How to survive three weeks with England by Värmland
After three weeks with France (or two and a half, I couldn't stand being there longer) it was an appreciated break to stay with England. But even here you may need some advice.
1. Food.
1.1 Don't eat his cooking. This rule shouldn't need an explanation.
1.1 For your own safely, you will have to do all the cooking.
1.2 Admittedly, English food is okay but England himself is just a bad cook. (I think it is caused by the fact that he is always stressed. No one can cook when they are stressed.)
1.3 If you find that he has cooked dinner for you both my only advice is to think positive. Like, 'at least the hospital is just down the road' and 'at least it's not some of Iceland´s traditional food. (He has some weird stuff.)
2. Fairies, unicorns and Flying Mint Bunny.
2.1 Flying Mint Bunny has a thing for waking people up in the morning so don't be surprised if you suddenly find yourself with a missing pillow, or being waked up by a bucket with water.
2.2 The fairies like playing prank on others from time to time, I advise you to stay away from them when they are in that mood. (It´s no fun being the victim for their pranks.)
2.3 England have a lot of work to do (he has to do Scotland's, Wales and Northern Irelands work as well as his own) and won't be home to often. In this case the fairies are excellent company,
2.4 Sometimes a unicorn might visit the house and he take a lot of room so be careful.
2.5 Don't make the unicorn angry, unless you want to get his horn through the heart.
2.6 And last 'I don't care if you think they are not real because they are.
3. 4 of July (if you just happen to have the misfortune to be there during this day).
3.1 Don't mention America.
3.2 Or anything related to him, especially the American war for independence.
3.3 Words like 'independence', 'hero' and 'Virginia' (or any other of the states) are best to be avoided.
3.4 Keep out of England's way and see to it that he has enough alcohol.
3.5 But see so that he doesn't kill himself (you can never know what kind of trouble he gotten himself in when he is drunk).
4. England´s magic.
4.1 Avoid the basement. (He has all kinds of dangerous magical stuff down there.)
4.2 If one of his spells goes wrong (which happens mare often then it should because of one reason or another) you will probably be forced to help him cleaning up whatever mess the spell has made.
4.3 As for the kins of messes, if I would write that down the list would be too long. I might make a list about that later. Maybe.
5. The storage room.
5.1 The storage room is on the second floor, in the end of the corridor in the right corner.
5.2 The room is of limits. England hates when people are looking through his old stuff.
End of list