Chapter Four

Sami puttered around the kitchen in her bare feet. The rest of the household was still asleep and she'd let them be, deciding to prepare breakfast instead so they could all enjoy it together. The quiet of the morning was interrupted by a short series of knocks on the door. Sami walked over to the door and opened it, her expression not changing when she saw who it was. "Rafe," she said casually, acknowledging his presence. This visit wasn't totally unexpected.

"Sami, we need to talk," said Rafe urgently. "I didn't get to tell you everything I wanted to say yesterday."

Sami arched an eyebrow. "And how is that my problem, Rafe?"

Rafe made a frustrated face. "Please, Sami, be reasonable and hear me out."

"Why?"

"Because you owe me that."

Sami blinked. "I owe you that?"

"You know what I mean."

"For the first time in our relationship I do," said Sami flatly. "I really, really do." She went to shut the door in his face. "Goodbye, Rafe."

Rafe stuck his foot in the door and barged his way into the apartment.

Sami made a grimace of annoyance. "Get out, Rafe. I don't want a scene and have the children woken up."

"I don't want to make a scene," Rafe assured her.

"Great, then leave."

"Not before I say what I have to say," said Rafe stubbornly.

"Alright, fine," said a disinterested Sami, "knock yourself out, but I was in the middle of making pancakes and I have to get back to my batter." She walked back over to kitchen and went back to beating the pancake batter.

"Okay, fine, as long as you hear me out," said Rafe, not put off by her attitude of indifference.

Just then EJ walked out of Sami's bedroom, scratching his belly and running a hand through his sleep dishevelled hair. He came to a halt when he saw Rafe and then looked over at Sami. "Everything alright, Samantha?"

"Rafe is going to say what he has to say and I'm making pancakes," Sami filled him in. "Do you want coffee?"

EJ nodded. "I'll make it." He walked around to join Sami in the kitchen.

Rafe's face had darkened in rage at the first sight of EJ. "Oh, of course," he snapped, "why am I even surprised?" He glared at EJ. "You know Sami's only back with you because she's mad with me, right?" Rafe sneered. "As soon as she calms down she'll be off to the next man."

"I'm not mad at you, Rafe," said Sami casually, beating her batter. "I'm grateful."

Rafe looked taken aback. "Grateful?"

"Yes," said Sami easily. "If it hadn't been for you trying so hard to keep your mask of perfection, then I would never have been able to see you for what you truly are."

"And what is that?" he growled in annoyance.

Sami shrugged. "Human," she said simply. "You're just human, Rafe. You don't possess any magical powers to make me into a better person. You're just a guy and when I could finally see that for myself, I was free."

"Free to throw yourself under this guy again," said Rafe bitterly.

"Raphael," said EJ, his voice menacingly low as he continued with the process of making coffee, "I'd seriously consider your choice of words right now to both Samantha and I. I won't have you speaking down to Samantha, when all she did was put her trust in you. You're the bad guy here, you're the one who lied and manipulated us both." EJ turned around to face him. "I lost my son yesterday and don't think I've forgotten your part in keeping me from him during all of this time, Hernandez."

"Is this where you threaten me and try to blackmail me again?" Rafe through back at him. He waved a hand at EJ. "Behold your Prince Charming, Sami."

"I told you, Rafe, I'm all grown up now, I don't believe in fantasies anymore," said Sami calmly. "I don't need a prince to rescue me, I need a man who'll walk beside me."

"And that's EJ, is it?" he scoffed. "Give me a break."

"What it is, is none of your business," Sami said and sent him an offhand look. "What goes on between EJ and I is private, it's none of your business."

"Until he hurts you again and you're looking for someone to pick you up and make you feel better," said Rafe dismissively.

Sami wasn't even annoyed. "I get why you'd say that, Rafe, because hey, that's been my MO for a while now but you know what, things change."

"You say that now, but we both know how this is going to turn out," said Rafe coldly.

Sami turned on the hot plate and didn't even look at him. "I'm not interested in proving myself to you, Rafe. I don't care if you believe me or not, that's not my problem." Sami glanced over at EJ and they shared a little smile. "There is only one person that I care about their opinion of me."

"You're just being reactive," said Rafe in annoyance. "You think your family are going to take this lying down. Think about what you're doing to them, Sami."

"I will," said Sami coolly, "as soon as they think about what they're doing to me."

"So, this is you punishing them, me?" asked Rafe bitterly.

"This is me making my own choices about what makes me happy in this life," Sami countered. "I'm sorry if my family is upset but I've tried to live the life they wanted for me for over thirty years and that hasn't turned out so great, particularly for my children. I'm going to try and live the life I want now, and see how that turns out."

"You're just being selfish, Sami," said Rafe tersely. "You're hurt and you just want to hurt others."

"Should I be writing down all the things you're saying I'm feeling?" Sami quizzed Rafe sweetly. "In case I forget them later on, I can go back to my shortcomings later on and get a refresher."

"You're making a huge mistake," Rafe warned her, glaring at EJ. "I tell one little lie and you're willing to throw everything we have away. How many times did you lie, Sami? How many times did I have to forgive you?"

EJ leaned against the counter and crossed his arms, a small smile playing around his lips. "Rafe makes an excellent point, darling. He has been incredibly forgiving of all of your shortcomings, after all and there are so very many of them. Why, I'm surprised he hasn't been given a sainthood simply on the basis he can stand to be in the same room with you."

Sami couldn't help but join in on EJ's needling of the other man. It was a lot more fun than getting mad because getting mad meant you still had strong emotions, and Sami simply didn't when it came to Rafe. Not now, not since she'd woken up. "I see what you're saying, EJ," said Sami with feigned thoughtfulness. "Rafe is standing here in the presence of two of the biggest sinners in Salem. I guess we should give him brownie points for that."

"Do you think this is a joke, Sami?" Rafe demanded angrily.

"I'm beginning to," said Sami laconically. She looked over at EJ. "EJ, pancake duty, if you please?"

EJ straightened up and went to tend to the pancakes, leaving Sami free to advance on Rafe. "All I could think about this last month was that if I could get you to forgive me, we'd somehow be transported back in time to when we were happy and everything was going to be alright. My family would approve of me and I'd be Mrs. Rafe Hernandez again, proof positive I was worth something in this world." Sami was walking towards Rafe, a gleam in her eyes and Rafe was backing up as she advanced. "But yesterday I woke up and realised that a different Sami was happy with you, Rafe and it's a Sami I don't want to be anymore. That Sami wasn't happy in her own skin, she was always looking for approval and validation outside of herself. You enabled that Sami and made sure she never had to grow up and face any kind of consequences. That Sami was a spoiled, self-centred child who was so insecure she never found her own worth. She not only didn't believe she could stand on her own two feet, she didn't want to even try and you loved every second with that Sami, because she made you feel like a real man."

Rafe was backing up, almost at the door as Sami kept walking towards him. "That's just crazy, Sami, you have no idea what you're saying."

"But I do, Rafe. At long last I know what I'm saying and why I'm saying it."

Rafe was standing in the door way now. He glowered down at her. "You're making a big mistake, Sami, you mark my words."

"I've made a lot of mistakes in my life," offered up Sami affably. "I know what they look like." She took hold of the door in one hand. "And this ain't it." With that, Sami slammed the door in Rafe's outraged face. Sami turned on her heel and walked back to the kitchen without a backwards look. "You're not burning my pancakes, are you?" she challenged EJ as she took over from him.

EJ was smiling. "I wouldn't dare." He gave her an interested look. "Is this the first stage of my wooing, Samantha? If so, I have to say I'm a fan, although I do hope the rest of the process has decidedly less of a Rafe flavour to it."

Sami pursed her lips and looked thoughtful. "Does beige have a flavour?" she wondered.

EJ chuckled at her humour but then gave her a curious look. "Are you truly not mad at the guy?"

"I'm mad at a lot of things, but not Rafe," said Sami philosophically. "I gave him that power over me, he didn't force me. I just can't bring myself to be mad at him. It's like all the air has gone out of that particular balloon and I just don't care, one way or the other." Sami gave EJ a concerned look. "What I do care about is you. How are you feeling today, EJ?"

EJ paused for a moment. "Glad that I don't have to go through these next few days alone," he said at last.

"And you don't," Sami reassure him. "Your family is here for you, EJ, always."

"You'll never know how happy those words make me, Samantha," said EJ huskily.

"It's the truth," Sami said, "and always will be." She picked up a plate and slid a pancake she'd just made onto it. "Here, I made this especially for you. It's my heart and I'm giving it to you." Sami smiled. "All part of the wooing."

EJ looked down at the plate and the misshapen pancake on it, a small smile playing around his lips. "That's your heart?"

"Yes."

EJ's smile became full-fledged. "In that case, sweetheart, we need to make you an appointment with your cardiologist straightaway," he teased her.

"That totally looks like a heart," Sami defended her work of art.

"After a lifetime diet of McDonalds and Crispy Cremes, maybe," EJ sassed her.

"Everyone's a critic," said Sami, feigning annoyance. She went to grab the plate. "Well, if you don't want it, I'll just take it back."

EJ hung onto the plate for dear life. "Oh no," he said hastily, "I want it, I really, really want it."

They wrestled over the plate, Sami trying not to laugh. They ended up face to face, noses almost touching and Sami couldn't help her eyes drifting to EJ's lips. "I promised myself I wasn't going to kiss you for at least a month, so you'd know I wasn't bouncing from man to man," she said weakly.

"That was a silly promise to make," EJ whispered against her lips.

"I know," said Sami faintly, feeling her head spin at being this close to EJ again. She looked up into his eyes and tried to let him see every little thing that was in her heart. "I want to take this slowly, EJ. I want us to do this right at long last."

"I know and we will," he promised her just before claiming Sami's lips in a tender kiss.

Sami gave herself into the kiss and closed her eyes, EJ's kiss finally bringing her out of the cold and into the warmth of his love and Sami had never known such peace...

~The Beginning~