Here's some more of this story for you guys! I just wanted to check in and say how much I appreciate all of your reviews! I love reading them soooo much!! And I also just wanted to mention that for those of you who were reading my other fic "Let's Go On Dreaming", I just wanted to say that I am going to wrap that up--I won't just leave it hanging...So anyway, I hope you enjoy this!!

As I walk out of the scrub room, I feel tears prick my eyes. What did I do? That wasn't supposed to happen. I walk into an on call room and close the door behind me, locking it. I sit down on the edge of the bed and let the tears come. I don't even know why I'm crying.

I never thought much about having a child. The thought of being in charge of another person scared me to death. What if I messed it up? What if I turned into my mother? But then I met Derek and I thought maybe...It isn't supposed to be like this. I'm not supposed to be alone.

Suddenly I hear a knock on the door I lift my head and wipe the tears off my cheeks. "Meredith?" Derek calls from the other side of the door. "Are you in there?"

"Please, just go," I tell him.

"Meredith, please let me in," he replies. "I want to talk to you about this."

"Derek..." I say, choking back tears. "It's okay...Just please leave me alone."

There is a pause. "I can't," he says finally. "I can't just leave you alone."

I get up and, despite myself, open the door. He looks at me for a moment before moving past me into the room. I close the door, but don't turn to look at him. "Meredith..." he says behind me. "Meredith please just look at me."

I turn around and lift my gaze to meet his. "How long have you known?" he asks.

"A couple days," I say softly. He nods slightly and tilts his head as he studies my face.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he finally asks.

I shrug. "We were broken up."

"You still should have told me."

I look into his eyes for a moment, before turning away. "Derek...I can't...I...I don't..." I feel tears in my eyes and I fold my arms across my chest, shaking my head slightly. "I don't know what to do," I say quietly. "I can barely take care of myself, let alone a baby...and we're broken up, we broke up...so if you want to walk away..." Even as I say it I know it's ridiculous. Of course he won't walk away. Of course he won't leave me alone. And for once I don't feel suffocated by the thought.

"Meredith," he says, his voice low. "Never think that. Never think for one second that I won't be there."

I look at him and smile slightly. "Okay."

He moves closer to me and touches my elbow. I close my eyes and lean into him, unfolding my arms and resting them on his chest. He hugs me to his body tightly and presses his face into my hair. "You won't have to do this alone."

I close my eyes with a slight smile and lift my head, finding his lips with mine, kissing him softly. And as he kisses me back, sweeping his tongue across my lips, I feel something different in his kiss. It isn't just pure desire, there is something else...It's gentle and loving and...It's the way he kissed me before. Before I ran away. It's the way he kissed me when he trusted that I would stay.

And all over again, I feel trapped. It's too much. It can't be this easy. I don't deserve all of this. I feel myself pull away from the safe harbor of his arms and take a few steps backwards. He watches me carefully, unmoving, pain flashing in his eyes. "Meredith..." he says.

"I, um, I have to go," I say hastily, reaching for the doorknob.

"Meredith, please."

I turn my head and look at him one last time. "I'm sorry," I breathe before walking out into the hallway.

xxx

I go through the rest of the day in a daze. I miss him all over again and long for him all over again. I can't keep doing this. It's too exhausting. It seems so simple when I think about it. But whenever I feel myself letting him in, whenever I begin to let down my guard, I get scared and run.

My father left. My mother was absent. Man after man has left me behind. It's been ingrained in me for too long. Everyone will leave eventually. No matter how much I want to, no matter how much I will myself to just stand still, I can't help it. I run. It's what I do best.

That night I meet Christina and we drive to my house together. "I told him," I say wearily as we drive.

"You did?" Christina asks.

"I did," I say.

"What did he do?" Christina asks.

I shake me head. "He was Derek. Perfect and supportive. And I wouldn't let him be."

"You left?"

"I left."

xxx

As soon as we walk into the house I go upstairs into my bedroom and crawl under the covers, despite the fact that it's only 8 o'clock. I'm just so exhausted. Everything is so exhausting. I lie there for a while, tucked under the covers until finally, I drift off to sleep.

Sometime in the night, I am awoken by someone knocking on the door downstairs. I hear Izzie's bubbly voice as she opens the door and then footsteps ascending the stairs. The footsteps stop in my doorway and I know it's him. And despite myself, I feel my heart leap slightly in my chest.

I hear him take off his jacket and untie his shoes before climbing onto the bed, crawling across the covers and lying down behind me. I don't say anything only lean back towards him slightly, closing my eyes. And then he wraps his arms around me and presses his face into the curve of my neck, breathing in deeply. Still I don't say anything and he moves his hand up my thigh, along the curve of my hip, before coming to rest on my stomach.

For now, this is enough. For now, this is okay. Just his arms holding me and his smell surrounding me and his lips pressed gently into my neck. This enough. This is okay. For now, I don't pull away. And I close my eyes and drift off as he traces slow circles on my stomach.

xxx

I wake up as the morning light slants through my bedroom window. And he is still there. With me. His arm draped across my stomach and his breath tickling my cheek. I turn in his arms so that we are facing and he is already awake. "Morning," I say softly.

"Morning," he says. He leans forward and kisses me softly, cradling the back of my head with his hand. I immediately respond, deepening the kiss and pulling myself against his body. After a while, he pulls back slightly and looks into my eyes. I can sense that he is about to talk and raise my finger to his lips. I don't say anything, only lean forward, replacing my finger with my lips, kissing him hungrily.

He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me on top of him, so that I'm straddling his waist. I look into his intent blue gaze and smile slightly, before reaching down to the edge of his shirt and pulling it up over his head. I move my fingers lightly over his chest, feeling the soft curls beneath my fingertips, before leaning down and pressing kisses along his jawline, feeling the rough stubble against my soft lips.

He groans softly in the back of his throat and reaches down, pulling my shirt up over my head. I give myself over to the pleasure darting through as he runs my hands over my breasts and stomach. No other man has ever made me feel the way he does. No one has ever moved me like him. What is wrong with me?

Suddenly, he flips us over so that he is on top. He hovers over me for a second, his body barely touching mine. I moan softly and arch into him, needing to feel him inside me. He reaches down and pulls my pajama bottoms off my hips, my panties following shortly after. I reach for the snap on his jeans impatiently, but he stops me. Instead he lowers his mouth to my breast, sweeping his tongue over my nipple until it hardens beneath his touch. He then moves to the other and continues his torment until it's too much for me to bear.

I reach for the snap on his jeans again and this time he lets me, lifting his hips slightly as I slide them down along with his boxers. He pauses for a second and I whimper softly beneath him, pulling his hips towards me. He finally gives in and thrusts into me slowly. I let out a moan as he begins to move within me, closing my eyes as pleasure washes over me, pushing all of my problems, all of my fears away. At least for now.

Afterwards, he takes me into his arms and presses a kiss to my forehead. I rest my head on his chest and let out a breath. "What do we do now?" I say softly.

He reaches out and lifts my chin with his finger, tipping my face towards him. I part my lips slightly and he leans forward kissing my softly. "I don't know," he says. "I don't know."