hard cement floor and nothing else. I was at the mercy of this man and he had made it very clear that there was no mercy to be found in his eyes. "Please let me go. Please..."
"Mmmm, begging is just so unattractive you know." He said jokingly as if we were old friends. His weight felt heavy on me and is breath fell cool on my face. He even smelled good and I hated that. He was violating me, hurting me. I wanted him to look and smell like a monster, not like this perfect looking man. His fingers held tightly to my wrists to keep me from throwing them around. "Come on, this is just a good..."
"Help me!" I screamed when I had the chance, knowing if I didn't take it now then I was as good as dead. But like most things, my actions came too late and I soon felt his hand clamp down across my mouth, successfully cutting off any sound. I squirmed, trying to get loose so I could yell out for help again but he was too strong. I cursed myself for being the tiniest one in my family just now, my small frame was working against me tonight. I still tried to scream,but my voice was muffled and didn't even reach my own ears. I was trapped now with an angry monster on top of me.
"You shouldn't have done that." He told me, trying to sound like he pitied me but the gleam in his eyes said the exact opposite as he reached between us to unzip his pants...
"No!" I gasped suddenly, shooting up out of a dead sleep as I bolted into a sitting position with my hands waving wildly out in front of me to push back my rapist. Only my hands met empty air. He wasn't there in front of me, he wasn't even in the room. It was just me alone with my racing heart and cold sweat springing up all across my skin. I clasped my hands to my chest as my focus started coming back to me and I was able to realize that I was alright and it was nothing more then a nightmarish flashback. He was only haunting my dreams, not my reality. I could breathe again, I could relax. I was OK, I was alone. Only I wasn't alone. It was only when I turned my head to the side that I noticed the familiar figure sitting up beside me looking worried. "Alex?"
"Savannah what the heck is wrong?" He didn't hesitate in reaching over and grabbing my arms in his large warm hands to hold me in place like he thought any minute I would start trying to hit him. His eyes stared down at me in frazzled concern. "I woke up and you were squirming around in your sleep like you were having a fight or something."
"It was...it was a nightmare. Just a nightmare." I told him, reaching up to wipe the remaining sleep from my eyes so I could see his face clearly in the early morning light that drifted in through the window. I could see the worry in his eyes, the tension felt in his touch as I looked at him. The images of the flashback were fading away but the fear I had felt 2 years ago was still very much there and there was no hiding that from Alex. I didn't have time to put up my defenses right out of sleep and pretend like it was nothing. He would see right through it. I would have to lie. I looked at him sadly. "I just had this flashback nightmare of when I told my dad I was leaving and it was replaying the conversation over and over again. He just looked so angry and hurt and..."
"Hey, hey, calm down. It's alright." He assured me, his hands going up to cup my face and his thumbs wiped away tears I hadn't even realized had fallen. He drew me closer to him, pulling me against his bare chest so he could wrap his arms around me before I heard him say. "You can tell me the truth you know, no matter what it is."
"That is the truth." I protested, feeling a sting come from his doubt and I pulled out of his embrace with a frown. "What? You think I'm lying about what I was dreaming about?"
"Yea, I do think you're lying." He said without a hint of shame in his voice,looking at me in that unflinching way of his when he knew in his heart that he was right about something. He had been inching closer to the truth a lot more these last few weeks and I knew eventually I would have to tell him. Or get better at hiding it. He wouldn't stop if he thought there was something else bothering me. He loved me too much to give up, that much I knew. "I think you want me to believe this lie so I won't see passed it to something else. Something that makes you too uncomfortable to talk about."
"You thinking I'm lying makes me uncomfortable." I snapped suddenly, feeling an unprovoked anger flare up just then and I was helpless to fight it back. "Maybe you just need to fucking trust me more. I'm not doing anything wrong."
"I never said you did." Alex exclaimed, looking like he was already weary of this conversation and it had barely begun. Alex never liked to get into arguments if he could avoid it, but I knew there was no letting this mood slide. I climbed out of bed, keeping distance between us even as he reached for me and failed. "Savannah come on, don't be like this.."
"I'm not being like anything." I hissed, grabbing my robe before stomping out of the room and leaving a bewildered looking Alex behind.
Late that afternoon
"You seem to be distracted today...your focus just isn't here and it worries me."
"Normally you're so precise and on point, but today you seem like a different person entirely. Not that you're not allowed to be off once in a while, but you never are and to have it happen so randomly is a little bit of a concern to me..."
"Alex mentioned the slight altercation between you two this morning, he seems to think that there is..."
"Alex needs to mind his own business. I told him I was fine and I am fine. He doesn't need to be going to my boss and telling him everything that goes wrong in my life." I grumbled in response, lifting my eyes for the first time since this conversation had begun and met the frowning and surprised blue eyes of Jeff Jarrett. I immediately felt bad for talking to him like that, I never had before so I was sure that was the reason for the look of shock on his face. And he was like Alex in the sense that when he pulled me aside this afternoon in the arena, he was only trying to help in the only way he could by trying to make me talk to him. He had noticed I had been in a horrible mood when I came in 40 minutes earlier for the tv taping tonight,but it was only now when he had been able to catch up with my in the hallway to bring it up. And having to talk about my mood of course reminded me of the reason for it and I couldn't help but feel my attitude go sour even more. I looked at Jeff and frowned. "There is nothing else going on, no matter what Alex may have told you."
"It's not just what he told me or even your mood today, that has me raising a red flag in my head. I have this gut feeling that you're not telling me something." Jeff blatantly told me, replicating almost the same thing that Alex had said to me this morning and I felt my lips turn downward in response. Why did everyone have to freaking think the same thing? Why did Jeff of all people have to jump on the bandwagon? I could feel his concerned eyes on me again and I looked up and much to my chagrin, he had that damn paternal look of his that he used like I was one of his daughters. "Savannah, I have known you most of your life and I've gotten pretty good at knowing when you're hiding something deep inside of you. And I think that's the case now. It's been going on for a while hasn't it..."
"Jeff, please get a grip and stop reading into this. Can't we just chalk it up to me having a bad day?" I asked with a hard edge to my voice that I knew I was lucky to get away with without consequences. Yes Jeff was one of my closest friends and yes he sometimes acted like my second father, but that didn't give me any more leverage to get away with talking to him the way I was right now. No other wrestler would have been immune to it and neither was I. But I guess he was just as certain as Alex was that there was something else going on and he let it slide. I just shook my head. "I just haven't had a good night sleep and I'm tired. But I'm here to work and I can't do that if you and Alex are bugging me every 5 minutes about my mood."
"We're just worried, that's all. It's not our fault that you're so beloved around here that everyone picks up on your change in mood." Jeff replied with a slight upturn to his lips that was the closest he had gotten to smiling since we met up. I couldn't be mad at him for long or even just frustrated. How could I when this man had been more of a father to me then my own one was. I looked at his face and saw him watching me studiously before he spoke. "You know you can talk to me about anything right? No matter..."
"Yes, yes I know. No matter what it is, I got the same point from Alex, I don't need to hear it again." I said, rubbing my fingers into my temples in an attempt to ease the pain that was starting to build there. "If I want to talk then I will."
"Sometimes you are too stubborn for your own good." Jeff grumbled, showing the first signs of frustration but it wasn't this expression that had me frozen in place. It was his statement that touched on something deep inside of me that suddenly threw me backwards into a dark place that felt as familiar as the one I had been in this morning...
"What are you doing? Get off me."
"Shhhh, be quiet, you don't want anyone to over hear us now do you?" His husky voice smirked into my face,staring at me in the dim light as he held me up against the cold wall where the hardness pressed into my back roughly. His hands gripped my hips, his fingers feeling as heavy as steel as they held me in place. "Stop moving so much and maybe I'll be gentle."
"Fuck off, you're not going to do anything to me." I tried to sound threatening, thinking that if I sounded stronger then I was then maybe it would convince him to let me go. But I wasn't strong, I never had been. I was a weak little girl and he knew that. That's why he had chosen me, there was no other reason besides that. And still I tried to fight back. "Get your damn hands off me."
"I tried to be nice but I guess that approach doesn't work with a bitch like you." He growled, his voice turning dark in the matter of second as his hands left my hips and grabbed the back of my head. I barely had a second to think before I found myself being flung on the cement floor, with all the air being knocked out of me on impact. I hadn't taken my first breath before I was turned over and found his eyes hovering over me again. He straddled my waist with his knee, his strength so apparent that I knew there was no hope for me as he leaned in close with a smirk on his lips. "You are too stubborn for your own good."
I didn't even have a chance to scream before I felt his hands slip under my clothes...
"Savannah?" Jeff's voice came at me so suddenly that I had forgotten that we were standing in the hallway and he was only standing a few inches from me, and my hand immediately went up to push him as I shook my head nervously. He was quicker and grabbed hold of my wrist before I hit him and stepped back while still keeping a hold of me. "What the hell is wrong? You almost hit me for no reason."
"I'm...I'm sorry Jeff. I'm just, not myself today." I shook my head rapidly, clearing any images of the memories from my mind so it couldn't haunt me again. Jeff had inadvertently touched on something that triggered a flashback and in return I had almost hit him thinking I was still locked in that memory. But I wasn't, I was here with my friend and I was safe. Nothing was going to hurt me again. I had to remember that as I looked at my boss and tugged my arm away and tried to slip off without seeming like I was running away. "I have to go."
And as I was hurrying away down the hall, I passed by many open doors and most of them I didn't even look at twice, except for one. This doorway was filled with a tall broad figure that had been leaning against the frame and watching Jeff and I's interaction without me even realizing it at the time. I felt my cheeks flame red as I hurried passed Bobby Roode, barely noticing that he followed my steps with his eyes until I turned a corner.
1 hour later
"So are you going to talk to me at all tonight or am I just going to stand here talking to myself like an idiot?"
"Oh my god, I'm sorry." I had to shake my head twice to clear the haze from my mind long enough to focus on Alex's face as he stood before me in the hallway and I almost flinched at the expression that was beginning to form on his features. He was getting annoyed with me,I could tell and he probably had a right to. Ever since we got to the arena, he had been trying to carry on a conversation with me and each time I got distracted by my own thoughts or I just didn't pay attention and missed half of what he said which forced him to repeat himself more then just a few times. I knew he was only trying to snap me out of the funk that I had been in since waking up and I appreciated his efforts but nothing seemed to work and even he was starting to lose steam. I looked at him with an apologetic smile and said. "I really am sorry. I can't seem to pay attention to you..."
"Yea I've noticed." Alex said sarcastically, his eyes rolling fast as he stuck his hands inside his pockets and leaned against the wall with his lips pressed tightly together like he was trying to keep his annoyance trapped inside his mouth. "I guess I'm not enough of a distraction for you..."
"Alex don't be like that, you know this isn't about you. If it was, I would have told you." I shot back, needing him to at least understand that my mood had nothing to do with him. But he was getting so fed up with me that he was turning irrational and automatically thinking my bad attitude had to do with something he did. And that wasn't the case at all. I reached out and touched his arm. "I'm having a bad day and..."
"And maybe you should talk to me about it instead of just closing it off like you think that will actually help." He interrupted again, having no qualms about cutting me off when he thought he had touched upon the reason why I was being so difficult. "Because this charming personality change is getting a little old."
"You have bad days all the time, I'm allowed to have one." I protested, feeling a flicker of anger come over me which I welcomed rather then the fear that accompanied the nightmare this morning and the flashback this afternoon. I glanced at Alex and shook my head. "I just wish you would be there for me..."
"I am." He insisted, standing up straight while pulling his hands out of his dress pants pockets.
"And I wish you would stop interrupting me all the time." I went on, ignoring the fact that I was now actually having a conversation with him after all his failed attempts. "I'm just not myself lately and especially not today. So give me a break."
"Does this have to do with all the mentions of WWE flying around lately? Is that why you are acting so weird?" Alex questioned, his eyes staring straight down at me as if daring me to try and look away. He had no idea how close he was to the truth and how far he really was. Yes the WWE brought back memories of the rape and my family, but the company itself was alright. It was on both sides of the spectrum and Alex didn't realize that. It would be a lot easier in moments like this if he knew the whole truth, then he would understand when I got like this. But that would involve saying those horrible words out loud and I couldn't do that, I don't think I could ever do that. So I was quite willing to let him go at me for the wrong reasons as long as I got to avoid having to have the one conversation I did not want to have. "I know it bothers you to hear that name, but you never acted like this before. Was I right the other day when I asked if..."
"Alex don't even go there. I already told you there is nothing else going on." I tried not groan when I saw where he was going with this but it was hard not to. The last time Alex got this close to knowing the real reason, we had ended up in a fight and I didn't want that to happen now. "You're making too much of this. It's just a bad day and that's it."
"No, I don't think that's it. I think there's something else going on that you're not telling me about. And I'm thinking it's been going on for a while now. You're just not as good at hiding it today." He pointed out, reaching up to ruffled his fingers through his hair and messing it up a bit before he shrugged. He had reached his limit, I could tell. And now he would leave so he didn't say anything out of line that he couldn't take back. He backed away and waved a hand at me. "I'll talk to you later."
"OK, bye." I watched him walk down the hallway and turn a corner without ever looking back over his shoulder at me. I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face, trying to revive my features before I had to head into the locker-room and get ready for the taping. I was just turning to head in the opposite direction when I was stopped short by the sight of a figure standing not too far away from. It was Bobby Roode and by the way he was standing, he had been watching the exchange between Alex and I for a while and we just hadn't noticed. I sent a glare at him as I walked by and said. "What the hell are you looking at?"
"Nothing at all." He replied with a raised eyebrow, meeting my eyes briefly like he wanted to say more but didn't and I just stomped passed him like I did earlier and left him behind.
A few hours later
"Did you see that fall Savannah McMahon took to the outside floor? It looked pretty brutal. Let's just hope that young lady is alright."
"I sure hope so Mike, that kind of slip up could bring up some very serious injuries that could take months to come back from. We'll just hope that's not the case."
"As you can see on the reply, Savannah went to the top of the turnbuckle where not many Knockouts dare to go and she tried to pull off an aerial maneuver, but her foot slipped on the rope and she took a nasty tumble down to the floor. The medics are out here now to see if she needs medical attention but I think I can see some movement from her..."
I closed my eyes briefly as I laid there on the mats only feet away from the announcing table and tried not to grit my teeth in pain. I could hear the comments and murmurs that Mike Tenay and Taz were making both on air and in real time as they watched from behind the table as the medics approached me to make sure I wasn't knocked out. I could hear the vibrations through the floor as the fans stomped their feet nervously, wondering whether this was for real or just part of the show. Of course only I knew it was for real as I had just lived through it. I was suppose to have gone to the top of the turnbuckle to do a moonsault onto Madison Rayne as per the instructions for the match and then cover her for the finish. But with my mind being elsewhere today, I hadn't been paying as close attention as I normally did when I was doing high risk moves and in turn I wasn't as careful as I should have been. My hands had been gripping the ropes as I was preparing to stand up, but as my mind wandered, my legs shook hard and I lost my balance. It was like it was happening in slow motion as I fell back first onto the ring, my lower back catching the ring apron before I fell to the mats and my leg hit the edge of the ring steps before I came to a stop. And I was surprised when I was able to actually look up and stay conscious, that fall should have knocked me out but it hadn't. The match had been called to a stop and the ref immediately waved down the real paramedics as this was not part of the show.
"Savannah are you alright? Can you move your arms and legs? What about your neck?" An older man asked me from the myriad of faces hovering above me as I laid on the black mats outside the ring and looked up at the group of medics surrounding me looking more then just a little concerned. In fact, judging by the expressions on their faces I could tell some of them thought I had broken my neck or something else due to the severity of the fall I had just taken. But I was OK as far as I could tell. I had suffered a few broken bones and many injuries over the years, so I knew when something was wrong or just hurting. And luckily I knew my body well enough to know I was just going to be sore for a while, and I had gotten away from this slip up quite easily. But still, the medics had to do their job and make sure. "Is anything hurting you?"
"My left leg and my back. I think I bruised them when I fell." I told them, rolling over on my side to get a better look at my leg and I was dismayed to see a rather large bruise already starting to form on the upper part of my leg. It was ugly, but at least it wasn't broken. And neither was my back. If I hadn't fallen first onto the apron then I could have very well been paralyzed right now. I was going to be hurting still that was for sure, but I wasn't critically injured. I pushed myself up into a sitting position and chewed on the inside of my mouth as I felt the tug of pain in my lower back but I moved my other limbs to show I was OK. "I'm fine. I think I can walk out of here on my own."
"You really shouldn't do that." A younger medic warned me but I ignored him and pushed myself to my feet much to the delight of the crowds who began cheering, thinking this was just part of the show. The medics tried to offer me a shoulder to lean on as I limped back up the ramp to go backstage,but I shrugged them off, determined to get out of here on my own. It hurt to walk up that incline and I could have just bypassed it all and went around the stage, but I was way too stubborn to do that and just pushed through the aching until I got to the top of the stage and waved my hands at the fans to show I was alright. Their cheering lifted me up slightly as I turned to head down the tunnel with my hand at my lower back for support.
"Are you out of your ever loving mind? You should have let them take you out on a stretcher before you hurt yourself even more." Alex's frantic voice was the first to fill my ears the moment I stepped down from the tunnel to the backstage area and immediately I was swarmed, not only by him but by Jeff as well and the two of them looked both relieved and furious to see me standing there on my own two feet. "What if you broke something? Walking back on your own could have exacerbated it..."
"But it didn't, I'm fine." I replied with what I hoped was a smile but it turned into more of a grimace as I tried to stand up straight and found that the motion brought on a swift and sharp pain. I kept the noise inside my mouth as I looked at the two of them,feeling almost touched by the worry in their eyes. They always reacted this way when I took a spill so I should have expected it, but with the way this day had been going, I was just not in the mood to deal with it. It was too much. "Look I'm sorry for messing up the finish but..."
"Fuck the finish, who cares about that? You could have been seriously injured." Jeff exclaimed, looking furious that I would even dare to suggest that my mess up of the flow of the show was more important then my own safety. And in that instance, Jeff did not look like the founder of the company I worked for, he looked more like a concerned father. "I can't believe you would be worrying about that."
"And I can't believe you would be worrying about me right now. If I walked back here then obviously I'm fine. Yes I will be sore but I'm OK." I assured him, trying not to sound as annoyed as I felt. And truthfully I wasn't annoyed,not really. It was just their concern was a little more then I could handle on my plate right now and it was starting to boil over. "Look, I'm going to have a few bruises but that's it. So please just back off."
I saw the look of shock on both Alex and Jeff as I walked away from them towards the hallways that lead back to the locker-rooms. I knew they were stunned that I had talked back to them and I was even a little surprised at myself. I was never this mean or cold and I certainly never brushed off anyone's concern when it was warranted. But today I was just not in the mood for people to be nice to me. I just wanted to be left alone and stop having my behavior pointed out to me so obviously. Why couldn't everyone just let this go? So I made a mistake during the match and ended up hurting myself, at least I didn't hurt anyone else. That had to count for something. I was so busy fuming over this that I didn't even notice someone coming out of one of the locker-rooms in the hallway I was in and I ran smack right into them.
"Oh crap, I'm sorry. I wasn't looking...what the fuck!" I couldn't hide the upswing of fury in my voice as I looked up into the face of Bobby Roode for the 3rd time today. We had never had this many run ins before and now it was our third encounter in less then a few hours. What the hell was going on here today? Everywhere I turned, there he was. "Are you following me?"
"No, this was my locker-room and legally I am allowed to leave it at some point even if it means running into you again." He replied smartly, his dark eyes staring down at me almost knowingly like he knew something that I didn't. It was kind of creepy even though I had known him for 2 years. He watched me intently, his face growing with concern before saying. "I saw what happened just now, are you..."
"I'm fine for the last damn time." I snapped, finally feeling my patience reach its end as I sent him a glare and moved passed him while trying not to groan in pain. I looked over my shoulder at him and said. "Fuck off and stop watching me."
I could feel his eyes on me the entire time and it put an old fear back in my body as I left him behind.
Later that night
"Can I talk to you?" I asked hesitantly, looking down at the table where Alex was sitting and tried not to grimace when I saw the frown that had appeared on his face the moment I had walked up to him. I knew when I found him again after our last encounter that it wasn't going to immediately be pleasant given that the last few times I had essentially brushed him off or annoyed him. In fact, I almost didn't want to even be here to talk to him because I knew he may have been holding a grudge based on my attitude this entire day. And I couldn't blame him for that, not really. Things had been going fine and then they started changing lately and I knew it had taken him by surprise. And while I couldn't bring myself to tell him the reason for the change, at least I could say I was sorry for being such a nightmare today. I twisted my hands around themselves and shifted from foot to foot while biting on my lip. "Can I sit down?"
"Only if you want to." He replied, sitting back in his chair and using the heel of his wrestling boot to push out another chair for me, which gave me a sense of relief that he wasn't entirely pissed at me. I had known Alex for a long time and when he was mad, he barely acknowledged the person he was mad at. So when I sat down next to him, I wasn't as nervous as I had been when I set out to find him. Alex tugged on the hem of his black t shirt before looking at me with a raised eyebrow. "You're not going to freak out and act weird again are you?"
"No, I won't. Trust me." I assured him, almost smiling at his response and feeling some relief at his attempt at easing the tension. It was another clue that he wasn't upset with me anymore because he wouldn't have been sounding slightly amused. I tucked my hands under my arms and jiggled my foot under the table as I tried to figure out how to fix this between us. "Look, I feel bad about how I was acting today with you and Jeff, but mostly with you. I didn't mean to be such a bitch, I just..."
"Just having a bad day?" He finished for me, his eyebrows drawn low and his lips in a tight thin line as he looked me over almost studiously like he wasn't sure whether to believe me when I nodded. Alex knew me so well, that he could pick up on the subtleties that no one else noticed. But even he couldn't quite pinpoint the reason behind what happened today and I think that is why he went with the bad day excuse. "Yea I could tell. It was just weird because you're never like that. I don't think I've ever seen you in that bad of a mood so it kind of took me by surprise."
"Yea, I feel horrible for just springing that side of me on you so randomly but I guess it was just bound to come out at some point." I shrugged, amazed at how easily the lie came out of my mouth but then again I had been keeping up this wall for years, so it wasn't hard to sound convincing. But it wasn't all a lie, I did feel bad about my behavior and I didn't want the night to end on a bad note. "I know its no excuse, but I didn't sleep well last night and that nightmare woke me up early and put me in a bad mood and I didn't want you to think I wasn't sorry for..."
"OK, you can relax and stop it with the apologies, I know you're sorry." Alex sent me a small grin just then and he finally relaxed his body language and I knew that the tension between us was going away just from that expression of his. He reached over and covered my hand with his and smiled again. "Everyone has a crappy day, and today was just one of yours. So I get it."
"Thank you for understanding." I smiled back, wishing beyond anything that letting go of the past was as easy as letting go of this near argument but I would have to accept this small victory for now until I could even think of facing the truth. I met his eyes and sighed happily. "You didn't have to be so nice about it and I wouldn't have blamed you for not wanting to talk to me, but I appreciate you being so wonderful and just letting it go."
"What kind of man would I be if I held a grudge over my girl just having an off day? Isn't it part of the requirement of being in a relationship, that I take your one bad day along with all the good ones?" He asked with a smirk, touching on the one subject that had always been the great unspoken between us, how we never confirmed our relationship officially even just between us. And despite my reluctance to talk about it, Alex did like to tease me and say we were a couple when it was just us in the room. I knew he would never tell anyone else without my permission and I was grateful for that, it was how I knew he was one of the good ones. Alex moved his chair closer to mine and reached over to flick my hair off my shoulder. "Alright, since you were having a dark day, lets end it on a good and light note."
"And how do you propose we do that?" I asked, smiling a little more brightly when it seemed like our problems for the day were behind us and I could just enjoy the time with him. "We're not going to go around pranking the other wrestlers are we?"
"Not what I had in mind but that's not a bad idea." He said, tapping his fingers against the side of his head as a familiar look twinkled in his eyes. Alex loved to cause mischief in the funniest type of way, he liked to have people laughing and wanting to get revenge on him for one of his pranks. It was this side of his personality that drew me to him in the first place. "Actually I was thinking we just keep it low key. We'll grab Chris after the show and go to your house to hang out and just have one of our old fashioned best friend movie nights like we use to have. What do you think?"
"I think it's just what I need to change my mood around." I shot back, leaning forward so I could kiss him and I could feel the smile on his lips as he responded, his arm going around me briefly before he pulled back and glanced at the clock on the wall. I followed his eyes and frowned. "Oh damn, you have to go out for your match now."
"Don't sound so disappointed, I'll be back soon enough." He declared, getting to his feet at the same time I did and he pulled me towards him again so I was back in his arms. It was a good thing there was no one else around or else I wouldn't have given in to the passionate kiss he laid on me. But then again it was so hard to resist that I probably wouldn't have stopped him even if there were people watching us. I thought I would have been apprehensive about him kissing me so intimately after the emotionally draining day that I had but it was nice to be close to someone who had made me so happy for so long after what happened. Alex had always made me feel safe and right now was no exception as we stood there wrapped up in that kiss. When he pulled away, he looked disappointed as he shot towards the doorway. "Hold those lips until I get back."
I watched him leave the room and then I just sat back down at the table with my elbows on the top and my chin in my hands. I had a smile on my face, an actual smile that remained in place even after the source of it had left me alone. It was amazing how quickly things could turn around and it was more due to Alex's grace in handling me for my behavior today then anything else. Any other guy would have held a grudge or been rude in response. But Alex was not just any other guy and I had learned that long ago. He and Chris were among the only people I really trusted besides Jeff nowadays and I didn't want to upset the balance by letting things end the way they began. But luckily Alex had taken care of that in his usual charming way and by the end of the night, it was going to be him and I hanging out with Chris like we use to when things were great between us. I was looking forward to it.
"Well, you look somewhat happy for the first time today. That's quite a change." A familiar sounding voice spoke up from behind me and I barely had a chance to grimace and drop my hands before the seat next to me was now filled with another body. But unlike with when it was Alex, I was not happy to see this person. Bobby shot me a slight upturned smile as he sat back in the metal chair, his ankle propped up on his left knee as he turned his eyes to me. "Are you going to curse me out again?"
"Only if you refuse to explain yourself." I snapped, my patience now reaching an all time low for the day and even more so due to this 4th run in him. I turned myself around in the chair and glared at him, I had never really interacted with him all that much in the years I had been with the company and to have this many moments with him was more then just a little disconcerting. I crossed my arms around myself and narrowed my eyes to near slits. "Why don't you tell me why the hell you have been watching me all day? What are you, a stalker?"
"Not a stalker, just a mildly curious man." He replied with a shrug of his broad shoulders, his long hair pulled back from his face so he couldn't hide his eyes from looking right at me. I shifted nervously, wishing that I had left the room with Alex when he had to go. But I made myself stay put when he leaned forward with a darkening look on his face. "Look, I'll tell you why I was looking at you but I can't tell you while we're here in the arena. We need to meet somewhere else."
"Why? So you can have me alone and attack me without any witnesses?" I questioned sarcastically, smiling smugly when Bobby sat back with a frown. I didn't really believe that he would do something like that, I may not have known him as well as the other wrestlers on the roster, but I knew enough to know he wasn't the type of guy to attack a woman. And yet, I still kept my guard up after the way the day had turned out. But I couldn't deny that I was a little curious, how could I not be after having him stare at me so many times in one day when he had never done it before. I frowned and said grudgingly. "Ok, humor me. Why do we need to meet somewhere else for you to tell me the reason for your creepiness?"
"I'm not creepy. And trust me when I say that you wouldn't like for me to talk about this in a place where any of our co-workers could possibly over hear." He told me in a no nonsense kind of tone that grabbed my attention and held me in the moment, if I wasn't already curious before then I definitely was now after that last statement. Once Bobby saw that he still had my focus, he went on. "You know that old playground 15 minutes from the arena? Meet me there at 11:30 and we'll talk. I promise I will explain myself."
"You better or else I'm going to be more pissed off then I already am." I grumbled, hardly believing that I was actually going to go through with this. It was more likely that it was going to bite me in the ass but I couldn't just ignore it. Something about the way Bobby was looking at me and the way he had spoken to me, had me thinking that I needed to meet with him after the show and find out the reason for why he was always just there. And that's why I said. "Fine, 11:30. I'll be there."
45 Minutes later
"I can't freaking believe that I'm actually blowing off some of my time with Alex and Chris to meet up with this smug bastard. I must really want this night to end on a sucky note." I grumbled to myself as I pulled my black jeep into the parking-lot of the old playground Bobby had told me to meet him at and spotted only one other car parked right in the middle closest to the playground itself. Of course no one else would be here, this playground hadn't been used in years and no one even hung out there to do anything bad, so in that sense it would be the perfect place to talk without being overheard by anyone else. Although I still couldn't fathom what the hell Bobby wanted to talk about. When I said we hadn't interacted all that much in my time in TNA, I wasn't kidding. Sure we said hi in the hallways as all the wrestlers did, it was a small roster and everyone knew each other. He and I even were in a couple of mixed tag team matches a handful of times over the years. But that was it, our interaction had always been in the confines of the arena and now he was asking to see me outside of it for the first time and I had no idea why. It made me extremely nervous to think of meeting with someone in the parking-lot of a darkened playground where there was no one else around and sure I could have just ignored his request and went home. But if I did that then there was no guarantee that he wouldn't try and say something to me the next time we were at work. And if what he said was true about this not being something that should be overheard, then the best bet would be to just hear him out. I pulled up next to the car and looked through my window to see that it was indeed Bobby and he was alone so I breathed a little more easily when I rolled down my window. "I thought you were kidding with me, I didn't think you would actually be here."
"I thought the same thing about you. But I guess we were both very obviously mistaken." He replied back with the same sort of smirk he used when he was on camera as he slammed his door shut at the same time I climbed out of my car and stood between the two vehicles under a flickering old lamppost and crossed my arms as he looked down at me with his eyebrows raised. "So I guess I piked your interest huh?"
"Bobby come on, we've barely ever run into each other more then a few times over the last 2 years and now all of a sudden every time I turn a corner, there you are staring at me. So yea, I suppose I am a little interested." I answered back with what I knew was an annoyed tone under my breath as I leaned against the side of my car while trying not to roll my eyes. It was a little surreal to be here with a guy I worked with but hadn't really spent any significant amount of time and yet we were meeting undercover like we were hiding something. And I would like to understand why. I leveled him with another stare. "So I'm here and so are you. Not get to that explanation."
"You mean you don't want to carry on with this delightful conversation we have going on?" He asked teasingly, obviously trying to make things lighter in the air since it was becoming apparent that I was not in the mood to joke around tonight. He must have picked up on that because he changed his tone, let the smirk slid off his face and he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Alright, tonight was weird I admit and I never intended to be that obvious about it. But this wasn't the first time I watched you, I've been doing it for a while now. I've been studying you."
"Studying me...OK, like that's any less weird." I wasn't comforted by this statement and if anything it made me move back towards my car door subconsciously. Bobby had been watching me long before tonight? What the hell? I looked up at his face and the expression that was there was one that said he didn't think his actions were odd even if I did. "And why were you doing this?"
"I needed to figure something out about you." He said with no shame, his arms looking strong underneath his black dress shirt that he must have been wearing when he came in as Jeff liked for the wrestlers to look nice when coming in for shows. His hair was down, curling over his collar as he looked at me. "I knew there was something about you that was different and I wanted to know what..."
"There is nothing different about me, you must have gotten your wires crossed or something because I'm just as normal as everyone else." I scoffed, finding his explanation more bizarre the longer it went on. Bobby didn't know what he was talking about, there was nothing that stood out about me except my looks and my last name. And if that was so worthy of his attention then we would have spoken more in the time since I had signed with TNA, but we hadn't. So what has changed about now? I eyed him suspiciously. "What the heck are you getting at? You don't like have a crush on me or something, do you? Because I'm already involved..."
"No, I do not have a crush on you. I'm a happily married man with 3 kids, this is most definitely not about something as trivial as a crush." Bobby told me, his eyes lighting up in such amusement that I felt ridiculous for even bringing it up. After all it sounded so conceited of me to automatically think that but Bobby seemed quite fine with brushing it off as he took control of the conversation again. "This is about something I have been wondering for a while now and I have never been able to confirm it until today."
"Why today?" I shifted back and forth on the balls of my feet, a sudden chill coming over me as I saw he was staring at me with what looked like pity in his eyes.
"The way you were acting, it was obvious you were in a bad mood. But what stood out was was how you reacted and your behaviors, it said something was wrong and it made my previous observation about you come back to me." He looked uncomfortable now as well and I couldn't imagine why that was. He was the one who had called for us to meet and he had the knowledge of where this was going, not me. What right did he have to get uncomfortable? "Your outbursts kind of solidified my suspicions."
"Your suspicions..." Now I was really beginning to feel not right about this. I thought this was going to end up being something stupid that made me want to punch him in the face before going home. But now I was just feeling a flicker of fear, like he was getting close to touching on something I didn't want him to get near. "What are you trying to say?"
"I'm trying to say that I know something is going on with you." He pushed ahead, his face turning even more pitiful and that made the rock of nervousness fall more deeply into my stomach. And then for a reason I couldn't fathom, he reached across the space separating us and placed his hands on my shoulders before I could protest. "Savannah, did something..."
"Bobby, don't." I warned him as strongly as I could which was not strong at all as it suddenly occurred to me what he was going to say and I immediately shook my head to keep him from going there. The second those words were spoken out loud then it was all over. I looked up at him pleadingly. "Bobby I mean it..."
"I know what happened to you." He said quietly, as if somehow decreasing the volume of his voice would make this easier to say but there was no sugarcoating this admission. It was what it was and no change in saying it would make it hurt any less. And I think he knew that because when he spoke again it was in a normal tone to say what I had thought had only been a secret to myself. I guess I was wrong. He looked me straight in the eye and said. "I know you were raped."
A/N: dun dun dun! So it looks like Savannah's secret wasn't as well hidden as she thought. Bobby somehow figured it out,but how does he know? And more importantly, how will Savannah react to this admission? Stay tuned,things start getting really heavy.
please review!
