Chapter 4

"Willow, I need you to do me a huge favor."

"You know I would do anything for you, Nikki. We are best friends, practically sisters."

"I need you to tell my parents I might run a little bit late since I am going to visit my grandparents."

"In Abnegation?" Willow asks.

I cross my arms, "yes."

"Aren't you grounded?" Willow slings her back pack around her shoulder and adjusts her headband. She never ceases to amaze me at how well she can carry herself.

"I am, but my grandparents are ABNEGATION, the chances of me having FUN are very slim. Trust me, they won't question it, they don't let me do more than work on my homework and eat chicken and peas. If anything, they will think I am punishing myself form guilt."

"So tell them that you are going to Abnegation...But you aren't actually going to visit them, are you?"

"I am going to actually visit them... On my way to walking Jax to Amity."

"Oh, so we are at the 'secret meetings without your parents knowing' stage?"

"Willow, will you tell them or not?"

"Of course, Nikki. You go on your date-"

I cut her off, "it's not a a date."

"okay on your little...walking home thingy."

Why would she think this is a date? "It's not a date."

"I know, I just agreed with you."

"Okay good, because I would hate for you to be disappointed that this isn't date."

Willow crosses her arms, "Okay, it's not a date."

"Thank you."

Willow smirks at me and flips her hair back, "you were hoping this was a date weren't you?"

Incredulous, I set my hands on my hips, "I was not!"

"Then why were so insistent that it wasn't a date even after I agreed with you? You were trying to justify that it wasn't a date. You were hoping that it was a date, I know it."

"Willow, I need to go alright? Don't forget to tell my parents."

Willow smiles, then breaks into a run with the train and pulls herself inside, her blonde hair blurring out of sight. I turn towards the schools and wait for the numbers of the students to dwindle. This isn't a date, right? Do I even want it to be a date?

No, I don't. This is just forming a friendship, Jax approaches me. "Are we jumping onto trains?"

"Yeah, I can't walk you to the gate, though. I have to stay on the train and then go to Abnegation to visit my grandparents." We head to the trains, letting a few cars roar past us.

"Your grandparents are Abnegation?" Jax zips his jacket up and smiles at me.

"Yes, my mother was a transfer. It's rare to be an Abnegation transfer to Dauntless."

"And did your father switch?"

I have learned not to mention were Daddy is from, I don't know the whole story, but I know he is from Abnegation and his life there was not very good. I haven't ever met my grandfather who lives in Abnegation, Mom says it is safer that way. Apparently, my grandmother died in childbirth. Although, there seems much more to that story than what Daddy tells me. I realize Jax has been waiting for an answer, "I never asked."

Jax looks at me curiously, as if he isn't sure whether or not I am telling the truth. But he doesn't press the matter, "we should jump on."

We run side by side, me easily, Jax pulls himself in without my help. Even though it was rough and very shaky, it was still better than the last time where I had to pull him into the car. The two of us sit on the edge of the train, our legs swinging in the wind. "Can I ask you a question?"

The wind blowing past us makes it difficult to hear, but I can read his lips just well enough to make out what he is saying. "Why not."

Jax glances around then stars down at his hands, "in about eight months we have our aptitude tests, are you scared?"

"Honestly?" I ask, "without judging me for not being Dauntless enough?"

"Of course not."

"I'm terrified," I breathe out, and lean back on my hands.

"Do you think you will switch?"

"No, I love my home."

"Even if you had an aptitude for say...Candor?"

I break into a grin and try not to laugh, "no! I don't care if I get an aptitude for any faction outside of Dauntless, I won't leave."

"Your family is there."

"My life is there." I say, "my parents, my baby brother, my best friend, my aunts and uncles, everything."

"I understand that. So you don't plan on switching."

"I haven't ever given switching factions a thought. What about you?"

"I don't know."

"You mean you might switch?" I lean my head back and let the wind blow my hair around my face.

"I might, if I had a good reason to leave."

"Don't you have a good reason to stay?" I open my eyes and look at Jax through my tangled locks.

"I have a decent reason to stay, but at the moment I am thinking that their might be a very strong reason to switch developing." He smiles at me, silence settling between us. I close my eyes and lay back along the floor of the train, wondering what reason Jax could possible have for leaving his faction and family behind.

It stays quiet between us until, Jax nudges my shoulder with his elbow, "this is where I get off."

I sit up, "how long did that take?"

"Only about ten minutes for the train to get to the fields."

I nod, I can just tell Grandma and Grandpa I walked to Abnegation, especially if I mention jogging and running through the neighborhood on my way there to explain my windblown hair. My grandparents are very perceptive. I stand up as Jax prepares to jump off the train, we stand staring at each other unsure of a proper goodbye. Do we hug? Shake hands? A dilemma I have come to realize has no real answer.

"I will see you again tomorrow, right?" Jax asks, handing me another red apple, "I picked it on my way to school this morning."

"Thank you...I think I could do this again tomorrow."

Jax takes a step back, preparing to jump off the train, he turns to me and smiles, "I think since we have broken rules together, we are classified as friends."

"I think that's fair." Jax gives me a small hug, one that I swear made my heart stop beating. Jax leans back and turns to the field.

"Goodbye." He jumps off the train, less than gracefully, and waves as he slowly disappears from view. I let the scene blur until the standard grey homes come to focus. I need to talk to Grandma anyway, she always knows what to do. Jax gave me a hug, and called us friends.

I feel some disappointment, maybe Willow was right. I was hoping this was some sort of date. I hate when Willow is right, she never let's me forget about it. I toss my bag around my shoulder and jump off the train. I always avoid the Factionless area since it always creeps me out, they look so lost, even though the Abnegation have seen to it that they are fed and clothed, they just don't fit together. Mix-matched clothing and their standoffish attitude makes them seem so alone, lost without a people to belong to, a family. I run through there, and slow to a quick walk counting the houses until I come to the home of my grandparents. When I was younger and my parents took me to visit, I would get lost since each home looked exactly the same. I have learned now to count the houses on the street and memorize the number that signifies their home. I walk up the steps, even though I know that their door is always unlocked I always use the manners my parents were sure to teach me and knock.

It only takes a moment for the door to open, "Grandma!" I smile and hug her, forgetting how it would be more polite of me to bow when I see her. Although, she and Grandpa realize that my first response is not to bow to them, but hug them. They have long since accepted at my displays of affection, sometimes I have a nagging suspicion that they secretly love it.

"Hello, Nikki. It's nice to see you, too."

"Is it alright if I stay for dinner?"

"Have you asked your parents?"

"Well, not really, but you can call and ask for me right? I mean, they can't say no to you."

Grandma gives me a smile as she shuts the door behind me. I set my shoes next to the door and throw my bag on the counter in the kitchen. "Is Grandpa back from work?"

"He will be soon, would you like something to eat while I call your mother."

"Is my secret stash of candy still hidden in the pantry?"

"Yes, it is." Grandma presses one of the phones to her ear, it's coil swaying back and forth with her pacing movements, she said that they didn't have phones in Abnegation until recently. Only the council members had them, in case of some type of government emergency or to speak with any representative from Erudite, since they still haven't allowed any Abnegation into their sector for years. Apparently, phone calls are the only ways they can get anything done between the two factions, of course I am not supposed to know that. But dinner with my grandparents always leads to some type of government discussion. I grab a few pieces of candy as I hear Grandma speaking on the phone.

I sit on the counter popping hard candies into my mouth, Grandma turns to me, setting the phone on the hook, "they said it was fine that you were here, even though you are grounded."

"Did I forget to mention that?"

Grandma gives me a stern look, "yes you did. You were grounded." She phrases it as a statement, probably because it is un-Abnegation to be curious outside of asking a question that relates to doing something for someone else. Although, I seem to bring out the un-Abnegation in my grandparents, who are much more relaxed with me around. I think it's because I try very hard to be respectful of their customs and beliefs, so they are willing to let me get away with a few things. Like eating candy and sitting on the counter.

"Well, I got home late from school. After getting detention."

"Detention." Grandma sets a pot on the stove, "Nikki please get the plates out and set them on the table."

I set the plates on the table, "I was talking class."

"Talking in class, I assume with Willow."

We have learned how to discuss things in a selfless manner, "no, with someone else. Another friend."

"Good to hear that you are making new friends, although I don't think that talking in class is the best way to proceed with the friendship."

"Well, he and I were having a long and interesting discussion."

"He?" Grandma doesn't turn to face me, as she stirs the peas in the pot on the stove top.

"Well, that's one of the reasons why I am here. I needed someone to talk to."

"You have your parents."

I set the cups out, "Grandma, Mom would be upset that I wasn't paying attention in class and Daddy would freak out if he found out that I was even speaking to a boy who he didn't already threaten if they so much as looked at me the wrong way."

Grandma laughs and toasts some bread, "that is a valid point."

I set the forks out and laugh, "his name is Jax."

"One of your new friends. I thought you knew everyone in Dauntless."

I stay quiet, but Grandma has always looked out for me, she loves me, "he's Amity."

Grandma stops stirring for a moment, "Amity. Nikki, who else knows about this?"

"Just Willow. It's not like we are dating, just friends."

"Although, I sense you like him."

"I might...He took me to Amity yesterday," I smile at the thought and remember the apple I tucked into my bag, "hold that thought, Grandma."

I slide to the counter and pull my apple from my bag, taking a large bite, "it was beautiful, have you ever been there?"

"Don't chew and talk, Nikki." Grandma turns to me, I blush and continue to chew my apple. "I have, it is very beautiful. Nikki, I don't think that going to Amity is something you should do again."

"Why?" I swallow and take another hunk out of the apple.

"We will talk more about this after dinner, your grandfather will be home in a few moments."

As if on que, the front door swings open, I hear it shut and listen to Grandpa's footsteps. He turns into the kitchen and smiles at me, "Grandpa!" I slam into his arms. Grandpa has a soft spot for me, I think it's because I am his first born grandchild. My grandparents are quite young, considering how young my parents were when they had me. I bet he didn't expect me so soon, thus I was a special surprise for them.

"You seem to be getting so much bigger with every time I see you."

"Do you mean I look older? Because I haven't grown in a while." I give him a kiss on the cheek and turn to help Grandma set the food on the table.

Grandpa helps us, "you look older."

Sitting down, it stays quiet while we set food onto our plates, "how long are you here Nikki?" Grandpa asks.

"As long as I am home before curfew in Dauntless I can stay."

Grandpa smiles, "how is your brother?"

"Fine, although he has recently discovered how to put food up his nose. Mom is having a great time with that one."

Grandpa chuckles and Grandma giggles, Grandpa takes a sip of his drink, "and your parents?"

"Great, although Daddy seems to think he is invincible and Mom wants another baby, I think. She has been dropping hints since Noah will be walking soon."

Grandma smiles, "well I had your Uncle Caleb and your mother almost a year apart, since she seems to take after me, that would make sense."

I nod, "I can't imagine another kid at home. I love Noah, but I need some time in between another one being born."

Grandpa laughs, "it was definitely an interesting experience having two young children."

I continue to eat my dinner and allow Grandpa and Grandma their time to discuss work. It always bores me so I eat the bland chicken and steamed peas, saving my toast for later. Since I keep a small jar of honey that I use to sweeten the toast up. Grandpa volunteers to do the dishes, and I help clear the table and Grandma invites me to go see the new plants she planted to grow some vegetables.

I know the real purpose of coming outside was so that we can talk privately, "Nikki, I hope you know how much I love you."

"Of course Grandma."

"And I know that your tests are coming up soon."

"I know, I'm terrified."

"Don't be, just remember do not tell anyone your results."

I nod, "that never made much sense to me. But, Mom said she would sit down and talk tome before the tests about it."

Grandma sighs in relief, I wonder why? "Good, now about this boy, Jax."

"Yes?"

"Nikki, I don't want you to seem like you aren't loyal to your faction...Coming here is one thing since we are family. But Amity, is a different story. If someone from Dauntless finds out that you have befriended someone outside of Dauntless it could be taken negatively."

"I know, Grandma. I am very careful." It's a half truth, I mean we don't converse openly at school, and it's only been two days I haven't had to be careful about very much.

"You aren't going to like this but it's to keep you safe," I brace myself for whatever she is going to say, I don't understand why it is such a big deal that I have friends outside of my faction. It doesn't mean I want to be Amity, just that I have a friendship with someone from there. Even if I did want to be Amity, why is that an issue? Anyone would be stupid to think I would want to leave Dauntless for that. Even if I did want to be Amity, I wouldn't like it, I would make a way to fit in, but I'm Dauntless. This thinking is pointless. Grandma takes my hand, "promise me, you will keep this friendship restricted to an occasional hello and goodbye in the not crowded hallway at school?"

I swallow, I like Jax, a lot. We are friends now, it would be rude of me to just stop speaking to him like I have for the past couple of days. Plus, I want to have a friendship with him, I feel that disappointment at today's walk home not being a date, is it possible I want more from Jax, like a relationship? Grandma makes me look her in the eye, "promise me."

"I promise."

It's the first and the last time I ever lied to my Grandmother.

Review tell me what you think! It's unedited sorry...