"Crap!" Paige hissed as she tripped over one of Hanna's shoes. She wasn't used to sharing a room with anyone and she'd forgotten to look where she was going as she climbed out of bed.
"What's going on?" Emily grumbled as she sat up in bed and rubbed at her eyes. It was early, even for her, and the cabin was practically in total darkness.
"Nothing, just go back to sleep." Paige muttered as she finished pulling her T-shirt on over her head, her back to the other girl.
"What are you doing?" Emily frowned and turned on her lamp, casting a soft glow of light across the room and illuminating Paige as she tied the laces of her sneakers. She wasn't exactly a morning person and she was still upset with the other girl because of how she'd acted the night before.
"I'm meeting Cade for a run. We do it every morning."
"It's not morning, it's still dark." Emily huffed as she lay back down and pulled the hood of Paige's sweater up over her head.
"It's a great way to start the day." Paige objected, sounding like a commercial for a breakfast cereal. "Hey, have you seen my sweater? The Penn State one you left on my bed-" she trailed off as she caught sight of the pale blue hood over Emily's head.
"Sorry. I was cold last night." Emily mumbled as she sat up and pulled the hoodie over her head, offering it out to the other girl.
"It's fine." Paige tried to refuse it but Emily insisted.
"Take it, it's cold out...and it's yours."
"Fine." The other girl pulled the sweater on over her head. It was still warm from Emily wearing it to bed and her scent was clinging to the fabric. She turned her back on Emily, biting back a smile as she walked over to her bed and picked up her blanket. "I'll trade you." She draped it over Emily to help keep her warm. The other girl mumbled her appreciation but she was already halfway back to sleep. Paige slipped quietly out of the cabin, making sure to avoid any more of Hanna's stuff, and made her way over to meet Cadence down by the lake.
The blonde was waiting for her, wearing a sweater and some track pants to stave off the cold. The morning air definitely had a chill to it and there was a blanket of fog lying low to the ground. "Late again McCullers?" She teased as she stamped her feet on the ground to warm up.
"Yeah, sorry." Paige apologised, giving in far too easily for the other girl's liking.
"Did Paige McCullers just apologise? Is the world ending?"
"Funny. I'm just tired, ok?" Paige huffed as she pulled her hood up.
"Want to give the run a miss?" Cadence offered. "I can miss out on beating you for one day."
"Not a chance!" Paige took off towards the trail, laughing as the other girl called after her.
"Not fair McCullers!"
Paige was giving it her all as she pounded through the woods, trying to clear her head. Her lungs were aching and her muscles were burning, lactic acid quickly building up in them as she pushed herself too far and too fast. She heard Cadence calling out to her as she tried to catch up, but she didn't wait for her. She kept pushing and pushing until her legs finally gave way and she collapsed on to her knees, gasping for breath. "OK, what the hell is going on with you?" Cade snapped as she dropped down beside her.
"I'm gay." Paige hadn't meant to say it, but the words just tumbled out of her mouth and once they started she couldn't stop them.
"And I'm in love with Emily; but it doesn't matter because I screwed everything up!" She held her head in her hands as she fought back a wave of tears. Cadence had gone silent beside her and for a second Paige froze. She had come out to Emily, her parents and a few people at school; but she hadn't thought to tell Cade or any of the others from camp. The other girl was in college and Paige was pretty sure she was open minded, but as she sat there waiting for her to say something in response she started to fill up with doubt.
"Tell me something I don't know." Cadence smiled wryly at the younger girl, vanquishing her fear in an instant as she slung an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug. "The way you look at her when you think nobody's watching…Hell McCullers, you're either in love with her or you want to wear her skin as a coat. Being in love with a girl, that doesn't change who you are. Not to me... So does Emily know how you feel?" Not wanting to get in to the ins and outs of their on-off relationship Paige just nodded.
"That kind of sucks, she seems to be ok with you. Straight girls can be weird about that kind of thing, trust me."
"Emily's not-" Paige started and then something in her brain clicked. "Wait, are you-"
"I'm open to love." Cadence replied cryptically with a wink. "In whatever form it takes. It's not about gender, or colour, or age, or any of that crap. Love is love."
"Well thanks for that Dr. Phil." Paige rolled her eyes at the other girl sarcastically. She knew Cadence had picked up Emily wrong, presuming the other girl was straight, but she didn't correct her. It was Emily's choice who she told about her sexuality and Paige knew the importance of that choice more than most. It had taken a lot for her to tell her parents she was gay, and in the end she had done it for herself; not for Emily. "Come on, let's head back for some breakfast; and don't think you're skipping out on taking us to that bar tonight!"
"If you'd told me you were in to girls I'd have taken you last year. The barmaid is seriously hot. Play your cards right kiddo and I might just hook you up." Cade laughed as she tugged Paige back up to her feet. "I've got a bottle of something hidden in my cabin; we'll crack it open once the kids leave for their camping trip."
They took a slow walk back to the cabins and Paige was amazed to see the girls from her cabin already filing out for breakfast. Usually it was a daily battle to get them out of bed before nine. Emily was behind the girls, wide awake and waving over to Paige and Cade. "I've got to admit it; you've got good taste McCullers." The blonde muttered under her breath as she waved back at Emily. "Hell, if she was a couple of years older- ow!" Paige slugged her in the arm before waving back to the other girl.
"Hey guys, how was the run?" Emily quizzed as they joined her and the other girls on the way to the mess hall. She seemed to be in better spirits and it was a little easier for Paige to look her in the eye as she replied.
"It was great. You should have come with us."
"I'll stick to the water thanks." Emily laughed.
"Well you're definitely coming out with us tonight." Cade draped an arm over Emily's shoulder and Paige felt like a knife was being twisted in her gut.
"Where are we going?" Emily ducked out from under her arm, pretending to drop down to tie her shoelace and Paige couldn't help the smirk that crossed her lips.
"A little bar not too far from here."
"Great."
Paige wasn't too sure about taking Emily to a bar though, considering the last time she had seen the other girl drunk. "Maybe it's not such a good idea-"
"Oh please, stop being so square Paige! We all need a little R&R." Cadence insisted. "They're really lax on carding."
"Hanna and I have our fake IDs."
"Awesome, then it's just Paige we have to worry about! Like I said kiddo, we'll get you in good with the barmaid." Paige shot the blonde a scowl, completely missing the look on Emily's face.
"Great. I'll let Hanna know."
When Cadence went ahead, leaving Emily and Paige alone, Paige brought up going to the bar. "Maybe you shouldn't drink tonight." She tried to sound casual about it as she shoved her hands in to her pockets, but Emily was instantly on the defensive as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Why, because I got a little drunk the other week? I am allowed to have a little fun you know!"
"I didn't say you weren't. I just think that-"
"What? Are you afraid I'll cramp your style when Cade's setting you up with the bartender?" Emily snapped, more than a hint of jealousy in her tone. Paige completely missed it though, all she heard was the anger and it sent her in to defensive mode herself.
"Oh yeah, because I'm real interested in hooking up with some random barmaid. For your information Emily, I've only ever dated one girl…and look how well that turned out!" She stormed off ahead, needing to put some distance between her and Emily before she could say anything else. She felt like a ticking time bomb and one more word or wide-eyed pout from Emily Fields was likely to make her explode.
"Paige, wait!" She ignored Emily calling out to her and almost ploughed through a group of younger kids standing around outside the mess hall. Keeping her head down and her mouth shut she took a tray and loaded it up with breakfast before heading over to her cabin's table. She slammed her metal tray down on the bench so hard that her orange juice spilt and one of the younger girls almost shot out of her seat. From over on her own table Cadence shot her a questioning look, but she ducked her head and chose to ignore her; she only got a few moments of peace though as Emily joined their table. It was only as Emily sat down on the empty seat beside her that Paige realised she was sitting opposite Hanna. She couldn't have chosen a worse seat. All around them the other girls were chatting excitedly about the upcoming wilderness camping and Paige was starting to get a migraine from all the noise. She just wanted to crawl back in to bed and pull the covers over her head until it was Sunday and Emily was leaving. She couldn't screw things up any more than she already had, but she didn't really want the opportunity to try.
"So I have to talk to two more groups this morning and another one after lunch." Hanna announced as she picked at a bran muffin. "Em, will you be ok hanging with Paige?"
"Sure." Emily barely looked up from her cereal bowl and Paige felt a lump forming in her throat; So much for her plan to avoid the other girl.
"Paige, are you coming camping with us tonight?" Sara asked, taking the older girl's attention off Emily for a second.
"Uh, no. Julie and Dan are taking you guys."
"Oh." Sara seemed to deflate a little as she found out Paige wouldn't be going with them. "Can't you come too? It'd be fun. You could share mine and Hannah's tent?"
"That's sweet of you, but I've got plans tonight." Paige smiled, wishing she could just go on the stupid camping trip to get away from Emily for a bit; but she didn't like the idea of leaving Cade alone with her and Hanna. If Emily was going to drink then Paige would at least be around to keep an eye on her again. Picking up on the younger girl's suddenly sour mood Paige tried to cheer her up a bit. "You guys have got a couple of hours free before you've got to head out on the trail. Why don't we go down to the lake and get some swimming in? Emily here might even give you some pointers; you know she's almost as good as me." Paige grinned, feeling some of her own confidence returning as Emily cracked a smile.
"No one's better than you Paige." Sara blushed as she smiled timidly up at the older teen.
Emily hung back a little once the others were finished and caught Hanna's arm before she could leave for her group inspiration session. "Hey Hanna, this might sound crazy, but do you think Sara has a thing for Paige?"
"Em, she's like fourteen!" Hanna laughed her friend's comments off, though she was frowning a little as she watched Sara following Paige out.
"I had a crush on Ali when we were thirteen." Emily pointed out. "I don't know, I just think she seems really attached and Paige seems pretty oblivious to it."
"Maybe you're jealous?" Hanna teased.
"Of a fourteen year old?" She screwed her face up at the blonde's ludicrous suggestion.
"Look Em, I know you're still grieving for Maya and you're not ready to get in to anything, but you're still allowed to be jealous when other girls are interested in someone you've dated; even if they are fourteen and still have a Care Bears towel."
"It's not exactly fair on Paige though." Emily huffed as she followed Hanna out of the mess hall and they hovered by the doors, making the most of the five minutes Hanna had before she was supposed to go to the administration building. "I think I keep giving her mixed signals and I really don't mean to mess her about-"
"Maybe it's time you two had that chat you've been putting off for so long?"
"Maybe." Emily agreed; though in all honesty she wasn't sure what she would even say to Paige if they sat down to talk. She was still figuring that bit out in her head. "I'll catch you at lunch."
She left the blonde and started heading down towards the cabin. Most of the girls had decided to spend their free time down by the lake and were inside getting their things. Emily walked around the back and found Paige pulling her shorts on over her bathing costume. She closed the door behind her and leant against it, blocking Paige from leaving. The other girl's gaze was glued to the floor as she pulled her T-shirt on and picked up her towel. "You should show Sara your butterfly, her technique's a little sloppy-" She tried to manoeuvre around Emily to get to the door, but the other girl stopped her by taking hold of her arm and Paige had nowhere else to look but at Emily. She expected her to shout at her some more, to rant about how it was none of Paige's business how many girls she had dated; but instead she apologised.
"I'm sorry for what I did to you with Samara. I didn't finish things with us to get with her, it just sort of happened; but it was still a lousy thing to do and I just wanted to say I'm sorry if it hurt you."
"It did." If Emily could be honest with her then Paige could make the same effort. "But you have every right to date who you want; and even if you hadn't have left me for Samara you would have just left me when Maya came back anyway, so what does it matter? I'll let you get changed and you can meet us down by the lake." Paige's words stung her, but Emily couldn't argue with them. In all honesty she wasn't sure what she would have done had she and Paige still been together when Maya had returned to Rosewood. Her feelings for Maya, her first real girlfriend, had been intense; but she couldn't deny the thing between her and Paige could be just as overwhelming sometimes. She let go of the other girl's arm to let her go. She eventually opened her mouth as Paige was halfway out the door.
"That night at the bar, when you dragged me up on stage to sing with you…that was probably one of the best nights of my life; and that matters." Paige nodded sombrely before carrying on out of the door.
"Mine too."
The temperature had picked up as the sun had climbed higher in the sky and the lake was almost warm as Emily dipped her toes in to it from the dock. She was wearing a two piece baby blue bikini that she would never get away with wearing when she was swimming for the Sharks. Some of the other girls were already in the water; including Paige who was coaching Sara on her swimming technique while trying not to stare at Emily's toned and tanned abs. Emily was still in great shape, but she hadn't been in the water in weeks, not since she'd fallen in that night and Paige had ended up having to drag her out. Taking a deep, calming breath she took up position on the dock like it was a starting block and dived down in to the water. She cut through the water with ease, muscle memory doing most of the work for her. It felt good to be in the water again and she didn't stop moving until she was almost at the other side of the small lake. She heard cheering and whistling and turned back to find the other girls had watched her clear the lake. She made her way back over to them a little more slowly, savouring the time alone in the water.
"Wow Fields…could you have been any slower?" Paige teased, trying to goad the other girl in to a race. "I'd forget about anchor this year and just go for towel girl-" She was cut off as Emily splashed her, sending a wave of water showering over her and some of the other girls.
"Oh, you're so dead Fields!" Paige lunged forward in the water, but Emily dived down in to the water and resurfaced behind her, laughing.
"Let's play tag…and Paige is it!" She shouted, sending the others girls swimming off in all different directions before Paige could react. A game of tag with two of the state's strongest swimmers wasn't exactly fair on the younger kids, so Paige deliberately hung back as she chased after them. After a couple of minutes she tagged one of the twins and then swam off, laughing as Tory whined about being 'it'. They carried on the game for almost an hour before the younger girls got tired out and climbed back up on to the dock.
"Tag was a nice idea Fields, you're good at this." Paige complimented as the two of them bobbed in the water a little way out from the dock.
"So are you, these kids love you!"
"What's not to love?" Paige laughed as she splashed at the other girl.
"There's that McCullers's modesty." Emily smiled wryly as she splashed her back. "I've missed this, being in the water...having you around to keep me on my toes."
"I'll settle for keeping you on your feet tonight." Paige teased as she started heading back towards the shore. It was getting close to lunch and the girls still needed to finish packing for their camping trip. Once she pulled herself out of the water she rounded the younger girls up to head back to the cabin. "You coming Em?"
"I'm just going to swim a little more. I'll catch you later."
Emily wanted to stay in the water a while longer, with the lake to herself to practise. Her training had been pretty much non-existent for months and Paige's earlier teasing had stirred something in her. Paige shook her head from the dock, knowing exactly what was playing on the other girl's mind. "You're not going to be the towel girl, Em. While some of us have to spend their lives in the water, you've got natural talent. Don't worry about it." Despite Paige's kind words Emily stayed behind at the lake, getting in some practise by doing a few lengths. It was long after lunch by the time she pulled herself out of the lake and her muscles felt like they were burning. The deep ache in her muscles also came with a sense of satisfaction and achievement though. It felt good to be pushing herself again, trying to return to normal. She wrapped her towel around her waist and slipped her feet in to her sandals before making her way to the cabin she was sharing with Paige and the others.
She walked up the stairs at the back that led to the peer councillor's room and was surprised to find Paige asleep on her bunk. Tiptoeing across the room she opened the dividing door to check if the younger girl's had gone camping. The larger room in the cabin was empty, save for the clothes strewn across the floor. She closed the door back over quietly and kept her back to Paige's bed as she changed out of her bikini. The sun was burning bright in the sky and the temperature was still rising. The camp was near Scranton, in the northeast of the state where the average temperature in summer was usually in the low seventies; as Emily pulled on a vest and tied back her hair she was pretty sure the temperature was pushing eighty.
Paige had obviously been feeling the heat when she'd changed too. She was wearing Hawaiian board shorts and a Rosewood Sharks vest. Her cheeks were flushed and she was lying under the open window. Emily sighed as she flopped on to her own bed. She was pretty exhausted from all the swimming, but it was too hot for her to fall asleep. She wasn't sure what time Hanna was supposed to be done with her group work, so she popped in the headphones of her iPod with her music on low and lay down on her bed to wait for her to come back to the cabin. She jumped some time later as she heard Paige's phone go off. The other girl groaned as she blindly groped for her phone on the bedside table. "Hello?" She sighed in to the phone, her voice husky with sleep. "Hey, Mom." She sat up and brushed her hair back from her face. Noticing Emily on the other bunk she nodded her head slightly to acknowledge her as she let out a yawn. "Yeah it's good. Hanna and Emily from school are here for the weekend. Yeah, from the swim team." Paige felt her cheeks flush as her mom tried to give her the third degree on the other girl. Emily's name had been mentioned more than once in her house and Paige's mom, like most mothers, had picked up on just how much she liked the other girl.
"Actually mom, we're just about to go kayaking. Can I call you back later? Yeah, love you too, bye."
Paige hung up the phone and tossed it down beside her on her bed. "Lying to your mom?" Emily teased with a playful smile as Paige rolled her eyes at her.
"I am kayaking. See?" She sat up in bed and made a motion as if she were paddling with an imaginary oar. Emily cracked up laughing at the sight of her. The other girl's humour was one of the things she loved most about her.
"You're too much, McCullers." Emily shook her head at the other girl as she tossed her pillow at her. Paige caught it with ease and popped it behind her head with her own as she lay back down on her side.
"Hanna not back?"
"Not yet." Emily shook her head, the silence quickly building between them. Whenever they tended to be left alone it seemed to end badly and Emily wasn't in the mood for another fight. "So what are you wearing tonight?" She tried to keep the conversation light and on something safe; something that wouldn't end in them screaming at each other.
Paige shrugged in reply. She hadn't really thought about it. "You should wear your hair down, it makes you look older…you know, so you don't get carded." Emily helpfully supplied. "And maybe not the board shorts?" She laughed as Paige pulled a face.
"Hey! These bad boys are my best pair!" In truth they were just the first shorts Paige had found when she'd gotten back to the cabin, but she played it on; enjoying the sound of Emily's laughter filling the room. "With the right pair of heels…what do you think?" She lifted up her long toned leg, pointing out her toes with a grin.
"Do you even own heels?"
"I could borrow some from Hanna?"
"Good luck with that." Emily laughed as she pushed herself up from her bed and padded over to the wardrobe she was sharing with Paige. "Hanna's shoes are like her babies. And you're not wearing those shorts. You don't have ID so we need to make you look older." Paige rolled her eyes as Emily started going through their clothes, looking for something that would make the other girl look old enough to be in a bar. Emily smiled as she spotted a familiar black off the shoulder top; the one Paige had worn for their sort of date at the karaoke bar.
"You should wear this one." She held the top up for Paige's inspection. She caught the other girl biting her lip as she stared at the top, obviously thinking back to that night. "It looks nice on you, and that way if you do get carded you can just charm the girl behind the bar…like Cadence said." She tried to laugh, but the sound got stuck in her throat. She knew exactly what Paige meant when she'd said it was too hard for her to be her friend. She was finding it pretty hard to look at Paige and only see a friend herself. She was grateful when the cabin door opened and Hanna walked in, oblivious to the rising tension in the room.
"Hey guys! So, what's everybody wearing tonight?"