Disclaimer: I only own the plot.
Silence.
That was the only noise that filled the room that held the almost lifeless body of Hermione Granger. And it was deafening. It was enough to drive any sane person off the wall.
"Excuse me, Mr. Potter," the mediwizard that Harry had yelled at a few hours earlier entered the room. "I'd like to introduce you to Healer Wakefield, he'll be taking over, we'll be turning over Ms. Granger's case to him."
The old man shook Harry's hand but Harry could barely look at him. They had been in Hermione's room only a few minutes and he still had not gotten a hold of his feelings. But he was known for being emotional.
"Mr. Potter," the old man said huskily, "we will take very good care of Ms. Granger."
"Thank you," was all Harry managed.
The two men took his reply as a dismissal and made their way out of the room.
"Wait!" Harry followed them and looked at the mediwizard. "I didn't get your name."
"Kinlan, sir, Simon Kinlan." He responded quietly.
"I just wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. The whole 'Harry-fucking-Potter' it was inexcusable."
"Hardly, Mr. Potter. The wizarding world is no stranger to your story, as well as that of your friends. I feel fortunate to have been of service to you."
"Please call me, Harry." He ran his left hand through his hair. "And again, I truly am sorry."
"We're all hoping she recovers well, Mr. Potter. It is just proving to be quite difficult since we don't know what to expect because we don't know what the spell was. We'll be looking out for her though."
"And we'll be here the whole time." Harry said with finality. "I should go back in. But thank you very much."
"Harry, there is a cafeteria in the basement. And Ms. Granger's room is equipped with a shower."
"Thank you." He nodded and reentered Hermione's room.
Ron looked up at his raven-haired friend. His tired eyes expressed nothing but longing to hear his girlfriend speak again.
"Ginny, Neville, let's go down to the cafeteria." Harry addressed them. The two other people in the room stood up.
"I should probably get back to Mum and the rest." Ginny put her hand on Ron's shoulder. "But just to update them and I'll be back after. I'll get you some clothes as well."
Ron nodded his head and looked at Harry, "Thanks, mate." Knowing that Ron was thanking him for giving him some time alone with Hermione he nodded his head and led the other two out of the room.
Ron lifted his seat to pull it closer to Hermione's bedside. One of the legs of the chair had dragged noisily on the ground making him cringe.
"Sorry about that." He apologized to no one in particular. It was such a familiar response to him. Realizing that he had done it so many times in the Hogwarts Library before, having Hermione reprimand him for making so much unnecessary noise.
He let out a heavy sigh and put his hand on hers and held it tight.
"Please, come back to me." He willed her bringing his head down to where their hands rested placing his lips over her fingers. His eyes traveled up around her sleeping figure. But stopped when he found the small cross pendant that she so frequently wore.
She had explained her religion to him not too long ago. It was a little complex for him granted that she wasn't actually a firm believer.
'It just gives me something to focus on when all else feels hopeless. It's that faith that there's something bigger than us, than all of this that keeps me going and that praying and believing that things, good things, can happen to us will if we just believe and trust and pray hard enough.' He remembered her saying. 'I just need to believe in something more.'
It had sounded ridiculous to him. Attempting to make sense of the complexities of things in their mortal life. But for the first time, he felt absolutely helpless despite the fact that they had fought Voldemort and his army of Death Eaters. In that very moment as he watched her struggled, uneven breathing he felt completely and utterly helpless. In that moment no amount of magic would undo the fact that she was lying in an all white gown, under all white sheets, surrounded by white walls barely alive.
"You can't leave me, Hermione." He said forcefully. "What am I supposed to do now? You always told us what to do next. What happens now? Huh?"
His croaking voice filled the room. And he closed his eyes for a bit and woke-up little after. He looked at his pocket watch to find that he had dozed off for about fifteen minutes, if he remembered the last time he checked it correctly. No change in Hermione as he rubbed his thumb along the back of her hand.
"Hey, uhm." Ron said looking up at the ceiling feeling utterly defeated. "I don't know if you're there or anything but if you can hear me, please give her back to us. Let her be okay. I'll do anything." He decided that bargaining might be a good idea. That's how it worked in their world. "Please. I don't care if I can never be in her life just don't take it away yet. Let her live the long life she deserves. I'll give up anything if you just give her back."
His whimpers come more forcefully and he let out a big, "Please!" Begging was not becoming of him but he was desperate.
He heard the door open behind his and he wiped his tears with his palms, sighed and turned around.
"Ron?" Harry whispered. "Neville decided to go with Ginny. He'll be going to see his grandmother so he asked that we keep him posted. Ron?"
"Yeah, mate?" Ron stood up his hands shaking as he let go of Hermione's.
"Were you talking to someone?" Harry asked.
Ron was a bit embarrassed and he felt his cheeks get warm, "Just…"
Harry could be a little oblivious, a lot oblivious without meaning to be. The bespectacled boy wasn't aware how awkward the situation at hand was.
Ron let out a sigh and shook his head, "Just praying to a god that I don't believe in."
And as if Ron had whispered a curse Hermione's body started convulsing.
"Hermione!" Ron put his hand on her shoulder's to try to stop her movement. White liquid had started leaving her mouth as she shook tremendously.
"Help!" Harry yelled out into the hallway. "Healer Wakefield!"
The two boys were ushered out of the girl's room.
"Bloody-fucking…" Ron stammered. "What the hell is going on?"
Harry could feel the tension coursing through his body as he balled his hands into a fist. He couldn't believe what was happening. Suddenly there were machines entering Hermione's room. Nurses and mediwizards entering left and right and the visitors of other patients on the floor were eyeing their room with pity. He snapped out of it when he caught Ron punching the hospital wall.
"Ron." Harry put his arms around him. He struggled greatly as his best friend was significantly taller and bigger than him. "Ron, snap out of it. Injuring yourself is only make things worse."
"Please." He cried. He was inconsolable. The noise he was making had caused one of the nurses to approach them and insist that they both take a Calming Potion. And like earlier, the two boys sat in front of her room and waited.
"Harry," Healer Wakefield stepped out of Hermione's room about half an hour after they had taken the potion. The two boys stood up abruptly and faced the old man. "She's okay. There was some clotting in her brain but we've fixed that. She also on a few machine monitors now just to keep track of the activity in her body. We can wake her up if you want but it would be best that you let her sleep through the night and let her come around on her own."
"So she's okay?" Ron managed to let out he was breathing heavily and getting flustered. The Calming Potion's effect seemed to have depleted having heard the news.
"We don't know if there is anymore damage. But Ms. Granger is far more stable now. We will know if she's in pain when she wakes up but we have taken the extra precaution of giving her some pain relieving potion." Ron nodded his head and made his way back to his girlfriend's room.
"Thank you, Healer Wakefield. We'll wait for her to come around on her own." Harry put his hand on the healer's shoulder and followed Ron.
"I preferred it when it was deafeningly silent." Ron said monotonously staring at the machines that were connected to the cables and wires that were adorned on the different parts of Hermione's body.
"She looks so tiny." Harry made his way to the other side of the bed where the machines stood.
"I'm just glad she okay." Ron sighed. The two boys took a hand each and stood there. "I'm exhausted, do you mind if I lie with her, Harry?"
"Not at all. I'll take the bench." Harry smiled for the first time since, well, since the situation.
Ron took out his wand to scourgify himself so make sure he was clean enough to lie down with Hermione. He carefully moved her slightly and got squeezed himself into her bed. He wrapped his arm around her. The rhythm of her breaths soothed him. He was at ease knowing that she was okay.
Harry passed out almost immediately. But Ron knew he was sleeping lightly. Ron shifted a little as he prepared himself to let sleep take him. He looked up at the ceiling and whispered, "Thank you."
Ron woke up feeling Hermione stirring in her sleep. He quickly got out of the bed to wake Harry up knowing that his friend deserved to be awake when she finally came around.
"Harry, I think she's waking up." Ron nudged his friend. Harry looked up with sleepy eyes, quickly putting his glasses on.
The two boys watched her stir. Ron put his hand over hers and whispered, "Hermione, wake up."
Her eyes fluttered open. She looked startled. Her pupils moving around as she took in her surroundings. "Where am I?" Her voice was hoarse.
"Hermione, we're in St. Mungo's." Ron told her.
She looked up at the boy who spoke her eyes filled with fear, "Who are you?"
"Hermione," Ron acknowledged her as she entered their common room.
"Ron," She pursed her lips and looked at him.
"I'm really sorry, Hermione." He put his head down in shame.
"It's almost supper time. I'm going to wash up and come down. Let's walk to the Great Hall together?" She smiled softly. Ron was definitely a dear friend to her. She knew he was helping her heal. Her heart ached for him knowing that she meant so much more. But she truly was trying; it was not difficult for her to feel love for him. It was not the love he wanted from her though. Hermione didn't feel that she was ready for romance given the fact that she was still healing.
Healer Wakefield had insisted that she move on with her life and continue living not pausing to force her memories to come back. She had formed many new memories with those who were closest to her but she still felt the pressure from the longing looks they gave her.
"I'd really like that, Hermione." Ron offered her a goofy half-smile.
She made her way up the stairs towards her common room. She felt a certain lightness fill her. She smiled at the other students who were on their way down.
"Hermione," Parvati Patil smiled as the brunette made her way into their room.
"Hi Parvati. I like what you did to your hair." She smiled noticing that her roommate was hard at work in front of the mirror.
"Thank you. It's called a fishtail braid." She smiled and continued braiding.
Hermione sat on her bed as she looked through her list of things to do. If one looked at Hermione's study and reading habits they wouldn't know she was suffering from amnesia. Hermione didn't think she was suffering from it, she felt that the people around her were suffering because of her amnesia.
"Want me to do your hair" Parvati offered.
Hermione looked at her list to make sure she had completed everything. Knowing that she could do some advanced reading and research in the library after dinner she replied, "You wouldn't mind? It's going to be difficult." She said as she put her hand on her hair.
"Not at all. I have just the style I want in mind for you." Parvati replied enthusiastically as she tied the tip of her braid.
Hermione jumped off her bed and made her way to Parvati's dresser. Parvati started by putting her hair in a half ponytail. She then preceded the hair she parted and braided it.
"There you are, Hermione!" Ginny said as she walked into the room.
"Hello!" She smiled gleefully as Parvati's practiced hands finished her work.
"There!" Parvati put her hand on Hermione's shoulders. "Lovely."
"Thank you." Hermione smiled. "It is lovely." She said motioning toward the braids.
"Let's go for supper?" Ginny asked.
"I told Ron I would walk with him."
The two other Gryffindors gave her a knowing smile but turned around and made their way out.
Hermione went to the bathroom to freshen up before going down to meet with Ron.
"Nice hair." Ron put his hand on her braid. It felt a little off to Hermione so she simply offered him an awkward smile. The two friends made their way to the Great Hall earning whispers here and there.
Hermione studied the Great Hall. They were doubled up on first years because Headmistress McGonagall had decided that it was in the best interest of all the students to repeat the year that they missed due to the circumstances of the war.
Hermione mentally calculated the number of students to average to see if there were really that many first years. She came to the conclusion that they were actually of average size as a batch but were significantly more that the fifth, sixth and seventh years due to the fact that many of the students were lost in the battle. It also evened out due to the fact that many potential first years did not go to Hogwarts and opted to go to the other wizarding institutions. All in all based on the information Hermione got from Hogwarts: A History the number of students currently studying in the old school was only slightly above average.
Hermione took her seat between Harry and Ron and rested her chin on her hand while waiting for the meal to begin.
"Good evening, students." Professor McGonagall's voice filled the hall and everyone turned to listen attentively. "Before we start the feast today, I'd like to acknowledge the mark of the 6th month since the Second War. And as such I have asked a student to speak of the losses occurred."
Whispers filled the room as the students 'realization of the date.
"It's November 2?" Ron asked clearly calculating the dates in his head.
Hermione's eyes did not leave the podium as she watched the figure walk up the stage. It was the boy she had spoken to earlier, "Draco Malfoy." She whispered.
"Good evening," Draco spoke, "I'm sure most of you are wondering why I am here as I clearly do not deserve to be here."
"No shit, Sherlock." Mumbled Seamus Finnegan who sat across from Hermione. She shot him an annoyed look but turned to continue to listen to Draco.
"I honestly did not have any idea as to what I could or should say to you all but feel that despite where I stood during the battle, we all shared one thing in common." He took a deep breath, "Losses."
"So not the same thing." Parvati shook her head.
"I know what you're thinking. It's not the same thing but I do hope you find the same comfort that I found after reading this poetry." He cleared his throat and unraveled a piece of parchment.
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
Draco's eyes looked around the hall. First at his own house table and then to the others.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
This time Hermione noticed that he did not look up from the piece of paper.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
He looked in the direction of the Gryffindor table as if searching for someone. When his eyes settled on Hermione she did not dare look away.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
A/N: The poem that Draco recited is by Mary Elizabeth Frye. I wanted to address the mourning period that the school was going through because it didn't seem right to think that they all just moved on with their lives. I also wanted to keep Draco in character but I'm a little worried he come on as a little too soft when he read the poem.
And for this chapter I did not get to proofread very well so I'm positive their are errors here and there. Hope its not so bad.