Beautiful-Liar13: You'll see. Thanks for the review.
CeliaEquus: The same thing to you: You'll see. Thanks.
Her Royal Goddess: Thanks, I think he's pretty edible myself. Your questions are mostly answered, but read the footnote at the end of the chapter, just for you.
Alan's Only: I thought it was a bit much a bit too fast myself, but he's greatly changed since the war. Still a bit snarky towards his students, but his already civil relationship toward Hermione will be explained a bit later. Thanks for the review.
2Angelwings: Thanks. ^_^ I love Remus, as well, but Tonks is my favorite character. Here's what happens next, so I'll thank you for your review and leave you alone so you can read it.
LadySnape88: Thank you for teaching me a new adjective. I actually had to look up "Bobbitt" because it was a little bit before my time, haha. Thanks for the review!
Catysmom: Thanks for the review, here you go.
I'd like to thank all of my reviewers. You rock. Same with the people that have me on their alert list in some way. Alright, alright, I'll be quiet now, so here's the next installment.
Chapter 4 – The Downfall of Us All
DISCLAIMER: If you recognize it, it's probably not mine.
"You won't find me in the same spot, believe me... ...I'm not coming back." - A Day to Remember
"Thank you for escorting me home. I didn't know if Ronald would be waiting here or not. Would you like to stay for a bit?" Hermione asked. Without an agenda, Severus accepted and followed her from her gate to the front door.
Severus Snape took in the small white porch of Hermione Weasley's house. He noted two chairs and a small table with a potted Fire Lily sitting in between them. Behind the railing a knobbly little creature he recognized as a gnome peek out from a fragrant azalea bush. He was considering point out the gnome to Hermione, when she distracted him by opening the door and guided him inside by the arm.
In a petite, pale foyer, he noted that Ron must have already left with his belongings, as on the coat rack hung only feminine coats that had to belong to Hermione. He slid off his shoes and placed them next to Hermione's black loafers, then followed her into her kitchen.
"You've quite a lovely home, Hermione. I take it your future ex-husband has already departed?"
"Thank you, Severus," she smiled, "I assume so, because I told him before I left that he had best be gone before I returned, or I'd hex off a lot more than just his bits," she said, then caught her slip and blushed a lovely shade of rose.
Severus was a bit confused. "You hexed off his bits?" Hermione blushed harder.
"Yes, his bits. You know, his manly bits, his -" Severus cut her off.
"Hermione, I know what bits are. I'm just amazed that you hexed them off. What on earth did he do to deserve that?"
"He insulted me, tried to assault me, and admitted to cheating on me and impregnating another woman. I thought it was an appropriate punishment," she said. ffgSeverus inwardly shuddered.
"Remind me never to piss you off," he muttered under his breath. She smiled.
"I highly doubt you'll ever do anything to me to deserve that."
He pondered this statement for a moment, then started considering the functions of said bits. "Is that spell permanent?" he asked aloud. She grinned evilly and he suppressed another shudder. "Should I take that as a 'yes'?" Her smile grew wider, if that was possible.
"Of course not, Severus," she said cheekily. "He simply has to pick up a book to find the counter-curse. Otherwise, he'll be stuck with spells to relieve himself. Either way, I'm forcing him to read." This struck Severus' curiosity.
"Where exactly would one have to look to find the counter-curse for this spell?" He asked. She hid her snicker behind a cough and tried to keep a straight face.
"In the Self-Help section under Romance. There is a handy little book called I Got Caught Cheating." Her twinkling eyes told him that there was more to the story.
"What aren't you telling me?" he asked, his spy's intuition latching on to the twinkle in her eyes.
"The book can only be read by the owner after validation of purchase. Deception charms won't work on it at all, so every person he passes in the bookstore will know he cheated, and it has a curse on it that forces him to carry the book everywhere he goes for one week," she responded.
His curiosity peaked. "And pray tell, exactly why do you know about the existence of this book?" he questioned. She smiled once more.
"That's easy: I wrote it. It was a... gift... for one of my coworker's spouses at the Department of Mysteries." At the look on his face, she burst out laughing. Recovering from his shock, he joined her, and together the two professors began to imagine the looks Ronald would receive if he bought the book.
"Just imagine the reaction of Molly Weasley!" Severus jibbed. As if summoned at the mention of her name, the kitchen door burst open to reveal the irate redhead matron.
"HERMIONE JANE GRANGER-WEASLEY, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Severus lowered his wand which he had snapped to a dueling stance when the door had opened. Some habits never die.
Hermione, however, petrified Molly with an apologetic glance.
"Ah, Molly, I haven't had the opportunity to owl you yet. I'm going to unpetrify you, and you are going to calmly have a seat, and not raise your voice at me ever again. Blink your eyes twice if you understand me." Molly stopped glaring long enough to slowly blink twice, and Hermione released the spell. The elder woman continued to glare but sat down with a huff in the nearest chair. She opened her mouth, only to be halted by Severus not a second later.
"Now Mrs. Weasley, I'd rather not employ a silencing charm on you, so please remain quiet and allow Hermione to explain herself." Molly, who had been too focused on Hermione to notice Severus Snape started, but nodded her acquiescence.
Hermione carefully summoned her pensive, then placed all the memories within it inside a bottle from the counter. Removing the memories from earlier, she placed the silvery strands into the thick liquid. She eyed Molly carefully.
"I'm going to allow you to view these memories, and you will understand I find myself completely justified in my actions." She spelled the pensive to display outwardly like a muggle cinema projection so that Severus could see them as well, although she secretly wanted to watch them again anyway, just for her own entertainment.
Severus was flabbergasted by the harsh words and crude actions of Ron Weasley towards his once beloved Hermione, but hid his astonishment well behind his best poker face. Molly, however, was gaping openly as each scene played out before her, then as the memory ended, her face filled with shame over her youngest son's actions. She looked at Hermione apologetically.
"Hermione, dear, I'm so sorry. He best not be expecting any more help from me. He's brought this upon himself, and he can get himself out of it." Hermione smiled.
"Thank you, Molly; If you will, show this memory to the rest of your family so that they understand and don't come through here blowing my door off its hinges." Molly reddened in embarrassment.
"My apologies dear. If you will make a copy for me, I'll be sure to show Arthur and the boys. I can't believe he's disgraced himself and his family like this. I believed I had raised him better than that, and for him to father a child with a woman other than his wife - I don't have words to tell you how I feel right now. I'm assuming you would like to tell Ginny and Harry yourself?" Hermione nodded, then tapped the memory with her wand.
"Yes, I've got to share some news with them, as well. I've taken the post of Charms professor at Hogwarts, which is why Severus is here. He escorted me home from the job interview." Molly looked at the Potions professor, then back at Hermione.
"I'm sorry for intruding. I'll be leaving now. Congratulations on your new job, Hermione. You'll always be my daughter, you know. Severus, lovely to see you again despite the circumstance. You simply must join us for dinner one night." She nodded at both, accepted the vial containing Hermione's copied memory, then after a second of hesitation, crushed the brunette against her bosom while she shot a quick Reparo at the backdoor. As soon as the door had snapped back into place, she smiled sadly at Hermione one last time before disapparating with a sharp crack.
"Well, that was unexpected," Severus stated dryly. He shared a look with Hermione, before they simultaneously burst into laughter. Hermione nodded in agreement, then considered her companion for a moment.
"Severus, would you mind helping me pack? I think I should go ahead and move to Hogwarts, lest someone else come here and break down my door. I've had as much social interaction, I think, as I am able to stomach today." The tall man accepted with a nod, then went about helping Hermione summon her possessions and shrink them down to fit in the Tupperware from the kitchen. Placing the containers into Hermione's beaded bag, they swept through the house with quick cleaning spells, placed several wards on the property, and moved back onto the front porch.
Picking up the Fire Lily, Hermione held it while Severus shrunk the table and chairs and stuck them into her bag. He looked at her questioningly.
"What are you going to do with the house?," he wondered aloud, the house seeming almost imposing now that it was devoid of any trace of one of the former Golden Couples.
"I'll sell it," Hermione responded after a beat, "I have no need of it, the last year was one of the worst years of my life since the war, and I don't want the memories of my marriage to that bastard." Severus internally fliched at the realization of how badly Weasley had hurt the formidable witch beside him, but kept his face free of emotion.
"Understandably so. Shall we?" He asked, watching Hermione pick up Crookshanks who had wandered back to the porch from his afternoon's stroll and place him safely into his carrier. Hermione glanced around one last time then nodded.
"We shall," she said, and with that, they apparated to the gate of Hogwarts.
Her Royal Goddess: The reason Hermione didn't get into trouble with the MoM is because she designed the spell, and is licensed to use it.
Anyway, here's another one done. I've kept a steady churn out of one-a-day, so I'm quite proud of myself. God bless - Rei.