DISCLAIMER: Aw hell naw (wish I did tho)

'Ah... Another peaceful morning...'

Is what Roy Mustang, trapped in Edward Elric's body, wished he could have said that morning. However, he had just woken up, and already was completely frozen in shock.

"Morning brother." A faint voice said to him, as he suddenly turned around in shock.

'Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap...' Roy thought, breaking his usually collected, mature attitude and going full force into a 'WTF' one instead. He wasn't even sure if he had Ed's voice yet- if he didn't, then oh boy, was this going to be awkward.

So, unsure of whether he would come out sounding like Roy or Ed, he simply groaned quietly and pretended he was too tired to reply.

Well, at least it would fit Ed's character well.

He quickly jumped out of bed and hurried past Al into the bathroom, locking the door behind him as he stood still in front of the mirror.

And as soon as he did, he suddenly collapsed onto the floor.

"I'm... I'm... a midget..." He groaned, face flat on the cold, hard floor. "What lady would want me now?"

As soon as he spoke, he realised he had indeed gotten the added bonus of Ed's voice. So now, not only had his beautifully toned, TALL physique gone completely out of the window, but also his wonderful sexy manly Roy Mustang voice that was more soothing than yoga on a Sunday morning... Well wasn't this just wonderful.

"Goodbye, masculinity..." He moaned in his newly scratchy voice.

But, yet another problem with this pipsqueak-sized body, was the automail. It was so heavy, so straining on the muscles- he had never fully realised just how strong Fullmetal truly was until this weird body swap, or whatever the hell it was.

But, after some thinking (or more accurately, panicking), he figured that the first thing he should do, was go to the suite he and Riza had been staying in the previous night, and try to find out what had happened to his own body. And what about Ed?

His golden eyes suddenly widened.

"Oh no..." He muttered, quickly standing up, and running out of the room without any hesitation.

"Room 549, Room 549... Or was it 548?" He whispered to himself cautiously, dashing down the hallway and eventually reaching room 549.

Just as he was about to enter, he suddenly paused, and remembered that Riza would likely still be sleeping. In account of this fact, he quietly pushed open the door, and arrived to see himself- or, technically Ed trapped inside himself- pacing back and forth in only his boxers, then suddenly jerking his head around to face the doorway, in which he (Roy) was now stood in, golden eyes widened in shock.

"Colonel! Colonel!" Edward whispered loudly, but now not making much sense since he was talking to himself, or his own body, rather than Roy's.

"What the FUCK is going on?"

It sounded so strange to hear Mustang speaking in that tone. He only ever spoke like that if he was really pissed at someone, or of course if he was actually Ed trapped inside Roy's body...

"Damn, put some pants on Fullmetal- I mean Roy- I mean me- I mean-" He struggled to find a name he could label Ed as. Saying 'me' would just be weird, but he couldn't just call him Ed, because he wasn't anymore. And he just couldn't bring himself to call himself 'Colonel'.

The distressed Colonel was missing his own body already. "Argh! I need to get out of this stupid midget body!"

"HEY WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT MY BODY YOU BASTARD I'M NOT SO SMALL THAT-"

However, Roy's angry shouting was cut short by Hawkeye sitting up in bed, and then looking at the two of them in confusion. And there were many reasons for her to be confused; Ed was in her and Roy's room, and not only that but Roy was complaining about being small (though it was actually the other way round).

"Fullmetal...?"

She grabbed her gun, which she had somehow had on the bedside table, and spoke in a harsh tone; "You woke me up."

Unable to think straight, with far too much running through Edward's mind, he ran out of the room and headedback into his own.

However, he'd been an idiot again; he'd forgotten that he wasn't Edward Elric anymore. He would be Roy Mustang, randomly bursting into his and Al's room in only his boxers, and sweating like a pig.

Luckily, he remembered this before he could enter the room, although it had been a close call.

'Damn...' He thought, running a hand through his black hair (which was now a lot shorter than his own blonde locks had previously been) and taking a moment to calm down. 'I am actually stupid Colonel Bastard... At least I'm taller, but...'

"What the hell am I supposed to do now?"