(A/N): Don't get excited! Well, you can get a tad excited if you want. You can check the 'updates' section of my profile for the long-winded version, but I've decided I've not faded out yet. The good news is I'm committing myself to pressing on with Do Svidanya and beginning Those He Left Behind. I can't say when, but I've made up my mind that much at least.

The bad news is that I don't think I can continue with this one. However…I read back over my plans and it saddened me just how much I had wanted to finish this fic. I thought it would get done very quickly, only being ten chapters and all, but it's dragged far too long.

So what I'm going to do here is simply put down everything I had for the rest of the chapters. In some cases I had large chunks written and some are just random lines (that's how I begin most chapters; random funny lines). If I ever come back to this, I'll get rid of this chapter and just carry on, but I want you to know some of the stuff I had yet to write.

From Chapter 4

Day 5- The day of dancing and the night of drama. Hilary's POV.

…

(A/N): Tyson once went out with Garland, and he now remembers and gets all upset about it.

'He pretended to be all honourable but really he couldn't stand me, I'll bet you anything! What if nobody can ever stand me, ever?!' he wails. 'And I'll be forty!'

'What? Forty?!' Max looks absolutely horrified. 'When?!'

'Some day!!'

…

'All you can do is act immature and tell a stupid sex-related joke!'

'You fucking are a stupid sex-related joke!'

Yeeep, Tyson and Rei are still yelling fit to beat Jesus at eachother.

'You're so full of hot air!'

'Oh yeah? Well what are you full of, Rei? Semen!'

…

'You guys,' Daichi says out of the blue. '…I think I might be straight.'

From Chapter 5

Day 6- The day of travel. Hilary's POV.

…

Poor Daichi is being harassed about the announcement he made yesterday.

'How long have you known?' Tyson asks softly, speaking as though the greatest tragedy has just befallen.

'Yeah, I mean, didn't you notice?' Kenny asks, trying to help somewhat.

Daichi shrugs. 'I don't know…I guess I've just been friends with Tyson so long, I just assumed I was like him.'

'Perhaps you're bisexaual,' Max suggests, to which Tyson responds with an intellectual snort.

'Oh god, hell no. Daichi, I can take it if you're straight, but those half-breeds just baffle me!' Wonderful, Tyson, bordering on prejudice without actually stating it. It's a shame about the loose connection between that boy's brain and his mouth. 'I mean, honestly, how can you go for both? That's literally having your cake and eating it too!'

I hate when people do that. Actually, Tyson, hate to break it to you, but that's not literally having your cake and eating it too. And that expression is absolutely ridiculous because there's no good whatsoever in having a cake you can't eat.

'Which is which?' asks Daichi impatiently. 'Because so long as I can eat the cake, I don't really care who it belongs to!'

'Well, I assume being straight would be having the cake. Then you get the whole package, including family and, you know, respect and everything. But then if you're queer, you've sort of eaten away at your chances…but the whole thing was a damn tasty experience.'

…My god, that actually made sense!

'And if you consummate it in Vegas, you can eat all your money aswell!' Only Daichi would find that vaguely appealing, even if we were talking literally.

'In China you can eat your dog!'

'Let's put an end to this before someone gets offended…'

'What the hell am I, your cat?!' Rei fires, clearly offended to the highest extreme about the edible dog comment.

…

'God Hil, why do you get mad at me for always being right? I don't get mad at you for always being wrong!' Tyson is such an ass sometimes!

…

(A/N): By this time they'd gone to Salou and are now in a hotel.

'I think Kenny ought to sleep in the single, seeing as he's so ill,' I voice, already knowing what Tyson's going to say before he opens his colossal mouth.

'Ah Hil, I know you just want to share the double with me,' he winks.

'Who said anything about sharing? I was going to make you sleep on the balcony…'

'Hardy ha-ha, Hilary.' He puts his man-bag down on the bed. 'I get the middle, then.'

'Oh yeah, and why's that? So you don't sleep-pee over the balcony again?'

'No, just so I can masturbate to both of you at once.' Touché Tyson, touché…

…

From Chapter 6

Day 7- The day of doing basically nothing. Rei's POV.

…

(A/N): Tyson and Rei are on their balcony watching people having sex on the roof of the opposite building. LOL it sounds so weird to explain it like this.

'Crikey!' Oh no… 'Take a gander at the sheila canoodling with the blue-footed boobie!'

'Max what are you talking about?' I ask, craning my neck to look past the wall on to Max's balcony.

'I have absolutely no idea, but my Australian's getting pretty good, eh?'

I roll my eyes as Tyson cries out 'OPERATION SUPERMAN IS A-GO!' How wonderfully subtle he can be at times like these… 'Max, is canoodling even a word they use in Australia?'

'I don't know but it sounds bangin' in the accent!'

I shrug and open my mouth to agree, but I feel a sharp tugging on my collar and suddenly I'm flung backwards, arms flailing and everything, landing on Hilary's bed with a thump. Tyson's soon to follow, and I thank god the balcony door was completely open or we could have had quite a fatal accident there.

'WE SURRENDER!'

'Remind me never to be on a team with you, Rei…'

On second thoughts, I don't think it was an accident because Kai's standing with his back to the balcony looking down at us with a rather disturbed expression on his face. I'd say we've definitely been busted in a dodgy situation here. But I'm still quite curious to know how Kai got in.

'And the Kai-bird has made a grab for its prey…' After that, Max conveniently disappears. Or he just stays very silent.

'Erm…' Tyson says awkwardly, neither of us daring to move as we lie there awkwardly as though waiting for him to rape us or something. '…hi, Kai.'

'First you don't tell me you're going to the beach,' oh wow, that Tyson is a liar and a half! 'And now I find you up here watching some couple like sick perverts.'

'But Kai they're right on the balcony! I mean, look at them! How can you not, they're practically asking for it!'

'Yeah, Kai!' I join in enthusiastically. 'Come on, take a look! They're right there behind you on the opposite building!'

'Look, look, Kai!' Tyson points excitedly behind the tufts of blue hair. 'Check it out, you haven't lived until you've taken a peek at the orgasm roof!'

'You've named it?'

He ignores me. 'Come on, they're right there! Look now, look, look, look!'

I think it's all the excessive pointing and the excitement in Tyson's voice, but Kai actually switches his brain off to listen to his burning curiosity and turns his head to have a look in the direction Tyson is pointing. Of course, as soon as he does this, the couple happen to glance over. They see Kai gaping at them and hurry back into their room, throwing looks of disgust back over their shoulders as they go.

Kai looks mortified. Tyson looks like the Cake 'n' Bacon just came into existence. Which, by the way, would be a miracle in his eyes.

(A/N): Cake 'n' Bacon is a Fairly Odd Parents reference…lol don't ask.

…

Hilary's taken charge and is literally herding us out like cattle, trying to stop a drunken Kai fighting with what I can only imagine is an inanimate object.

'Is it 'cause I'm white?! It's 'cause I'm white isn't it!'

…Yeah, it's time to go!

…

From Chapter 7

Day 8- The day of rein. Hilary's POV.

…

'Hey guys,' Tyson interrupts, confusion written all over his face. 'Who's Rick?'

We all face-palm. 'Tyson, you idiot! He's the guy you were with on our very first night out! At the bar-crawl with the guy who thought Max wa-…er, the blonde!'

'Oh!' He cries out with recognition. 'Well he sent me a text…Wait, how'd he get my number? I have a policy about that! In fact, I'm pretty certain I remember making a point of giving him a fake number…'

'Tyson,' Kai's just walked in from his shower and is clearly past wondering what everyone is suddenly doing in his room. 'Tyson, why do you have my phone?'

'Oh!' We all turn to him with raised eyebrows. 'Right, it was Kai's number I gave him! Ah, I thought I'd stopped doing that…'

'You've given your creeps my number before?!'

'Well come on, I mean sure there might have been some random texts and calls, but really, did anything catastrophical actually come out of it?'

'My last boyfriend!' Kai's looking angrier by the second.

'Holy shit, actually?! Ah damn, that's why Kane looked so familiar!'

We all have both eyebrows raised now, gaping back and fourth between them uselessly like the goldfish on Kenny's hoodie from the Japanese restaurant. Kai, the poor bastard, is grinding his teeth now to the point that they must be sharp as knives. Shit, and no wonder; it must be a blow to find out your ex was a fuck-buddy one-night-stand of Tyson's… I think I'd throw myself off a cliff.

'You'd think Kane would have said something, though,' Kenny puts fourth thoughtfully.

Tyson shrugs. 'Well I was clearly with The Honourable Asshole at the time, so I guess we had an unwritten agreement to act entirely oblivious about the whole thin-'

'What do you mean act? You completely forgot who he was!'

I, as usual, am flatly ignored. 'Hey Kai, why did the two of you even break up?'

That was a bold move even I wouldn't make when questioning Rei about cleaning methods, but Kai simply glares and says though his teeth, in a surprisingly calm voice, 'he was cheating.'

Not quite knowing what to do or say, we all wince and suck air through our teeth awkwardly. Well, all except…

'Cheating?! But he said I was the only one!'

'Tyson, I swear to god…'

'Well at least nobody ended up poisoned in this relationship…'

'Hey!' I cry out indignantly at what I know is a blatant insult to my first one. 'I was thirteen! Nobody told me you weren't supposed to keep fish in a drawer!'

…Well they didn't!

…

'You like to buy a drink for your lady?' the sleazy barman asks. As apparently he's free to leave his bar, it appears none of us will ever be rid of him…

'Oh, well, thanks but we're no-'

'How do you know she's not my lady?!'

'Tyson, if you don't shut the hell up-…'

…

'Marco, I'm hallucinating this total loser is talking to us…'

'No, you're not hallucinating! I'm a real loser!'

Poor Tyson's not having such a good night. He'll most likely blame it on his burst blood vessels giving him panda eyes, but I reckon everyone in this place just sees him for what he really is…a dick-head in a gold shirt.

Well, I guess the panda-eyes don't do him any favours either.

I might take pity on him though, as he's run out of cheesy chat-up lines and in a panic has resorted to screaming out every well-known line he knows.

'THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!'

'You appear to be scaring people off, more than anything…'

'I…UH…WHO YOU GONNA CALL?!'

'Okay, Tyson, let's go outside for some air…'

'But...but…the force is strong with this one!!'

…

From Chapter 8

Day 9- The day of fuck-all. Kai's POV.

…

'You guys, Kenny's pretty sick. Maybe we should take him to a hospital…'

'What?!'

'Er, I mean…Disneyland!!'

Max stares at Kenny with a contorted expression, tilting his head to one side to ensure maximum dementia. 'He doesn't look good, guys…' yeah speak for yourself, 'maybe there's something wrong with him! Tyson, shoot him a…um…a maths equation!'

'Okay,' Tyson leaps up to the challenge. Kenny and I both groan. 'Okay chief, if you have 70 euros, and seven friends, and you give 10 euros each to two of those friends, what do you have left?'

'Two friends!' Hilary's voice shouts from the bathroom.

'Tyson, that's not a fucking maths equation!'

…

Just as this night can't get much more pathetic, Tyson wanders over looking horribly suspicious, a disgusting white blob dripping down his chin. Ugh, if he's going to be a fucking whore he could at least be subtle about it!

'Tyson!' Max cries out with excitement, lifting his half-empty glass of trans-fat in the air. 'You had the mayonnaise martini too?!'

'…Is that what we're calling it now?' This situation would be funny if it weren't so fucking messed up. What kind of twisted club is this! No wonder it might as well be empty… This is about as pleasurable as sharing a bath with a fan-heater.

…

From Chapter 9

Day 10- The day of committing mass deafness on all who bear witness. Max's POV.

…

Suddenly, an ear-splitting shriek catches my attention. This can only mean one thing: either it was Hilary just being herself, or the demon bird has finally come for Kai…I must investigate!

I charge through the open door into Tyson's room to see Hilary almost toppling off the balcony. Kai's standing there looking as though he's fighting the side of his brain telling him to push her over the ledge.

'What's going on?' I ask, trying to hide my disappointment at the lack of demon bird in the room.

'He threw my camera off the balcony!' Hilary screams, turning to look at me with a rather red face from hanging upside down.

'Kai!' Tyson steps out of the wardrobe. 'That's dangerous! What if it hit somebody?'

'Fuck somebody, what about my camera!?'

Am I the only person wondering why Tyson was casually standing in the wardrobe this entire time?

Apparently so, because Hilary's launched herself at Kai and they've both tumbled on to the bed. Kinky. Or at least, it would be if they weren't either on a murder mission or squirming in the un-manliest way possible, depending on which one we're looking at.

'Leave him alone, Hil!' I scream without warning, alarming Tyson so much he leaps back in the wardrobe. Charging at them, I take Hilary by the arms and amazingly manage (just about) to pull her away from the stick-insect still wincing below.

'He broke my camera! Why the hell should I, Max?!'

'Because…er…he's your son!'

'Oh come on!'

We both pause in our disagreement of Hilary's relations to stare back down at the bed with concern at the whimpering still emerging from Kai. Man, I had no idea he could be such a wuss when in such close contact with girls. And this is the man who wears their rose colours on his toes! Though, despite this painful blow to his reputation, it seems we've discovered something that scares Kai more than his own chicken-legs. Even Tyson's head re-emerges for a final time. And I realise I probably screamed a little too loudly, because before we know it…

'What's going on in here?!' Matron-Rei has graced us with his excessively ungraceful presence. 'The Castanlleta's are complaining that their cat can't sleep, and-'

'What kind of blue pansy would I have to fuck to have a son like that, the female smurf?!' Hilary exclaims, a little slow on the uptake. Rei decides this conversation is too odd for him and backs out the room again. We all stand in silence. I am absolutely horrified at the thought of fucking a smurf, Kai is absolutely horrified at the thought of Hilary giving birth to him, and Tyson looks worryingly interested in the subject, so I think it's about time we head down for dinner…

…AND KAREOKE! BOOM, BABY!

-x-

…

We forget our embarrassment for just a moment to gather round Kai and, as much as we can't bear it, brace ourselves to watch what he recorded. For the most part, it consists of a surprising amount of dodgy butt-shots it seems Kai is only able to do when slightly inebriated. Aside from this monstrosity, there's so much blurred whizzing you'd think I'd been the one with the camera, accompanied by a dismal noise which needs to be muted after a while so as to prevent us all becoming tone-deaf. Who decided the worst singer of all of us should be placed next to Kai, and with the other microphone?!

'…My god.' Rei pales as Daichi puts on a face insinuating he's about to burst into tears. I nod in agreement.

'Why on earth is the singing so deep?' Tyson wrinkles his nose in confusion.

'Oh, er, that was me,' Hilary flushes slightly. 'I wanted to distinguish my voice from the rest of yours so I lowered it.'

'Hil, you had the bloody microphone! Now the entire thing's in a freakin' A-minor!'

'It's not as if it would have been better anyway!' she defends.

There's another silence as we make our way to the elevator, avoiding the glances and glares of those passing by who recognise the now infamous quartet, perverted-looking camera man, and ape who couldn't quite reach the microphone.

We reach the elevator and are almost at our floor before a giggling noise issues from behind us. We turn to see Hilary smiling a little behind her hand. 'You know, it wasn't all that embarrassing in the end. Actually, it was quite fun!'

This is the type of random happy outburst usually reserved for Hermione Granger after the annual June You-Know-Who attack on Hogwarts, but before we can massacre her, another, much more frightening laugh emerges from the other corner as the doors open.

'I know, right?!' Kai exclaims with a horrifying resemblance to Regina George. 'I'm so glad we did that!'

Tyson groans groggily as we miserably pile out through the doors, hoping with all our hearts that nobody's out there. The two who have clearly now forgotten the previous fight over a camera trail behind, watching the video again and laughing loudly at all the shots of our asses flashing across the screen, mirth drowned in what I strongly feel should really have been Over-Protected.

'Hey, guys!' a voice cries out from behind. I see Tyson violently shudder at the voice and am sure Kai's done the same, as the bizarre laughter has indeed come to a sudden halt.

'Err…heyy, Kane…' Hilary puts fourth gallantly. 'We, er, we didn't know you were staying here too?'

Oh dear god, you know what this means don't you? (What does it mean, Max?) Well I'll tell you! This means that while we were up there making absolute asses out of ourselves, Kane was most likely seated by the pool watching with wonder his old boyfriend recording a previous one night stand shaking his ass to Britney Spears. Of course he won't say anything though; Kane's a nice guy. But we all know this, and we all know that he knows this, and some kind of sneaky decoy is what's needed in order to disperse our embarrassed selves of the situation at-

'You want to come in? We were going to order room service!' Holy shit, did I just say that?! Fuck, I clearly have a loose connection somewhere between my brain and mouth.

Mind, that's not the only loose connection I'm going to have soon, as I can tell by the look on Tyson's face. Actually, Hilary doesn't look too happy either. I think it's something to do with him being Kai's ex. Girls are funny like this; always protective over their guy friends. Plus, we all know Hilary thinks Kai's hot, despite his raging preference for penises.

'Ah, I'd love to, thanks Max!' he grins, following the rest of us into mine and Rei's room. While Kai grudgingly orders an extra meal he knows he'll end up having to pay for, the rest of us traipse onto the balcony (or stumble, in Rei's case. Where on earth did he get that tequila shot..?)

'So, Tyson…' Kane bravely closes the extremely awkward silence. 'How's, erm, Garfield?'

(A/N): I've used the Garfield thing twice now, I think that's all I can get away with =P

Tyson twitches a little, but smiles politely. 'It's Garland, actually. And, er, we broke up.'

For a second the mood goes completely downhill, and I'm getting slightly worried we might have to break into another bout of Single Ladies. I think Kane might have had just about enough of that for one night.

'So you and Tyson had a fling-a-ding-ding?' Fortunately that didn't come out of my mouth this time. Daichi's clearly bored of normal conversation and has resorted to making everybody uncomfortable.

So naturally, I join in! 'Oh yes, Daichi. Actually, Kane here is the only guy Tyson has ever been seme for!'

Kane laughs nervously as Daichi pipes up in awe, 'woww, I've heard so much about-'

'Oh. My. God!' Hilary seems ready to attack again. I think we've had quite enough of that this evening! 'Oh my god, oh my god!'

'What the hell?' Tyson is clearly as perplexed as the rest of us. Very unhelpfully so, might I add.

'Seme? Seme?! What were you doing being seme, you might as well be straight! Why him?!'

'Woah, Hil…' Tyson escorts her into the bedroom as Kai walks out from placing the order.

'So, babe…' Rei slides up towards Kane, who's beginning to look more uncomfortable by the minute. He licks his lips in a thoroughly unattractive way before slurring, 'you wanna' make out?'

'Well, um,' Kane searches frantically for a way out that's never going to arrive. 'Let's see how the evening goes.'

Rei grins. 'You got it, honey! Hey Tyson, where do we keep the vodka in this stupid place?'

'What do you want me to do, Rei? It's your room!' Tyson's voice shouts back from inside as Rei disappears through the doors saying things like 'ooh, maybe it's in the wardrobe I discovered…' You'd think it would take us to bleedin' Narnia, the way he's going on about it!

I'm currently situated between Kai and Kane with a maniacally frightening grin plastered on my face. It tends to be how I handle awkward situations…

'So technically Kai, it's like you've slept with Tyson.'

…Ah, and that too. 'Kane and Tyson…Kane and Kai…'

'And apparently it will be Kane and Rei later on,' Kane cuts in with a humorous smile. Well, I guess if he hadn't learned to deal with us by now, he'd be dead. Yep, dead. I don't really know how someone unequipped could deal with us and come out alive.

'Guy-' Rei is cut off by the sound of his own face hitting the concrete of the patio as he tumbles, arms flailing, having tripped over the threshold even Tyson has managed to step over every time. He scrambles up again and tries to remember what he was about to say. 'I…er…um…'

'The drinks are here!' Tyson calls from somewhere inside.

'I WAS DOING IT, TYSON!' Rei bellows as we all sidle past him, a little nervously in Kane's case.

As we walk in, Hilary's in the middle of a heated discussion with Tyson. 'I just don't understand why it's him you would have picked to be seme for!'

'Hil, I've told you a thousand times; being seme and being straight are not the same thing! You can't possibly be jealous over-'

'I am not jealous!' Hilary picks up her drink as her audience does the same. 'And I'll tell you why I'm jealous!' she continues. 'Because I'm not jealous!'

…What?!

'You're jealous of those two?' this is a rare moment folks, one where Kai expresses a form of confusion…even, dare I say it, concern. Crikey… 'Hil, you know I was actually with Kane, right? We weren't just some one-night-stand. If anything, you should be mad about-'

'I am not mad!' Hilary takes a gulp of her drink. 'And I'll tell you why I'm mad!' she continues. 'Because I'm not mad!'

'I don't get it!' Daichi wails. My sentiments exactly, young padawan!

Rei laughs goofily, pointing at Kai and almost falling over himself. 'So that's what he sounds like!'

We all directly ignore him. 'Blimey, is this what I'm like when I'm drunk?'

'Max, you can be like this when you're not drunk.'

'I don't get it, though. Why be jealous over Tyson's fling and not my actual relationship? I mean, they had sex once! We had sex all the time! Sometimes in public places, like the time we went to the stable and got caught by my grandfather!'

Oh my god, stop it stop it stopitstopitstopit! Kai's just had a major case of OOC and I can't stand it! I'm sorry, God! I'll never ask for Kai to be more interesting again, I swear it! Just please, bring him back to normal!

'Dude, why are you trying to compete with me for Hilary's opinions?!' Tyson raises an eyebrow, then demanding in the same tone, 'And why didn't you tell me you had a stable?!'

'I...have no idea.' I am assuming he's answering the first question. 'It just seems a threat to me, you getting an upper hand in the battle…'

Oh god, the battle. Tyson and Kai have such rivalry with absolutely everything, it's now been given a name: the battle (well no shit, Max). This battle will never be won; it's an on-going competition, worse than any guy-count-competition had between Tyson and Hilary, that will never ever end even after the two of them die. Which…could be arranged…

While I invoke my evil plot (mwahahah…), the bickering continues as Daichi starts smashing things up in the bathroom in a fit of uncontrollable hunger, and Rei tries to engage Kane in conversation, ignoring all requests like 'I'd prefer it if you didn't touch me'. I decide it would be best if we all stepped back onto the balcony and stop disturbing Kenny next door, leading the party out as Kai rings downstairs to see what's taking the food so long.

'Well I just find it slightly insulting that Tyson was able to shove his dick into something the very same day he claimed he could never ever bring himself to shove it into me!'

Firstly, holy fucking shit, I didn't know that! The prospect of those two ever being…eugh! It's just odd! But despite her quite vulgar word-choice (which could have used some revision for the sake of the rest of us), the expression on the poor girl's face even stops Tyson in his tracks. I don't think it's even a case of wanting to fuck Tyson; I think she just feels insulted. (I should fucking hope it's not a case of her wanting to fuck Tyson, at any rate!)

'Aw come on, Hil,' Tyson smiles kindly at her. 'That was one night, and a huge mistake. Come on, I never wanted to be seme, and didn't even like it that much. I even gave him a fake number, didn't I?' Well, it was Kai's, but I'm sure that's redundant. 'Honest to god, it meant absolutely nothing to me.'

'Yeah,' I pipe up, mainly because I feel slightly left out but also because I have something to contribute which isn't stupid for once. 'I remember the next day, Hil. Do you know what he did? He cried the whole god damn day and said all he wanted to do was to talk to his best friend… The fucker!'

'Max!'

'I thought I was your best friend!'

'Maxie, every gay needs a girl! Haven't you ever seen Will & Grace?' he grins back at Hil, who's also looking genuinely happier. 'Being seme was crap, Hil. It meant nothing.'

I sense an 'awww' moment coming on…

'Well it meant something to me!' Oh god, just when it was starting to go well. Right, Maxie, plots to murder everybody can resume…(I have spent way too much time with Kai!)

'Bu-Kane! You went out with Kai! We were a one-time-deal!'

…is it weird and a little too camp that I referred to myself as Maxie in my own mind?

'Didn't you consider for one moment that it was you I wanted to be with?! Didn't you think I wanted more than that?!'

Daichi, Hilary, Rei and I share rather startled looks. The drunker of the group even appears to have abruptly sobered! Hilary gives Kane a reproachful look as though she wasn't the one being completely unreasonable a couple of minutes ago. That girl's mood swings are fricken' miraculous as Rei's transformation from drunk to sober.

'Wha-but-but…' Tyson's completely at a loss for words (a miracle in itself). 'What about me could possibly have made it that memorable?'

'Well, if you must know, it's the only time I've ever been able to cum in my entire life.'

'What?!' Enter Kai. Oh shit.

'It's the truth! Kai, you could never do what Tyson could!' I think that's the first time anybody's ever heard someone say that when not referring to some food-eating contest.

Kai is outraged. 'You fucking cheated on me!'

'Exactly! I knew I couldn't have Tyson so I needed to seek elsewhere!'

Hang on a minute…I think I've had an epiphany here…wait…men can't fake it!

Okay, maybe it's not the best epiphany in the world, but still! 'Guys, me-'

'You said you had a semen deficiency!' Oh my lord, Kai, stop! And I don't even mean stop talking about personal stuff, I mean stop trampling on my chance to be intelligent, damn you!

'I had to say that!' he cries out dramatically. I've suddenly become very aware of people watching us from the hotel opposite…and the men three floors down are peering up to look at us aswell. I guess we are being sort of LOUD over here…just a little. I feel my cheek muscles contracting in that uncontrollable grin again. Oh dear. 'I tried, Kai! And I almost managed it that time in the stable, until your grandfather barged in! But my god, you don't know what it's like! All I ever wanted was Tyson and I had to live with knowing he didn't want me!'

He suddenly takes off into the bedroom. Kai throws his beer bottle off the balcony like he did Hilary's camera, but this time with much more force. Tyson appears to be thinking up his last words, and I think my face is going to crack with the force of the unstoppable grin.

'Geez,' Hilary raises an eyebrow. 'What a crazy bitch.'

Rei smirks, walking back towards the bedroom. 'Oh yeah. This is exactly how I wanted this evening to go…'

I follow him, partly to ensure he doesn't break every bone in his body on the way, and partly to rid myself of The Grin ©. Kane's in tears on the bed, so Rei and I sit down on either side of him.

'You have plenty of love in you,' Rei says soothingly, nodding in understanding. 'You just need someone to give it to.'

'Exactly!' Kane sniffs. 'I…just need someone to depend on me…'

'Hmm…hold that thought.' Rei leaps up and charges out the door, seizing Hilary's card key on his way out. In his five-second absence, a short silence reigns in which Kane glances at me with an expression of sincere thanks…and I think the grin is stuck… Rei's then back again before we know it. Panting before Kane, he produces something from behind his back.

'Would…would you like a Chihuahua?' he gasps out, holding the revolting creature with an obvious plea in his eyes.

(A/N): Tyson bought a Chihuahua in a previous chapter…for some reason…

Kane clearly doesn't notice it though, because he takes it in his hands and his whole face lights up. 'Oh, thankyou! I shall name him Tyson…'

'Very appropriate!' I beam, helping him up and showing him to the door. 'ItwasnicetoseeyouagainKane,maybewe'llseeyoutomorrowbye!' Oh god, I've turned into Tyson…

I lean back against the door after closing it and heave a sigh of relief. Rei catches my eye and the two of us chuckle a bit, the moment being slightly ruined (and by that, I mean made so much better) by Kai's irritated voice.

'Are you telling me I'm paying for a meal the guy's not even going to eat?!' Well, when that's all Kai can find to be annoyed about, at least we know nobody's going to die…tonight! Mwahahahah!

'Max, what's with the evil laughing?' I…definitely didn't realise I was doing that out loud…

…

(A/N): I had nothing for chapter 10 yet, unfortunately. I hope you enjoyed that; I wanted you all to see it, in case none of it ever gets shown. I just think that would have been a shame, the amount of time I spent on the other chapters.

At least I gave you quite a bit to read! XD

Goodbye for now, When In Spain… I hope to see more of you all soon. Or should I say, I hope you see more of me soon :P