Road Construction

Pepper was pissed.

Tony was a genius, but he didn't need to be to see that. Even Happy seemed to know it.

For some reason or another, traffic was absolutely terrible. It was a beautiful day in the state of Ohio, but the road that Happy had chosen seemed to be the absolute worst. It was so terrible that Pepper had had to reschedule roughly five meetings three times each in the past two and a half hours. Happy had been listening to the radio and found no cause as to why all the cars were creeping at a snail's pace, and Pepper was currently scanning the internet on her hand-held computer, fussing all the while.

When Pepper got downright angry, she was calm, quiet, and lethal. But when she got pissed off – more than irritated, but less than angry – she ranted. The absolutely random things that she said never failed to make Tony laugh so hard that his sides hurt. Her cheeks got flushed enough to hide her freckles, her slim brows knotted together, and her mouth twisted itself into a scowl that somehow managed to maintain her signature professionalism.

But as much as Tony wanted to laugh, he knew that he shouldn't. Outright laughter would result in her irritation being directed at him, which would result in laughing harder, which would result in the silent treatment for three to five business days. It was never fun when Pepper was mad at him, but Tony was starting to wonder if he might want to risk it. Holding in his laughter was starting to hurt.

"You did this on purpose," she was saying, pinning Tony with an accusing glare. "I didn't have to come, but you had to make me!"

"I convinced you," he said as calmly as he could manage. "That's hardly the same thing, Potts."

She cut her eyes at him and Tony pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. "You think this is funny, don't you?" she challenged. "Road construction is not funny! How often do you see road crews actually working, anyway? A few hours at the crack of dawn? Maybe?! And I'll bet they think they work themselves to death! Dangerous heat conditions of sixty-eight and above, dangerous chill conditions of sixty-eight and below. They work in blizzards as fierce as anything in excess of two snowflakes or raindrops within any twenty four hour period, but I'm sure they draw the line at working through something as dangerous as a tornado being sighted anywhere in the U.S. And, of course, I can understand that they have to have off on all the major holidays: Halloween, Grandparent's Day, Bacteria Week, The Annual Rutabaga Festival…"

Tony took a deep breath and blinked hard. Where the hell did she come up with this stuff?! Why was it even funny? Perhaps it was because the Pepper he knew was always so composed, always so in control. But she'd had a bad week. That's why Tony had convinced her to come in the first place. What could be more fun than spending a few days with him in a place as harmless as Ohio?

Anything, apparently. He was starting to wonder if maybe he should've just let her have a few days off back home.

"There are currently eleven construction projects in the state of Ohio," she continued as she glared at the screen of the computer. "Four roads are closed with no reason given. I'm sure that's because there is no reason. Two are closed permanently – again, for no reason. Four-oh-five was closed two days ago, which means that it was closed specifically to mess with our commute… One-seventy will probably be closed until my best friend dies and I have no reason to use that road to visit him anymore..."

"They don't call you Pepper just for the freckles, do they?" Tony muttered. "You've got a lot of spice."

She ignored him as she closed the computer with a distinct snap and scowled out the window. "This one is closed until 2012, that one is closed until 2016, and – I'm not even kidding – I-75 is closed because they're making a new six-lane highway between Cincinnati and Touchdown Jesus."

At that exact moment, Tony had tried taking a swig of water in hopes that it might calm him down. But her last comment and the malice in her voice had done him in. Spitting and spilling water everywhere, Tony held his stomach as he howled in laughter.

My father really feels this way about road crews. Most of what Pepper said was what I listened to for a good forty-five minutes as we crawled down 494 at a snail's pace today. -.-;

Some inspiration also came from 'Toothpaste for Dinner.'