Coolness! I'm writing faster than usual. Maybe it's because I'm trying to write this before CLAMP releases their story about Fai's past, cause when that comes out, I'll want to rewrite everything...

...that's just the way I am.

nagisha-chan, thanks again for the review. I'm working hard to make the chapters as good as I can for all who read them.

DemonUntilDeath, I certainly hope I can keep you interested. Thanks for the review.

Well, this is chapter four. Please enjoy!

Raison d'Etre

IV

To the young Yukito, the palace was as vast as the desert that surrounded their small country, and hence was equally frightening to be in. As he and Clef walked through the large halls at the trail of a tall man with beautiful black hair, he couldn't help but feel dwarfed and vulnerable. He stayed close to his grandfather, hiding behind the old man's billowing white cloak. He tried to keep his gaze directed at the floor, but couldn't help but take curious little peeks every now and then at his surroundings. The floors were made of and intricately patterned mosaic of shiny rocks and black stone. It was beautiful and, with what little Yukito saw of the rest of the palace, was well-fit with the rest of the place.

The man and his grandfather moved through the halls at a solid, business-like pace and were talking in hushed tones. Yukito had been taught not to listen and not to interrupt whenever adults spoke like that, so he did his best to be quiet and stay out of sight.

He was a bit surprised when his grandfather stopped walking.

"Yukito," the man with black hair smiled kindly at the intimidated little boy. "Do you know who I am?" The tone was deep and indulgent.

Yukito stood there, mesmerized so Clef gave his grandson a gentle pat on the back to bring the boy back to reality to answer the question.

"Yes, sir," Yukito replied shyly. "You're Clow-heika-sama of Clow Kingdom..." he hesitated a moment, trying to choose the right word to call the king before continuing, "...Sir."

"That's right," Clow crouched to Yukito's level making the boy take a step back into the folds of his grandfather's cloak. "Now, you don't have to be afraid of me."

This made Yukito draw away from Clef a small bit.

"What do you think of the palace?" Clow asked again.

Yukito flushed slightly, still overwhelmed by the experience. He had been taught that the king was a great man and great men didn't talk to little people like him and his grandfather. "I...I think..." he turned to his grandfather for guidance, and received an encouraging nod. The king waited patiently as he stumbled over his answer. "I...It's beautiful, sir," Yukito finally blurted out.

"I'm glad," Clow straightened up. "Because this palace will be your home now. Would you like that?"

The boy nodded, though he wasn't sure what he really thought about the idea.

"Clef, would you mind if I left you here for a while?" Clow inquired.

"Not at all, your highness," Clef glanced at the child. "Yukito and I have some matters to discuss."

Clow was understanding, so he left the other two on their own.

"Yuki," Clef, for the first time since they came to the palace, faced his grandson. "When you live here in the palace, I won't be with you."

Golden eyes widened, "Why, grandfather? If you're not coming with me, then I won't come and live here!" His earlier ambivalence about living in the palace was quick to be replaced with reluctance. He was frightened by the beauty of the place, by its scale and its majesty. It would be lonely and scary without his grandfather by his side.

"You have to," there was sadness in Clef's voice, like that of a man who needed to say goodbye, but couldn't. The words made Yukito cry and Clef became even sadder, sympathizing with the child, but things couldn't be helped. "I will be going somewhere you can't go, my child. Someone needs to take care of you."

"You'll be coming back, won't you?" Yukito sniffled a bit, but there was hope in his eyes.

The hope broke Clef's heart. "I'll come back if you really need me, my child," he answered. He gently wiped away the boy's tears with his fingers. "Now, stop crying. There is someone we would like you to meet."

Yukito realized that the king was back with them. Unfortunately, his tears didn't have an automatic off switch and he was still sniffling, and his cheeks were still damp when he faced the Clow-heika again. He shamefully, kept his head down.

"Don't cry. Here, wipe your tears." A kerchief was offered to him by a small hand and a little boy's voice.

Yukito peered up at the owner of the hand and his gaze met a pair of pretty brown eyes. There was something in those eyes that washed away all of the fear with the warmth of meeting someone special. The boy had black hair like the king, but his was much shorter. He was about Yukito's age, maybe slightly older.

Yukito didn't take the piece of cloth. He just stared at it like it was something he had never seen before.

The boy frowned slightly, displeased, but not angry. It was probably the child-version of exasperation. He took it upon himself to wipe the silver-haired boy's tear-stained cheeks. "My name is Touya, my father said you're going to come live with us. What's your name?"

"Y...Yukito."

"Alright, Yukito, welcome to the palace," Touya grinned widely as he put away the handkerchief. "Don't cry anymore, I promise, I'll take good care of you."

And, it was at that moment that Yukito promised himself that he would take good care of Touya, as well. After all, like his grandfather said, when you're with the person you were meant to live for, you will know.

And, suddenly, the palace didn't seem so scary anymore.

-

Yukito was on edge as he watched Touya sitting in the dining room, worried sick. The two foreigners were with them on account of Touya summoning them for a "discussion" about their travels over snacks. Food had just been served when a guard came in to announce that a sandstorm was coming. The king had wanted to send out a party to fetch Sakura and the others, but decided against it, as traveling in the storm was more dangerous.

They would have to wait the storm out the way they usually did.

Yukito felt even more helpless than before. He couldn't do anything to relieve Touya's anxiety. He couldn't reassure the king that Sakura was fine nor could he give her whereabouts. He had lost his abilities for things like these and felt utterly useless. And it wasn't so much that he had lost his magic or severely weakened it, if it was only him, he could live without magic just fine...

...but Touya and Clow kingdom needed him and his magic—more the latter than the former. That was what was making him sink deeper and deeper into a pit of depression. Since that day he met Touya, he had sworn to himself that he would live to help Touya in any way he could. He had reiterated that pledge to himself so many times in his life. But now, there was nothing he could do for Touya or the kingdom.

It was this train of thought that the foreign magician, Fai broke into when he spoke. "It must happen pretty often in this place, huh?" He spoke as if nothing was wrong.

Yukito, snapped out of his reverie, was the one who answered. "Not until recently," he revealed, his golden eyes darkening somewhat at the thought that he should have been able to protect the kingdom with his magic. He dragged himself back, away from his dark place before he sank too deep to continue his explanation. "We only noticed it a few weeks after Syaoran-kun and Sakura-hime left. The storms were getting stronger and were happening a lot more often."

"You two don't look very worried," Touya tried not to sound as accusing as he really was, but with Fai and Kurogane's perceptive natures, his efforts to hide his true feelings were for naught. Yukito caught on, as well and this made him feel guiltier. Gruff as he was, it wasn't in Touya's nature to act that way. Okay, he often acted that way around Syaoran-kun, but that was the sister-complex working.

Kurogane grunted, "I trust the kid."

"Don't worry," Fai added. "Syaoran-kun has always taken good care of Sakura-chan. She'll be alright as long as he's with her."

Touya immediately bristled at the familiarity, but let it slide. There were many more pressing matters to think about, like Sakura lost and alone in the sand storm and Sakura spending so much time with the archeologist brat. Of course, Sakura could have company; she could be with the brat. Oh, that wasn't much of a positive thought, either.

"Yukito-san," Fai turned smiling blue eyes at the other mage. "Can you tell me more about these odd weather patterns?"

Yukito thought hard for a moment, recalling as many relevant details as he could. "Our meteorologists used to be able to predict the comings and goings of storms in the city. Now, we don't know if a storm is coming until the wind begins to shift. People have been hiding in their homes for a while now, afraid of when the next sandstorm is going to hit."

"There were a lot of people out when we arrived," Kurogane pointed out.

"They came out for love of Sakura-hime," the high priest of Clow replied. "That's why they were so on edge when they didn't find her with you."

"That explains a lot," Fai grinned inanely as he swirled the liquid in the glass in front of him. He stared at his own reflection, distorted by the moving fluid.

"There's one more thing," Yukito continued as an afterthought. "The storms seem to be coming from the ruins."

"The ruins," Touya added in a grave tone. "Where Sakura lost what she did." The feelings of the king were very clear. He was concerned about his little sister and wanted to get to the bottom of everything that was going on.

Kurogane glanced around the table, checking the reactions of the two magicians. Yukito's expression was pained and filled with uncertainty about the future and he kept his gaze downcast, refusing to look at anyone else. Fai, well, Fai's expression was thoughtful, like a man contemplating the different options he had in a very complicated situation.

"Is something wrong, Kuro-wanwan?" Fai was quick to realize that he was being scrutinized. He kept his voice down as Touya and Yukito appeared to be lost in their own thoughts.

Kurogane glared at the blond, "If you know something, wizard, say it."

"Kuro-sama is giving me too much credit," Fai answered, with a smile, but the brightness of his voice never seemed to reach his eyes.

-

When the winds began to die down, the guards informed the king and the high priest immediately and Touya ordered that Sakura and her companions be searched for.

"Shall we join them, Heika-sama?" Yukito asked as the search party assembled in front of the palace, awaiting deployment. The wind was still up, but the volume of sand it carried was much lower. But vision still required goggles.

Touya nodded. "We will. Can you find them with your magic, Yukito?"

The high priest was mortified, and appeared at a loss, a detail that Kurogane and Fai did not leave unnoticed. He was speechless and was only saved by Fai.

"I don't think that will be necessary, Heika-sama," Fai interjected. "I have an idea as to where the kids might be."

Kurogane eyed him suspiciously, "Now, how would you know that?"

Touya and Yukito were equally curious.

"Call it a mother's instinct!" was the simple answer from Fai.

"Stop fooling around, you damn magician!" Kurogane growled.

Touya was too busy frowning and not liking that his sister's safety was being made fun of to see how relieved Yukito was.

But, Fai, from Sakura's feather in Rekord, did actually have a good idea where Syaoran and Sakura were. He distinctly remembered the landmarks and easily navigated the streets. Kurogane who had gone after him, recognized the path they were taking. "You're going to the kid's place?"

"Kuro-ponpon is very smart," the blond found the tiny house. Sand had accumulated on one side, blocking the door. "Do you think the kids are in there?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Kurogane replied.

-

"It's over," Yamazaki stood, the sand on his cape making a hushing sound as they slid to the floor. They were half-buried in sand in Syaoran's study, but luckily, none of them were hurt.

Syaoran checked on Sakura and Mokona first, before getting up. He helped Sakura up and then examined the inside of his house. "If it's like this in here, we may not be able to get out too easily."

Another rumbling sound made the children in the room cry out.

"Is it another sandstorm?" Chiharu asked.

"No! It sounded much worse!" Yamazaki replied, pushing Chiharu behind him. "Like a sand-dwelling monster from the desert who eats the hearts of little children while they sleep!"

"That sounds scary!" Chiharu glared at her boyfriend through her fear. "You're just making that up, right?" She would normally be so confident that a tale like that would be made up, but the horribly scraping sounds and banging outside really did sound like something monstrous was causing it.

Syaoran wordlessly poised himself to protect Sakura and Mokona.

But, along with the bangs and rumbling came muffled voices from the other side of the door.

"Waaaai! Kuro-run is so strong!"

"Why don't you help out a bit, you troublesome idiot?"

"Fai-san! Kurogane-san," Sakura and Syaoran's faces brightened.

-

As the door of the old archeologist's house was broken down by the tall, dark man with the long sword, relief washed over Touya when he heard his sister's voice call out.

"Looks like they found them," Touya told his high priest.

"Yes," Yukito smiled, but there was a bitter edge to it. Touya should have wondered if he was imagining things, but with the other man's recently odd behavior, he wasn't really surprised. His worry not shifted from Sakura to Yukito. What was wrong with his dearest friend?

---

I hope you guys enjoyed. Thanks for reading up to this point. Reviews are always appreciated.

There we go!

Chapter five quote;

"Syaoran-kun, was that place we stayed in...really your house?" ­- Sakura