4. Truths

The following morning, it was only after a short trek that Tywin Lannister's camp finally appeared on the horizon

"We're here" said Tyrion. "Let me go talk to my father and I'll be right back."

"No" said the leader. "We all go. You try any tricks and I'll chop off your manhood.."

"Yes, and feed it to the goats" interrupted Tyrion.

"Father!" he yelled as they walked into the camp. "I've brought soldiers for your army. They bring the guts and the gore, you just need to supply them with weapons"

"What's the meaning of this? Who are these people? I was told you had been kidnapped" replied an enraged Lord Tywin.

"Yes, father, it's good to see you too. I was at an inn on my way back from the Wall and I was captured by Lady Stark"

"You let yourself be taken by a woman" his father said with disgust.

"Not only did I let myself be taken by a woman, father, I also let myself be captured by a mountain clan. I'm such a disgrace. Yet, as I am also witty and keen on preserving my own life, I offered these fine men a place in your army and weapons in exchange for my life."

"What about the woman? Did you promise her weapons as well? Did you know King Robert has died? Did you know your nephew is doing shit as a King? Did you know this woman's husband is wreaking havoc in King's Landing"

"No, I just told her to come with us so they wouldn't kill her" Tyrion replied matter-of-factly.

"She kidnapped you and you save her life. How honorable! I'm proud of you, son" said Twyin sarcastically. "Go, find yourself a tent and make yourself look presentable. Make sure the Lady gets a tent, too. I'll go deal with your men"

"Piece of advice, father, don't cross them or they will chop off your manhood and feed it to the goats"

.

After a nice bath, a change of clothes and a very large meal he felt refreshed, almost like a new man.

"Father, how did it go with the mountain men. Is you manhood still intact?"

"I paid them in gold and weapons and bid them on their way. They are not army material. They are too wild and unpredictable."

"Where's Lady Stark?"

"Sleeping. When she wakes up, send her on her way back to Winterfell. I want you to take a handful of men and go to King's Landing help your sister sort out the mess she is in. Get rid of Lord Stark. I'm appointing you Hand of the King"

.

Hours later he came across a much refreshed Lady Stark.

"Are you ready to go back home?" he asked her.

"Actually, I'd rather go to King's Landing. I want to see my husband"

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thanks. I guess all I needed was a bath and a good nap"

"Yes, I'm sure that's what you needed" he replied noncommittally "I'm going to get horses and get everything ready for our trip. I'm coming with you".

"Lord Tyrion, you don't have to"

"Why, don't tell me you have tired of my company already. Well, as it happens I am on my way to King's Landing, as well"

.

They set out early the following morning.

"Much better, isn't it? Horses, real food, clean clothes, our hands aren't tied, and we can stop whenever you need to rest, or vomit"

"I promise, Lord Tyrion, I'm not going to get sick on you again" she laughed.

"Let me ask you something, when was the last time you saw your husband?"

"About five weeks ago. I met him in King's Landing at Lord Baelish's establishment. That's when Petyr told me about the dagger"

"I see. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you again. Can I give you some advice? Are you going to tell him of your suspicions about Jamie and Cersei?

"That is none of your business"

"Well, if by any chance you are, don't. You'll start something you won't be able to finish."

"They pushed my son out of a window" she replied through clenched teeth. "That's not something I can forget or forgive easily."

"Yes, so maybe they did. And when that failed they had no qualms sending an assassin after your boy. What do you think they'll do to your husband, to your daughters who are still in King's Landing, to you?"

"I don't care what they do to me. They will pay"

"Let me ask you something else. When did you have your last blood?"

"Lord Tyrion, how dare you?" she yelled back at him.

"When?" he insisted

After a long pause she said "I'm a couple of weeks late"

"Do what I say, Lady Stark. Go to King's Landing, get your husband and your daughters and go back home to your family. Forget about Jamie and Cersei, forget about marrying Sansa to Joffrey. He's my nephew but I wouldn't wish him upon my worst enemy, not even upon you" he smiled.

"Thank you" she said honestly.

TBC