Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji or its characters. But pretty soon I will own some boots like Sebastian's! So I can walk around the house humming London Bridge when my family is out. *isn't possessed by demons* heh.

So many reviews last chapter! Thank you all so much, it brightens my day and I do heel clicks in celebration. I really do. Sad? A little.

Same applies to faves, alerts and suggestions, like the one I got from kitsuneluvah.

But enough of this dilly dallying.

Thank you in advance for reading! I hope you enjoy.

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News of a caged demon had spread through all of England, and was rapidly making its way around the world. The majority were in disbelief, fascinated that such a creature actually existed. Thousands upon thousands rushed to confession, not wanting to end up spending eternity with such a fearsome being. Equal numbers just wanted to get a peek at the legendary monster who had revealed himself to the world, and traveled to the London Zoo to have this once- in- who- knows -how- long experience. Most visitors didn't bother the demon; they were too entranced and often petrified to do anything to disturb the creature. However, there are those who did so quite unintentionally.

"Wow! Look at the birdie! Hi mister birdie!"

"Would you stop playing with that bird so we can go see the demon? This is boring!"

"I'm so excited to see it!"

"Ho ho ho."

Like millions of others, the Phantomhive servants also took interest in the captive demon. At least two of them did; Finni seemed to care more about the common-looking birds in the aviary.

"But there's so many other animals we haven't seen yet!" protested the gardener.

"We'll see them later. The demon's only here for a month."

"But... don't you want to see anything else first?"

Bard laughed at his friend.

"You're not scared are you?" he mocked.

"No... I'm not scared... I just like smaller, gentler animals... and aren't demons mean?"

"Scaredy cat."

"I'm not a scaredy cat!"

"I hope it's super scary!" declared Maylene.

"Don't say that!"

"Ha! So you are scared!" accused Bard.

"Ho ho ho."

"I'm not scared!"

"Then let's go right now."

"But... I want to see the birds more..."

Bard sighed and shook his head.

"Well, I'm going to see the demon. You can stay here with your birds if you're too scared."

"I'm not... wait! I'm not scared! I'm not!"

Finni followed Bard towards the demon exhibit without realizing it, trying to get him to listen.

"I'm not afraid of..."

They had reached the window, and Finnian froze.

Bard froze.

Maylene froze.

Tanaka sipped his tea.

The three servants gawked at the creature, with jaws dropped as low as physically possible. Before them lay a winged monster, draped in the darkness of shadow, evil emanating from its being. A quiet glow of smoldering ash reflected off the dark feathers, which were wrapped gently around the slim body.

"Aww, damn it! Why are all the animals sleeping?" complained the disappointed chef. "Every time we come here, they're asleep!"

"Oh well, let's go back to the aviary." suggested Finni.

"Look, he's moving!" shouted Maylene.

The other two became instantly quiet and focused on the sleeping creature. He shifted around uncomfortably in his slumber several times before finding a comfortable position. This change revealed two spiked heel boots, which confused the trio immensely.

"Is it a girl then?"

"The sign says it's male."

"That's weird."

For several minutes they debated why a male demon would wear stiletto heels, but a pained and surprisingly human groan made them remember that the demon was more than just a pair of boots. They hadn't even looked at the creature's face yet.

Three heads tilted to the side and six eyes squinted to get a better view.

"Do either of you think it looks a little bit like..."

"It might just be the lighting, but that demon looks a lot like..."

"Why does that demon look like..."

"Mr. Sebastian!" they hollered in unison.

The demon resembled their butler too closely for it to be coincidence. There was absolutely no denying it:

"So... Sebastian's a..."

"Ahhhh!" screamed Maylene as her nose began to bleed. She loved scary stories and she (not so) secretly loved Sebastian. A combination of the two was too much for her nose to handle.

"Does this mean... what should we do?" worried Finni.

"I wonder if bochan knows." said Bard.

"If he doesn't, this could be very bad!"

"I don't think Sebastian would do anything bad to bochan."

"But it's not right to trick him!"

"It's okay. Sebastian seems like a friendly demon." said Maylene through her tissue.

"What does that have to with with anything?" asked the chef.

"If Sebastian's really a woman, then he... or she, is lying to bochan." said Finni.

"A woman? Who said that?"

"He wears women's boots, so he must be!"

"I thought we agreed that those had to make him gay."

"Well, they might make him happy but..."

"No, I mean the other type."

"What other type?" Finni asked with innocent eyes.

"It doesn't matter because it's not true!" argued the maid.

"Maylene, you have to admit... he likes baking a little too much."

"You're a chef!"

"That's not the same! I don't bake, I make artful explosions!

"My mother used to bake for me when I was little. So he must be a woman, right?" concluded Finni.

"Sebastian's baking is manly!"

"To impress the other guys I bet. You know, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." teased the chef.

"It's not true! Sebastian can't be like that!"

"Do you have any evidence the other way?"

"Umm...well...uhh" Maylene struggled, "...umm...I know! The cat in the back garden who Sebastian likes is a girl! Ha!"

"So... you think he's into cats?"

"Sebastian loves cats!" Finni helpfully pointed out.

"He loves a girl cat." argued Maylene.

"His taste in cats probably doesn't reflect his taste in lovers." Bard counterattacked.

"Sebastian has a girlfriend?" asked Finni, officially confused.

"NOOOO!" screeched Maylene.

"It's pretty obvious from those boots that he doesn't swing that way."

"Huh?"

"It means he likes men, Finni."

"But... he yells at us just as much as Maylene."

"He likes to date men."

"Then he is a girl after all?"

Bard face-palmed and debated the best way to explain this to the naïve young man. Fortunately for all parties (especially Maylene, who on top of her massive blood loss was also experiencing panic issues) their conversation was interrupted.

"Don't you know it is rude to talk about someone behind their back? Honestly, such horrid behavior."

"Mr. Sebastian!" the trio screamed as they turned around to see the now wide awake demon against the glass panel. The voice was unmistakable, and their suspicions were confirmed; the demon was indeed Sebastian.

"Each of you know that speaking poorly of your superiors is terribly improper, and since none of you know how to keep your voices down, it will also result in punishment. Although that punishment is child's play compared to the punishment for leaving the mansion unattended while the master is away." he lectured, not hiding the fact that he was furious with the servants.

"We're sorry Sebastian!"

"We just wanted to see a real demon!"

"Please don't eat us."

"Don't be ridiculous." he scoffed "I wouldn't eat you."

Sebastian paced back and forth in front of the glass, keeping eye contact with the three terrified servants.

"There are many worse things I could do, and since you seem so interested in demons, why don't I teach you about how demons are punished? Would you like that?" They could tell it was rhetorical, though if it wasn't they likely wouldn't be able to answer. "Flogging, whipping, caning, and other human methods are sometimes used for minor offenses. But there are other punishments we use; acts that go beyond the human imagination."

"Please Sebastian! We're so so sorry!"

"We'll never do it again! We promise!"

"Please don't kill us!"

"I never said anything about killing you, but since you are genuinely sorry I won't torture you. However there is the question of whether or not I should tell the young master..."

"Please don't tell bochan! He's scary too!"

"He will kill us!"

"I'll take the torture!"

Sebastian stopped in the middle of the trio and glared.

"Are you speaking ill of the young master?"

"No!" they all screamed in horror.

"I might have to tell him after all. Your behavior is atrocious!"

"Please Sebastian! We won't leave the mansion ever again without your permission!"

"Never!"

"You're lucky I'm feeling generous today. You three have 10 seconds to get out of my sight and I won't tell bochan that you were here. By the way, these boots are the highest fashion in Hell, and they are unisex. Now get out of here before I change my mind!"

The trio ran off hollering before Sebastian even thought to start counting down. He was extremely annoyed and angry with those three, but scaring them had been fun nevertheless. Maybe he would keep their memories as they were so that they would try harder not to mess everything up. He smiled at the idea of competent help.

"Ho ho ho" came a sound from below the glass. Sebastian peered over to see a very short, very old man drinking tea in front of his cage. It was one servant he was happy to see.

"Good afternoon Tanaka." he said, bowing his head respectfully. He turned his gaze back to the miniature house steward, sighed and sat down with his temple against the glass.

"So tell me, what's the damage?"

"Ho ho ho" lamented Tanaka.

Sebastian nodded gravely as the retired butler filled him in on the destruction of the house. The news was shocking.

"Nothing's wrong? How can nothing be wrong?"

"Ho ho ho."

"I... oh dear, I fear I have been too harsh."

"Ho ho ho."

"Do you really think so? Even though they left the manor and spoke poorly of myself and the young master?"

"Ho ho ho."

"Sound advice as usual, Tanaka. As is expected from a Phantomhive butler."

"Ho ho ho."

"Tanakaaaaaa!" came a screech. "We're sorry we forgot you Tanaka!"

The three servants came racing back to retrieve their comrade.

"We're sorry for coming back Sebastian! But we had to get Tanaka! Please don't be angry."

"I'm not. In fact, if what Tanaka tells me is true I am genuinely impressed."

"What?"

"You have yet to destroy the house, so I suppose I should reward you for your efforts."

"Can I get a new flamethrower?" yelled Bard.

"... I know I'm going to regret this. But yes, you may."

"Yes!"

"Oh! Oh! Mr. Sebastian! Can I make the garden into a robot? A big transforming robot!"

"... well, not the entire thing... I will designate an area for you..."

"Thank you Mr. Sebastian!"

"Maylene?" he asked in a seductive voice, "What would you like?"

"I um... uhh... gwaahh!"

"Speak up, I can't understand you."

"I... I don't know! I... can't... gwaa! No more lecherous thoughts!"

"Lecherous?"

"What? I didn't say that! Did I say that?"

"You know Maylene, demons are quite lecherous in nature." he whispered before turning around and grasping a pole in the center of his cage.

The remainder of the evening was filled with blood and screaming. Maylene was never so happy in her life.

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"This one goes in a straight line."

"NO! An L shape! This one goes in an L shape!"

"That's too confusing."

"No it's not! You just won't listen long enough to learn the rules!"

"Chess is hard! We should play something more fun Ciel!" Soma whined. "But not hide-and-seek. You're a bad seeker and if you hide I'll never find you because you're so tiny."

"I'm not that short! I'm the normal height for my age!"

"But to me you're still chibi." said the prince, indicating a short height with his hand.

"That's it! I've had enough of you! Leave my room immediately!"

"But Ciel, you promised to play with me!"

"I tried to but you won't pay attention!"

"Let's play another game."

"No."

"I learned this game from Elizabeth the other day. What was it called... Miss Black Buttons or something."

"Miss Mary Mack." Ciel corrected him.

"You know it?"

"Unfortunately"

"Let's play it." requested the prince, kneeling on the floor beside the ornate chess table.

"No."

"Come on Ciel! It's so much fun!"

"No it's not! I refuse to play such childish games."

"But Ciel! It's so much fun! Just one time, please?"

"And then what?"

"Then we can play whatever you want."

"Anything?"

"Anything at all."

"Fine then. One game." agreed the young earl reluctantly as he joined his housemate on the floor.

"Ready?"

"Sure."

"Okay!"

They sang in unison as they crossed their arms and prepared to clap hands.

"Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack

All dressed in black black black..."

"With silver buttons buttons buttons..."

"She had a knife knife knife

Stuck in her back back back..."

"Ciel! Those aren't the right words!"

"That's the version I like."

"I don't like it! It's too scary!"

"Then we don't have to play."

"But Ciel, you agreed to play with me once!"

"You didn't specify which version. I like this one."

"But I don't like it!"

"Then we won't play."

"Ciel! Please! We don't have to play anything after!"

"Fine. I'll sing your version. Just once."

"But you have to have a penalty for messing up."

"What?"

"We have to sing both verses."

"Tch. Fine."

"Okay. No singing the scary one this time, or you'll have to teach me chess again!"

"Fine. Just start."

Once again, they crossed their arms.

"Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack

All dressed in black black black..."

"Prince Soma." interrupted Agni, who had just appeared in the doorway. "As much as I dislike to cut your fun short, it is getting close to bedtime for the both of you."

"I have to finish my shipping records." opposed Ciel.

"I am dreadfully sorry, Master Ciel, but I can not allow you to stay up late any longer. Sebastian sent me instructions in the mail regarding your regular schedules and I must abide by them. I understand that your business is important, but your health is much more so. If you became sleep deprived and ill due to my own carelessness, Sebastian would be very disappointed in me."

"Tch." Ciel knew there was no way of changing Agni's mind, and therefore no point in arguing. He got up and walked out of the room, silently pondering why butlers were so obsessed with giving him a bedtime. Even Tanaka mentioned it from time to time.

"Remember Ciel! If you sleep, you'll get taller!" called Soma as he was escorted to his room. Ciel growled under his breath. He was average height!

Several minutes later, he was all dressed in his nightclothes and tucked into bed when he realized that it still wasn't dark outside. Upon looking at the clock, he learned it was only 8:30.

Even from miles away, Sebastian was still managing to mess with him.

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It's a conspiracy!*knowing glance* I'm on to you, butlers.

Okay, enough of that, you must think I'm crazy...er.

So once again, as usual, thank you to everyone who faved, alerted, reviewed and read. And also a special thank you to kitsuneluvah for the suggestion (servants go to visit Sebastian). I hope I didn't butcher your idea, and if I did, I'm very sorry.

By the way, the version of Miss Mary Mack that Ciel sings in this is real. It's terribly creepy.

For reviews this time, you get Poptarts! Any flavor you want! Even imaginary ones! Please review. Concrit is great, but no flames please.

Ideas and suggestions welcome! I love them! Double Poptarts for those!

Sorry for the long AN and Thank you so much for reading!